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Newt Gingrich Would Like To Chat Online, In Espanol Por Favor

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That thing you were just saying the Internet was definitely missing? It is HERE: Look no further than Newt Gingrich’s grammatically indiscriminate new web magazine, “The Americano”, of course! (Editor Ken Layne points out that “El Americano” has naturally already been dibs’ed by what appears to be a high school dating back to 2005 A.D.) So, what lies therein, bilingually curious webzine? Mostly pieces about Catholicism and its arbitrarily assigned discontents (i.e. gays, people who want to secularize Christmas, etc.) Do not delay in buying friends and family members invaluable lifetime RSS subscriptions for El Christmas. [The Americano via Dave Weigel]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Suds McKenzie

    Typical, my works firewall totally let me in to “The Americano”.

  • Ducksworthy

    El Estupido

  • depraved indifference engine

    The first story on the Daily-Beast-like slideshow is “President Obama’s Speech at Nobel Price Ceremony.”

    Now that I know that it’s a price, and not a prize, the whole war/peace thing makes a lot more sense.

  • WadISay

    Ninos! You have been told, have you not, of el Chupacabra, si? How he is tall, slender and black, and may have been born in Kenya?

  • SayItWithWookies

    In the tradition of Andrew Breitbart’s Big Hollywood and Big Politics, it’s Newt Gingrich’s Big Asshole. If there’s one thing that there’s a dearth of, it’s websites where conservatives can circle-jerk their horrible ideas and lament how the liberal media totally misrepresented their huge successes of the Dubya era.

  • uncletravelingmatt

    I call bullshit. I recognize The Onion when I see it.

    Couldn’t find the AV Club, though.

  • CrazyDrumGuy

    As usual, the only solution is more Siemens.

  • thedownlows

    For those of you who don’t habla newt-speak, the Americano is english for el Americano

  • chascates

    No trabajo? El voto republicano!

  • JMP

    What did Latinos ever do to deserve this?

  • grevillea

    “Congresista Mike Pence” is the worst drag act ever. It’s like he’s not even trying.

  • geminisunmars

    This means libruls won’t have to work so hard to cultivate the Latino vote.

  • Come here a minute


  • Paul Tardy

    No eye nada en rela-see-on a Afghanistan. ¿Pork-ee? Hablo como Americano, get it. Ja Ja Ja.

  • Gopherit

    I do love it when Newt preaches to everyone about abstinence. I hope he dies of penis rot.

  • Way Cool Larry

    oh my god, start a conservative webzine– the Americas are turning red!

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Fat adulterous fuck says what, ahora?

  • grevillea

    Ordering an ‘Americano’ in Italy gets you a diluted cup of stewed second-hand grounds with rancid milk that tastes like shit and costs three times as much as an espresso. Obviously what inspired this site.

  • FlownOver

    [re=477995]grevillea[/re]: Spain, too. It’s pretty much la bebida internacionál, I.e., universally disgusting.

    Oh, and Señor Newt, ¡chíngate!

  • edgydrifter

    He can see Felipe Calderon’s rearing cabeza from his back porch. Tambien.

  • bureaucrap

    Wait, I thought we Hebrew Jews were at fault for secular christmas (I’m still lobbying for the sacrifice of a pure white lamb to Astarte as part of the official christmas celebration). Thank G-d Newt’s blaming someone else for a change.

  • Sweet Baby Cheeses

    I’m pretty sure The Americano is just Mexican translated into American. Andele! Andele!

  • Tundra Grifter

    I thought The Americano (as opposed to El Americano, which I’m not opposed to. Either.) is a godawful drink with that nasty yellow liqueur and other dreck. Known locally as a cruel prank European bartenders play on stupid American tourists. But I repeat myself. Again.

  • thesheriffisnear

    Fittingly the only Spanish word I know is pendejo.

  • Katydid

    La Cucaracha was taken, by DeLay, obvs.

  • btwbfdimho

    And don’t forget de botar a todos los republicanos.

  • rocktonsammy

    Listen up illegals!!!

  • President Beeblebrox

    How do you say “The Americano” in Messican?

  • Hunger Tallest Palin

    Next up from Newt: My Niggas. An on-line mag aimed at African-Americans.

  • Davidwatts

    El Americano’s site is simply

    “January 10th, 2005 – Class T-shirts will be available on Wednesday!”

    “January 17th, 2005 – Absolut Seniors shirts are not allowed in school.”

    It’s just like government!

  • S.Luggo

    Gingrich Launches Spanish-Language Conservative Web Magazine

    Jola, ustedes job-stealing immigros criminales. El Organicion Republicano de Personas Blancas Y Muy Ricas se buscan sus vo-tes … fook it … jasta your are deported.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    There is no Catholic worst than a fake…er…conversion — yeah, that sounds right — Catholic.

    No mas, Nuerto Gringorich; no mas, por favor.

  • PineyWoodster


    With articles titled, “How to Survive Unemployment? I just say be Positive.” it has got to be The Onion.[re=477963]uncletravelingmatt[/re]: