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Barack Obama Telephones Lesbian

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Hmm… it appears, from what we would infer to be a “polite” tone here, that Barack Obama will not pursue crippling sanctions against the city of Houston for electing some lesbian as its mayor. GRRRR, THESE DEMOCRATS! [Burnt Orange Report via Ben Smith]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • OReillysVibrator

    I love Obama’s doomed strategy to signal his respect for gay people publicly while openly declining to give them rights. It’s like his own bizarre inverted Southern Strategy where he gives coded messages of support for votes and then NOT do anything for them in office. At this point his best bet to win the gays back is more shirtless photos.

  • SmutBoffin

    “Hi, this is President Barack Obama. I really loved your work in $apphic $luts III. Oh, wait. Wrong number.”

  • Potater

    [re=479522]OReillysVibrator[/re]: I agreed with you until I remembered we got the Matthew Shepperd act.

    But of course shirtlessness always wins my vote, except when it’s Barney Frank. His sex appeal translates just fine…completely clothed. And should remain that way, forever too.

  • SayItWithWookies

    “I wanted to let you know that we were watching and very proud.”

    Yeah, they always want to watch.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I telephoned a lesbian once; it just cost me $1.95 a minute.

  • PsycGirl

    He wanted to know if Oral Roberts was right about that vagina stuff.

  • Come here a minute

    Very suspicious, presidents of the United States are not known for settling for voice mail. I think he had someone watching for when she left the office, then called to be sure and get the voice mail. Darn, sorry I missed you!

  • V572625694

    So POTUS gets voicemail when he calls and has to leave a message? Wow….

  • V572625694

    [re=479535]Come here a minute[/re]: You only beat me by one minute, plus you were funnier.

  • JMP

    Ah, this was just a politician; based on Jim’s last comment I had thought this was a personal account of Barack calling SKS.

  • Potater

    Wasn’t there some mayor/congresswoman/tard who got a phone call from the PEOTUS and thought it was a crank call? Glad to see Mayor Lesbianby didn’t do something EMBARRASSING like that. Instead she just cold ignored fucker, and probably told her intern to put him on hold on line 2.

  • user-of-owls

    Obama will not pursue crippling sanctions against the city

    That’s what you think. There’s a bill quietly working its way through Congress that imposes a 400% tax increase on Subaru SUVs, kayaks and large dogs.

  • Aurelio

    [re=479530]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: …I telephoned a lesbian once; it just cost me $1.95 a minute.
    Barack was hoping to get a free introductory three minutes with this dyke. All he got was, “Hi, I’m not here right now, please leave a message at the beep.”

  • Slobodan Milobsterchopz

    I’m pretty sure she was getting the business on CNN while Big Barry called.

    Not The Bu$ine$$, mind you. Just the Business. CNN saves the other stuff for Twitter.

  • magic titty

    [re=479522]OReillysVibrator[/re]: You mean he should “give them rights” with the famous Obama Gives Them Rights Decree?

  • charlesdegoal

    Politico readers – at least those who leave comments – are a scary bunch. BTW, it’s the first time I hear that Matt Drudge likes to get sodomized. Any truth to it?

  • Aurelio

    How did we get this recording all over the internets? Did Annise or one of her staffers post it? Is this her way of saying “Butch is respectable, so there!”?

  • norbizness

    “Can you get me Dikembe Mutombo’s autograph?”

  • teebob2000

    I know of a phone number where you can call lesbians; but it’s 2 of them at a time, and you have to pay by the minute, and you can’t really talk to them so much as listen in on their licking and miscellaneous other activities.

    See here for further details on the licking and whatnot: http://wonkette.com/412754/oral-roberts-dead-as-the-dickens

  • gjdodger

    Rick Perry called, too. He invited her to join him at this strip club in downtown Dallas. I mean, these chicks have bazongas out to here!

  • V572625694

    OT, but for those who are enjoying Slate‘s death throes, today there’s an article about the cultural significance of the early-sixties teevee show, “Mr Ed.”



  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=479522]OReillysVibrator[/re]: Don’t hold your breath on any significant gay-rights action until after this 2012 re-election thingee is a done deal. Surely you understand this, even if you don’t agree with it?

  • Gorillionaire

    I call a lesbian about every 3 or 4 weeks on account of the lawn needs to be cut.

  • Extemporanus

    I’m surprised her box wasn’t full.

  • Suds McKenzie

    [re=479558]V572625694[/re]: I was shocked the other day to actually see an article that didn’t remind me of a leftover, half full, flat, can of Hamms Beer the other day. Shocked!


  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Are we sure he didn’t just call a 900 number by mistake?

  • Darkness

    [re=479562]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Maybe Barry realizes that gays, as soon as the dems sacrifice themselves for an election cycle to give them full rights, will be free to leave their republican closets. It’s a lose-lose.

  • SocialistMuslin

    And then afterwards, Obama asked her if she would take her name off of her voicemail because his wife has been calling his phone and…

  • LowerdPeninsula

    [re=480215]SocialistMuslin[/re]: He-Yo!

  • pat robertsons personal trainer

    [re=479556]gjdodger[/re]: Rick Perry definitely did not invite her to a strip club because while Rick frequents strip clubs, she would have no interest in going to a place where oiled up, fake tan, steroid dudes strut around in speedos. On second thought, Perry’s a fucking dunce and may not realize lesbians aren’t into dudes and invite her anyway.

    If you really want to treat yourself to some batshit ranting, check out the comments on Mayor-Elect Parker’s hometown newspaper’s coverage of the local gay community’s reaction.

    Congrats, again, Mayor Parker. I’m proud of our city–even the dipshit mouth-breathers. Like Phish, they’re way better live than just on TV & the internets.

  • pat robertsons personal trainer

    p.s. this does kinda remind me of when bush put a phone call into the homeschooled woman haters who protesting a woman’s right to be in control of the frequency and number of offspring she has. but bush was too much of a pussy to walk outside and stand in solidarity so he just had some cross-eyed inbred hold the receiver to the microphone. not that i can blame bush, even i agreed with those people, they all smell like piss and corndogs. who wants to stand next to that?