Everyone knows that the one upside of being trapped in the Guantanamo Bay detention center is the likelihood that someday you’ll be allowed to relocate to a tropical island paradise such as Palau or the Bahamas, where you can go swimming in your tee shirt unmolested. What, then, to make of the news that Switzerland is getting in on the Guantanamo resettlement game?
The dinky Alpine nation says it will take one (1) Gitmo detainee and allow him to resettle there, pending the approval of a Swiss canton, whatever that is. This poor resettled bastard will have to learn Swiss German and spend the rest of his life on a gondola dangling over a craggy abyss. Congrats, anonymous detainee! [AP]
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Instead of screaming Allah Akbar, they’ll be forced to scream “RIIIIIIICOLAAAAAAA!”
Great , another picture of one of Tiger’s courtesans. WHEN WILL IT END, HE”S WORSE THAN OJ!!11!
Just don’t build any fucking minarets!
now that they have one (1) muslim will they start building minarets? I hope so cause they are sure pretty.
But I thought switzerland was terrified of the muslins?
I guess that’s why they’re only accepting one.
He’s there to found a “Yodeling for Allah” movement.
Die Schwyzer are taking him, so he can’t be muslin. BUT he was in Gitmo, so he must be muslin. It’s like a Giger copy of an Escher.
They just picked him because he was accused of statutory rape 30 years ago. The Swiss are serious about that shit.
I thought we all agreed that the Swiss cant even be trusted to humanely treat the Muslims they already have.
Waterboarding or being forced to yodel and play the alphorn, possibly simultaneously? Hard to choose.
I’d like to have sexual intercourse with the alt text. I’m a tidy Swedish-American, I’m punctual and I can avoid strong opinions on anything if it means getting laid. Call me, eh?
I once was incarcerated in a Swiss prison. We had a choice of menus, even at breakfast. Worst things could happen to you.
Halal fondue for everyone!
[re=479353]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Switzeland. They have hot sexy alt text and prescription heroin. I’m moving.
Did someone tell them we don’t have Hitler’s brain at Gitmo?
On a related note: on her final paper one of my Muslim students wrote that Mali was a “muslin country.” Discuss.
I assume that he’ll be guarded by the Pope’s Army of Clowns.
Gah, the spambots are multiplying. Cut off one head, and two more shall its place.
But neither has fashionable tracksuits. I want to know what the fuck a fashionable tracksuit would look like, dammit.
Dress them all in Air Jordans and Polo Hoodies and they’ll fit right in downtown Geneva.. but seriously WTF with the e-buying adds?
…hmmmmm, Terrorist + SWISS ARMY KNIVES = MacGeyver?!
[re=479390]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
Al-Geyver
Stay in any fancy Geneva hotel and you will have more Arab TV than English and the bar is filled with Russian and Brazilian pros, and short mustached petrodollinaires.
[re=479373]medievalist[/re]: Teh stupidz does not discriminate.
[re=479390]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Good to see ABG again.
Hopefully he’ll earn gainful employment in a work-release program with one of the many fine Swiss timepiece craftsmen so he can become skilled at making tiny, tiny bombs. That’ll teach those interfering neutral gits!!!
…is this like the consolation prize for having your testicles crushed in a vice while simultaneously being water-boarded?
-”Oop, sorry {FILL IN BROWN PERSONS NAME} but we just received intelligence telling us you REALLY are a blind, deaf and mute begger. The good news is you get to move to the land of 6ft blonde buxom beauties; however unfortunately the last genital electrical shock session has left you impotent”
[re=479396]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: …just fulfilling my monthly comment quota!
For some reason I really want a St. Pauli Girl, right now.
[re=479457]Cape Clod[/re]: …you too?!
But if the detainee says the Alps look just like the Hindu Kush and then he starts looking for a nice cave, they’re sending him right back to the US.
[re=479337]ManchuCandidate[/re]: oh my god, scalding green tea incident caused by that one. Thanks for the laugh!
Just don’t expect the IRS not to hear about those UBS deposits.
And I wouldn’t mind dangling my gondola over her abyss…
They only took one prisoner out of respect for all of the Jewish gold the Nazis left in them banks!
This terrible decision plays right into the hands of Alp-Qaeda.
[re=479463]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Shout it from the mountaintops, ’cause if you shout it from a minaret you’ll get capped by the Insane Swiss Clown Army.
Actually a lot of Swiss (~7%) ARE Italian, but never mind
More Guant’s may be accepted after test subject is rigorously tested for lactose intolerance.
Sorry, but for every progressive thing they’ve done, Switzerland is still the Mississippi of Western Europe. Fuck you you xenophobic money-hiding bastards.
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