That thing you were just saying the Internet was definitely missing? It is HERE: Look no further than Newt Gingrich’s grammatically indiscriminate new web magazine, “The Americano”, of course! (Editor Ken Layne points out that “El Americano” has naturally already been dibs’ed by what appears to be a high school dating back to 2005 A.D.) So, what lies therein, bilingually curious webzine? Mostly pieces about Catholicism and its arbitrarily assigned discontents (i.e. gays, people who want to secularize Christmas, etc.) Do not delay in buying friends and family members invaluable lifetime RSS subscriptions for El Christmas. [The Americano via Dave Weigel]

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  1. The first story on the Daily-Beast-like slideshow is “President Obama’s Speech at Nobel Price Ceremony.”

    Now that I know that it’s a price, and not a prize, the whole war/peace thing makes a lot more sense.

  2. In the tradition of Andrew Breitbart’s Big Hollywood and Big Politics, it’s Newt Gingrich’s Big Asshole. If there’s one thing that there’s a dearth of, it’s websites where conservatives can circle-jerk their horrible ideas and lament how the liberal media totally misrepresented their huge successes of the Dubya era.

  3. Ordering an ‘Americano’ in Italy gets you a diluted cup of stewed second-hand grounds with rancid milk that tastes like shit and costs three times as much as an espresso. Obviously what inspired this site.

  4. [re=477995]grevillea[/re]: Spain, too. It’s pretty much la bebida internacionál, I.e., universally disgusting.

    Oh, and Señor Newt, ¡chíngate!

  5. Wait, I thought we Hebrew Jews were at fault for secular christmas (I’m still lobbying for the sacrifice of a pure white lamb to Astarte as part of the official christmas celebration). Thank G-d Newt’s blaming someone else for a change.

  6. I thought The Americano (as opposed to El Americano, which I’m not opposed to. Either.) is a godawful drink with that nasty yellow liqueur and other dreck. Known locally as a cruel prank European bartenders play on stupid American tourists. But I repeat myself. Again.

  7. El Americano’s site is simply

    “January 10th, 2005 – Class T-shirts will be available on Wednesday!”

    “January 17th, 2005 – Absolut Seniors shirts are not allowed in school.”

    It’s just like government!

  8. Gingrich Launches Spanish-Language Conservative Web Magazine

    Jola, ustedes job-stealing immigros criminales. El Organicion Republicano de Personas Blancas Y Muy Ricas se buscan sus vo-tes … fook it … jasta your are deported.

  9. There is no Catholic worst than a fake…er…conversion — yeah, that sounds right — Catholic.

    No mas, Nuerto Gringorich; no mas, por favor.

  10. [re=477963]uncletravelingmatt[/re]:

    With articles titled, “How to Survive Unemployment? I just say be Positive.” it has got to be The Onion.[re=477963]uncletravelingmatt[/re]:

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