OH WE'RE SO THERE  6:39 pm December 16, 2009

Freaking John Birch Society To Co-Sponsor CPAC 2010

by Jim Newell

Meanwhile, in the latest conservative news, the Republican mainstream continues to slide into ultra-nationalistic militaristic paranoia and championed white supremacy along the normal trajectory: the actual John Birch Society — the comically radical conservative organization of racists and psychotic libertarians who pretended to fight domestic commies, 50 years ago — has of course been named a cosponsor of next year’s CPAC, the conservatives’ important annual mid-week terrorfest at which delegations of the nation’s top barely-functioning insane wingnuts decide who gets to run for what job.

The Birchers are most famous for being the group that William F. Buckley angrily condemned in 1964, giving the nascent American conservative movement its first taste of mainstream legitimacy, or however they phrase it these days.

But Buckley’s dead now, and the supposedly “re-branded” Birchers are sponsoring CPAC, so maybe 2012 will finally be Pat Buchanan’s year? Hmm?

The John Birch Society to Co-Sponsor CPAC [Washington Independent via Gawker]

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plowman December 16, 2009 at 6:44 pm

So why not get the hell out of the U.N.!?

bfstevie December 16, 2009 at 6:46 pm

Birchers and birthers and Rush, Oh My!

Toto, we are in Kansas now.

memzilla December 16, 2009 at 6:47 pm

Yes, rebranded: “Teabaggin’ It Old Skool.” You know, for that Michael Steele-y hip-hop relevance.

Darkness December 16, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Why don’t these people just move to downtown Detroit? I here it’s nearly the libertarian paradise of Somalia.

user-of-owls December 16, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Don’t birches grow from ACORNS?

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2009 at 6:55 pm

I can’t wait for the Joe McCarthy Memorial Prayer Circle Jerk.

102415 December 16, 2009 at 6:57 pm

[re=480022]Darkness[/re]: Because they are more afraid of dark people than Communists or fluoride or IQ tests. Look it up sheeple. They still want to impeach Earl Warren. In short they will never set foot in Detroit until they are sure the last human has left.

Fox n Fiends December 16, 2009 at 6:58 pm

Birch was born in Landour, India. Didn’t they bother to look at HIS birth certificate?

jnrPhD December 16, 2009 at 7:00 pm

Now Eisenhower, he’s a Russian spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there’s just one man
That’s really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.

Scandalabra December 16, 2009 at 7:01 pm

CPAC’s theme next year is obviously “Rockin’ With the Oldies”. Is Anita Bryant still available?

Texan Bulldoggette December 16, 2009 at 7:02 pm

Sounds like Snowbilly will fit right in since I expect she will headline the event!

Darkness December 16, 2009 at 7:03 pm

[re=480031]102415[/re]: What, it’s not true that all you need more and bigger guns and nothing else matters? I am sadly disappointed to hear they don’t believe their own propaganda is true. Is nothing sacred?!

Jim89048 December 16, 2009 at 7:09 pm

[re=480039]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Hell, she just might be a member!

chascates December 16, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Ann Coulter will probably be there. She’s a big Joe McCarthy fan. Anorexia in the defense of wingnuttery is no vice.

Toomush Infermashun December 16, 2009 at 7:18 pm

I remember these guys. They were recruiting on campus in 1968. I fell down laughing at their ties….so did a couple of other draft dodgers…

Mr Blifil December 16, 2009 at 7:19 pm

JBS? Jesus’ Butt Sailors?

AngryBlakGuy December 16, 2009 at 7:22 pm

…I cant wait for the horribly misspelled signs and tacky head wear!

doxastic December 16, 2009 at 7:23 pm

I see that the “incoherent jumble of complaints + poor visual design” conservative style has been going strong for 60+ years now.

coolcatdaddy December 16, 2009 at 7:29 pm

I heard the Whig party is making a comeback as well.

Since retro is so trendy, why doesn’t Obama start up the WPA and the CCC again?

Paul Tardy December 16, 2009 at 7:31 pm

As many JBS members realize, true conservative leaders are hard to find nowadays, especially in a movement dominated by neoconservatives and RINOs (Republican In Name Only). [Looks like there might be fireworks, woo hoo]


Servo December 16, 2009 at 7:35 pm

This will be interesting. The unapologetic punk of the house jumping for the throne. G’head. I’ll enjoy watching your inevitable collapse from all the infighting.

give us a bob December 16, 2009 at 7:42 pm

What astounds me is the remarkably flattering credit that folks like the John Birch Society gave the Soviets, making claims like Eisenhower was a “dedicated, conscious agent of the Communist conspiracy.” Evidently, Commies are supremely intelligent, astoundingly competent, and somehow capable of running, either directly or by proxy, both of the world’s superpowers at once.

Which is why Commies are dirty, pinko, filthy liars, the scum of the Earth. They’re just too smart and competent. Can’t have smart and competent people, downright un-American.

Hooray For Anything December 16, 2009 at 7:46 pm

Will this mean the Republicans will make an issue out of standing up to Big Fluoride in the 2010 election?

imissopus December 16, 2009 at 7:49 pm

Jesus Jumped Up Christ. Will Phyllis Schlafly be giving the keynote?

MGBYG December 16, 2009 at 7:54 pm

[re=480067]give us a bob[/re]: There is a vast range of people who can hold two (or more) conflicting ideas in their minds.

The qualifier is that the intelligent are aware they are doing it.

Jukesgrrl December 16, 2009 at 8:17 pm

I can’t wait until they start advertising for dates on Craig’s List. What kind of post-conference entertainment do you suppose these Birchers seek? Anyone want to venture a guess? (“Overly white teeth need not apply”?)

skutre December 16, 2009 at 8:35 pm

I went to their website, and that’s a cleaned up version of the JBS. They used to be all about breaking the stranglehold of teh wurldwied Jewiss Banky Conspirusee

Servo December 16, 2009 at 8:48 pm

My guess is Doug Hoffman with a Saint Bernard and a jar of Skippy.

free December 16, 2009 at 9:00 pm

They are advancing to the rear. Have they yet to figure out that the DEMS don’t need any help at all if the REPS are hell bent to drive the bus into the ditch on their own????????

JEBUS Stoned to Bejebus, are they full of themselves.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 16, 2009 at 9:30 pm

Oh, someone’s gonna get fired. They clearly forgot the swastika on the little flyer thingie.

EelPout December 16, 2009 at 9:44 pm

Oh, we’re meetin’ at the courthouse at eight o’clock tonight
You just walk in the door and take the first turn to the right
Be careful when you get there, we hate to be bereft
But we’re taking down the names of everybody turning left

Oh, we’re the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society
Here to save our country from a Communistic plot
Join the John Birch Society, help us fill the ranks
To get this movement started we need lots of tools and cranks

We’ll teach you how to spot ‘em in the cities or the sticks
For even Jasper Junction is just full of Bolsheviks
The CIA’s subversive and so’s the FCC
There’s no one left but thee and we – and we’re not sure of thee

Oh, we’re the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society
Here to save our country from a communistic plot
Join the John Birch Society holding off the Reds
We’ll use our hand and hearts and if we must we’ll use our heads

– Chad Mitchell Trio, “The John Birch Society”, from 1962

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 16, 2009 at 9:51 pm

[re=480153]EelPout[/re]: Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song. Or was it Green Acres? Bah, same thing.

DC Hates Me December 16, 2009 at 10:06 pm

‘Decomposers’ are part of the food chain that feed on dead things. They include bacteria and fungi such as mold, yeast, and the John Birch Society.

glamourdammerung December 16, 2009 at 10:18 pm

[re=480037]Scandalabra[/re]: Bryant is living in semi-poverty last time I checked, so it should be the perfect gig for her.

Hedley Lamar December 16, 2009 at 10:30 pm

[re=480071]Hooray For Anything[/re]: You made me laugh for the first time today. Thanks.

What Fresh Hell is This? December 16, 2009 at 10:33 pm

My first two years of college were at Mercer University, where the real John Birch went to college. They were pretty appalled by him. He was a certifiable, but interesting, whacko who left a trail of destruction everywhere he went:

Long Form Def Certificate December 16, 2009 at 11:13 pm

My boys! Robert Welch, Sr. — Ripon College will never forget you. You’re the best we ever had.

Hunger Tallest Palin December 16, 2009 at 11:28 pm

In Soviet Union, John Birch Society Join You!

Neilist December 17, 2009 at 12:08 am

Recognizing that this will confirm everything everyone in here thinks about me:

I actually attended, as a kid, a JBS meeting. My father got invited by the guy who lived across the street. The latter was a former L.A. Rams player, and had a GREAT gun collection.

The JBS meeting featured a movie. My memory has dimmed after all these years. But I think it was about “Godless Communist Jews Destroying The American Way Of Life.”

I don’t think it featured Joe Lieberman. But again, the memories have faded.

ShiningMathPath December 17, 2009 at 12:55 am

[re=480213]Neilist[/re]: stop, yer makin’ me nostalgic for the bad old days… *sniff*

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2009 at 1:06 am

[re=480115]Servo[/re]: Doug Hoffman DOES spring to mind when you think “fear of fluoride.”

LowerdPeninsula December 17, 2009 at 6:20 am

[re=480213]Neilist[/re]: “Recognizing that this will confirm everything everyone in here thinks about me”

Yes; yes it did.

So, the CPAC is going to be sponsored by The Conspiracy Theory Society? Seems appropriate enough for my ears. I mean, with us electing our first honest to goodness Muslin Commie president, and all, this would be simply capturing the societal zeitgeist. Now, all they need is some sponsorship by the LaRouchies and the imminent collapse of the GOP will have been completed…

El Pinche December 17, 2009 at 9:05 am

MR SQUIGGLES WAS AN INSIDE JOB! Who do you think put the t0x ic p01s 0n in Mr. Squiggles????1!! Don’t tread on me.

ernie1242 December 17, 2009 at 10:27 am

Just FYI — the JBS is not, as you claim, an organization composed of “racists”. In fact, a JBS member (Rev. Delmar Dennis) infiltrated the KKK in Mississippi for the FBI and Dennis was in large measure responsible for the conviction of several KKK members. Subsequently, he became an employee and speaker for the JBS — and he travelled the country giving speeches about the danger posed by the KKK (i.e. real racists).

In addition many prominent JBS members, authors, and speakers have been African-American or Mexican or other minorities — including, for example, such prominent conservative writers as George S. Schuyler and the former senior editor of the JBS magazine, William N. Grigg.

One of the reasons why the JBS successfully deflects criticisms is because critics (like yourself) maliciously defame the JBS with charges of “racism” — when it can so easily be demonstrated that is NOT accurate and truthful. While the JBS has never been able to attract large numbers of minorities to its ranks (probably because of false characterizations appearing in the media or on websites such as yours) — nevertheless, it has always had several hundred members of various minority backgrounds — and it immediately expels anyone who attempts to use the Society to espouse racist bigotry of any kind.

For a FACT-based analysis of the JBS which explains why the JBS SHOULD BE rejected — see my report which is based upon first-time-released FBI files and documents. J. Edgar Hoover and senior FBI officials concluded (just like William F. Buckley Jr.) that the JBS was inept and “extremist”, “irrational” and “irresponsible” in its interpretations.

My report may be seen here:


Links to my other reports on the extreme right may be seen at bottom of this webpage:

grendel December 17, 2009 at 10:40 am

The Birchers were founded by Fred Koch, father of David and Charles Koch who founded the Cato Institute, the Heritage Foundation, etc. Yay for keeping the rightwing nuttery in the family!


What Fresh Hell is This? December 17, 2009 at 11:48 am

“None Dare Call it Treason!”

Now there was a page-turner about the Soviet Union’s ultimate victory. There must have been 5 million copies printed.

Elephants Gerald December 17, 2009 at 12:14 pm

[re=480348]ernie1242[/re]: You’re right, of course. Racism is too modern for JBS.

germansteel December 17, 2009 at 12:28 pm

1950′s John Birch Society = 2009 Teabaggers/2009 John Birch Society = Republican Party then and now. Proof positive of the bankruptcy of evolutionary theory.

LowerdPeninsula December 18, 2009 at 2:56 am

[re=480516]Elephants Gerald[/re]: JBS 2009: Don’t Call us Racist; Call us Crazy.

Thanks, ernie, for clearing up that the JBS is only crazy and not racist. Oh, if you didn’t know, I was being sarcasitc as all kinds of hell.

ernie1242 December 18, 2009 at 4:55 pm

There are many valid reasons to reject JBS interpretations but it might also be noted that if the JBS perspective was the prevailing one in our country — we never would have gone to war in Iraq and we never would have the Constitutionally dubious provisions of the Patriot Act nor would waterboarding have been euphemized or trivialized as anything other than what it is — i.e. torture.

ernie1242 December 18, 2009 at 4:59 pm

I’ve never seen anything to confirm that Fred Koch’s sons have financially supported the Birch Society or even that they have endorsed the JBS. Fred Koch was always a marginal figure within the JBS and was rarely even mentioned in JBS literature and he doesn’t seem to have initiated much correspondence with other JBS National Council members. Basically, a non-entity as far as support of the JBS is concerned.

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