A Decade of Blingees: 2007-2009

  art history dept.

Muslim v. JewKen Layne: Hello former colleague, may I briefly interview you in Real Time about the most significant political development of the decade, the Blingee?
Alex Pareene: YES of course.
KL: Hooray! Okay now I will make up these questions. Umm … let’s see, you first discovered the Blingee, is that right? And when was that, maybe ’07?
The Passion of St. Andrew at the Subway, James Newell, 2008
Pareene: I am going back into my extensive GChat archives and it looks like I first began annoying all of my friends with Blingees back in June of 2007
KL: hahahah, “the summer of love”
One of about a thousand Wonkette Reader Entries for this particular Blingee contest ....
KL: Before this discovery, it seems the Blingee was pretty much limited to fat single teen moms putting hip-hop regalia on their bastard infants, is that about right?
Pareene: yes it was basically giving baby maddysynne a cartoon glock, and maybe adding some glitter hearts to your 3/4 profile myspace picture
The Devil will see you now.
KL: and we ruined it all, for politics
Pareene: hah, yes
Pareene: it was a fine example of found internet art and now it is whatever it is, i guess peggy noonan’s official portrait, forever
KL: it seems like something we shouldn’t talk about too much, to avoid some kind of “douglas rushkoff bemoaning the commercialization of lolcats” or some such horseshit, but is there a kind of magical story that just NEEDS the blingee?
(and yes, Peggy Noonan doesn’t even EXIST anymore, outside of that blingee)
KL: also as a last question before i try to toast up some soggy deli-tray leftover xmas party sandwiches for lunch, WHAT IS YR FAVORITE/THE GREATEST BLINGEE (of the decade)
KL: and this is, really, the only appropriate answer: total silence
Pareene: haa
sorry i was trying to find the actual blingees i invented, in 2007, and honestly who can actually navigate blog archives they are basically useless
KL: yeah the whole Information Architecture leaves a little to be desired, esp. when you have editors who aggressively “tag” things in useless fucking ways
i bet gawker.com does not let you do THAT anymore
KL: (you probably also still get paid regularly)
Peggy's World.Pareene: those were the days when we were making everything a Mad Magazine style “dept.,” because who would ever need to actually try to find something mean written about drunk prep school retards on a message board posted on an ostensible Political Blog, ever again? but yes — the peggy noonan blingee is our generation’s finest achievement, basically.
KL: it’s so sincere! i cannot remember which one of us made that one
KL: basically wonkette was exactly like Andy Warhol’s “Factory” then, in 2007
Goodbye Tony Blair, no one ever, liked you at all ....Pareene: Ah, look, I found one, and so this is my favorite. http://wonkette.com/272751/farewell-tony-blair
KL: oh jesus that is horrifying, i had forgotten it. what a scouch
Pareene: Blingee.com is a hundred percent more revolutionary and important than Twitter, basically. Decade internet things wise, i would rank it number two, between Google Wave and racism.
KL: you can expect a reasoned rebuttal from anil dash, for that!
ok i am going to post this, and some blingees. it’s my “year ender” decade post, for today
The next president of the United States of America ...
KL: i am kind of sad about still writing for an (ex)Gawker blog as the new decade begins. fucking blogs are so 2004
Pareene: Hah. I should probably write some lists for my Gawker blog, too.
KL: yr supposed to do one for The Awl, too (for free). i did one and it is kind of an unintentional ripoff of yr true/slant gimmick, which i guess you’ve abandoned?
allright i’m going to eat, happy xmas!
Pareene: Merry Christmas, i think i shall compose a list called DECADE OF FURRIES http://wonkette.com/241563/cpac-in-review

Diggity
The Tiger Woods of his time.

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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