Needs a little Perez Hilton semen drip on the fat mouth, you think?Let’s check in with the Southerners, America’s old-fashioned obese bigots. Oh, here’s one: Bill James, proprietor of a shitty wingnut website (ACORN breaks the law! criminals are Negroid!) and county commissioner in some slave-holding part of South North Carolina. During an “emotional” debate over domestic-partner benefits, Commissioner Lady spoke sadly of her adult son’s death from AIDS, and then this fat fuck Bill James leans over and says, “Your son was a homo, really?”

And then he added, “Because I’ve sucked every available dick in the South and I don’t remember him.” Ha ha not really, Bill James just said he will never apologize because homo is just what you call fags, come on, just like everybody knows that the Negro Peoples “live in a moral sewer.” (He said that, too, on the record. Ha, racists!) [Charlotte Observer via Wonkette Operative “Jacob S.”]

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  1. This is my favorite part of the article:

    Public reaction to James’ comment was mixed Wednesday, with some people praising what he said and others saying he shouldn’t have spoken ill of another colleague’s son.

    It’s not enough to say “well, I think people are perhaps making too much out of it, he probably wasn’t trying to offend her,” no, they actually have to find people who are like “yeah! He was right to call that lady’s dead gay son a homo!”

  2. On The Observer’s site voting question, “Should he apologize for his asshat remark,” 32% say no he shouldn’t, which, oddly enough, is the same percentage of people who thought Bush did a fine job as Preznit.

  3. “Leake responded: ‘You’re going to make me hurt you. Don’t do that to me. Don’t talk about my son.'”

    This lady shoulda gone cold Oldboy on this fuckers little smirk.

  4. [re=480592]Dave J.[/re]: This is balanced journalism of the highest order. Some people think teh geys and Negroes should have human rights, and others don’t. Both viewpoints deserve equal treatment! And okay, it was wrong to speak ill of a colleague’s son. But if it had been some random cocksucker off the street: have at it!

  5. The line, “what are you, a homo?”, was delivered superbly by Gilbert Gottfried on the Howard Stern Show years ago, when Gilbert was doing an imitation of Andrew Dice Clay.

  6. [re=480600]SmutBoffin[/re]: I would say. Beating rival politicians into a bloody pulp is a celebrated and time-honored tradition in South Carolina. Take advantage of it, Leake!

  7. meatmenrule wrote on 12/17/2009 01:22:08 PM:

    Let it go for goodness sake! He didn’t call the dead man a “fa**ot” , “queer” or “fudgepa**er”.

    H0m0 used to be an acceptable word…what has happened, what have we become when you can’t say a word about ANYTHING WITHOUT OFFENDING SOMEBODY???

    The voice of reason there, courtesy of the extremely heterosexual, uh, meatmenrule…

  8. There was not one, not two, but three Smokey and the Bandit movies showing you Yanks just what the South turns into when unsupervised by federal troops or outside the realm of narrowly defined federal court orders. Won’t you ever learn?

  9. I clicked the ‘family tree’ link on Fatty’s site and it doesn’t fork…wokka wokka. Anyways, his son is sporting a very gay uniform from some gay military group where obviously the under-cover buttsecks is practiced after bible readings.

  10. [re=480614]El Pinche[/re]: Pink and…stained. With some unholy combination of barbecue sauce, huntin’-hound piss, and Republican intern emissions.

  11. [re=480607]Megathy[/re]: thank you. I demand a retraction from Ken. A public official from SC would never have called him a homo. He would have used fag.

  12. Instead of asking “what would Jesus do” in this situation, I think its time for momma to ask herself “what would Tony Soprano do” to this asshat.

    Baseball bat, meet kneecaps.

  13. Not that I want to claim this asshole-licking toilet hound, but the guy is a North Carolinian, whose style of bigotry is supposed to be a little more subtle than South Carolina’s Yosemite Sam rootin-tootin-shootin brand of it.

  14. [re=480592]Dave J.[/re]: Right, and the mixed reaction ranged from “homo got what he deserved” to “the homo probably got what he deserved but don’t speak ill of the dead.” Fucking South Carolina needs to be purged.

  15. My father-in-law lives in Charlotte and says the Observer is “too liberal” a newspaper for him, and he will probably use this article as an example of their left wing commie marxist tree hugging atheist bias, the “fact” that they are trying to make this guy look bad “just because he is a Republican”.

  16. [re=480635]misanthropomorphic[/re]: I would also like to know what’s wrong with a little assplay? If having your asshole licked makes you a bigot…

  17. Did anyone else see the insanely disturbing email response from the fat pasty fuck? It’s posted in the comments section by a “RONNGARROW.”

  18. Talk about burying the lede — the real story here is that seven counties in North Carolina extend benefits to same-sex partners of employees. Who knew Real America was so elitist?

  19. Oh yeah, North Carolina is soooooooo much more enlightened than South Carolina. It’s almost as obvious as the North Dakota /South Dakota schism.

  20. So, Schumer (D) calls some waitress in the sky a bitch, and it’s all over the stupid “news”, I’ll hold my breath to see when this is reported.

  21. I am beginning to understand these guys…’s okay to call someone a homo the same way it’s okay to call a county commissioner and just about every god-fearing xtian resident of the carolinas an inbred, shit-kicking, racists,redneck-cracker-ass-cracker.

  22. Something is queer about this story. It should have been obvious to Commissioner Lady that he meant no offense when he didn’t call her son a fag. Maybe her son was a drug abuser, which is far more respectable than being a gay.

  23. [re=480651]SayItWithWookies[/re]: They won’t be truly looking after the needs of their constituents until they give the same benefits to farm animal companions, too.

  24. Yikes, this is a representative writing sample from this guy’s site.

    “In 1948, the group of folks were white southern ‘cracker’ Democrats passing over a more qualified Black candidate to select the ‘good ol boy’ white bubba.

    In 2007, the group of folks was Black inner-city Democrats, passing over the only qualified candidate because he was white to select the Black dude.

    Both are examples of Racism.”

  25. I did like the mother’s response” “I’m not sure he understands what it means, because his values are so different from the rest of society.” Nice, subtle way of calling the guy a moran.

    Of course the comments are filled with idiots defending the asshole – including one who thinks Lawrence v Texas doesn’t apply to N. Carolina.

  26. At least North Carolina gave the world John Coltrane, and Thelonius Monk. South Carolina gave us James Brown. And Andy Dick. And Ben Bernacke.

  27. [re=480646]Ken Layne[/re]: thank you for the quick (although not very sincere) correction. But to be fair, facts are facts. If I wanted “facts” I could go to

  28. [re=480659]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The comments there are mind boggling:

    Replying to Zon (12/17/2009 01:14:07 PM):
    “Not so, I’m only intolerant of intolerance. And I probably attend a Christian church more often than you do. Hatred and bigotry are not Christian values.”:
    I was going to respond, but it’s only going in a circle. I defend a fellow poster who I feel you are maliciously attaching/attaching Christians. You label us hateful names – all the while saying we’re hateful. Your pretty pathetic…but I still forgive you.

    He also says he’s forgiving because he’s a Christian, but his god isn’t. WTF?

  29. He just asked a question. So he was wearing a double layer neoprene wetsuit when he asked it. It was ONLY A QUESTION!! Alls he wanted to know was if her son was buried or cremated. Because for a necrophile, it’s not as much fun to break into a person’s home and attempt to fuck an urn full of ashes.

  30. If anyone wants to try and do an ambush interview (you know, like Chris Hanson Motherfucker the third), I would suggest heading over to the Old Country Buffet where you will likely find Bill James or James Bill or Billie fucks Jamey or whatever piling his plate with mac and cheese and mash taters.

  31. And once again I find myself wishing the South would have actually won back in the 1800’s. How wonderful that would have been to need a damn passport to travel to these places.

  32. ah, but it gets better….

    Commissioner Bill James wrote the following in response to calls for him to apologize after a confrontation wtih Commissioner Vilma Leake, during which he said, “Your son was a homo?”

    Vilma is a religious hypocrite.

    She was married to a Bishop in the AME Zion church. This church has historically opposed homosexuality.

    In justifying her position last night in public she used her son’s ‘lifestyle’ and his death from HIV-AIDS to justify voting for benefits to allow individuals to use tax dollars to engage in the same behavior that resulted in her son’s death.

    It is akin to someone whose son is an alcoholic and died from the disease, using his death from drinking as justification to have the taxpayers pay for more booze.

    Her position was that her ‘faith’ demanded that she do this to support her son and his ‘lifestyle’ which she acknowledges killed him.

    In doing so, it is legitimate to ask her what ‘lifestyle’ and in particular whether her son was a homosexual. Her response was to threaten me with physical violence (typical for her). Of course, this isn’t the first time she has threatened elected officials. On the School Board she had a long and checkered history threatening to harm those she disagrees with.

    Leake: “Don’t make me hurt you. Don’t do that to me. Don’t talk to me about my son.”

    Well, if she didn’t want to make her ‘son’ an issue – why did she use him, his lifestyle and his tragic self-inflicted death from AIDS as the reason for her vote?

  33. And one more thing, I’d advise Bill to go ahead and start buying the shirts with a larger neck size. It’s time. Your quintuple chin might not bunch up like that if you do.

  34. [re=480691]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: There are one or to black folks who might disagree with you on that point. Details details.

  35. [re=480694]President X[/re]: ah, but it gets better….

    Of course it does. Because the first rule of being a blowhard douchebag is that one asshat comment is never ever enough.

  36. [re=480694]President X[/re]: In justifying her position last night in public she used her son’s ‘lifestyle’ and his death from HIV-AIDS to justify voting for benefits to allow individuals to use tax dollars to engage in the same behavior that resulted in her son’s death.

    I like this logic. That means we never need to provide for dysentery and parasite treatment for missionaries who go off to live in the developing world.

  37. [re=480715]proudgrampa[/re]: And they kept the house nice and tidy…..except for the odd mouldering corpse. Didn’t they wonder why she never ate dinner?

  38. [re=480685]Gopherit[/re]: We’re not all that way, I promise! (The story you posted, they believe the family members were taking care of her and didn’t report her dead so they could keep collecting and cashing her checks – the woman’s daughter was already arrested. So not more heartless than stupid.)

    Though “I don’t determine what I do based on what people think.” is not really what I want to hear from my county commissioners, elected to act based on what the constituents (i.e., other people) think…

  39. [re=480670]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: I’m going to gaycott “Connect-I-Cut” on the basis of its contradictory name alone.

    [re=480705]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Goin’ up to the waitress in the sky, that’s where I’m gonna go when I die.

    (Is a “sky mattress” similar to an “air mattress”? I mean, they do both involve blowing…)

  40. [re=480659]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Thanks, I needed that. Great expressions on James’s fellow commissioners.

    Also good for a laugh is The Faster Times’ “Democrats, It’s Time To Drive the Family Truckster Off the Lot” analogy.

    Now excuse me, I need to go cry some more.

  41. [re=480694]President X[/re]: Thanks, but you left out the tag line at the end of Billy “I-aint- hatin’-no-pole-swallarers” James’ opinion piece:
    “Comments have been turned off for this article.”

    Why does Bill James hate our First Amendment, the cocksucker.

  42. [re=480740]Gopherit[/re]: Thanks man!

    Though Ken’s right – North Carolina is like two different countries. You have the greater Raleigh area (Durham/Chapel Hill/Raleigh’s 11 or so suburbs) and, I’d like to think, the Wilmington area (other than the occasional creepy greedy people, Wilmington’s not bad, thanks to the University, the large film industry, the beaches – all the Northern vacationers and ghey movie people scared the rednecks away for the most part, and we even have the state’s only openly gay representative! But I digress).
    Anyway, other than those pockets, NC is VERY poor, uneducated and afraid of change. The difference is disconcerting at times – you almost need a passport on road trips (not to mention a translator for the ridiculous accents).

  43. Gosh, imagine if James and his fellow repubes were content with their lives and felt confident about their sexuality . . . what would we get to point at and laugh about then?

  44. Nigerian Business Executive: Good point. Allow me to adjust my fantasy. FIRST we evacuate and free all slaves and THEN we let the South “win” and by “win” I mean establish their fucked up country called Jesusland where everyone pretends to be morally righteous but in every basement there is locked up the flipper baby lovechildren generation spawned from unmentionable incestuous acts.

  45. Imagine this conversation…
    Palin- My baby has Down Syndrome and I didn’t have an abortion…
    Biden- Your kid’s a retard?
    Palin- Don’t call him that!
    Biden- What? You don’t what me talk about your kid don’t bring him up…but while we’re the subject, abortion does reduce the number of retard babies.

  46. I’m almost proud, we hit the bigtime gettin on the Wonkette show. Y’all shoulda been spectatin’ when Angels in America got gubbmint money from Meck County. Hooo johnny.

  47. I’ll give ten-to-one odds that James flies regularly to the Minneapolis airport just to try out the stalls. Which reminds me, I still need to order the gold plaque for Larry Craig and go super-glue it to one of the stalls out there. … So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

  48. [re=480611]emberglance[/re]: Oh, I know, the comments on that Observer article are mind-boggling. The one to look for is some guy named “dnaleixid” (whose avatar makes him look like Charles Manson minus Manson’s fiery intensity or personal hygiene), who regularly trolls the every article about teh ghey.

    And every letter/e-mail the commenters are posting from James makes him look like an even bigger asshole. viz.:

    (some random guy writes):I sent him an email saying how distasetful and ignorant his comments were…..also saying I thought Charlotte was a progressive city…this was his reply to me…I have actually copied his email…..

    Progressive? Where did you get that idea?
    Homosexual conduct is illegal in NC (even after Lawrence V Texas).
    We arrest 250 homosexuals each year in Mecklenburg alone for either a “crime against nature” or “solicitation of a crime against nature”….

    etc etc.

    Just precious.
    (I fixed up the Observer’s shitty formatting and the poster’s typos)

  49. On her own, my daughter decided she would not go to school in the South because of the rampant bigotry(also inbreeding- ok, that one is mine). Now I know not everyone in the South is a bigot but it seems like a lot of their elected officials are- and also dumb.

  50. [re=480800]takes12no1[/re]: It’s a rough playground. Welcome and good luck.

    Also. This removes any vestige of guilt I may have felt (which, if I did, was so slight that I didn’t)at laughing at Oral Roberts’ death, and might possibly feel in future (but now I won’t) when Rupert Murdoch, George W. Bush, and this cocksucker Bill James kick the bucket.
    May it be soon.

  51. [re=480837]finallyhappy[/re]: The thing about the south is that, yes, not everyone is dumb and bigoted and inbred… but a fair amount are. You get pockets of relatively metropolitan areas that are not at all like that – and then huge expanses of rural, redneck, backwards areas where they are, and then some. If you look at municipal governments in the pockets of civilization, they’re not bad. When you go to the rural areas, well… and sometimes, even in one county, you can have really civilized areas and really, well, not-civilized areas.

    Unfortunately, the dumb second-cousin horse fuckers (at least THAT ONE was in South Carolina!) vote too. And damn there are a lot of them.

  52. I live in NC, not in the Raleigh area but in the foothills, and I can assure that some areas are becoming more progressive. “Becoming” is very important part of that sentence though. Change is slow but it it’s coming, we’ve gone from a solid red to a possible swing state.

    I would also like to remind everyone here that dumbfuckery is not geographical. I’ve met plenty of racist assholes from northern states too.

  53. [re=480640]Gorillionaire[/re]: I think I read some of your father-in-law’s comments there. He probably was the one claiming that if a Liberal had said this, no one would mind, and it would receive no coverage at all.

    Or maybe he was the one claiming that Vilma Leake (mother of the dead young man) is clearly a “racist”, since she’s, like, black.

    This “THE BLACKS ARE ALL RACISTS!” Dumb Redneck meme is *so* bizarre. At least very few of them can spell “racist” yet (e.g. “rasist”, “racsist”, “rascist”, “racisist”, etc., very similar to the spellings they invent for Fascist.)

    I’m always amused/horrified by the fantasies these people have, all about the Mayhem and Destruction that will be wrought upon the Glorious White Race the moment the black and brown people get more power. I think it derives from their deep internal certainty that this kind of hatred and annihilation is what they, themselves, the crackers, actually deserve. I’m guessing they’re thinking “Paybacks are hell!”

    If only.

  54. [re=480869]Flight_Test[/re]: Agreed. Speaking as one who has often said that we’d all have been better off if Lincoln were a little bit more like Buchanan, one is forced to admit that Connecticut has its Lieberman, Minnesota has its Bachman, my native state of Iowa has Pappy Cornpants Grassley AND Steve King, Nebraska has Ben Nelson, Montana has Max Baucus, Alaska has Sarah Palin, Oklahoma has Inhofe, and let’s not even mention Utah, Idaho and Wyoming.
    Hell, half the country is retarded. More than half.

  55. North Carolina is kind of the Connecticut of the South. I sure wouldn’t let my child go to school in a state which spawned and educated George Bush and spawned, educated and elected Joseph Isadore Lieberman.

    Man, that Yale must be a fucked up place. You would think that a former Price Waterhouse and Arthur Andersen man like Bill James would have graduated from there instead of Broward Community College and Flordia Atlantic.

  56. If you guys wanted to do the whole secession thing again, I don’t think anyone would really mind up north here. Really, go ahead. We don’t mind.

  57. [re=480908]GayInMaine[/re]: So, how’d that gay marriage work thing work out in Maine? Wasn’t there some kind of vote? From what I heard, Maine voted the same way that Bill James would.

  58. You know, every time I forget enough of this sort of bullshit (just one example: in my home town they filled the one public swimming pool with concrete and turned it into a parking lot, back in ’61 or ’62, the spring after the court order requiring its integration; they JUST got around to building a public pool a few years ago, you know, just the 40+ years later) to allow myself to THINK about moving back home (VA, not NC, but still), the Good Lord sends an unlikely angel, like this dumb-ass cracker, (bless his cracker-ass heart), as a way of telling me, look, pal, you night want to give it another 20 years or so, you hear?

    So, you know, thanks Big Guy, that’s a big 10-4, message received loud and clear…

  59. Lest I forget, look hard enough and you’ll see that El Gordo’s photo went through the tinting process used to turn B/W shots into color. Except for this “colorization” technique, no one gets perfectly uniform, pale ‘flesh tone’ except at a mortician’s.

    His skin actually a brilliant fuschia. His lips are a deliecious cherry red.

    His hair? Hmmm.

  60. Someone has to say it. This is not the Bill James who does that great work with baseball statistics. So don’t go switching to soccer because of this nimrod. I think his game is pocket pool.

  61. That just slipped out.

    He was really thinking to himself, “Shit I didn’t realize that kid had AIDS, shoulda made him use a rubber!”

  62. Ha! North Carolina. Left there in ’79 and never looked back. Buncha damn hillbillies with little dick minds and pussy ass smart mouths. Of course California has those, too. Damn. Will I ever learn?

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