Aww, Kansas Rep. Todd Tiahrt opened all of the presents Barack Obama gave the American people this year and cannot find “jobs” in any of them. (Since two of them have not even been signed into law yet, Tiahrt should not have expected “jobs” in those boxes.) But it’s not like this Tiahrt guy has done much for the employment situation this year either! Like when that top campaign aide of his turned out to have been arrested and indicted for rape in 2008, what did Tiahrt do? Fired him. (Only when the media found out!) How is firing your staff’s best rapist good for “jobs,” Todd Tiahrt? [YouTube]
Poor Congressman Cannot Find Any Jobs In His Christmas Boxes
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Re-gift to Kansas.
Don’t expect health care reform or climate change legislation either. Then look in the mirror for the reason, Todd!
Check under the tree again. There’s sure to be some nut jobs under there.
Too many of the American people are fat annoying teabagging Repukes. No jobs for them. They should count themselves lucky to be smacked in the head with a stocking full of coal.
I somehow suspect that this guy voted against the stimulus package, which actually has helped save and create jobs, and would mean he’s a total hypocrite. Just a hunch.
“Stop the spending…except if it is on billions of dollars of tanker planes that I’m forcing the government to build in my district.”
And especially since he made his aide demonstrate his skill at raping before hiring him to do “constituent services”. Gutless
I opened my present that had “jobs” inside, but since i already have a job too, I didn’t really give a fuck about it either.
Typical Repug, he has a fetish for big jobs.
No, no, you all misunderstand him. He’s a C-Streeter, he’s just upset about blowjoblessness.
OK, I can’t stand it any more. I have some questions for you people.
Have we become a more vulgar country? Are we coarser than, say, 50 years ago? Do we talk more about sensitivity and treat others less sensitively? Do you think standards of public behavior are rising or falling? Is there something called the American Character, and do you think it has, the past half-century, improved or degenerated? If the latter, what are the implications of this? Do you sense, as you look around you, that each year we have less or more of the glue that holds a great nation together? Is there less courtesy in America now than when you were a child, or more? Bonus question: Is “Excuse me” a request or a command?
(This is a riddle wrapped in a puzzle.)
Jesus Christ on a fish-powered-pogostick! There’s a stimulus funded rennovation project 2 FUCKING BLOCKS from where he’s standing! Do any of these reporters pay attention to the construction signs as they walk to the Capitol?
The name Todd Tiahrt should be illegal.
The end.
[re=481867]grevillea[/re]: I believe they usually spell that “b-l-o-w”…
When you’re so dumb that you look for jobs in a Xmas gift package, you’re too fucking ignorant to understand why you didn’t find any.
And, a Congressional District so retarded as to vote this dildo into Congress deserves to be jobless – and homeless, for that matter.
What kind of name is Tiahrt? Say it aloud. It sounds like a sneeze. And it starts with “Tia.” Isn’t that Mexican? Spelling FAIL.
[re=481870]Sharkey[/re]: Sharkey, what is this “excuse me” you speak of? What does that mean. In English, not Mexican.
Props are important to right-wingers. Todd aspires to be the Carrot Top of Prop Politics.
Wow — when he says things they suddenly become true. You’d think with powers like that he’d have fixed all our problems by now.
Hell, he ought to make a commercial that they play in the Middle East — it’ll feature Tiahrt saying that Allah promised you a gift of 72 virgins for blowing yourself up in the marketplace. And then he opens a box and says “But look — no virgins.” War on Terror is over right then and there.
The (ex-)staffer, Jase Stanton, was charged with aggravated sodomy. Tiahrt is running for the seat of Sam Brownback. Too bad there’s no blatant, obvious connection to be made here.
Why doesn’t he put his Cock in that Box and walk down Pennsylvania Ave. He’ll find some “Jobs”
Non, no, no! You don’t understand. By firing his senior staff rapists he created a job opening for a new rapist. See – job creation!
[re=481860]JMP[/re]: He probably railed against it, voted against it, and then when it passed immediately started taking credit for the jobs it generated in his district. AKA the Republican playbook.
[re=481877]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I saw a Mexican once.
[re=481885]Suds McKenzie[/re]: It can be done in only three easy steps!
He forgot to open that big box of dicks I sent him.
[re=481892]Sharkey[/re]: He had a job. Tiahrt should ask him.
How can somebody, with a congressman’s meager salary and a drug habit, afford fancy-smancy Stimulus wrapping paper and a gold bow? How, I ask you.
I’d rather get nothing from Barry than a Dick In the Box from the GOPers.
Someone needs to remind Tiahrt that he’s the one responsible for buying the gifts. Obama just signs the card.
And once again, I’m ashamed to be from Kansas. And I thought I might go a whole week…
Btw, this guy’s Republican opponent is literally named “Moran” and Moran’s actually the LESS embarrassing of the two.
I’m getting nut-jobs for christmas
mommy and daddy are mad
I’m getting nut-jobs for christmas
because I ain’t been nothin’ but bad.
[re=481874]germansteel[/re]: a Congressional District so retarded as to vote this dildo into Congress deserves to be jobless – and homeless, for that matter.
I take it you’ve never been to Wichita.
OT but fun:
A Yank friend of mine has directed me to CauseOfDeathJoe.com, where people can register all the deaths that will result from Sen. Lieberman’s vile douchebaggery…. pass it on!
/insert dick-in-a-box joke here//
[re=481860]JMP[/re]: Probably one of the ones bitching right now about how Obama should not spend paid-back TARP money on creating jobs.
He was probably hoping for “Pat Boone’s Dick In A Box”.
Fun Fact: In Kansas, aggravated criminal sodomy is sodomy with a child who is not married to the offender and who is under 16 years of age, and it’s a class b felony.
Criminal sodomy is sodomy between persons who are members of the same sex or between a person and an animal. It’s also a class b felony.
Adultery is illegal in Kansas. even the vaginal kind.
This brings up all kinds of interesting questions, which are not addressed in the statutes, as far as I can tell.
What about sodomy with a child who is married to the offender? What if married gays from Iowa spend their honeymoon in Kansas? What about sodomy between married children?
If Tiahrt does put his dick in a box, is that sodomy? Under Kansas statute, I think it is.
Republican sex laws make so little sense.
Of course he’s from Kansas a.k.a North Oklahoma.
[re=481924]OzoneTom[/re]: http://www.queerty.com/wp/docs/2007/11/patboonedick.jpg
Tiafrt brought President Obama’s dead mother into the abortion aspect of the healthcare debate. Oh it’s on muthafucka.
[re=481926]Katydid[/re]: CORRECTION
Criminal sodomy between persons of the same is a class b MISDEMEANOR, not a felony. Who says Kansas doesn’t believe in evolution?
Sorry for the error.
It’s like the old joke: What do you buy for the guy who has everything?
A box.
But I would buy this douche-knuckle a new name.
Cause his T’s are crossed and the i could be blotted.
[re=481870]Sharkey[/re]: i’ll take your test, sharkey. answers follow.
1. possibly; quite possibly.
2. we’re more open about it, it seems; less likely to want to hide behind veneers of politeness.
3. i don’t know, but it sometimes seems so.
4. falling. abysmal, even.
5. degenerated. we no longer believe our engenerating national myths, are no longer a nation any more than a burlap sack full of alley cats is.
6. we are in serious trouble, more serious than most of us realize or want to realize.
7. less. hard to see what glue would be strong enough to bind us. there was a short time, in the early autumn of 2001, when it looked as though we would be bound together again in ways we had not been in a generation or more, but the opportunity was more than wasted, it was thrown aside, tossed into a muddy ditch and trampled by the purveyors of illegal war, torture, rampant greed and criminally irresponsible speculation.
8. less.
9. a command. please to excuse us all, each and every one. ours was once a great nation, but now it is a tottering shell, rotted out from within and set to collapse once rapped hard enough.
“america,
where are you now?
don’t you care about your sons and daughters?
don’t you know we need you now?
we can’t fight alone against the monster.”
who is the monster? what is the monster? what are the answers to the riddles wrapped in puzzles?
my apologies, wonketties. my snarker barely functions any longer. give my regards to the prince of peace, i hear his birthday’s coming soon.
[re=481916]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Followed by: We should F*&$^# each other’s mom. Look it up people.
[re=481870]Sharkey[/re]: The answer is: buttsecks.
Jobs for Christmas:
http://ineedahandjob.com
[re=481943]slappypaddy[/re]: This was behind the resentment at the Adam Lambert incident on ABC in November. The compromise was breached. It was a broadcast network, it was prime time, it was the American Music Awards featuring singers your 11-year-old wants to see, and your 8-year-old. And Mr. Lambert came on and — again, in front of your children, in the living room, in the middle of your peaceful evening — uncorked an act in which he, in the words of various news reports the next day, performed “faux oral sex” featuring “S&M play,” “bondage gear,” “same-sex makeouts” and “walking a man and woman around the stage on a leash.”
So you see, Adam Lambert is clearly the reason that Americans are responding negatively in polls.
Again, in front of your children.
[re=481968]Sharkey[/re]: This is entirely true. Which is why I quickly put the 8 and 11-year olds to bed (the 9-year old, as you might notice, did not want to watch to being with), and spend the rest of the evening rewinding that scene on my TiVo, fap, fap, fapping in the breeze.
I would argue that the problem with America is that it is filled with prudish people who need a solid rimming.
I like it. At least he ain’t braggin’ on his own midget.
I’ve got a ‘job’ for Congresswoman Tiara.
Well, according to the Grand Dame Peggetha Noonington, the bad economy is Adam Lambert’s fault, or something like that. So it must be so.
[re=481870]Sharkey[/re]: I was alive 50 years ago, so I can answer this one! There are a lot of things that are better now and some things that are worse. Women and black people were treated like second-class citizens. It was okay to treat people who didn’t have as much money as you like shit. So I guess, yeah, there were more standards, if you like that sort of thing. And I’m dead certain there were plenty of people who would have done what the a-holes in the banking business did in the last 20 years if they thought they could get away with it.
[re=481968]Sharkey[/re]: my children are old enough to vote, which they do. early and often.
[re=482004]Mustang[/re]: How much bread cost granpa???
[re=481870]Sharkey[/re]: Yes, yes, yes. And currently I am wondering which one of our future Republican presidents, Palin, Bachman or Liar! Guy from S.C. will be the one who will order Washington D.C. to be set on fire and then write bad poetry about it.
Aren’t there sharpshooters on top of the capital?
[re=482008]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: A nickel, of course.
[re=482017]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: It’ll be Palin because she’s already building a miniature white house in Wasilla.
[re=482004]Mustang[/re]: OK, this is me this time, I’m not just copy-pasting:
For many hundreds if not thousands of years people have been claiming that their culture or society is turning into a moral sewer. It’s the reason for alcohol prohibition, the War on Drugsâ„¢, keeping people enslaved, not allowing them to vote, blah blah.
Where the FUCK did it ever get anybody? Culture evolves, it advances, new technology comes along, sometimes people even get freedoms that they never had before (wha-what?). IT IS NOT A SCARY THING! History does not look kindly on people who strongly believe that “we” have “lost our moral compass”, therefore this or that needs to be condemned, regulated, legislated against, or punished.
It is so fucking annoying that asshats like Peg Noonancy (Diane Rehm also comes readily to mind) get a national forum for their “it was better in the old days” bullshit. BULLSHIT, I say!
Now get off my lawn. I’d like to finish this bag of dicks in peace. And watch the snow fall, yay! SNOWPOCALYPSE!!
[re=481994]Joshua Norton[/re]: Here’s your “iPhone”. You deserve it.
Todd “Todd” Tiahrt – coming soon to a Senate near you. You may not notice, though, as he’d be replacing Sam “Wash them feet, boy” Brownback.
[re=481943]slappypaddy[/re]: I empathize with your snark failure. I have trouble getting out of bed, let alone being funny.
[re=482124]Sharkey[/re]: My grandpap was unfailingly polite to everyone — to their face. The minute they turned around he muttered, “Asshole.” I just don’t always wait for them to turn around. What’s rude to the goose is efficiency to the gander.
DICK IN A BOX!!!!!!!!
Plenty of jobs. Good paying jobs. Shoot’n up stone age village jobs. Every hear of Afghanistan dumb ass.
Facts are for chumps.
If you remember this, you will be much better equipped to deal with reality.
[re=481870]Sharkey[/re]: Hubby and I were talking about this this morning, as we contemplated the fucking blizzard outside. All snarkiness aside, we decided that the worst thing to happen to the world was the Internet. Not necessarily getting information, but too much unfiltered information, which allows any asshole to broadcast himself or herself to the world as if he or she really mattered — like what I’m doing now — and more sinisterly spreading misinformation as if it were really true, after which it goes viral and makes everybody stupid. So you get non-boys in balloons, and all the stupid stunts on YouTube, reality television, etc.
On the other hand, you could get real revolutions, etc. .. but the really heroic ones took place long before the Internet. Lech Walesa, bringing down the Wall, etc. (the recent Iran was a good try, but didn’t get anywhere, despite plastering Neda’s death all over the place).
Along with this, we’ve lost our ability to care for things that really matter, because we’re too busy filtering out all the cruft that doesn’t matter.
That, and the decline of the Fairness Doctrine. Get rid of talk radio — liberal (whatever there is of it) and neocon — and the IQ of the country would go up at least a dozen points.
/soapbox
Todd, your gift is the Daisy Red Ryder BB gun. Please go shoot your eyes out.
two shitty wars, out of control health care costs, 10% unemployment, housing market collapses… let’s respond to these problems with grotesquely childish stunts! congratulations, congressman todd whatever! you’re a hopeless fuckwit!
[re=482228]Gumboz1953[/re]: As an “early adopter” of technology in general, including the internet, much of the stuff that is currently problematic was easily imagined far in advance. We chose to “go there” anyway. The persistence of the ability to remain “anonymous” while reaching a sizable audience makes radical, novel self-expression easy, but what seems to persist even more strongly is the will to stop abortions, kill Muslims, burn gasoline, etc. Once you see it for what it is, it’s easy enough to filter out. What’s left are basic instincts: wanting to get high, screw, laugh at a funny, etc.
“Information longs to be free” and many former secrets are exposed – this really has nothing to do with the internet. It’s just a facilitator.
I went through a phase in the late 1990′s where I thought World War 3 was already being fought on military networks. And now that we know that everything that goes through the intertubes is being monitored by none other than the United States Federal Government, I have no question whether my imaginary WW3 is over. Either they won, or there was no war to being with.
Why didn’t somebody tell Lurch that the villagers were angry?
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