RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  5:01 pm December 15, 2009

Dana Perino Still Way Sexier Than Ari Fleischer

by Riley Waggaman

  • Congratulations, America. You’ve raised an entire generation of worthless junkies who will probably never know the simple pleasures of a corporate 9-5 or wholesome church picnics with the wife and kids or any of that good hearty American stuff. No, sir. Instead, these smackheads will just sit around all day and collect their welfare checks whilst smoking their God-forsaken marrywana. Thanks for nothing. [The Daily Dish]
  • If an Obamacare supporter is alone in the woods, would he/she still be wrong about everything? “Yes.” [RedState]
  • Matt Yglesias gets all Dear Abby on us. [Matt Yglesias]
  • The diarrhea that come out of Dana Perino’s mouth would not necessarily launch a thousand ships. But her sexiness most certainly would. On this point there is bipartisan consensus. [Think Progress]
  • A New York City propaganda film details the horrors of soda pop (it will give you massive quantities of unforgiving pubic lice). Joseph Goebbels is smiling with approval, somewhere in Argentina. [Hot Air]
 
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{ 46 comments }

AnnieGetYourFun December 15, 2009 at 5:05 pm

“[I]ndicating that President Bush didn’t understand the weight of the decision that is made when you send men and women into war, is demonstrably false.”

Excellent, my dear, sweet, pretty Dana. Care to demonstrate that falsity for us? Or is this one of those times where you use a big word like “demonstrably” without first looking up the meaning?

Texan Bulldoggette December 15, 2009 at 5:10 pm

The Dana Perino who uttered these words: ‘there was never a terrorist attack during our (Bush/Cheney) administration’? Shut thy pie hole at once!

Come here a minute December 15, 2009 at 5:10 pm

NO FAIR commenting on Perino’s sexiness when sitting across from Greta Van Susternenenen. Greta would make Joe Lieberman look sexy.

OK, bad example.

Extemporanus December 15, 2009 at 5:17 pm

What’s my Perino telling me?

proudgrampa December 15, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Hey, Dana ia a walking, talking blonde joke. ‘Nuff said.

Joshua Norton December 15, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Dude. You go to some weird-ass websites.

That is all.

Snarkalicious December 15, 2009 at 5:18 pm

(it will give you unforgiving quantities of massive pubic lice) -fixed

Sussemilch December 15, 2009 at 5:19 pm

The only thing I know about health care is that when Congress is finished fewer people will have it.

rocktonsammy December 15, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Palin/Perino 2012

Bringing back leadership and hawtness.

proudgrampa December 15, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=479036]Joshua Norton[/re]: I think that’s what interns are required to do.

trondant December 15, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Yeah, but the diarrhea that comes out of Perino’s mouth could fill and sink a thousand ships, easy.

SayItWithWookies December 15, 2009 at 5:28 pm

This, in fact is what the Dem Leadership has accelled at on health care: a dangerous disregard for political reality.
Accelled? Wow — combine that with the quirky capitalization and the notion that one can excel at having a viewpoint, and this sentence hits the error trifecta. I’m sure the Latin-prone wannabe scholars at RedState are beaming with pride right now. It’s something they accell at.

geminisunmars December 15, 2009 at 5:28 pm

perineum = taint. Just saying.

DC Hates Me December 15, 2009 at 5:29 pm

NYC gets all the scary fun PSAs. Swine flu, AIDS, lead paint, asbestos, german measels, drugs, cigarettes, soda, trans fat … because New York is a very health conscious place.

comicbookguy December 15, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Redstate is right, I have been wrong about everything. In fact, I’m wrong right now.

I look to them for insightful analysis like the fact that “something will pass” search on google returns 1.75 million hits, and if it’s related to kidney stones that counts as being about health care.

gurukalehuru December 15, 2009 at 5:32 pm

Accelled instead of excelled?? How does one even make a mistake like that? You would have to have no clue about the meaning or etymology of the word, and it’s not an uncommon word.
Redstate: For the retards, by the retards.

comicbookguy December 15, 2009 at 5:33 pm

In 2008, Perino tried to explain the banner by saying it should have read: “Mission Accomplished For These Sailors Who Are On This Ship On Their Mission. They Will Return to Accomplish the Exact Same Mission Again In a Few Months.”

geminisunmars December 15, 2009 at 5:34 pm

[re=479048]SayItWithWookies[/re]: They meant exhaled. Makes as much sense.

WadISay December 15, 2009 at 5:35 pm

If Greta Van Sustern and Dick Cheney ever French-kissed [*involuntary shudder*], they would be knee deep in saliva in a matter of minutes.

Nigerian Business Executive December 15, 2009 at 5:36 pm

I’m sorry but as an out and proud gay man I feel compelled to say this: Dana Perino is only sexy if you’re into wax sculptures that have been frozen for a thousand years and then dipped in the vomit of one hundred unhappy Republican Congressional pages.

comicbookguy December 15, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=479053]gurukalehuru[/re]: That’s where your wrong. If there’s one thing redstate knows, its the entomology of words. They accel at that.

SayItWithWookies December 15, 2009 at 5:37 pm

I hope President Obama didn’t mean it the way it came across, but when he suggested that President Bush was too triumphant in his rhetoric when talking about war…

Hey, Perino’s right — Dubya had to be triumphal in his rhetoric about war — that was as close to military triumph as he was likely to get.

gurukalehuru December 15, 2009 at 5:48 pm

Dana Perino is almost as stupid as Joe Lieberman is treacherous.

V572625694 December 15, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Slightly OT — well, Perino is reputed to have tits — but there were protesters in downtown San Diego today, apparently outside Boxers’ or Feinsteins’ SD offices, chanting “Keep your mitts off our tits!” and holding signs to that effect, more or less: “Keep your mitts off our ___s”

They blame Obama — who else? — for the statistical recommendation that women between the ages of 40-50 may not need mammograms every year.

This of course makes absolutely perfect sense. We refer to ourselves contemptuously to express our resentment at what we perceive as contemptuous treatment by medical statisticians.

Fuck it there’s no hope.

geminisunmars December 15, 2009 at 5:59 pm

[re=479095]V572625694[/re]: No, no. You misunderstand. They blame Romney.

Seanyboy December 15, 2009 at 6:09 pm

[re=479053]gurukalehuru[/re]: The first thing I wondered was: don’t words like that get underlined in red on pretty much every web browser, word processor, facebook, etc. now? “Oh typical liberal leaning Mozilla telling me my word doesn’t exist just because it doesn’t agree with the context! WE SHALL OVERCOME!”

V572625694 December 15, 2009 at 6:09 pm

[re=479102]geminisunmars[/re]: Haha! Keep hope alive!

Potater December 15, 2009 at 6:15 pm

[re=479063]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: Oh shush, let the breeders have their fun.

What I don’t understand about Redstate is that it seems to live in its own insular bubble. Polls are fabricated on an assembly line, statistics magically fly out of anuses at lightning speed, and no one seems willing or able to leave the glow of the magical picture box in their john and see what life is like in the real world. Wait, I just described the cult of Ayn Rand also too.

engulfedinflames December 15, 2009 at 6:34 pm

I don’t get it, if I saw Sarah Palin at the supermarket I doubt I’d look twice. Dana may have been cute or perky once but her (and Sarahs’ ) willful embrace of ignorance renders them not just unattractive but disgusting. I wouldn’t fuck either of them with Oral Roberts cock.

El Pinche December 15, 2009 at 6:38 pm

Oooh the irony . Most of fat slob wingnuts and teabaggers would sign up for Obamacare. Then they’ll complain about it and blame nobama.

Anyways, I say kill this tainted bill. But I think Barry set on signing this piece of junk. In the end, we’ll all be forced to send flowers and chocolates to FreedomWorks, Aetna, and BlueCross.

This goes to show you that Congress is way fucking corrupt for any type of reform.

El Pinche December 15, 2009 at 6:39 pm

[re=479135]El Pinche[/re]: …way too fucking corrupt… , that is

thefrontpage December 15, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Perino is stupid, ignorant, a moron, dumb, a conservative, a Republican, corrupt, and a Bush supporter and apologist.

That makes her 100 percent un-attractive to many of us. No, she is not attractive at all now.

She needs to just shut up and go away.

Lascauxcaveman December 15, 2009 at 7:19 pm

[re=479162]thefrontpage[/re]: The dangerous/evil/crazy/hatefuck vibe is sexy to a lot of us straight males. That shouldn’t be too hard to understand. To each his own.

kewlguy42069 December 15, 2009 at 7:53 pm

run away with me Dana

Neilist December 15, 2009 at 8:28 pm

I can never look at Ms. Perrino without thinking of the old joke:

Q. What do you tell a blonde with two black eyes?

A: Nothing. You’ve told her TWICE already!

(Thank you. But I already knew I was an asshole.)

auburnwine December 15, 2009 at 8:51 pm

Dana was never George Bush’s press secretary just ask her.

Her photo ought to always been shown in soft focus, like the Vaseline-laden lens that always shines upon Miss Diane Sawyer. Also.

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El Pinche December 15, 2009 at 9:15 pm

[re=479201]etrading74[/re]: DIE DIE DIE

Neilist December 15, 2009 at 9:36 pm

[re=479063]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: “Dana Perino is only sexy if you’re into wax sculptures that have been frozen for a thousand years and then dipped in the vomit of one hundred unhappy Republican Congressional pages.”

DAMNIT, NGE! You make me HOT when you talk like that, you SAVAGE!

Nigerian Business Executive December 15, 2009 at 9:46 pm

[re=479221]Neilist[/re]: I got a million more, baby. If you’re lucky, I’ll tell you each of them twice.

Mr Blifil December 15, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Soda in the black and latino communities, who do not stock diet drinks in their local groceries/supermarket as a rule, is a major factor in diabetes/obesity. Something should be done to encourage these communities to come into the 21rst Century and avoid such a huge daily intake of sugar. This ad will probably not be the thing that does that.

cenghan December 15, 2009 at 11:39 pm

What I don’t understand about Redstate is that it seems to live in its own insular bubble. Polls are fabricated on an assembly line, statistics magically fly out of anuses at lightning speed, and no one seems willing or able to film izle film izle leave the glow of the magical picture box in their john and see what life is like in the real world. Wait, I just described the cult of Ayn Rand also too.

BeWoot December 15, 2009 at 11:54 pm

[re=479118]Potater[/re]: Redstate has a lot of company in that bubble. Mitch McConnell (now there is a handsome man) cites polls that are every bit as far from reality based as the crap ginned out by the shitheels at Redstate. How else could he, Cantor, Kyle, Imahuffer and their ilk chant repeatedly that “the American people don’t want” healthcare reform.

Fuck them and Droopy Joe. (I’ll take Perino for the grudge-fuck.)

LowerdPeninsula December 16, 2009 at 2:16 am

A few things…

- Correct spelling has a demonstrably liberal bias.

- Dana Perino is the perfect example of someone’s stupidity and viciousness making them demonstrably less attractive. And, she’s only attractive, otherwise, if you’re into souless, suburban white chicks. There is nothing wrong with that, but they also have to have a touch of being crazy as a fox if they are to be even half-way interesting, oh, and not crazy “crazy” or for-real crazy.

- Matt Yglesias wins the prize for being the Understater of the Year.

plowman December 16, 2009 at 7:00 am

[re=479133]engulfedinflames[/re]: Liar.

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