Even if there is an Omniscient Christian God, he probably thinks his followers are stupid for believing in something so ludicrous as an Omniscient Christian God: “Join with Christian leaders of all denominations who love God to humble ourselves, pray, seek the face of God, and turn from our wicked ways—individually and as a nation. This event is not to impress the media or those in Washington, but to reach the heart of God. Publically [sic] repenting and crying out to God for His mercy instead of the judgment our many sins deserve.”
The whole concept is so self-centered and pathetic, that you can just be a complete fuck-up asshole and then get on your knees occasionally with a bunch of other fuck-up assholes to cry like little babies, at the sky, begging not to be judged for the terrible things you’ve done. Tough shit! Get up and deal with it! Jesus appreciates a little bit of initiative; this mass groveling was so not his idea.
(This is not to offend those of you who enjoy your Christianity! Jesus had tons of good advice about basically not being a dick to other people. It’s sad that the only way people can conceive of a person being such a nice, decent guy is to arbitrarily assign him with universal all-encompassing magical powers that, among other things, helped him escape from a cave.)
[May Day 2010, Right Wing Watch]
{ 158 comments }
My god is a vengeful god and he hates crybabies. At least that’s what my mom always told me…
Oh, you deserve an honorary doctorate in Divinity (from a good divinity school, too) for the explanations of Jesus and religion here. BTW, no mention of Christmas? You are a foot soldier in the war on Christmas of course.
Makes about as much sense as, oh, a Flying Spaghetti Monster.
May you be touched by his Noodly Appendage. Amen.
From the entertainment schedule for this event:
Noon-1 p.m.: The Girls Of Tiger Woods: Pole Dance Competition!
1-2 p.m.: The Girls of Hustler: Strip Competition!
2-3 p.m.: The Girls of Hooter’s: Jello Wrestling Competition!
3-4 p.m.: The Girls of Playboy: Bikini Competition!
4-5 p.m.: The Girls of Victoria Secret: Mud Wrestling and Whipped Cream Wrestling Competition!
# # #
That creepy red, white and black flag of theirs looks suspiciously like a battle flag. Worse still, they’ve planted it next to the Lincoln Memorial, as if they’ve conquered it.
Since they’re declaring war on Lincoln, should we start shooting them now? Or should we wait until May Day, our sacred Communist holiday?
You know who else escaped from a cave?
What a coincidence. It just so happens that I was planning on a ritualistic goat-slaughter on the Mall that day. Hope that the blood won’t get in the way of the Jesus moaning.
Well, if they all repent of being conservatard teabagging ‘Thuglicans, I’m OK with it.
It’s almost over.
First, it’s anger (teabagging!), then it’s followed by sadness (crying like babies in a perpetual wet diaper). And the last stage is acceptance. “Yes, my president is black, and I will obey ACORN.”
The plan is unfolding. We will bend like a reed in the wind.
[re=478645]proudgrampa[/re]: Ramen, brother.
You know who else celebrated May Day?
May Day, huh? And WHAT do we also celebrate on May Day? Labor. And who also celebrates LABOR? Godless Communists. Why are these religious leaders associating with KNOWN COMMUNISTS, like BARRACK HUSSEIN OBAMA? Because they secretly HATE GOD.
That’s why.
Abraham Lincoln does look a lot like God.
This event is not to impress the media or those in Washington, but to reach the heart of God.
That’s why they’re splashing their event all across the internets and holding in in D.C.
Consistently inconsistent, those christers.
I predict that they will all start hallucinating under the influence of their “collective effervescence” and start claiming that the statue of the Great Emancipator is crying or ejaculating or some miraculous shit (the same way that hungry, exhausted people looking at statues of the virgin Mary see her cry ‘n’ whatnot).
“…magical powers that, among other things, helped him escape from a cave.”
So bin Laden is now Jesus? This is confusing me terribly.
I think instead they should go Old Testament and sacrifice the necks of some bankers and Wall Streeters to atone for our sins. It’d be two birds with one stone, what could be better?
[re=478649]Larry McAwful[/re]: Do you know who else had a red, white, and black flag? Hitler! Just sayin…
not to impress the media or those in Washington . . . Publically [sic] repenting and crying out to God
Self-awareness FAIL. Or God only exists in Washington, out in the public? WTF
Yep, Jesus was a commie, so May day is apropo.
there is simply not enough white in that photo.
Oh, it’s not to impress media, is it? Just for ordinary folks, eh? The why the fuck are you doing this in Washington, you egocentric assholes? Hypocritical conservatards.
[re=478658]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=478659]Seanibus[/re]: [re=478650]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=478663]x111e7thst[/re]:
You know who else beat you to these jokes?
They are praying at the LINCOLN memorial? LINCOLN? Wasn’t he the U.S. President during the war of Northern Agression? If he hadn’t've freed all the slaves, Barack Obama wouldn’t be president today.
They’ve issued an Amber Alert for our Nation’s lost innocence.
(It’s shackled to a sewer pipe in my basement…SHHH! Don’t tell!)
This is what the Car Guys imagined when they coined the term “Million Moron March.” Let’s get ready to litigate on the headcount from the aerial photographs!
Religion is stupid. Believers, to the extent they believe, are stupid too. There!
I love the part where they think this makes them good with God somehow:
“5 And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
(Matthew 6:5-6)
Hahaha.
I seriously want to start trolling some of these christianist sites by quoting the bible at them.
Is it wrong to pray that the moaners get caught squarely in between rival camps of marauding Young Trotskyites and rampaging Stormfront Brigadiers? Maybe throw in a little MS-13 too? If it is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Sure Jesus was not very dickish towards you’re average Joe Six-pack, but ultimately, he is the UNIVERSES LARGEST DICK provided you don’t lurve him enough (John 14:6). REPENT NOW SINNERS
Their “Vision” link doesn’t go anywhere, surprisingly. And as far as healing the country, they could get more done with a shovel in an afternoon than a whole week of moaning and imploring Thor (or whatever those Christians call their deity) for mercy. Really, what do these morons hope to do by dragging their iron-age notions of cause and effect into the twenty-first century?
Oh, and as far as Jesus having good advice — he had to be. He’s nothing more than a collection of aphorisms that were bandied around in the previous hundred years before Saul of Tarsus took a little Mithra-derived Jewish mystery cult out of obscurity and filled with homophobic, autocratic, circumcision-obsessed zeal. The rest has been history. Bad, awful, brutal, rapey history, but history just the same.
Newell, you make the common fallacy of assuming that being a ‘nice’ person is somehow a tenet of the Christian faith. Look here for the real Truth about salvation, if you dare. Also, heaven isn’t wheelchair accessible, FYI.
Who’s Abraham Lincolm?
[re=478645]proudgrampa[/re]:Do not make fun of my holy Pastafarianism.
That creepy flag is the “Christian Flag.” Apparently, they are taking over the Lincoln Memorial and turning it into a Christian cathedral of some sort.
Or maybe its because its on the penny, who knows.
They make the kids in christian schools say a “Christian Pledge of Allegiance” every morning, to that Christian flag, its a true fact. It makes the mind boggle, and the stomach to hurl.
[re=478679]V572625694[/re]: Good point. The more fervently you believe, the stupider you is.
Down on the bottom right, there’s a clicky little poll on the spiritual condition of our nation. Just sayin, ya’ll, just sayin.
Don’t make me do it without the fez on.
And they’ll sacrifice a lamb, just to be on the safe side. The Old Patriarchs loved that for some reaason.
Where do we get an itemized list of their “many sins”? Surely they have boy children, and girl children, about 15 or 16 years old, who can be offered up to make things right. What would xenu do?
[re=478686]SayItWithWookies[/re]: wow, I think you need a gingerbread latte and a candy cane so that you can find out what Jesus was really about.
There’s a poll on the site entitled “How do you rate the spiritual condition of our nation?”
“We really need to wake up” is leading at 80.5%, followed by “Great” at 5.5%.
You know who else thought…oh, never mind.
That’s why Batman is more popular than Jesus – Batman stayed in the cave, and turned it into a kickass bachelor pad, even once getting catwoman inside.
Jesus had two daddies.
Hey, wasn’t there supposed to be a teabagger event in the hallowed halls of Congress today, wherein they pretended to/actually died waiting for gubbmint health care? Where’s my liveblog and photo updates? Let’s just handle nutjob events as they occur.
[re=478662]SmutBoffin[/re]: lurv the Durkheim ref! For Durkheim, religion was always a direct reflection of society, which makes me think that we have one fucked up society to have produced such a juvenile, cramped, and unimaginative religious ideology.
YAY! OHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE let it be the Rapture!!!
“Join with Christian leaders of all denominations” including — Rabbi Aryeh Spero???!!!??? Leader of “Caucus for America”? WTF??? All I can say is that “Rabbi” Spero’s biographical information does not include where he went to rabbinical school or which congregation(s) he may have worked for before going rogue. Not even whether he’s chasidic, mainstream orthodox, conservative, reform or reconstructionist. I’m willing to bet he’s from the sect of Judaism we call “fake.” Happy Chanukah to you too, Rabbi Spero. Be careful when putting little Jesuses on your “Chanukah Bush.”
sounds muslimy to me.
“This event is not to impress the media or those in Washington, but to reach the heart of God. Publically [sic] repenting and crying out to God for His mercy instead of the judgment our many sins deserve.”
So why do they have to come to Washington and clog up the escalators on the metro? Stay home and wail.
The red cross represents Jesus blood shed on the cross, which is surrounded by black to color of Satan, which is in turn is surrounded by white the universal color of surrender. Clearly they are Crypto-Satanists instructing us to surrender to Satan who caused Jesus to die in bloody agony.
This is some sort of ploy to bring about Eschaton by secretly tricking 666 True Christians(tm) to pray to Satan causing him to subsume the statue of Lincoln and rain bloody death down on Washington from his new temple.
They’d be better off doing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRhPeJ3uzOc
You too, Richard Cohen!
[re=478680]mumblyjoe[/re]:
Exactly correct, Matthew came instantly to mind when I read the post
Hey, do you suppose we can get Palin and Bachmann out for this? I’d sove to see them supplicating themselves to something….or even each other.
[re=478672]Fox n Fiends[/re]: And what’s up with that chick’s lumpy ass?
It’s called a thong, bitch—wear one!
[re=478700]finallyhappy[/re]: Or else I should join them on May Day and pass out pamphlets about evolution and secular humanism. Maybe stand on a street corner yelling out passages from On the Origin of Species — it wouldn’t change their minds, but it would make me feel better.
[re=478698]chascates[/re]: ’cause, afterwards….with garlic and some nice couscous, maybe some honeyed carrots, lamb is delicious. Oh, and mint sauce, too.
[re=478680]mumblyjoe[/re]: Can I get an AMEN! I suggest we post those verses every couple of hours on that site’s guestbook or message board or what have you.
“Whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray while standing in synagogues and on street corners so that people can see them. Truly I say to you, they have their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:5-6)
[re=478694]gurukalehuru[/re]: You’re going to burn in Hell for saying that! Cuz Jeebus don’t like grammatical misteaks!
Why is their “news” page about some kinda FOSS software?
Hey, I just found St. Abraham’s likeness on a tortilla! Hey, it’s on this little copper coin as well! MIRACLES!!!
I thought that
a href=”http://s0.ilike.com/play#The+Doors:Petition+The+Lord+With+Prayer:27880:s29875694.8511857.12740719.0.1.82%2Cstd_6619307ef0a4b7d3aea24611bf3d06e7″>You cannot petition the Lord with prayer!
but, perhaps I was misinformed.
Funny how this country apparently didn’t need a spiritual “wake-up call” back when we were torturing people; holding them without access to medical care, lawyers or other human rights; invading countries based on lies; &c., etc.
Evangelicals are always bitching about the spiritual condition of the country, based on the diagnosis of THEIR particular niche God figure.
Actually, Christians, Muslims and Jews all believe in the same fake god.
[re=478705]ph7[/re]: “…even once getting inside catwoman.”
/fixed
Go easy on Jesus. He was a child of rape after all.
hmm… their flag, with a red cross on a black background, looks awfully familiar. Oh wait, I remember!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:VforVendettaNorsefire.jpg
[re=478730]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: I think only Our Lady of Guadalupe appears on tortillas.
If this God is so all-knowing and all-powerful why doesn’t He just do something on His own, rather than having to be begged into it? Why won’t Jesus comes back when He’s ready instead of waiting for Israel to take over all of the Mideast?
Pray all you want but you’re no more than cavemen fearing that the sun won’t rise.
Which intern will be dispatched to this horror show? I don’t want any of them to be eaten.
[re=478696]Flanders[/re]: I went and did their clicky poll, and had to click “indifferent” because I don’t think I mean the same thing they mean by “We really need to wake up.” I am not really indifferent – more like disgusted and dismayed by most of their ilk. By “we really need to wake up” I mean we need to get over the stupidity of organized religion (i.e. hypocrisy, manipulation, greed, control, etc). Not likely they interpret it that way.
Wasn’t there some hub-bub in the Jewish part of the Bible about praying to a non-Yahweh idol?
Christians suck at theology.
Check out their news page. Another wingnut internet failure.
Why are these people seeking to sidestep the Stool of Repentance?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stool_of_Repentance
Note to Tiger Woods: “An alternative to, or commutation of, the Stool of Repentance was payment of Buttock mail”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttock_mail
Excellent! They’ll all be in one place for the giant meteor strike, the one Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi and Jim Morrison are riding into town to smush all the hypocrites.
What?! It makes as much sense as anything else.
So when these Dominionists are praying to a great admirer of Darwin, does Baby Jesus cry?
A Jebus event? I can’t wait to see all the hateful, racist, misspelled homemade posters at that one!
[re=478745]Decker[/re]: Oh, its not just non-yahweh idols, its any idols, even idols of yahweh.
Please. 12 years of Catholic schools have totally put me off mass groveling for like, ever. Unless there’s a possibility of girl-on-boy sex.
[re=478689]4tehlulz[/re]: God gave him an extra hump.
Don’t the anarchists and the IWW usually rally there on Mayday? Should make for some interesting wars of words.
[re=478732]AggieDemocrat[/re]:
Funny how this country apparently didn’t need a spiritual “wake-up call” back when we were torturing people
We were torturing them for The LORD. It’s always ok then. WWJT and all.
[re=478707]bored with gravity[/re]: The die in died out.
…you can just be a complete fuck-up asshole and then get on your knees occasionally with a bunch of other fuck-up assholes to cry like little babies…
This is the guiding philosophy of the C Street House.
Jesus barfed.
[re=478722]Extemporanus[/re]: And what’s up with that chick’s lumpy ass? It’s called a thong, bitch—wear one!
We tried the “Huggies Thong-style Pull-ups” on our daughter. That didn’t work out so well. But damn, she was fashionable, until the “accident”.
[re=478753]bitchincamaro[/re]: Like you have to grovel for sex with Catholic girls.
[re=478713]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: It’s okay. Whichever escalator you want, won’t be working anyway.
[re=478643]Crank Tango[/re]: It’s good to see another Odinist here.
These guys probably do not realize the irony of holding their prayerathon at the memorial to a non-Christian.
[re=478661]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Seriously. Why not save your Jebusdollars and pray at your own damn church. What a bunch of fucking liars.
[re=478760]Come here a minute[/re]: This is the guiding philosophy of the C Street House.
I thought the purpose behind the C-street house was getting the “group discount” rate from escort services. That, and having a “room of one’s own” to get your freak on, kinda like a freshman dorm.
I honestly thought we were past this bullshit. What good were the 70′s,other than all that glorious guilt free sex and funny clothes, if these people
feel free to voice their nonsense without shame?
Look, either this god fellow is all-powerful and all-knowing or he isn’t. If he is, he already knows that you’re a fucked up lying hypocritical sack of shit and all this parading around in public acting all contrite is horseshit and he’s going to smite your ass. If he isn’t, he isn’t really a god now is he so you’re completely wasting your time and annoying the shit out of the rest of us so shut the fuck up.
Come and Pray because we aint doing nothin’ else for future generations! Sorry,asking the public to force the next generation to be dependant on your mass confessional about what shitheads you wanted to be in the face of progress just isn’t the kind of sturdy support they can ‘depend on’.
In fact, the ad should really say, “Come and Pray with genrations with Depends On!”
[re=478680]mumblyjoe[/re]: I thought this was snark, but then I looked it up. Impressive. Thank you.
[re=478680]mumblyjoe[/re]: There you go. Bringing Jesus into it. What’s he got to do with Christianity?
The neatest thing to happen is if the Rapture occurs while they’re all on the mall. Then all of those Left Behind can finally clean this fucking place up — after we remove (and borrow) all the unoccupied clothes on the mall, of course.
I guess I would be crying and pissing my depends if I saw a giant toddler about to stomp Lincoln memorial as portrayed in the photo.
[re=478769]JMP[/re]: From a letter written by a friend of Lincoln’s, written about 1870:
“He (Lincoln) did not believe in the efficacy of prayer, although he used that conventional language. He said in Washington, “God has his own purposes.” If God has his own purposes, then prayer will not change God’s purposes.
I have often said to you, and now repeat it, that Lincoln was a scientific materialist, i.e., that this was his tendency as opposed to the Spiritualistic idea. Lincoln always contended that general and universal laws ruled the Universe — always did — do now — and ever will. He was an Agnostic generally, sometimes an Atheist.
That Mr. Lincoln was an Infidel from 1834 to 1661, I know, and that he remained one to the day of his death, I honestly believe. I always understood that he was an Infidel, sometimes bordering on Atheism. I never saw any change in the man, and the change could not have escaped my observation had it happened.”
How do these religio-fascists get it so wrong?
[re=478764]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Sometimes ya gotta sacrifice fit for fashion, baby.
[re=478740]chascates[/re]: That’s the thing – according to the fundies’ own beliefs, their god is a total asshole; and really, I for one wouldn’t be willing to worship a creep like that. But, since these guys are assholes themselves, they get off on the idea of the smiting and the everlasting fire and brimstone.
Wait, Mayday at the Lincoln Memorial – that spoils my plans. I was going to sacrifice a lamb to Lincoln to cajole him into bring reason back to his party. Then have a nice BBQ. Now all these nut cases will be in the way and want a piece of lamb.
I love their poll:
“How do you rate the spiritual condition of our nation?”
We really need to wake up – 64.4%
They just couldn’t make themselves say “Wake sheeple!.” That would mean they don’t take themselves seriously and this is all a giant convoluted joke.
I think it would be far more “humbling to god” if they moaned at Lincoln in the middle of January.
“I just can’t keep it to myself”
you know, replace “jesus” with “my genitals”, and that’s a crime. and that’s how we feel about it. religion should be like your genitals. it’s fine to enjoy them, it’s fine to be proud of them, just keep them to yourself unless invited to share.
[re=478766]Gopherit[/re]: Shit, I been doing it wrong. I married a jack mormon girl.
BULLSHIT they aren’t doing this for media attention. If you want to get right with the baby Jebus, you find a nice quiet corner, get on your knees (not mandatory) and get right with baby Jebus. If you want the media to cover your junk like a media stunt so you can push your agenda, you do so at the Lincoln memorial with as many equally minded martyrdom syndrome suffering friends that you scraped off the internet.
Also I wonder how many Catholics will show up. That always gets me: Christians think they speak for everybody, but Catholics prove to be an inconvenient aberration, don’t they?
[re=478782]Gumboz1953[/re]: I fear you make the false assumption that there will be any uninhabited clothes on the mall.
This article isn’t Festive enough.
[re=478784]proudgrampa[/re]: Yeah; if Lincoln wasn’t an atheist, he was pretty close. But of course, many have disingenuously claimed he had converted shortly before death, and cherry-picked out of context quotes to make him look religious; just like with Jefferson, Darwin, Einstein, et al.
[re=478793]El Pinche[/re]: And none of the options are very good. My choice would be, “We need to wake up and stop with all this religion shit.”
Ha ha, Jesus never existed and is a pure myth.
What’s with the creepy Aryan Nations / Christian Identity flag to the right of Lincoln there? The separatists that want to take over South Carolina and make a Christian palmetto sodomy paradise of it? Some irony, that…
I wonder if the JCC will let them know the public rending of garments and repentence is a Jew thing, not really a New Testament/Christian thing at all. Seriously, where did Jesus ever tell people to do this, instead of living a good life? As opposed to just about every prophet in the Old Testament? Wasn’t the whole dying for our sins thing supposed to mean we don’t get the judgment we deserve, but forgiveness? Oops, there I go actually using logic in a religious context – never mind.
“Christian leaders”………..ha…….ha…….hahahahahahahahaha….ha…he……whew…..
You know who else rolled on the ground, moaning?
[re=478812]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Point taken. I just hope they all fly away. Heaven, hell, Lynchburg, I don’t care.
[re=478680]mumblyjoe[/re]: Since none of them have ever read it, they won’t know what your passages mean.
Interesting that these Christofundies use Psalms as one of their go-to verses, seeing as they were composed a couple centuries before their guy JC got shot out of Mama Mary’s nether bits, by some guy who in addition to being a brutal warrior and copious womanizer, also had a thing for his manservant Jonathan.
I love to remind my Christian friends what the 1st commandment is.
“Thou shall have no other god before me.”
Then I tell them that by accepting Jesus as their lord and savior they have broken the 1st commandment.
Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
[re=478760]Come here a minute[/re]: I thought that was the guiding philosophy of anyone who believes that “God” is sitting around waiting for us to repent in sackcloth and ashes.
I like your Jesus, but not his followers… unless smothered in barbeque sauce and slow roasted
over an open flame until tender.
Say, aren’t these the same folks whose ancestors usta offer up their neighbors as burnt offerings to Nuada and Avellunau on May Day?
[re=478655]El Pinche[/re]: What no bargaining? You skipped bargaining. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
I’m not sure that a bunch of thumpers having a hootenanny at the Lincoln dildo merits the expenditure of so much verbal violence. Apologies to JeffGoldblum, but as an idealist I prefer to think that Sophia Loren looks like God, and Abe looks like God’s lawyer.
Mass shoveling may move mountains, not mass groveling.
[re=478782]Gumboz1953[/re]: Honestly, if I had to choose between spending eternity with everyone who thinks they’re going to be raptured and dying horribly on earth with the rest of ‘em… well, I’m pretty sure I’d be fine dying horribly as an alternative to spending eternity with a bunch of insufferable, hatful bastards.
Though, this Slacktavist post says it the same thing, better than I do: http://slacktivist.typepad.com/slacktivist/2005/12/lb_the_rise_of_.html
[re=478857]twowheeljunkie[/re]: Meh, they have an end-run around that one: the Trinity is supposed to be the three co-equal branches of God.
Fun fact: The Holy Spirit is totally the Trinity’s version of the Activist Judiciary branch.
Quick! Somebody get me a dick suit and a burka!
Let’s get about 200 Wonketters together, and everyone will dress up as Orthodox rabbis, and we’ll all go down there and just start yelling, “GREEN BALLOONS! GREEN BALLOONS!”
That would be fun!
[re=478690]finallyhappy[/re]: I’m a wholy wheat Pastafarian not a bleached flour Pastafarian
Red and yellow black and white,
they’re all precious in His sight,
[re=478647]thefrontpage[/re]: What? No Lingerie League football?
I, for one, am furious at these Jesus freaks attempting to usurp May 1, the international Socialist Worker’s Holiday.
Solidarity forever!
Personally, I worship a being tall enough to see over the top of the Lincoln Memorial building. And she is still a child, not yet fully grown! Have mercy, Lord Kathy, and do not crush me underfoot!
[re=478927]Snarkalicious[/re]: Here’s a Joe Wilson costume, I think that’ll work.
Everyone go to the site and vote, or does that give them money from clicks?
[re=478914]mumblyjoe[/re]: Yea. And all the other stuff, to numerous to name, that were absolved in the
“New and Everlasting Covenant.”
[re=478914]mumblyjoe[/re]: Holy Ghost appears here:
http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_life_of_jesus/jesus_is_born_02/lk01_35.html
(And is the real father of the ‘Jesus’.)
Actually this one is first:
http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_life_of_jesus/jesus_is_born_02/lk01_34.html
Then the Holy Ghost comes on Mary.
[re=478686]SayItWithWookies[/re]: ditto!!!!1!
Also.
[re=478834]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Good God, don’t ruin it for them by telling them they can’t pick and choose which stuff matters at any given moment!
[re=479028]Whatever Blows Your Skirt[/re]: SHIT!! now I’m a ditto head. Damn.
again (since its been said so many times) if your worried about the country and you want to pray for it then STAY THE FUCK HOME AND SNIVEL THERE, AND STAY OUTTA DC!!! See: Matthew 6:5-6
[re=478748]sowbelly[/re]: Well, reading those links, i was enlightened as to the state of the Taliban in Great Britain, circa 17th century. No great wonder they’re all atheists now.
[re=478658]user-of-owls[/re]: I suggest doing it in the ancient British fashion, with drinking, dancing and screwing.
Why is there “News” page filled with stuff about “Joomla”?
[re=479017]chascates[/re]: about 14 pages after the holy ghost comes upon her, she gives birth to the baby from Eraserhead. WTF?
[5] And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
[6] But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
[7] But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
[8] Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 6
I pray they all get rectal cancer. And cankers around their lips. I hope they get fucking Herod’s Disease and see what Dr. House makes of that shit. Let them writhe in agony as contemptuous young medical interns crowd around looking up their ass while they breathe complain and gnash their teeth. Maketh them to shitteth their guts out screaming. Please, Lord… Please.
Thanks… Peace… Amen.
proudgrampa — “How do these religio-fascists get it so wrong?”
They assume that whatever they like MUST be true, because it would be so nice if it were true and so unsettling if it were false. They have a whole pseudo-history, with all the better known Americans “born-again,” just like themselves. Particularly the Founding Fathers, who, in reality, were mostly deists, that is, unitarians. Jefferson was frequently damned in print by the born-agains of the day. Likewise, many have a false memory that they used to be the majority, everything used to be done their way, there was no crime or anything bad, blah, blah, blah.
[re=478760]Come here a minute[/re]: And they think the elected leaders are the reincarnation of King David. So various indiscretions (especially adultery) don’t count.
This Christian thinks that some other folks need to pay attention to Matthew 6:5, as quoted above. She also doesn’t have to set a date on the calendar and deal with airplanes, hotels, etc., to repent of her sins and pray for her country.
WAIT A MINUTE! Do I see MINARETS IN THE BANNER!?! ZOMG MUSLINS! MUSLINS! They’re COMING FOR US!
it’s even scarier cos it’s in red. Oh, that’s the capital building? Wait… Capital building has a minaret too? No? Oh, it’s a dome cos it’s not muslin.
How rapidly did the global population of people I hate grow to include nearly everyone but me.
Whose rumpled child is that? America’s? Ugh…fuck these people.
you know what would be awesome? Gay marriage march on the same day!
[re=478676]gurukalehuru[/re]: Maybe he would have been President, but he would’ve had to pay for Michelle’s freedom. That would have been embarrassing for the First Lady!
“To moan at Abraham Lincoln” — what an awesome potential book title, BTW — would not at all be inappropriate. I’m sure many a folks moaned at Lincoln, with him having big hands and big feet and all…in fact, it is quite impressive if you’re able to give someone a “moaning Lincoln.” Jus sayin’
To be far, many of the people on this group’s committee SHOULD beg for forgiveness,such as:
Jerome Corsi
Tim Wildmon
Jerry Boykin
[re=478713]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: They think/imagine/hope that we will fear them.
So, they’re going to pray, publicly, with much repetition, in front of a monument designed to look like a Greco-Roman temple. Inside this tem- erm, monument, is a giant stone statue of a man who has been all but deified in the national consciousness. On May Day.
How is it that these people think they’re not Pagan?
Comments on this entry are closed.