WAR ON XMAS GIFT GUIDE  2:17 pm December 10, 2009

Oh And Buy The Obama Dragon While You’re At It

by Jim Newell

Terrify your friends and lovers this War on Christmas with a customized “dragon” metaphor for Barack Obama’s love of fire and war! “Our, limited edition, collectible dragon statue showcases Barack Obama as a fiercely committed young dragon of mystic strength.” Supposedly the buyer would purchase this catastrophe as a desk decoration, like for work. Awful. [Design Toscano]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 69 comments }

AnnieGetYourFun December 10, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Yes, whenever I think of dragons, I think of “fierce commitment.”

shadowMark December 10, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Tonight when I chase the dragon
The water will change to cherry wine
And the silver will turn to gold
Time out of mind

chascates December 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm

There’s a pretty big amount of worse crap:

http://conservativebuys.com/cgi-bin/shop/shop/antiobama

grendel December 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Did they slap Jimmy Carter’s caricature’s teeth on that thing? Why do they portray Democratic Presidents with big teeth?

RoscoePColtraine December 10, 2009 at 2:23 pm

The McCain gargoyle is better.

BeWoot December 10, 2009 at 2:23 pm

[re=475774]grendel[/re]: The big teeth are so they can gnaw the wings off the American eagle, silly.

JooJoo Bee December 10, 2009 at 2:24 pm

Oh, I dunno. Depends where you work. I think it would be lovely on the reception desk at the Heritage Foundation. In fact, it *is*!

KilgoreTrout_XL December 10, 2009 at 2:25 pm

I know talent when I see it, and I see it here, along with hardly any hatred of black people. This piece is obviously influenced by the art style in a pretty sweet video game I play where there are all these gay elves who are constantly fucking each other.

Suds McKenzie December 10, 2009 at 2:25 pm

The Franklin Mint Proudly introduces the Preznit Obama Collectible Noblz Peace Prize.

AnnieGetYourFun December 10, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=475773]chascates[/re]: I really like the Dictator Obama Soviet Seal. Will someone get me that for Wiccanmas?

Extemporanus December 10, 2009 at 2:28 pm

I’m a bigger fan of Barry’s last dragon.

wx insider December 10, 2009 at 2:29 pm

I’m waiting for the Obama truck nutz

magic titty December 10, 2009 at 2:29 pm

Clashes with my dildo. Pass.

jodyleek December 10, 2009 at 2:30 pm

[re=475773]chascates[/re]: Can someone please explain to me how the Sinclair Lewis quote “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross” is anti-Obama? Sounds more like anti-Bush. Or anti-Teabagger. Or anti-Palin. Or anti-please insert any conservative here. Amirite?

Jim89048 December 10, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Looks like the handle on my grundle pump.

Extemporanus December 10, 2009 at 2:32 pm

[re=475777]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: That’s the most lifelike McCain RealDoll™ I’ve ever seen.

gurukalehuru December 10, 2009 at 2:32 pm

No, see, it’s metaphorical, like, the Democratic party’s symbol is a donkey, also commonly know as an ass, and now this, because their asses are a draggin’.

Gregoire December 10, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Dear Lord, how is that gonna fit upon my Freedom Tray!

freakishlystrong December 10, 2009 at 2:34 pm

I’d rather see Obama in drag.

Extemporanus December 10, 2009 at 2:35 pm

[re=475791]magic titty[/re]: Clash of the Dildos is the name of my next porno!

freakishlystrong December 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

[re=475773]chascates[/re]: I’d rear end/punch in face anyone I saw sporting any of that shit. I love the “Selected not Elected”. Talk about projection.

petehammer December 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

You know where I first saw this? SKYMALL. I’m convinced, after seeing Design Toscano’s wares on a trip from Chicago to Portland, that the company was established purely for ironic effect. There was nothing there that wasn’t the tackiest, most horrible decoration you can imagine. Every time someone orders from them, a group of 25-year olds laughs and laughs… and then fulfills the order.

Seriously, check out their stuff in a skymall next time you fly.

Mr Blifil December 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm

“Makes a great blunt object for when choking a bitch just won’t do…”

J. Robert Oppenheiner December 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Eerily similar to the Wonderfalls wax lion.

RoscoePColtraine December 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm

[re=475794]Extemporanus[/re]: If they had designed a Palin Yeti, they would have sold one to a wonketteer named Roscoe.

AxmxZ December 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm

[re=475779]BeWoot[/re]: No way, those are the teeth of an herbivore. He might accidentally chew some feathers off that eagle, but not a whole wing.

Escape Goat Nation December 10, 2009 at 2:39 pm

I like this action figure!

proudgrampa December 10, 2009 at 2:41 pm

I know what I’m buying for the White Elephant Gift Exchange.

petehammer December 10, 2009 at 2:45 pm

From the “Favorite Dragon & Gargoyle” collection:

http://tinyurl.com/yf2jyn5

You will never have to worry about a significant other reaching across you to turn off the alarm!

TGY December 10, 2009 at 2:46 pm

It looks like it’s chocolate. Too bad it isn’t.

thefrontpage December 10, 2009 at 2:52 pm

This would make a great Wiccanmas present.

you cannot be serious December 10, 2009 at 2:53 pm

That smile reminds me of Tim Curry’s Pennywise the Clown.

CycloneArmageddon December 10, 2009 at 2:55 pm

“Just as dragons have symbolized strength across many cultures, so does President Obama draw support across cultures, ages and parties.”

By breathing fire and eating white women snatched from castles.

Escape Goat Nation December 10, 2009 at 2:58 pm

I’m only allowed to play with dradles.

SmutBoffin December 10, 2009 at 2:58 pm

This is the first Wonkett post with the tag ‘Dragons’. Huh.

[re=475777]Roscoe[/re]: Is there one for Ron Paul? The Dungeon Masters in his constituency might have an opinion on what fantastical beast he should be…

x111e7thst December 10, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=475772]shadowMark[/re]: 追龙
and the DMZ

Anonymous Office Zombie December 10, 2009 at 3:04 pm

So… this hideous, demonic representation is pro-Nobama, anti-Nobama?

I’m confused.

Paul Tardy December 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm

I think the artist should do the peace prize medals from now on.

PrairiePossum December 10, 2009 at 3:06 pm

If that dragon breathes fire, it would make a really cool cigarette lighter.

RoscoePColtraine December 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm

[re=475844]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: They come in all political stripes. I think they’re pro-”selling worthless crap” to Murkans for Jesus’ birthday.

chascates December 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm

[re=475792]jodyleek[/re]: I use that quote as my email sig. Some folks just have a mental block. I got an email from the guy who sells the ‘Palin/Bachmann 2012–We Can’t Wait’ bumper sticker and he told me a lot of Republicans have bought it, not getting the real message.

shadowMark December 10, 2009 at 3:12 pm

[re=475848]PrairiePossum[/re]: If you pull the string a voice says, “Where da white women at?”

But it’s not racist!

Flanders December 10, 2009 at 3:16 pm

What’s with the tail? Is he half-dragon, half-squid?

Gun-toting Progressive December 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=475773]chascates[/re]: WTF is this? http://tinyurl.com/ye6eeyg . I don’t think they understand “irony.”

Jim89048 December 10, 2009 at 3:22 pm

[re=475859]Flanders[/re]: Penis fingers, also.

Extemporanus December 10, 2009 at 3:25 pm

[re=475811]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Could I interest you in a Sarah Snatchsquatch™ doll?

[NSFW! NSFW! NSFW! BUT AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME!]

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 10, 2009 at 3:28 pm

[re=475815]proudgrampa[/re]: Seriously. Bonus: it’s ON SALE!

iantenna December 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm

that dragon has got the worst case of coffee teeth i have ever seen.

vladster December 10, 2009 at 3:32 pm

Hmm. Made from “quality designer resin.” Does that mean shit?

vladster December 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: OMG!!!

NJB December 10, 2009 at 3:34 pm

What talent! What imagination! They managed to make President Hopey look like a hideous Gollum death mask. With dragon wings. I can’t begin to understand this, so I guess it must be cool.

keepinitrealyo December 10, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Watch Fox News claim that the brisker sales of the Obama Dragon over the McCain gargoyle proves that we’re an center-right country.

Neoyorquino December 10, 2009 at 3:39 pm

“Beware the Ja- Barack, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!”

Buy now, and receive a complimentary order of slithy toves (wabe gyring and gimbling not guaranteed).

chascates December 10, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: That is just wrong.

RoscoePColtraine December 10, 2009 at 3:49 pm

[re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: You are not well. That’ll give me nightmares.

finallyhappy December 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm

[re=475808]petehammer[/re]; I was just on that flight but did not read Skymall. I try to avoid it unless I am looking for DIY laser treatments or something really ugly that I wouldn’t buy if I could afford it.

Extemporanus December 10, 2009 at 4:11 pm

[re=475874]vladster[/re]: [re=475883]chascates[/re]: [re=475889]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I know, right?

TOTALLY AWE INSPIRING!

I keep staring at it—like one of those hidden picture posters—in a futile effort to unlock the secrets of her proportion-warping feral fupa and Bermuda Triangle-sized snatch Bumpit™.

I fear I shall die trying.

Perhaps I already have…

ph7 December 10, 2009 at 4:22 pm

That looks almost exactly like a ceramic bong I used daily in high school (except for the human face). I might just get this, drill a few holes in it, add a bowl, and take a few tokes with Barry.

Extemporanus December 10, 2009 at 4:36 pm

[re=475941]ph7[/re]: You’re not the only one who’d like to smoke a fat Bowlbama.

shadowMark December 10, 2009 at 4:37 pm

[re=475922]Extemporanus[/re]: I keep staring at it…in a futile effort to unlock the secrets

Yes but to be honest I react that exact same way when any woman removes any piece of clothing.

jimstoic December 10, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Sung to the tune of “Bette Davis Eyes”:

“He’s got Jimmy Carter’s teeth.”

UncleTom December 10, 2009 at 5:31 pm

There’s a joke here somewhere about the dragon slaying St. George-W,

or maybe its a racist implying the “The One” is in reality “The Beast” from the Book of Revelations.

coolcatdaddy December 10, 2009 at 5:54 pm

[re=475777]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I agree – Wonkette was falling down on the job not catching the hideous McCain beast-statue which is almost as frightening as the real McCain beast-thing.

gurukalehuru December 10, 2009 at 5:59 pm

[re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: NSFWOAEIMO

Bruno December 10, 2009 at 8:17 pm

That’s a really fine head of hair he has. Would said product allow me to grow a chia-pet ‘fro on the dragon?

Avetre December 10, 2009 at 10:22 pm

[re=475773]chascates[/re]: Did you notice the “I American boys” shirt? Rather telling, that.

LowerdPeninsula December 11, 2009 at 12:17 am

[re=475774]grendel[/re]: Because Obama and Carter do have some giant-assed teeth.

BTW, I’m going to buy one. It’s going to Feng Shui the fuck out of my bathroom; that’s for damned sure.

Bearbloke December 11, 2009 at 6:03 am

[re=475773]chascates[/re]: More than a few of those ‘witty’ slogans look like retreads of things they should’ve said against Bush, like “Selected Not Elected”… hey conservativebuys.com, project much?

Bearbloke December 11, 2009 at 6:07 am

[re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: This will be the first powerpoint in next Monday morning’s staff meeting…

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