There’s always that one self-righteous nerd-ass kid. Instead of wanting a Wii or those Chinese-robot hamsters or a new bong, he just wants a contribution sent to the Free Tibet fund or whatever. And that’s exactly the audience for today’s holiday propaganda from Barack Obama’s MySpace account.
You know what, “Mitch Stewart” of “BarackObama.com”? THERE IS NOBODY WHO WISHES FOR “HEALTH REFORM” FOR FUCKING CHRISTMAS. Surely there are people who would like maybe a life-saving operation or something, maybe even something as tangible as “health insurance for my sick children,” etc., but this virtual holiday eCard is just pissing everybody off, so stop it. Stop sending these obnoxious things in the Email. [We are not linking to this because, if you "send it to your senators," it just bounces you to a give-money-to-Obama's campaign site. Fuck off.]
{ 49 comments }
Where’s the Christ?
Whats a “MySpace”?
I want Healthcare Reform for Valentine’s Day.
Dragons don’t grok Christmas.
i just want a lump of coal. and a match. and some lighter fluid. and a pot to piss in. and a window to throw it out of. and a passing wingnut for the load to land on. that’s all.
My Kwanzaa wish is for meaningful oversight of the derivatives market.
You can wish for holiday health care but only if you’re asking Santa for breast implants or a stocking full of Viagra.
[re=476030]chascates[/re]: You expect anything less from a Muslim? War on Xmas alert!
“Community Organizing for Amerka”
Don’t wish for it, do it !
Dear Barack:
My elves and I have received your Christmas request for HealthCare reform. Unfortunately, we are unable to supply it at this time. However, in keeping with the spirit of the season, Mrs. Claus suggested that we substitute items from Lindsey Graham’s list (he asked for 10 sheets of 40 grit sandpaper, a box of Kleenex, a case of Crisco, and a 16-inch dildo embossed with John McCain’s name in 14-karat gold plate). The elves figured that while you yourself probably couldn’t use these, you had your own list of naughty Congressfolk who would be more than happy to receive these as gifts.
Again, sorry for the inconvenience. Maybe next year.
Yours truly,
Santa
Yeah, what would a stocking full of Health Reform even look like? And who would be able to stop a grinch from stealing it?
That’s for real? Puh. Coal in the stocking!
I wish to be the one to decide who lives and who dies.
[meekly] I want health reform for Christmas. Really. Don’t hit me, Ken.
I’d like a stable job for the Christ Mass. Just sayin’.
And, just to point this out before Sean Hannity does, by “Health Reform,” they mean “Free Abortions for Illegal Aliens.”
Wait – MySpace is still around?
And the Healthmas bells that ring there are the clanging
chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
You know what will be way more fun and infinitely more significant than whatever bullshit health care reform they won’t even actually pass? A remote control car. Barack Obama owes every American a remote controlled car for Christmas, or whatever the muslim equivalent of christmas is.
I find myself agreeing with SkoalRebel more and more each day.
WHY DOES THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION HATE WORLD PEACE?!
Aw sweet, Barry just gave the wingnuts a Christmas present.
Mitch Stewart shit my pants.
[re=476070]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Making sweet love to Joe Biden would be a venerable alternative. Also.
[re=476098]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Fucking Joe Biden IS Christmas!
I would be happy if Sarah Palin got her jaw wired shut.
Muslin Xmas card colors are red, white and blue.
Nice.
May the Obama administration always be remembered for it’s superior use of clipart and photoshop textures.
[re=476070]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Screw that. I want a flying car. Popular Mechanics assured me I would have one by now and I’M TIRED OF WAITING.
Mitch really misfired on that one. But for Pagan Solstice, he wants to see a woman naked, for the first time.
The health care bells go chingalingaling for you, but not for me…
I wish you all a socialized medical system for x-mas. Stat. Seriously.
What bullshit. What do you think Obama wants for Christmas (or whatever Al Eid Hannukabar thing he does)? Seriously, what do you think he really, truly wants? I think he wants to be remembered as this inspirational Jesus type of deal for 2010. I am so mad at him right now that wild teabagger fantasies are running through my head, like, someone goes and smashes his tELePr0mTer$ while he’s up there talking some bullshit. Then what do ya do baby? Then you come home crying to mama (he calls me mama in the fantasy).
I think they’re just fuckin’ with Glenn Beck.
[re=476131]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: EHH???
This Santabama, does he bring pot, too? I’m good in the bong department already.
[re=476070]JeffGoldblum[/re]: A remote-control car with a little doctor inside of it!
Dr. Bong, please report to the rc-room, immediately.
[re=476118]x111e7thst[/re]: I was promised a flying car, too, in the early 1960s at Logan Elementary School in Industry, Pennsylvania. In fact, I was shown pictures. By the same teacher told the class President Kennedy’s father was nothing but a filthy Irish bootlegger who was in league with Hitler — and THAT turned out to be true.
All Rod Jetton’s mistress wants is her two front teeth.
Instead of wanting a Wii or those Chinese-robot hamsters or a new bong,
HCR includes (or should) the legalization of marajuana.
Alls I wants for my Christmakwanzakah (say it slowly, and in five syllables) is a new digicam, y nada mas. Tambien.
As for your wish, Mr. Obama, Robo/MechaSanta says: Does not compute.
[re=476152]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Ha Ha
This is our arsenal on the War on Xmas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPVuHP3OXk0
Maybe Santa will leave some balls under Harry Reid’s tree…
Well, it’s not really a wish but more of a vain hope.
[re=476196]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: I celebrate HanuKwanzMas, myself.
I want health care reform for kwanza. Fake reform for a made up holiday.
If Barack is not buying me a personal monkey butler for christmas, as he repeatedly promised on the campaign trail, I’m voting for Palin.
[re=476683]JSparks[/re]: Right, because every other holiday wasn’t made-up, right? Jesus shat out Christmas from his ass In the Beginning, and it always was and will alwayts be, right? Fuck you, too.
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