YOU TALKIN' TO ME?  1:48 am December 18, 2009

Biden & Obama: Will They Ever Agree About Springsteen’s Later Work?

by Ken Layne

Spanish Johnny, you can leave me tonight but just don't leave me alone
While you were eating the rest of that bag of chips and wondering whether to watch the teevee or stalk your ex on Facebook, Joe Biden and Barack Obama were dressed in evening clothes at the Kennedy Center, arguing the merits of recent work by Kennedy Center honorees Bruce Springsteen and Robert DeNiro. Biden’s opinion? It’s all fucking great.

Obama’s view? “If both of these Guidos had expired by the mid-eighties, American Culture would’ve died with a little bit more class.” Wait did he really say that? Oh right, no. [White House Flickr]

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shortsshortsshorts December 18, 2009 at 1:54 am

By eating bags of chips and stalking other people, you too can be a long-living, 85 year-old Guido.

Cranky Little Camperette December 18, 2009 at 1:55 am

Obama totally has that “I’m putting up with this drunken idiot because I am too fucking tired to swing a punch right now” look.

Or, as I call it, Tuesday…

villageatrois December 18, 2009 at 1:57 am

It’s a trap! Springsteen is that “Born in the U.S.A.” guy.

memzilla December 18, 2009 at 2:00 am

The truest definition of a guido: a guy who sits on the toilet while eating a hoagie.

mollymcguire December 18, 2009 at 2:05 am

And from out of the shadows came a young girl’s voice said: “Johnny don’t cry”

Joy December 18, 2009 at 2:07 am

meh. I’m just going to go do the stalking thing.

KristaJulieva December 18, 2009 at 2:24 am

Actually, if Robert DeNiro and Bruce Springsteen had a child together (as Nancy Pelosi wishes all babies were made, by gay sex) the kid would only be 3/8 Italian (a high-falutin’ word for Guido).

SayItWithWookies December 18, 2009 at 2:25 am

“If both of these Guidos had expired by the mid-eighties, American Culture would’ve died with a little bit more class.”

What — and miss out on masterpieces such as Angel Heart and — um — lots and lots of forgettable Springsteen? I rate DeNiro’s egg explication as one of the triumphs of pseudointellectual wankery screenwriting pre The Matrix. Although I’m sure Avatar has already revolutionized all that, what with all the exegesis being in 3-D and everything. It’ll be like Jack Kerouak times Poul Anderson times Michael Jackson (when he flew into the Los Angeles Olympics on a jet pack, of course). Throw in Amiri Baracka as the homeless street-preacher/shaman, Helena Bonham-Carter as the unstable girlfriend and Dame Judy Dench as Queen Elizabeth and you have the entire collection of 20th century intellectual oversimplifications in one goulash.

Now I’m going to go pee for twenty minutes and then try to cook a frozen pizza.

S.Luggo December 18, 2009 at 2:29 am

What’s the matter, trigger too tight?

tiny mexican December 18, 2009 at 2:37 am

You ain’t a beauty, but hey, you’re all right… steel mills closing, etc.

you cannot be serious December 18, 2009 at 2:38 am

You talkin’ to me?

you cannot be serious December 18, 2009 at 2:41 am

Shit. Must read tags before posting.

Potater December 18, 2009 at 2:56 am

Can we just buy Barack Obama some hookers and blow for Christmas? The guy seriously looks like he could use a stress reliever. Dump all the work on Clinton for the week-long bender, and just let Barry go hog wild in Denmark. He’ll return bloodshot and (hopefully) shirtless, but maybe we can smack that Frumpy McFrumperstein look off his face.

osama bin drinkin December 18, 2009 at 4:57 am

After reading this, I can not possibly put into words how glad I am that Layne is back on the regular.

Come here a minute December 18, 2009 at 6:40 am

Obama is looking at Biden with that, “‘The River’, please!” look

loquaciousmusic December 18, 2009 at 6:44 am

My favorite Springsteen album is Tunnel of Love. Does that make me a liberal?

ella December 18, 2009 at 6:58 am

Mmm, I love me some Hopey in a tux.

TVarmy December 18, 2009 at 7:56 am

I disagree with Obama. I’m required to love everything from Springstein as I live in New Jersey.


Fox News Light December 18, 2009 at 8:19 am

Obama wears a flag pin on his Tux. Many would say he really caved to the loonies…I say he does it for spite.

NJB December 18, 2009 at 8:29 am

[re=481264]loquaciousmusic[/re]: My favorite is “Nebraska’ – which makes me a depressive – without the manic part, I think.

Mr Blifil December 18, 2009 at 8:43 am

Wake me when Parliament/Funkadelic are the honorees.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 18, 2009 at 8:44 am

Wha? Huh? Sorry, lemme just wipe off the Hopey tux drool and I’ll get back to you on… on… whatever it is you were talking about.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 18, 2009 at 8:45 am

I mean, look at the guy, it’s like he’s about to go straight Godfather on the entire Senate.

Berkeley Bear December 18, 2009 at 9:47 am

Looks like O/Michael is about to give Biden/Fred the “Don’t go against the family” speech. So who’s going to wind up getting shot in the eye on a massage table ala Moe Green – my money’s on Lieberman (hope, hope, hope).

Berkeley Bear December 18, 2009 at 9:47 am

Fredo, dammit, Fredo

Schultz December 18, 2009 at 9:50 am

I’ll have to side with Obama on this one with a late-eighties caveat: ‘Midnight Run’ with Chuck Grodin is Deniro’s best film and it was downhill for Bruce after he danced with Courtney Cox.

SwanSwanH December 18, 2009 at 10:02 am

Er, Goodfellas, 1990.

Dead mid-’80s Springsteen shoulda taken Al Pacino with him instead.

magic titty December 18, 2009 at 10:03 am

[re=481279]Mr Blifil[/re]: Word.

Neilist December 18, 2009 at 10:06 am

[re=481265]ella[/re]: I love Hopey in a tux, too.

It’s so consistent with his True Inner Being: “Butler To Wall Street.”

The only question now is: Who will play Jack Benny to his Rodchester in the remake of the old TV show?

Neilist December 18, 2009 at 10:08 am

Oh, and the answer to the question, “What Is The Best Springsteen Album?” is “The live one.”

Flanders December 18, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=481227]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You’re doing it in the wrong order. Pee first, throw the pizza in the oven second, THEN begin digging into wonkett.

Gorillionaire December 18, 2009 at 10:32 am

Guess I am the only Ghost of Tom Joad fan in the world. All Hollywood movies in my lifetime have sucked dirty penises.

Marlowe December 18, 2009 at 10:45 am

[re=481277]NJB[/re]: Darkness on the Edge of Town, as performed live back in 1978.

chaste everywhere December 18, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=481348]Neilist[/re]: Let Hopey play Benny, with Liebermensch as the slave.

Katydid December 18, 2009 at 10:54 am

[re=481270]TVarmy[/re]: Obligatory, “In the swamps of Jersey?”

I been pissed at Obama’s policies for awhile now, but that tux reminds me I’d still hit it repeatedly.

Katydid December 18, 2009 at 10:56 am

And how come every single president cold hates the vice? Except maybe not Clinton.

caieva December 18, 2009 at 10:59 am


dixiecrax December 18, 2009 at 11:07 am

There was a lot of fights. Between the blacks and whites. Ain’t nothing you could do, really.

hillarys_left_nut December 18, 2009 at 11:33 am

BO does look like a “The Wild, The Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle” elitist to whom Biden is trying to sell “Born To Run.” It’s exactly the “Yeah right” posture I adopt in such situations.

Holding Out for a Hero December 18, 2009 at 12:23 pm

[re=481394]Katydid[/re]: Me too. And that fact is what keeps me from completely going over the edge.

Joe the Biden as well.

SayItWithWookies December 18, 2009 at 12:25 pm

[re=481365]Flanders[/re]: Good advice. I almost died of the munchies last night.

lawrenceofthedesert December 18, 2009 at 1:07 pm

Obama is hoping now that the awards ceremony is over that Joe will stop pointing at him and saying, “You’re good, you’re very good!” and likewise quit looking at Nancy Pelosi and yelling, “Are you talkin’ to me?!?”

assistant/atlas December 18, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Hair plugs FAIL.

darwin December 18, 2009 at 6:06 pm

I don’t think President Obama likes Vice-President Biden very much.

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=481277]NJB[/re]: Yes, it makes you a depressive, but “that’s alright with me.”

[re=481279]Mr Blifil[/re]: I’m convinced President Flavor Flav is inevitable for our “reality” world, in which case P-Funk at the Kennedy Center is a lock. You’re welcome to be my date.

[re=481334]Schultz[/re]: Midnight Run has my favorite movie line of all time. DeNiro to Grodin: “I have just two words for you, ‘Shut the fuck up.’” Someone should say that to Lieberman.

[re=481387]Marlowe[/re]: Live Darkness on the Edge of Town. The greatest nights of my life, and I include my marriage in that.

aleks December 19, 2009 at 2:54 pm

I would not have voted for a man who wished Springsteen and DeNiro dead. I would have voted for Palin, who’d never heard of them.

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