So embarrassing was Meghan’s live-Twatting of her struggle to unclog a drain that these delightful Twitters have just been deleted. But Meghan, here’s what you’re gonna wanna do with the Drano, to get it to work: you’ve got to mix it with as much aluminum foil as possible and let it sit for a bit. [Animal New York]
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{ 106 comments }
SHUT UP AND DRINK IT
She is unclear on how to use Drano? Is this serious? She cannot see the LARGE warnings and instructions all over the back of the package? Can she really be this dumb or is this an act?
I can’t wait till she twits about buying food at what is known as a Su-per-Mar-ket.
I’d be more than happy to snake her pipes for her.
Then I could take a look at her drain.
After that I could probably unstop her bathtub.
When I finished doing that I’d probably call a plumber or something, because I’d be too tired after all that deviant sex to fix it myself.
Joke about “snaking a drain”.
Do this instead. It’s right up your alley. Or will be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYEO_WZUGcY
[re=479678]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: Too soon…
Read the label, Drano doesn’t work on semen clogs.
I guess Drano has a clear liberal bias…
Why not call Joe the Plumber?
[re=479683]SmutBoffin[/re]: Draining a snake?
Drano: Now with Clear Liberal Bias!
[re=479689]Scarab[/re]: semen clog might become my new favorite insult.
Stop trying to be an adult; you’re not qualfied.
Lordy, if she has this much difficulty with Drano, imagine what trouble she can get into with a carton of Massengill.
[re=479682]Godless Liberal[/re]: Haha. Perfect timing.
I guess Meghan could blame the clog on her Mom, if the obstruction is comprised of trollop-y makeup products and the hair of the burly, hirsute groundskeeper.
Meghan’s just discombobulated because she hasn’t been getting any sleep ever since someone put a pea under her stack of mattresses.
http://animalnewyork.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/any-plumbers-follow-me-on-…_1260988385933.jpeg
Oh, Megs. We know your desperate, but the “plumber helping a girl out” is too played out in porn.
Meghan’s sex story was way more creative than the one Oral told yesterday.
[re=479694]Dumptruck[/re]: FINE. Use your own gotdam jokes, see if I care.
[re=479703]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Dear god, I hope she can read.
She’s so clogged up and repressed that she just can’t help but write porn on twitter.
How many millions of dollars does this girl have? She should have the butler do it.
[re=479689]Scarab[/re]: [re=479695]Decker[/re]: [re=479697]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: You have all won The Wonketts today!
Sounds like a thinly veiled cry for help.
Meggy, it takes two hands to pour a liquid down a drain. Put down the twitter-er down.
[re=479678]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: Cindy will now twat angrily at our Wonkett.
No, no. You haven’t messed up your bath at all. Just be sure to take pictures, both before and after.
What, did Mommy decide she didn’t want to pay for poor Megs’ personal maid anymore?
Poor privileged, not-so-little rich girl, actually having to do something for herself.
Come on Meghan, your father spent FIVE AND A HALF YEARS! shitting in the corner of his cell. In door plumbing is just a liberal attempt to make you weak. Go Rogue, give up your bath!
whiskey tango foxtrot: MAYBE I WILL DAMMIT. I WILL NOT LET YOU WIN WONKETT!!
Has she called Joe the Plumber, or is that relationship still awkward? Isn’t there someone brown, other than Bridgitte, that she can have handle this?
Meghan! It’s possible the container of Drano has what’s called directions. Look for the little words on the back! And remember to remove the cap.
good to see meghan is still trying to be an adult. a worthwhile goal that should keep her busy for a lifetime.
If she was truly “Gonzo” she would know exactly what to do with that Drano.
Does worrying about the drain make your hair fall out, or does your hair falling out clog the drain? No one knows, but either way you’re going bald.
“…Drano is foaming and not going down…”
Of course he isn’t: Cunnilinigus is probably the last thing on your rabid schnauzer’s mind.
Have you tried peanut butter?
Seriously, this jerkoff doesn’t know how to use Drano? And then makes it public knowledge?
Remember the skit on tv that Michael Moore did years ago “Who is dumber rich people or poor people?” and he got rich people to say things like “oh it cost about a hundred dollars to rent a movie” and “it cost like twenty bucks to supersize it at McDonalds”.
This girl is dumber than those people.
i’ll unclopg yer pipes meggers….with my fist.
[re=479724]chascates[/re]: PROTIP: Right-tighty, lefty-loosey!
#nonentity
Someone help her please, the world does not need to know what Meghan smells like without a shower.
“I am trying to be an adult and unclog my bathtub…”
And therefore, I will twitter about it.
[re=479730]magic titty[/re]: Yeah, generally, it’s better to be smarter than the tools (or in this case, chemicals) that you plan to use. She is asking for an emergency room visit.
“I’m trying to be an adult…” Reading. (Reading the bottle works.) Reading other things works too. In fact the average American conservative could start trying to be an adult by reading more.
[re=479680]Doglessliberal[/re]: Perhaps she should google “ignoramus” — wow, an ignorant lawyer!
[re=479739]Gopherit[/re]: Her Twitter post referencing Andy Warhol’s tits was more useful.
One moment she’s playing the cute-and-dumb act, the next she’s trying to appear as a sophisticated political analyst. Pick a phony persona, Megan, anyone will do.
Perhaps if she had asked one of those nice brown people she bulldozed her way through in front of the Home Depot she bought the Drano at, she wouldn’t be in this pickle.
[re=479721]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: That was it, that was the comment where I just broke down.
Thank you internets. And thank you Wonkette for keeping her in your twitter feed. Seriously folks, you have to go for weeks reading mind-numbingly inane shit before you get quality moments like these.
Hey Wonkett, seems everything is funny to you.
Can flush the guy who invented Twatter down the toilet, followed by a Jonah Goldberg chaser?
Okay the drano fire in my bathroom has now engulfed the surrounding apartments..
McCainBlogette
Speaking of McCains, our gal Sarah is resting and relaxing, and not at all associated with Meghan Mc’s Daddy. Stay classy, Sarah!
[re=479748]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Maybe it depends on whether she’s borrowed her mom’s pills.
Hey Megs, after you try the Draino + aluminum foil combo, give bleach + ammonia a try. I hear it’s a gas!
“I am unclear about how to use Drano…”
Step 1: Open bottle.
Step 2: Drink it.
In all fairness to Megan, who I think is kind of cute and basically well-intentioned and nowhere near as evil as her parents …. if some normal person, like say your sister-in-law or that girl at the office you’d really like to bone, had written this, nobody’d be making fun of them at all.
First time for everything, and not everybody is Martha Stewart. I have a hard time putting together furniture from IKEA, and it comes with instructions, too. Also.
Megs,
Always taste the Drano first to check for freshness.
And this elitist cunt looked down on great ‘Murican JTP!! Who’s got clogged pipes now, be-yotch???
[re=479763]CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us[/re]: Dammit, whiskey…
I’m just really, really hoping Megs does not read the always-funny Wonkett, and buys the #2 best-seller, “What’s Your Poo Telling You,” because then her “twitterfam,” or whatever the fuck she calls the sycophants who follow her, will have to read about why her bath gets clogged.
“I think I may have messed up my bath.”
That’s generally what happens when one “plunges” their “snakes” into one’s “bath” too frequently.
To be fair, pour half a bottle of anything in Meg’s pipes and she goes down fast.
Haha she has caught a glimpse of the struggle of the proletariat
“Sing along with the common people,
sing along and it might just get you through,
laugh along with the common people,
laugh along even though they’re laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do.
Because you think that poor is cool.”
the invention of drano, like the french revolution, happened before she was born.
This is the woman we want to run our country! Megs/Palin 2012!
Seriously tho, if she can’t figure out drano, how is she going to figure out the efficacy of keynesian market dynamics on a multipayer healthcare industry using a parameterized incentive system and sliding-scale tax-deferred subsidies?
Ah who am I kidding? I don’t care, I just like teh cleavage on newsy talk shows.
Drano tweets seem to have been removed. She left the ones telling of her love for Bud Lite, Jack Daniels, and junk food so she has some pride left.
What is it with these right wingers, what with their “Let’s put X on teh intartubes!” and then 10 minutes later, it’s gone once everyone realises what a disastrous dipshit move it was.
Shut up, you guys, the life of a privileged, insanely spoiled, blonde rich girl is HARD.
[re=479798]chascates[/re]: She might need the drano after a night of that, too.
[re=479800]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Screen caps are a bitch.
[re=479816]Gopherit[/re]: Yer gonna get busted again, Senator Schumer.
That’ll teach her to poop in the tub.
That’ll teach her not to poop in the tub.
[re=479764]gurukalehuru[/re]:
if some normal person, like say your sister-in-law or that girl at the office you’d really like to bone, had written this…
If that girl at the office you want to bone called you up, or texted you, and told you this, it would mean she wants you to bone her. It would just be an excuse.
If, instead, she twatted it to thousands, you’d still probably leap at the chance to come over and fix her pipes, because you were already attracted to her. You’re a guy; you don’t care if she’s a moron if you think she’s pretty, and/or available, from what guys always tell me.
I doubt, however, if your sister-in-law, who should be non-boneable to you, twatted this, you would think it’s similarly adorable.
And, be honest, if a guy over the age of 12 twatted this, what would you think of him?
She’s just having fun with us. No one would twit something like that unless it’s to watch everyones reaction. Right?
yeah, but have you ever tried to get a tub to drain after flooding it with gallons of washed out hair products and young republican jizzum? i mean, have you?!?!
[re=479712]graceless[/re]: I don’t think stuffing thousand-dollar bills down the drain is going to help. Then again, worth a try!
She should ask Levi Johnston’s mom about this. She would no doubt suggest mixing it with pseudephedrine.
Maybe the clogged drain was the diversion that prevented Megs from claiming to be a lover of Tiger Woods?
Megster:
1. Sit on drain. Fart. Sniff. Repeat.
If that doesn’t work:
2. More Drano. Add quart of Chlorox. (Put 9-1-1 speed-dial.) Lean over drain. Inhale.
[re=479764]gurukalehuru[/re]: No. I’m sorry. “Normal people” Don’t have a problem using drano.
Now, I’ll give you the Ikea instructions. Target furniture instructions are bad too. And they, like Drano, come in about five languages – and helpful picture diagrams explaining exactly what to do in case you happen to be illiterate. Just like Drano.
The difference would be that putting together furniture from anywhere is about 100 times more complicated than
1: Open bottle
2: Poor any amount of liquid down drain
3: Do not drink Drano
[re=479764]gurukalehuru[/re]: And you’re right, there is a first time for everything. Personally, the first time I had to use Drano on a sink after moving out, it took me longer to scan the price tags to see which brand was on sale than it did to figure out how to use the stuff.
Then again, I’m not the retarded spawn of Satan and Satan’s spouse. (And you can try to figure out which is which, cause frankly, I can’t tell.)
[re=479893]Redhead[/re]: The instructions for using Drano are, in fact, just about that simple. However, the missing part on the Drano bottle is the note that it almost never ever actually works. Looks like she’s going to have to pay Joe the Plumber to come over to pull out a (now gelatinous) glob of hair trollopy caked-on makeup. And Roger Ailes jizz. Also.
[re=479831]Katydid[/re]: If it was a guy I’d think he was gay and wanted someone to come over and bone him.
[re=479764]gurukalehuru[/re]: If it was just the one thing, yeah. But see, this is theme humor. Part of a broader pattern of thorough lulz. Even if you don’t want to click the links in the story for previous installments, you can just go over to Ms McCabelBloggette’s twatter tweet princess castle thing and enjoy it as a primary resource.
Megs, here’s another helpful tip: If there are brown stains on your bath towel, it means the guy you picked up in the bar last night wiped his bum on it after crapping in your tub.
Calgon, take her away.
They are called “tweets,” not “twitters.”
“You can imagine where it goes from here.”
“He fixes the bathtub?”
[re=479931]WadISay[/re]: Soak the towel in bleach, then add a soupcon (French for gallon) of ammonia. Thrifty tip: Save the liquid to use as a gentle, natural rinse for blonde hair.
Show your twits!
Megs, use the plunger not the Drano! It works faster and there is no pollution.
Why am I feeling the next tweet will have to do with requiring a visit to the gynecologist to get a bottle of Drano removed?
Who over the age of 15 says “I’m trying to be an adult”?? There are problems here, but they are not related to plumbing.
Gah, drano is some nasty shit and does not work on a fully clogged drain. The bacterial powder stuff works great, and on fully clogged drains. And no pollution. Try reading a label! Jesus, people are stupid.
[re=479901]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Drano will actually work, eventually, but you have to siphon out nearly all the standing water so it isn’t diluted. Which most people do not have the right equipment to do. (Ace sells a nice mini battery operated siphon, btw.)
Frankly, I’m an engineer and I called a plumber last time to plunge the tub, cuz hell I have better things to do with my time and energy, and I don’t have 10000th the money this chick does. I didn’t think I was being an adult, unless by adult, you mean “lazy”.
[re=479729]Extemporanus[/re]: (psst – I left a comment over there. They make you register but they don’t check your email address. I also left one here – scroll to the bottom.)
[re=480019]Sharkey[/re]: Oh gosh. Ugh. GREEN BALLOONS!
Which one of you geniuses is Robustoman?
I am like _so_ hearing William Shatner reciting this on Conan.
[re=479961]violate[/re]: Really?
What the hell is with that background image on her Twitter account? She looks freaking cross eyed.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the hope for the future of the Intellectual Right.
Did she get her butler to tweet that for her or did she tweet it herself?
[re=479682]Godless Liberal[/re]: Goddammit, second post and you took my line already! Well, I deserve it for thinking of such predictable jokes. Suffice it to say that a young lady of Meghan’s talents will never have far to look for someone willing to snake her drain.
[re=480205]mumblyjoe[/re]: What, that they’ll all be so stacked that I’ll be too busy thinking about snaking their drains to care what they say about anything? Yeah… I guess I do kinda hope for that.
Of course, this will all cease to be funny tomorrow when we awake to the headline “Meghan McCain Found Overcome by Fumes in her Bathroom.”
All right, that will still be funny.
Still, I can’t wait to see how she fictionalizes all of this for her novel.
And isn’t the saddest thing that Megs has yet to find a man who wants to marry her for her money just like Mom did.
[re=479764]gurukalehuru[/re]: I don’t know, this is sort of like twatting “I have the peanut butter, and I have the bread, but it seems awfully messy to just shove the bread into the jar.”
Now, Ikea, I will give you. I’ve always had trouble inserting my IDBYN into the TROMSÖ on the back of my DÅTID OBI M50 AN.
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