REAL PROGRESSIVES  5:19 pm December 16, 2009

Bernie Sanders Yells At Mean Old Tom Coburn

by Jim Newell

Harry Reid allowed friendly old Vermont socialist senator Bernie Sanders to bring his 700+ page single-payer establishing health care amendment to the floor today for a symbolic vote, hooray. But then C-Street cumbucket Tom Coburn decided to waste more taxpayer money by forcing a page to read the entire bill aloud, word-for-word, a process that would have taken more than a dozen hours. Bernie allowed this jackassery to go on for a little while before removing his amendment and instead delivering a RADICAL FIERY STEMWINDER OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, part of which you can watch in the clip above.

Of course, Bernie’s creation of this amendment and impressive, passionate speech on its merits was not good enough to satisfy the terrifyingly self-important (but growing) mafia headquartered at the Fire Dog Lake blog, one of whose writers has managed to title a post, “Bernie Sanders is a coward.”

12 hours is enough to kill this bill? If only we progressives knew that we could have made that our strategy to kill it!

Sanders talks a great game, but he has never once acted as a true progressive should. He could single handedly pull a Lieberman and block this bill.

Will he? Of course not, in the end he’s just a party man like Lieberman.

He is not a REAL PROGRESSIVE like us. We the pseudonymous bloggers invented the word PROGRESSIVE and will not allow this “other Joe Lieberman” guy to use the adjective or noun PROGRESSIVE. PROGRESSIVE PROGRESSIVE PROGRESSIVE.

If Bernie Sanders was in any way at all PROGRESSIVE he would have “pushed harder” to make sure a PROGRESSIVE single-payer system was voted into law and enacted today. THAT IS ALL THAT WE THE PROGRESSIVES SHALL ACCEPT. Bernie Sanders is not PROGRESSIVE so much as he is BILL KRISTOL AND HITLER COMBINED. Sure, when he was mayor of Burlington he may have made it the first American city to establish a government-funded community land trust for housing, but that is not PROGRESSIVE and he is the MOST CONSERVATIVE SENATOR IN THE HISTORY OF POLITICS, as proven today, when he decided not to force those little pages to read legislative language for an entire legislative day immediately before Holiday Recess.

[YouTube]

 

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{ 73 comments }

AggieDemocrat December 16, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Was Coburn assfucking said page whilst the amendment was being read? Because if not, that’s a serious breach of Senate decorum.

loquaciousmusic December 16, 2009 at 5:25 pm

I fucking hate “progressives.” They need to sit down and shut up, RIGHT NOW, so we can get this shit done.

pampl December 16, 2009 at 5:28 pm

No one can single-handedly pull a Lieberman. It takes at least two hands to be that much of a jerk-off.

Joshua Norton December 16, 2009 at 5:29 pm

What Sanders has to do is come back with a one-page amendment.

KISS

ManchuCandidate December 16, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Like the $100 Bajillion US Americuh HC industry was going to let “Single Payer” go through and destroy their golden calf without putting up a fight.

AggieDemocrat December 16, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=479949]Joshua Norton[/re]: He’s going to, and I have the advance text. Here it is:

“What Britain said.”

V572625694 December 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Bernie Sanders, an admitted socialist, says Ben Bernanke isn’t doing a good job. For some reason this is not enormous news.

Way Cool Larry December 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm

After listening to the speech, I was gonna say we could use 99 more Bernie Sanders, but now thgat I read that he is not a real progressive so I am very confused, also

JMP December 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Yes, yes; much better to go along with the failed status quo than accept reform that’s not as good as it should be, but still existent.

Sharkey December 16, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Wait, why do they care where Sarney Benders gets his car insurance?

Georgia Burning December 16, 2009 at 5:38 pm

[re=479949]Joshua Norton[/re]: What Bernie needs to do leak a video of Lieberman, several insurance CEO’s, and five Republican senators wearing Nazi and Soviet uniforms and engaged in group sex with five-year old children, with shouts of “f*** Christmas” every six seconds.

SmutBoffin December 16, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Isn’t “progressive” just a word that somebody made up when “liberal” became too poisoned in the popular imagination to be worthy of self-application? What does it even mean?

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 16, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Is Fire Dog Lake now being run by someone named Erick, son of Erick?

JSDC007 December 16, 2009 at 5:51 pm

PROGRESSIVE, PROGRESSIVE, PROGRESSIVE (must say in uppercase)!!! NOW, NOW, we demand it now, now, now! Or else, we’ll go all douchey teabag on Muslin capitalist pig, Barack Obama, who should have made many, many more speeches to convince Israeli goblin troll doll Joe-El and fat Ben Nelson to choose Progressive over Geico or AllState. As PROGRESSIVEs, we worship Progressive Bratz Doll on the TV commercials! She will save these United States of America.

snideinplainsight December 16, 2009 at 5:51 pm

People talk a lot about Rush, but YES was the only real progressive band.

user-of-owls December 16, 2009 at 5:51 pm

So apparently in the Fire Dog Lake dictionary of futile self-righteousness, the entry reads as follows:

PROGRESSIVE: See QUIXOTE, DON

TubeCity December 16, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Ah, Fire Dog Lake. Isn’t this the season for Merry Fitzmas?

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2009 at 5:55 pm

Lordy, this is a long, arduous process. And everyone’s pissed. But all the liberals should calm down and coolly evaluate whether this bill — gutted as it is — would be better than what we have. If so, it’s something to pass and build on — if not, improve it or kill it.

This is a long fight and it won’t be over anytime soon — in much the same way that it didn’t start recently. The point is to make enemies of reform sick of the fight before the reformers are sick of the fight. And if we run into a wall, and we can’t get over it, then do something else — like start digging.

Right now the lobbyists are too powerful — undercut their influence in any number of ways, little by little, get a few more liberals elected, eke out another step forward, repeat. Over and over again forever. That’s the ugly truth about progress — it’s not a revolution, and you’re never done. Which doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.

SmutBoffin December 16, 2009 at 5:58 pm

[re=479979]snideinplainsight[/re]: Shit, have you ever heard Bernie Sanders play keyboard? He makes Wakeman sound like a toy Casio…

chascates December 16, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Sanders pulled the amendment after 3 hours of listening to the bill being read.

Otto Reimer December 16, 2009 at 6:00 pm

[re=479967]SmutBoffin[/re]: Progressives are what happen when you remove the backbone from a liberal. This happened in the late 90s.

This is also why Republicans were against stem cell research, they were afraid Democrats would grow a spine.

mookworthjwilson December 16, 2009 at 6:01 pm

[re=479953]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Actually it’s “What Canada said.” Britain is socialized medicine, not like that’s a bad thing, and Canada is single payer…

HedonismBot December 16, 2009 at 6:06 pm

[re=479984]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yeah, what you said. Cooler heads prevailing, and all that. Seriously, I think you said that very well.
I read what Howie Dean said about just flat killing the bill because it’s turned into a toothless blowjob for corporate America. The way this bill has slid quickly-but-surely downhill since the Senate got its poop-stained hands all over it, I was almost inclined to agree with Dean.
But, why couldn’t Coburn just let Bernie’s amendment come to a vote? There is no way in hell it would have passed. The GOP could have just watched it die a quick and painless death and gone back to railing against “Obama-Pelosi care.” What was he so afraid of?

Holding Out for a Hero December 16, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Progressives and teabaggers two sides of the same whiny ass coin.

chascates December 16, 2009 at 6:12 pm

So now any climate change bill or another stimulus will face death by a thousand cuts (& Joe Lieberman). The Tea Baggers will manage to get some of their nuts elected in 2010, the Dems will lose 2-3 Senators then and, unless Palin runs as a 3rd party in 2012, Obama is done.

And Romney or Pawlenty or whoever will say we must lower taxes & cut regulation to fix the economy and start a war with Iran.

Sharkey December 16, 2009 at 6:14 pm

[re=479979]snideinplainsight[/re]: His amendment will pass in 2112. (Not today.)

S.Luggo December 16, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Hit Coburn with your old man breath, Bernie. And hit him hard!

Darkness December 16, 2009 at 6:24 pm

[re=479994]chascates[/re]: Obama could take a page from George W’s playbook and start a war. How about North Korea? Yeah, I mean, ANOTHER war. Everyone’s forgotten about those other two, so they don’t count.

Suds McKenzie December 16, 2009 at 6:24 pm

I like Bernie’s words at 4:52 “no sidewindin’ bushwackin’, hornswagglin’ cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter.”

nbawriter December 16, 2009 at 6:26 pm

All a Progressive is, is a Republican twat turned inside-out.

Freaking useless, the all of them. And Lieberman. And the rest of them.

And get off of my lawn!

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2009 at 6:32 pm

[re=479992]HedonismBot[/re]: They just want to gum up the works as much as possible, regardless of the relevance. It got him to table his amendment though, which just goes to show that if you want to succeed against Republicans, you’ve got to be a bigger bitch than they are.

[re=479994]chascates[/re]: And people wrote Bill Clinton’s political epitaph in 1994, too — and he managed to get more of a liberal agenda advanced with both houses of Congress against him than when there was a Democratic majority.

chascates December 16, 2009 at 6:32 pm

I gladly voted for Obama but I didn’t expect miracles, just a push toward traditional liberal ideas. We didn’t get that. I don’t blame him as much as I do the ‘culture’ in Washington, by which I mean the enormous force that lobbysists hold over the legislative process. Until a Constitutional amendment is passed to disallow large (over $1,000) donations to candidates or officeholders (including all PACs) as a First Amendment right we’ll always be held hostage by the corporate interests. And I’ll include AARP, NRA, and most of the large players in that.

And no one in Washington wants to see that other than Bernie, Kucinich and a few other outsiders.

Aurelio December 16, 2009 at 6:49 pm

[re=479959]JMP[/re]: [re=479984]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=479992]HedonismBot[/re]: [re=480011]chascates[/re]: Like some people in this thread, I thought the wishy-washy Senate bill was better than nothing, too…until Howard Dean told me that the clause prohibiting cherry picking based on “pre-existing conditions” has been castrated by a clause allowing insurance companies to charge older people three times what they charge younger people for the same policy.

Well, fuck that. I’m gonna write in Bernie Sanders name for President in the next election, even if I do get arrested for it.

Scandalabra December 16, 2009 at 6:50 pm

Brimstone & Spittle

problemwithcaring December 16, 2009 at 6:51 pm

[re=479984]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “That’s the ugly truth about progress — it’s not a revolution, and you’re never done. Which doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.”

You’re the man, dawg.

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2009 at 6:53 pm

[re=480011]chascates[/re]: My wish would be to see campaign contributions allowed only from people who were eligible to vote. Period. Just thinking about the screaming that would ensue makes me smile.

Servo December 16, 2009 at 6:57 pm

[re=479984]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
Essentially what I said a while back. Just get the goddamned foundation laid! The slow and imperceptible change to SocialCare will seem like a natural and sensible transition to Tard Nation. Unfortunately, at some point in the future, the Repugnants will most certainly attempt to claim all credit for such an original idea.

Jim89048 December 16, 2009 at 6:59 pm

[re=480026]SayItWithWookies[/re]: At which time they’ll find a loophole allowing corporations to vote, and game over.
We’re fucked, the end.

Come here a minute December 16, 2009 at 7:01 pm

[re=479967]SmutBoffin[/re]: Not only are the progressives too weak to stand up and call themselves liberals, Bernie Sanders proudly calls himself a SOCIALIST. Geez!

Aurelio December 16, 2009 at 7:02 pm

[re=480011]chascates[/re]: …a Constitutional amendment is passed to disallow large (over $1,000) donations to candidates or officeholders (including all PACs)….

The only trouble with that idea is that it would first have to pass both houses of Congress by 2/3. This has about the same likelihood as the the discovery of the Round Square.

lovethebomb December 16, 2009 at 7:04 pm

[re=479964]Georgia Burning[/re]: I am thinking that your scenario of lieberman, CEO’s, republicans in Nazi and Soviet uniforms f***ing 5 yr old children may not be enuf to get the rocks off for the party leaders watching. Perhaps some bondage, whipping of babie pandas, I dunno. It seems a little tame at this point. Sarah Palin getting double teamed while reading from her ghost writen autobio would work for a few minutes, I guess. It’s all so boring.

chascates December 16, 2009 at 7:06 pm

[re=480040]Aurelio[/re]: Agreed. And the Supreme Court isn’t likely to interpret political contributions any way other than as a protected First Amendment right. So I might consider selling a kidney to finance my gall bladder operation.

Hooray For Anything December 16, 2009 at 7:13 pm

[re=479994]chascates[/re]: Have no fear, Lieberman’s actually working on the Senate climate bill so we’ll all be able to watch Joe screw himself. And he’s working on the bill with Lindsey Graham and John Kerry so it should definitely go well. I hope polar bears like Florida.

doloras December 16, 2009 at 7:13 pm

[re=480011]chascates[/re]: “I gladly voted for Obama but I didn’t expect miracles, just a push toward traditional liberal ideas.”

Why? Did Barry ever say or do anything to suggest he was a traditional liberal? I heard him say clearly “we’re getting out of Iraq so we can BOMB AFGHANS MOAR”, but traditional liberals seemed to edit that part out. No, what happened is that you and people like you were reading into Barry things that were never there and which he never pretended were there.

Given that, Obama has worked out precisely as well as I thought he would, and he will certainly be re-elected in 2012. Only a tiny minority of self-deluded crybabies will stay at home and let the Party of Teabagging regain the White House.

Toomush Infermashun December 16, 2009 at 7:13 pm

I don’t give a shit. I think I loves me some Bernie Sanders…..

Toomush Infermashun December 16, 2009 at 7:13 pm

I don’t give a shit. I think I loves me some Bernie Sanders…. and pass the pipe…

chascates December 16, 2009 at 7:16 pm

[re=480049]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Amen on the pipe. Filling mine up now.

Fox News Light December 16, 2009 at 7:24 pm

Teabaggers vs. Progressive in fight to the death! (of America)

hunter.blatherer December 16, 2009 at 7:32 pm

Take note, teabaggers: real socialists never have their hair done.

betterDeadThanRed December 16, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Call me a socialist but I want to move t oVermont so I can vote for Bernie Sanders.

the problem child December 16, 2009 at 7:36 pm

Bernie Sanders. What a sweet old pissed off guy. And all that he says is true.

Seriously though, taking twelve hours to read this amendment might have been a good thing. It would have dominated the news cycle going into the weekend, and it would be the only way that most of the Senate would have ever had a chance to “read” it.

MGBYG December 16, 2009 at 8:24 pm

What the fuck is with the wonketters today? You guys really don’t know what a Progressive is or is this more of the too cute for your IQ bullshit?

Progressives are not liberals they are not conservatives, ya assholes! Use you stupid google machine and learn something.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_Era

Snark is just stupidity in the guise of wit.

Toomush Infermashun December 16, 2009 at 9:02 pm

Shit, I jsut thought progressives believed in progressive taxes, shows you what I know….

DustBowlBlues December 16, 2009 at 9:05 pm

Zero time to read or comment, other to hit my default button and apologize for the moronic dickwadish douchefreak the idiots in this state imposed on decent people in the developed states.

Okies are stupid and many of them semi-literate. That’s our excuse. What’s Conn’s excuse for Leiberwhine?

Sorry. That’s all I got. I’m reconciling my checkbook.

Oldskool December 16, 2009 at 9:07 pm

I’d like to see Bernie hopped up on whiskey and meth and turned loose in the Republican caucus with a baseball bat. Hot damn he’d be da man.

kapish December 16, 2009 at 9:17 pm

Bernie is right about everything he said. I hereby resign from snark forever.

DustBowlBlues December 16, 2009 at 9:32 pm

Today I saw my doctor about my regular checkup and found out that the medicine I’m taking in lieu of the expensive one, that works is killing my liver.

How is this related to Bernie? This is how, Oldskool: Here in the Heartland, we have lots of meth. I’ll provide it, a pint of whiskey and a Edgar Martinez/Mariner souvenir baseball bat and lock Bernie in a room with my senator, Spooky Doktor Tom.

Our only hope is for the Teabaggers to continue their trajectory toward being a movement independent of their health care lobby overlords so they continue to shred Republicans. Democrats are hopeless. We must pray the Republics destroy themselves.

Sharkey December 16, 2009 at 9:32 pm

[re=480128]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I am glad you checked in with us.

Joe Leperman is an example of an educated dickfreak. The problem is educated folk cannot tell the difference between decency and enema-brain in other educateds. Anyone educated is fit to serve in office, regardless of underlying neurological function.

DustBowlBlues December 16, 2009 at 9:36 pm

[re=479967]SmutBoffin[/re]: I still call myself a liberal Democrat. The Progressive thing is silly. The liberals say “Progressives and LIberals.”

I guess it’s rebranding.

DustBowlBlues December 16, 2009 at 9:46 pm

[re=479984]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You will never make it on the “blogosphere” with such a reasonable, simply put and reality based comment. Fire dog Lake, or whatever that is, scorns you and KOS is about to throw white wine and lite beer all over you.

DustBowlBlues December 16, 2009 at 9:59 pm

[re=479992]HedonismBot[/re]: “What was he so afraid of?”

G*dammit. Don’t you understand anything? The lobbyists said he was supposed to stall anything proposed by a Democrat and he was just doing his job: Serving corporate America and, therefore, Jeebus.

Spooky Doktor Tom is a man of principle, not intelligence.

Fuck, shit, crap, douchebag, mo’fucker, all-those-obscenities-I-don’t-know-or-couldn’t-bring-myself-to-type. I fucking hate Coburn and Inhofe. Every time I think about my fucked up liver and the prescription the insurance company won’t chip in on because it’s expensive because Big Pharma needs big dough to advertise on the teevee and payoff dickwads like these two, I want to hunt them down and exercise my precious Second Amendment rights on them.

DustBowlBlues December 16, 2009 at 10:02 pm

Oops, I’m doing all the talking on this one (Doktor Tom does that to me) and now it’s time to turn over the computer to the old man and his porn.

Later, losers.

Sharkey December 16, 2009 at 10:08 pm

Well thanks, DBB, and now back to you, “Toomush Infermashun”…?…

Neilist December 16, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Hey, how about using this as the basis for a 2009 remake of the Frank Capra classic, “Mr. Smith Goes To Washington”?!?

The Pitch:

In the Jefferson Smith/Jimmie Stewart heroic ad role, Senator Bernie Sanders (Ind., Vt.) makes an impassioned, stem-winding, filbusterish speech to the Senate to “Save Healthcare, The Senate, And Our Nation’s Honor.”

In the Senator Joseph Harrison Paine/Claude Rains corrupt villain role, Senator Joe Lieberman (Dem. (HA!) Conn.) is so overcome with guilt by Bernie’s rhetoric that, in a spasm of conscience he runs into the Senate Cloakroom and . . .

. . . borrowing Chuck Schumer’s TEC – 9 “assault pistol,” shoots Bernie 23 times in the face, pausing only once to re-load.

:::Closing shot — “Joltin’ Joe” being acquitted by a jury of Hartford Insurance executives:::

For the Jean Arthur/Clarissa Saunders girlfriend role, I figure Ashley Dupre. She’d be perfect!

OSCARS, HERE WE COME!!!

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2009 at 11:00 pm

[re=480155]DustBowlBlues[/re]: They would throw lite beer on a person? That’s low.
It’s weird though — here I thought I was a liberal, and yet I approve of the new strategy in Afghanistan and am willing to take half a healthcare reform bill instead of a whole one. I’ll have to go to a smoke-out or something to get my cred back.

snideinplainsight December 16, 2009 at 11:09 pm

[re=479987]SmutBoffin[/re]: It’s just not the same when Bill Bruford is gone -

misanthropomorphic December 17, 2009 at 2:41 am

Fuck you, Deputy Stagg! Fuck you!

LowerdPeninsula December 17, 2009 at 6:30 am

Sorry, while FDL went too far, they are not wrong on the point that the current bill is so horrible that it needs not be passed. When you’ve got someone like Dean, who until just last week was pimping this compromise of a compromise, finally saying that this thing is so watered down that it amounts to little more than an insurance industry giveaway, the “progressives” are right.

rmontcal December 17, 2009 at 7:41 am

I just opened a Word document, typed “teh google” and then used that to submit my vote(s) for Bernie Sanders as President of Everything. WIN!

Voyou Charmant December 17, 2009 at 9:54 am

[re=480252]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: Stop with the serious analysis.

hahahaha! anal.

Audacity of Dope December 17, 2009 at 10:31 am

[re=480104]MGBYG[/re]: We can haz funnyz pls? we know what progressive means, or bull moose or whatever the kidz are calling it these days and don’t care.

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