IN TIME FOR WEBBYS?  4:43 pm December 14, 2009

Newt Gingrich Would Like To Chat Online, In Espanol Por Favor

by Juli Weiner

That thing you were just saying the Internet was definitely missing? It is HERE: Look no further than Newt Gingrich’s grammatically indiscriminate new web magazine, “The Americano”, of course! (Editor Ken Layne points out that “El Americano” has naturally already been dibs’ed by what appears to be a high school dating back to 2005 A.D.) So, what lies therein, bilingually curious webzine? Mostly pieces about Catholicism and its arbitrarily assigned discontents (i.e. gays, people who want to secularize Christmas, etc.) Do not delay in buying friends and family members invaluable lifetime RSS subscriptions for El Christmas. [The Americano via Dave Weigel]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 33 comments }

Suds McKenzie December 14, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Typical, my works firewall totally let me in to “The Americano”.

Ducksworthy December 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

El Estupido

depraved indifference engine December 14, 2009 at 4:56 pm

The first story on the Daily-Beast-like slideshow is “President Obama’s Speech at Nobel Price Ceremony.”

Now that I know that it’s a price, and not a prize, the whole war/peace thing makes a lot more sense.

WadISay December 14, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Ninos! You have been told, have you not, of el Chupacabra, si? How he is tall, slender and black, and may have been born in Kenya?

SayItWithWookies December 14, 2009 at 4:58 pm

In the tradition of Andrew Breitbart’s Big Hollywood and Big Politics, it’s Newt Gingrich’s Big Asshole. If there’s one thing that there’s a dearth of, it’s websites where conservatives can circle-jerk their horrible ideas and lament how the liberal media totally misrepresented their huge successes of the Dubya era.

uncletravelingmatt December 14, 2009 at 5:02 pm

I call bullshit. I recognize The Onion when I see it.

Couldn’t find the AV Club, though.

CrazyDrumGuy December 14, 2009 at 5:03 pm

As usual, the only solution is more Siemens.

thedownlows December 14, 2009 at 5:04 pm

For those of you who don’t habla newt-speak, the Americano is english for el Americano

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEoHz56jWGY

chascates December 14, 2009 at 5:05 pm

No trabajo? El voto republicano!

JMP December 14, 2009 at 5:06 pm

What did Latinos ever do to deserve this?

grevillea December 14, 2009 at 5:08 pm

“Congresista Mike Pence” is the worst drag act ever. It’s like he’s not even trying.

geminisunmars December 14, 2009 at 5:09 pm

This means libruls won’t have to work so hard to cultivate the Latino vote.

Come here a minute December 14, 2009 at 5:10 pm

I DON’T WANT TO PRESS ONE FOR ENGLISH

Paul Tardy December 14, 2009 at 5:10 pm

No eye nada en rela-see-on a Afghanistan. ¿Pork-ee? Hablo como Americano, get it. Ja Ja Ja.

Gopherit December 14, 2009 at 5:14 pm

I do love it when Newt preaches to everyone about abstinence. I hope he dies of penis rot.

Way Cool Larry December 14, 2009 at 5:15 pm

oh my god, start a conservative webzine– the Americas are turning red!

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 14, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Fat adulterous fuck says what, ahora?

grevillea December 14, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Ordering an ‘Americano’ in Italy gets you a diluted cup of stewed second-hand grounds with rancid milk that tastes like shit and costs three times as much as an espresso. Obviously what inspired this site.

FlownOver December 14, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=477995]grevillea[/re]: Spain, too. It’s pretty much la bebida internacionál, I.e., universally disgusting.

Oh, and Señor Newt, ¡chíngate!

edgydrifter December 14, 2009 at 5:44 pm

He can see Felipe Calderon’s rearing cabeza from his back porch. Tambien.

bureaucrap December 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Wait, I thought we Hebrew Jews were at fault for secular christmas (I’m still lobbying for the sacrifice of a pure white lamb to Astarte as part of the official christmas celebration). Thank G-d Newt’s blaming someone else for a change.

Sweet Baby Cheeses December 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

I’m pretty sure The Americano is just Mexican translated into American. Andele! Andele!

Tundra Grifter December 14, 2009 at 6:08 pm

I thought The Americano (as opposed to El Americano, which I’m not opposed to. Either.) is a godawful drink with that nasty yellow liqueur and other dreck. Known locally as a cruel prank European bartenders play on stupid American tourists. But I repeat myself. Again.

thesheriffisnear December 14, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Fittingly the only Spanish word I know is pendejo.

Katydid December 14, 2009 at 7:24 pm

La Cucaracha was taken, by DeLay, obvs.

btwbfdimho December 14, 2009 at 7:39 pm

And don’t forget de botar a todos los republicanos.

rocktonsammy December 14, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Listen up illegals!!!

President Beeblebrox December 14, 2009 at 8:44 pm

How do you say “The Americano” in Messican?

Hunger Tallest Palin December 14, 2009 at 8:51 pm

Next up from Newt: My Niggas. An on-line mag aimed at African-Americans.

Davidwatts December 14, 2009 at 10:01 pm

El Americano’s site is simply the.absolute.best:

“January 10th, 2005 – Class T-shirts will be available on Wednesday!”

“January 17th, 2005 – Absolut Seniors shirts are not allowed in school.”

It’s just like government!

S.Luggo December 14, 2009 at 11:46 pm

Gingrich Launches Spanish-Language Conservative Web Magazine

Jola, ustedes job-stealing immigros criminales. El Organicion Republicano de Personas Blancas Y Muy Ricas se buscan sus vo-tes … fook it … jasta your are deported.

LowerdPeninsula December 15, 2009 at 1:52 am

There is no Catholic worst than a fake…er…conversion — yeah, that sounds right — Catholic.

No mas, Nuerto Gringorich; no mas, por favor.

PineyWoodster December 15, 2009 at 8:31 am

[re=477963]uncletravelingmatt[/re]:

With articles titled, “How to Survive Unemployment? I just say be Positive.” it has got to be The Onion.[re=477963]uncletravelingmatt[/re]:

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