Wonkette
One of Washington’s most transparently evil liars, Michael Goldfarb of the Weekly Standard, recently wrote that — according to a single anonymous “Senate aide” — Barack Obama and that DAMN RAHM have threatened to shut down Offutt Air Force Base in Nebraska, headquarters of the U.S. Strategic Command and one of the most important military installations in the country, if Ben Nelson does not vote for cloture on health care. This is 100% obviously not true on about ten million layers of reasoning, and we won’t patronize you by addressing any of it.
Suffice it to say that Ben Nelson and the White House have each said hundreds of times, “THIS IS THE LEAST TRUE THING OF ALL TIME AND IT’S OBVIOUS WHY REPUBLICAN OPERATIVES ARE SPREADING IT.” And now that it’s been fully refuted as laughably retarded, and Michael Goldfarb has been caught changing his story, it’s finally… worthy of round-the-clock Fox News coverage as fact and half of the Republican Senate caucus formally demanding hearings.
On Wednesday, Sen. Mike Johanns and 19 other Republican senators Wednesday called for a hearing into reports that the Obama administration used the future of Offutt Air Force Base as bargaining chip in the health care debate.
Nelson has repeatedly said the rumors are completely false. The White House has called them “absurd.”
A defense analyst said Wednesday that base closures simply don’t work that way. Even Johanns himself said he doesn’t believe the rumors.
“When Senator Nelson says it didn’t happen, I trust Senator Nelson. I have no reason not to trust him,” Johanns said.
It is true that Nelson is one of the last Democratic holdouts on the health care bill and that he has been in ongoing discussions with the White House. Conservative pundits have cited anonymous sources saying that the White House threatened to close Offutt, home of U.S. Strategic Command, if Nelson did not support the bill.
Johanns said the rumors have reached a level where people in Nebraska are wondering if they’re valid.
“It’s kind of taken on a life of its own and I think that is very unfortunate,” Johanns said. “So, my hope is that the White House will respond and say ‘This is not how we make these kinds of decisions.’”
So, whoever the fuck this “Mike Johanns” backbench loser is does not believe these stupid rumors at all — he has no evidence to support, and he trusts the people denying — but just in case they may somehow be true, we should maybe hold a SENATE HEARING. Because some wingnuts back home are “wondering it they’re valid.”
Twenty senators.
Beck Peddles Discredited Rumor To Claim The Obama Administration ‘Borders On Treason’ [Think Progress]
Harkin: Health Bill in Nelson’s Hands [AP]
Even so, the least Obama and Baucus could do would be to guarantee the American people that the President did not seek office just to have his pick of the white wimmins. WHY CAN’T THEY JUST SAY IT?
A “senate aide” told me that Michael Goldfarb sucks tons and tons of cock. He may try to deny that…
at least I can get back to the more comfortable feeling of TeaBaggers BLOWING my mind with lies. (past 24 hours have been progressivebaggers. Is moderate only spoken in snark?)
And if Obama really had nothing to hide he would let us see his longformbirthcertificate. When will the Senate investigate this?
Also Obama should call Leiberman and threaten to cancel all of Electric Boat’s contracts. We don’t need submarines and aircraft carriers and we need to make Joe squeal.
GOP: Grand Old Perjurors
Didn’t Nixon do just this sort of thing to Massachussetts after they were the only state not to go for him in the election?
While he’s at it, the president should deny that he’s a muslim and a Kenyan, too. You know. To ease everyone’s mind.
Fucking republican senators should all die in the same fire.
Mr Blifil: exactly.
What can we get for Guam?
elburrito: I heard that Michael Goldfarb raped and murdered a deer in 1990.
If he doesn’t have the hide, why won’t he deny it?
I’ve never seen any refutation of the possibility that Michael Goldfarb raped and murdered a young girl in 1990, either. Do we need hearings? Yes, I think we DO need hearings.
@Gopherit: I applaud your desire for efficiency.
If the Senate intends to investigate Michael Goldfarb of the Weekly Standard, it might be worth it.
I would like to know who this unnamed source is, and if he lives inside Mr. Goldfarb’s head. Or perhaps, in his anus.
Thank Jesus for wingnuts! These whackball rumors don’t start themselves!
actually, I would appreciate Obama more if he DID threaten Nelson like this!
Honey Bunches of Scrotes: Can we give Nebraska to Guam if they take Johanns?
Does everyone remember when Goldfart blogged for Trucknutz and because of it they won the presidential election!?
Being unable to prove that this didn’t happen, Obama clearly must have done it. Also, you can’t prove a negative, but since when has reality gotten in the way of crazy GOP wingnuts?
Gopherit: That’s not so nice for the fire.
Is Ben Nelson trying to sweep this rumor under his rug?
What I want to know is, why have Michaels Goldfarb and Johanns not yet addressed the rumors that they are shape-shifting Skrull aliens who are making up and spreading bullshit stories in order to destabilize the US government an leave Earth weak and easy to conquer? I have no reason not to trust them, but it has taken a life of its and that’s very unfortunate. Somebody better hold a hearing about this.
“When Senator Nelson says it didn’t happen, I trust Senator Nelson. I have no reason not to trust him,” Johanns said.
But that uppity nigra, well, we’ll have to have a Senate hearing, we don’t trust “that one”.
giantloser: You know who else tried to prove a negative?
But isn’t there some super strategic and vital submarine base in New Haven, Connecticut they could close instead? Wouldn’t that be so much more satisfying?
Way Cool Larry: Say, that’s a nice little Air Force Base ya got there. Yeah, real nice. I sure would hate to see anything happen to it. That would sure be a shame.
JMP: Oh, come on, that’s beyond believable. What I want to know is if all of this is an attempt on Goldfarb and Johanns’ part to distract from the underage male escort service they are running out of Joe Lieberman’s basement.
I personally don’t believe it, but given their party and ideological identification, I think we should have an investigation anyway.
WHEN WILL THESE OBAMAS RESPOND TO OUR RIDICULOUS ACCUSATIONS!?!
Fun to see the bouncing lies making their way through the echo chamber. Can they make the Senate another part of the echo chamber? Could they impeach Bill Clinton? Yes Yes and Yes. These are 20 very serious senators. Is poopy diaper one of them? H
If they don’t deny it, it must be true. That’s how we all reliably learned about Glenn Beck and that poor dead girl from the 1990s.
Why don’t they hold the Senate hearing and interview Michael Goldfarb first?
I hear from a single source that Michael Goldfarb is the man, from Santorum’s infamous “Man on Dog” speech.
I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO: I said I didn’t believe the rumor! I just wonder why they didn’t address it, and am concerned that it may become a problem.
I’ve also heard about the basement escort service, and the rumor that Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck were their top clients. They really should address this, because it’s getting out of control and we’ll have to keep asking them why haven’t yet denied it.
Offutt Air Force Base is more than your run of the mill base.
It was the HQ of the Strategic Air Command which was taken apart in 1992 and re-assembled as USSTRATCOM
It’s kind of a big deal and in Omaha for a reason: It’s centrally located. Remember, it’s where Bush ended up after 9/11.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Strategic_Command
You’d have to be one ignorant dumbfuck to think for one second that the Dems would just shutdown a base responsible for:
“space operations (such as military satellite), information operations (such as Information warfare), missile defense, global command and control, intelligence, surveillance, and reconnaissance (C4ISR), global strike and strategic deterrence (the United States nuclear arsenal), and combating weapons of mass destruction.”
just because of Ben Nelson.
The utter Bullshit that flows from the mouths of these jackasses is unbelievable.
I guess I can throw The Weekly Standard into the same outhouse that I throw World Nut Daily, Drudge and NewsMax.
Way Cool Larry: I was just going to say, that I am shocked some libtard hasn’t already demanded just such a thing on the Twatter already .
Jim89048: Huh, what? Earings? I suppose it’s possible the lettle girl could have been wearing earrings. Why won’t Michael Goldfarb explain how he came by these details?
Inhofe, Coburn, et al, must strictly adhere to their roles as “getters-at-truth-although-it’s-obvious-to-the-whole-fucking-world”. Curious, just damned curious about things is what I’d say about them.
Goldfrab has the story completely wrong. Barry’s gonna pimp out Offutt Air Force with bling and then transfer all the terrorists at Guatanamo there and let them run wild!!!
“FU Ben Nelson and the toothless woodchuck you rode in on” - Barry.
The Senate should investigate why Goldfart was seen in Union station at the same time Larry Craig was cruising the mens rooms for gay sex. If he wasn’t involved then he should come forth and deny it. I just heard this from an anonymous source but you know, I’m just sayin’. also.
Awfuck Air Force Base, Omigod Nebraska, has no real mission anymore. Closing it would hurt nothing. But a more appealing target is the Naval Submarine Base in New London, CT.
I heard Obama was going to make ice cream ILLEGAL if health care reform isn’t passed soon. That and corn-on-the-cob.
You know, though, it’s more likely Johanns just wants these fucking teabaggers to quit calling his office. We all know they’re sitting at home, collecting disability, cleaning their guns, with humongous bluetooth headsets attached to their ears frantically redialing their senators and representatives to complain about THESE MUSLIN OBAMAS. Can’t blame the guy really. Well, I do blame him because he’s a huge douchebag- but still…
To me, it looks like the mythical ‘insider’ was Rahmie the DINO lover/recruiter. Oreo-cookie in WH, personally I prefer Booooooooooshe to O-bought-ma, who will be a one-timer.
V572625694: You bring up a good point. We should offer to close both in negotiating with Russia on arms reduction. Think how much money the Government could save and reduce the debt.
[Cartman]I’m just asking questions.[/Cartman]
Offuck.
I’m just waiting with bated breath to see who FOX is going to fire for this blatantly factual error. Wait, I think I hear hoofbeats on the roof.
wonkettefan: Newell, it appears we have horseshit in our Wonkett.
I would like to see Obama give both Nelson and Lieberman the chance to prove that their nuts cannot protect an anvil from an 8-lb. maul.
And Goldfarb? Johanns? Pffft.
A Senate aide told me Michael Goldfarb has anal warts.
No wait, he said Michael Goldfarb *is* an anal wart. My mistake.
wonkettefan: O-bought-ma. Now THAT’S clever.
I’d be in favor of giving Nebraska to the Ayrabs, no questions asked.
wonkettefan: Glenn, is that you? Someone needs his meds now!
Looks like we need to put another nail in the coffin of the newsprint media, and enjoy our daily information jumpstart from Snopes.com
wonkettefan: I’d be worried about Obama’s chances for a second term meself, if it weren’t for the fact that the christards will be all divvied up in 2012 between the dim-witted snow queen, Hucklebee the guy who’s gone back to pies due to the stress of running for president, and the guy who thinks Jesus brought the golden tablets when he landed in miz-ZUR-ruh. That’ll keep the odds long for the republicans.
Oh, and fuck you.
wonkettefan: Look, Rich Liittle, your bits weren’t funny at that correspondence dinner, and they’re not funny now.
No see, go ahead and have the hearings. I am very much for these hearings. It’d be a hilarously awkward, quiet hour or so on CSPAN.
wonkettefan: The fact that we let Booooshe remain the the Oval Office, although it was admittedly somewhat semen spattered when he got there, is the collective sin that will bring America down. Palin/Pawlenty in 2012. The PP ticket and then le deluge.
Escape Goat Nation: You have to understand that a Rethug WOULD shut down such a base to punish some wayward Senator, so in Rethug world, it’s only logical that a Democrat would do the same thing.
Basically, Johanns was using “the google” the other night at his hotel room and he received a message from the front desk “All your Base are Belong to Us”.
Also, he had some concerns about a subsequent message “Somebody set up us the bomb”.
He explained that although he himself does not believe the allegation, Johanns feels the need to open a Senate enquiry “for great Justice!”
wonkettefan: To me it looks as though your considerable lack of intelligence is showing,scat,git, go on.
Politico later quoted him as directing his chief of staff to “Take off every ‘zig’”.
“Johanns said the rumors have reached a level where people in Nebraska are wondering if they’re valid.
I’m looking at the Lincoln newspaper and it hasn’t even been mentioned.
“It’s kind of taken on a life of its own and I think that is very unfortunate,” Johanns said. “So, my hope is that the White House will respond and say ‘This is not how we make these kinds of decisions.’”
Code for Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity have been telling their droolers that this is a fact and their lies have got out of hand.
If anything, this will backfire and only serve to strengthen the Democratic Party in a state where the GOP is already on the ropes.
betterDeadThanRed: Negotiate with them? Naw, give them away right up front to show your good intentions.
So why do you all keep evading the real question: is Goldfarb still beating his wife or not…?
The US should only have bases outside the US, preferably in temperate places with access to crystal clear water and golf. Cheap local domestic labor would also be nice. That’s what makes us exceptional, not like those dorky countries.
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