uh just say it's about fox news

Whoa, Wait, Don’t Foxes EAT Kitties?


It’s always the War On Xmas somewhere, which is why we feel obligated to bring you this video of … uh, a fox trying to move in on some cat food thrown around the entrance of a building? Yeah but the cat is all I do not think so, you fuck. Anyway, don’t miss the Sunday News Chat Shows from Washington! Sure to be good ones, today. [YouTube via Choire]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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69 comments

  1. AndHesEatingBurgers!

    Right wing political commentary? Obama (black white pussy) is tring to spread the wealth of cat food to other kittehs. FOX News (fox) is trying to sto this! Needs more Bachmann (wide eyed owls).

  2. Extemporanus

    Seriously, though, Ken?

    What the hell does a video of LiLo bitching out the Olsen twins for purging on her patio have to do with the Sunday News Chat Shows?

    Wait…ohhh…now I get it.

  3. LowerdPeninsula

    [re=477184]Extemporanus[/re]: LOL!

    The fox was all like “let me up this bitch, bitches.” And the kittehs were all like “Bitch, back up.” And the fox was all like “bring it, bitch.” And the kittehs were all like “it’s already been broughten.” And the fox was “Oh yeah?…well, I’m going to go kill some other kittehs, tonight.” And the kittehs were all like “Oh well.”

    Fin.

    Now, where’s my check?

  4. LowerdPeninsula

    Oh, I forgot to relay before the fox slinked away he yelled “With all due respect, in the most unparliamentary language, Fuck you, Deputy Kittehs, fuck you.”

    Also.

  5. gurukalehuru

    O.K., this is all very cute and at least it’s a change from that Irish fucker, but this is a seriously lame weekend at Wonkette. Did Peggy Noonan write NOTHING on Friday?

  6. gurukalehuru

    O.K., I went in through Drudge. Peggy wants to like Barry, she really does, but somehow he just doesn’t inspire warmth. All those tuxedoes, and balls and Hollywood.

    Ronald Reagan never did stuff like that.

  7. LowerdPeninsula

    [re=477190]gurukalehuru[/re]: With a few more jello shots and a few more hits-o-vicodin, I’m sure Pegs could fantasize about Reagan while she writes praises for Barry, and not feel guilty about it. You know, fake it to make it.

  8. el donaldo

    No, foxes don’t really eat cats. Coyotes do, though. Just don’t want those cats getting all cocky and stuff.

  9. RoscoePColtraine

    …the fox then moved around to the other side of the building, where he discovered a litter of tasty kittens who had been left home alone while their parents went out to eat…

  10. Clever_Sobriquet

    I can haz foxburger?

    But seriously, face to face, a cat is a lethal fighting machine. Just try giving one a bath without you kevlar underwear on.

  11. bureaucrap

    [re=477182]AndHesEatingBurgers![/re]: Just the other way around. This is clearly a fable. Big Fat cat represents Goldman Sachs; fox represents ACORN/SEIU. But the law of the jungle ultimately prevails — the fox, though hungrier and needier, is thwarted by the cultural assumption that only kittehs can have kitteh food.
    .

  12. x111e7thst

    I have a little Jack Russel bitch that regularly chases the neighborhood cats away from their food. She is about the size of the fox in question. Of course her dam used to go down into the dens and start foxes back out. Unless she killed them underground. In which case we often had to come back woith shovels and dig her out at the conclusion of the hunt. Tally Ho

  13. Redhead

    [re=477209]Suds McKenzie[/re]: You know, I’m so glad Megs said this. I mean, it’s not like soldiers EVER come back from war and then kill, or try to kill, their families. Especially not at Fort Bragg in the last couple years.
    And it’s not like Marines at Camp Lejeune ever kill each other – they especially never set their mistresses/fellow marines on fire after cutting their mistress’s baby out of her stomach and then bury her in the backyard and then run to Mexico. Nope, they never do that.

    She’s right, liberal elite Hollywood needs to start making films that show what war is REALLY like. Not this pansy violent crap, when everyone knows “PTSD” is just a term liberal elites made up to end the war. REAL soldiers never get PTSD – like Megs’s dad. He certainly NEVER came back from FIVE AND A HALF YEARS and did left his wife or drank constantly or anything else resembling this made up “PTSD.” Nope, never.

  14. Oldskool

    Once had a female pekinese that regularly got in the face of the pit bull next door. She was like something out of Jersey Shore.

  15. x111e7thst

    [re=477209]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Our brave Marines would also NEVER robotrip on cough syrup with Dextromethorphan, or make Pruno (it can be made from ketchup) in a garbage bag. because an FOB in Iraq is so mind numbingly boring that you make out with your buddies who are as anything but gay as you just for something to do.

  16. Aurelio

    The fox in this video is a pet. Here is a viddy of the same cat playing with the fox when the fox was a kit, cub or pup, guppy, or whatever you call a young fox. So you see, the family that preys together stays together.

  17. WIDTAP

    Oh I get it. It’s like an allegory for the Democrats. They talk big game but if a couple of Repugs wave a declawed paw at the they high=tail it back to the woods.

  18. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=477206]Clever_Sobriquet[/re]: You could probably leave the testicle/vagina armor off if you didn’t get into the tub with the cat.

  19. fatherfigure

    Man, is this some kind of deep allegory for the heath care bill, or really anything, life or something?

  20. x111e7thst

    [re=477217]Suds McKenzie[/re]: I had the impression he might have been in VN. Lots of good drugs and talented hookers there. Like Afghanistan. Where you can get marijuana, hash, opium or heroin everywhere, cheap. And some pretty nice Russian and Chinese girls, at least in Kabul and Mazar. Probably also in Kunduz and Herat though maybe not in Kandahar.

    If I had to do a tour I’d much rather be in Afghanistan, despite the relatively greater likelihood of getting my ass blown off.

  21. SmutBoffin

    [re=477219]WIDTAP[/re]: [re=477223]fatherfigure[/re]: [re=477224]you cannot be serious[/re]: Sometimes a cat-fight is just a cat-fight.

  22. fatherfigure

    Right, pull good old Dr. Freud in. Let’s parse that shit, shall we? “Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.” OK, so why is this statement necessary at all? A: because Freud knows that nothing is simply what it appears to be, least of all something so full of ‘metaphysical subtleties’ as fucking smoking: the man had half his damn face removed and still kept it up. What Freud is really saying there is “Yes, I know, Fuck off. I wanna big dong, now please just leave me alone to enjoy this for once, God…”

    So the question remains: What is this LOLFox v. LOLCat fight really saying? Why should it be worthy of dissemination and commentary? The answer is that life is shit shit SHIT.

  23. BlueStateLibtard

    “Suicides among soldiers in 2008 rose for the fourth year in a row, reaching the highest level in nearly three decades, Army officials said Thursday.”–NY Times

    No, Megan, it’s not like the Iraqi war isn’t messing with a lot of their heads, right?

  24. Neilist

    /Snark Off

    That reminds me of the raccoons in Marin County when I was a kid. You City Slickers probably don’t realize that a 20 lb. raccoon can go through a 25 lb. bag of Purina Cat Chow in one sitting, without pausing even for a beer chaser.

    And when your Siamese cats started that Kung Foo-Fighting, “Back Off, MUTHERFOOKER!” growling thingie, the raccoon will just glance at them contemptuously, and keep right on eating.

    Raccoons, of course, being Big Fans of Travis “You talking to me?” Bickle. Or possibly Tuco, from “The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly”:

    [Tuco is in a bubble bath. The One Armed Man enters the room]
    One Armed Man: I’ve been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.
    [Tuco kills him with the gun he has hidden in the foam]
    Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot, don’t talk.

    /Snark On

    Of course, if that faggoty, poetry-quoting fox had a handgun, he’d be back home with a full stomach. But all foxes are LYBURALS, aren’t they?

    It’s the wolves who are Republicans . . . or maybe just the . . . .

    WOOOLLLLLVERI . . . .

    :::Oh, wait, I forgot again:::

    BBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEERRRRRSSSSTTTTIIICCCCKKKK! AVENGE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  25. the problem child

    [re=477193]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Urban raccoons like kitteh food so much that they come up my fire escape and into my kitchen for it if I leave the door open in the summer. They wash it in the conveniently placed water dishes.

  26. Neilist

    [re=477193]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: As I said, a gang of masked CRIMINALS! They probably all voted for the Kenyan Mulatto Hope!

  27. Hooray For Anything

    [re=477190]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yeah, Barry needs to smile and laugh and hang out with celebrities more so people will think he’s more likeable. That makes sense to me cause absolutely nobody would criticize him for acting light-hearted in the midst or a recession and two wars.

  28. gurukalehuru

    [re=477209]Suds McKenzie[/re]: No, Megan, if we learned anything at all from Viet Nam it should be DON’T GET INVOLVED IN A LAND WAR IN ASIA. Fucking moran twat.

  29. Hooray For Anything

    [re=477238]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I meant “That makes sense to me cause absolutely nobody would criticize him for acting light-hearted in the midst of a recession and two wars.”

    Sometimes hangovers can be bad.

  30. the problem child

    So, did any of you lazy hungover fookers follow Our Wonkette’s instructions to watch the Sunday morning politics shows?

    That’s what I thought. No cable is my excuse.

  31. Vulpes82

    On behalf of vulpophiles everywhere, all I want to say is: Fuck all y’all, foxes are awesome! On a more serious note, that fox looks to me like a young’in, a “teenager” perhaps. He’s probably only just left the den and has not yet fully developed the stealth and cunning necessary to defeat a Sumo Kitteh. Because, seriously, look at that cat! It’s enormous!

  32. peeno nwar

    [re=477249]Vulpes82[/re]: Pfft. Unless you’re wrong about the age of the fox, that cat is no more than 12 pounds. That is not large for a domestic cat. Foxes do not eat kittehs. Coyotes do, not foxes. Know why? Because kittehs are the meanest thing in their own weight class. I would rather meet a dozen coyotes than one kitteh that weighs as much as a coyote.

    Barry can take any other president his own weight, no contest.

  33. Berkeley Bear

    Foxes do not kill cats. Kittens, bunnies, and especially rabbit kits – hell yeah. Only time I saw a fox in our neighborhood was the day after my kids found a litter of kits in an exposed spot of the house. Day after, no more kits – and somewhere, a fox with a badly distended stomach.

  34. Scooter

    I feel sorry for the homeless fox, but I guess drastic times called for drastic measures down at the henhouse.

  35. LowerdPeninsula

    [re=477260]Landstander[/re]: “Not in Obama’s America!”

    I know! Wake up, sheeple. Wake up!

  36. Darkness

    Oh yeah, all kinds of metaphor here. The Foxnews slinks up out of the hoary shadows, whines out the victim card and tries to steal some cool from the black/white Obamacat. But like a laser-guided lightening strike, the Obamacat lashes out. And lashes out. Giving no ground, even when the Foxnews tries to slip in from behind.

    The moral of the story? You are an illegitimate scrawny bitch, Foxnews.

  37. Dolmance

    That is a very young, inexperienced fox who is being treated with an extreme level of disrespect. But she also appears to be well fed and healthy, so I imagine as she gets a little older, a little wiser and a little hungrier, she’ll leave some pretty gruesome bloodstains on that sidewalk.

    I wish that fox lived at my house. She’d have chicken in the morning, chicken in the evening, chicken at suppertime. And our cats would treat her with the respect she deserves because she’s such a fox.

  38. iolanthe

    [re=477320]Dolmance[/re]: I agree. That is a novice fox! A bigger fox wouldn’t come to the bowl as a supplicant, he or she would sneak up behind the cat, kill it, and come to the bowl as a conqueror.

  39. Dolmance

    Is suggesting that all foxes like to eat is chicken anything like saying all black people like chicken? Or is it a complete stereotype?

Comments are closed.