war on xmas gift guide

Oh And Buy The Obama Dragon While You’re At It

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

Terrify your friends and lovers this War on Christmas with a customized “dragon” metaphor for Barack Obama’s love of fire and war! “Our, limited edition, collectible dragon statue showcases Barack Obama as a fiercely committed young dragon of mystic strength.” Supposedly the buyer would purchase this catastrophe as a desk decoration, like for work. Awful. [Design Toscano]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Yes, whenever I think of dragons, I think of “fierce commitment.”

  • shadowMark

    Tonight when I chase the dragon
    The water will change to cherry wine
    And the silver will turn to gold
    Time out of mind

  • chascates

    There’s a pretty big amount of worse crap:


  • grendel

    Did they slap Jimmy Carter’s caricature’s teeth on that thing? Why do they portray Democratic Presidents with big teeth?

  • RoscoePColtraine

    The McCain gargoyle is better.

  • BeWoot

    [re=475774]grendel[/re]: The big teeth are so they can gnaw the wings off the American eagle, silly.

  • JooJoo Bee

    Oh, I dunno. Depends where you work. I think it would be lovely on the reception desk at the Heritage Foundation. In fact, it *is*!

  • KilgoreTrout_XL

    I know talent when I see it, and I see it here, along with hardly any hatred of black people. This piece is obviously influenced by the art style in a pretty sweet video game I play where there are all these gay elves who are constantly fucking each other.

  • Suds McKenzie

    The Franklin Mint Proudly introduces the Preznit Obama Collectible Noblz Peace Prize.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=475773]chascates[/re]: I really like the Dictator Obama Soviet Seal. Will someone get me that for Wiccanmas?

  • Extemporanus

    I’m a bigger fan of Barry’s last dragon.

  • wx insider

    I’m waiting for the Obama truck nutz

  • magic titty

    Clashes with my dildo. Pass.

  • jodyleek

    [re=475773]chascates[/re]: Can someone please explain to me how the Sinclair Lewis quote “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross” is anti-Obama? Sounds more like anti-Bush. Or anti-Teabagger. Or anti-Palin. Or anti-please insert any conservative here. Amirite?

  • Jim89048

    Looks like the handle on my grundle pump.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=475777]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: That’s the most lifelike McCain RealDoll™ I’ve ever seen.

  • gurukalehuru

    No, see, it’s metaphorical, like, the Democratic party’s symbol is a donkey, also commonly know as an ass, and now this, because their asses are a draggin’.

  • Gregoire

    Dear Lord, how is that gonna fit upon my Freedom Tray!

  • freakishlystrong

    I’d rather see Obama in drag.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=475791]magic titty[/re]: Clash of the Dildos is the name of my next porno!

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=475773]chascates[/re]: I’d rear end/punch in face anyone I saw sporting any of that shit. I love the “Selected not Elected”. Talk about projection.

  • petehammer

    You know where I first saw this? SKYMALL. I’m convinced, after seeing Design Toscano’s wares on a trip from Chicago to Portland, that the company was established purely for ironic effect. There was nothing there that wasn’t the tackiest, most horrible decoration you can imagine. Every time someone orders from them, a group of 25-year olds laughs and laughs… and then fulfills the order.

    Seriously, check out their stuff in a skymall next time you fly.

  • Mr Blifil

    “Makes a great blunt object for when choking a bitch just won’t do…”

  • J. Robert Oppenheiner

    Eerily similar to the Wonderfalls wax lion.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=475794]Extemporanus[/re]: If they had designed a Palin Yeti, they would have sold one to a wonketteer named Roscoe.

  • AxmxZ

    [re=475779]BeWoot[/re]: No way, those are the teeth of an herbivore. He might accidentally chew some feathers off that eagle, but not a whole wing.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    I like this action figure!

  • proudgrampa

    I know what I’m buying for the White Elephant Gift Exchange.

  • petehammer

    From the “Favorite Dragon & Gargoyle” collection:


    You will never have to worry about a significant other reaching across you to turn off the alarm!

  • TGY

    It looks like it’s chocolate. Too bad it isn’t.

  • thefrontpage

    This would make a great Wiccanmas present.

  • you cannot be serious

    That smile reminds me of Tim Curry’s Pennywise the Clown.

  • CycloneArmageddon

    “Just as dragons have symbolized strength across many cultures, so does President Obama draw support across cultures, ages and parties.”

    By breathing fire and eating white women snatched from castles.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    I’m only allowed to play with dradles.

  • SmutBoffin

    This is the first Wonkett post with the tag ‘Dragons’. Huh.

    [re=475777]Roscoe[/re]: Is there one for Ron Paul? The Dungeon Masters in his constituency might have an opinion on what fantastical beast he should be…

  • x111e7thst

    [re=475772]shadowMark[/re]: 追龙
    and the DMZ

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    So… this hideous, demonic representation is pro-Nobama, anti-Nobama?

    I’m confused.

  • Paul Tardy

    I think the artist should do the peace prize medals from now on.

  • PrairiePossum

    If that dragon breathes fire, it would make a really cool cigarette lighter.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=475844]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: They come in all political stripes. I think they’re pro-“selling worthless crap” to Murkans for Jesus’ birthday.

  • chascates

    [re=475792]jodyleek[/re]: I use that quote as my email sig. Some folks just have a mental block. I got an email from the guy who sells the ‘Palin/Bachmann 2012–We Can’t Wait’ bumper sticker and he told me a lot of Republicans have bought it, not getting the real message.

  • shadowMark

    [re=475848]PrairiePossum[/re]: If you pull the string a voice says, “Where da white women at?”

    But it’s not racist!

  • Flanders

    What’s with the tail? Is he half-dragon, half-squid?

  • Gun-toting Progressive

    [re=475773]chascates[/re]: WTF is this? http://tinyurl.com/ye6eeyg . I don’t think they understand “irony.”

  • Jim89048

    [re=475859]Flanders[/re]: Penis fingers, also.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=475811]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Could I interest you in a Sarah Snatchsquatch™ doll?


  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=475815]proudgrampa[/re]: Seriously. Bonus: it’s ON SALE!

  • iantenna

    that dragon has got the worst case of coffee teeth i have ever seen.

  • vladster

    Hmm. Made from “quality designer resin.” Does that mean shit?

  • vladster

    [re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: OMG!!!

  • NJB

    What talent! What imagination! They managed to make President Hopey look like a hideous Gollum death mask. With dragon wings. I can’t begin to understand this, so I guess it must be cool.

  • keepinitrealyo

    Watch Fox News claim that the brisker sales of the Obama Dragon over the McCain gargoyle proves that we’re an center-right country.

  • Neoyorquino

    “Beware the Ja- Barack, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!”

    Buy now, and receive a complimentary order of slithy toves (wabe gyring and gimbling not guaranteed).

  • chascates

    [re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: That is just wrong.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: You are not well. That’ll give me nightmares.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=475808]petehammer[/re]; I was just on that flight but did not read Skymall. I try to avoid it unless I am looking for DIY laser treatments or something really ugly that I wouldn’t buy if I could afford it.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=475874]vladster[/re]: [re=475883]chascates[/re]: [re=475889]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I know, right?


    I keep staring at it—like one of those hidden picture posters—in a futile effort to unlock the secrets of her proportion-warping feral fupa and Bermuda Triangle-sized snatch Bumpit™.

    I fear I shall die trying.

    Perhaps I already have…

  • ph7

    That looks almost exactly like a ceramic bong I used daily in high school (except for the human face). I might just get this, drill a few holes in it, add a bowl, and take a few tokes with Barry.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=475941]ph7[/re]: You’re not the only one who’d like to smoke a fat Bowlbama.

  • shadowMark

    [re=475922]Extemporanus[/re]: I keep staring at it…in a futile effort to unlock the secrets

    Yes but to be honest I react that exact same way when any woman removes any piece of clothing.

  • jimstoic

    Sung to the tune of “Bette Davis Eyes”:

    “He’s got Jimmy Carter’s teeth.”

  • UncleTom

    There’s a joke here somewhere about the dragon slaying St. George-W,

    or maybe its a racist implying the “The One” is in reality “The Beast” from the Book of Revelations.

  • coolcatdaddy

    [re=475777]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I agree – Wonkette was falling down on the job not catching the hideous McCain beast-statue which is almost as frightening as the real McCain beast-thing.

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: NSFWOAEIMO

  • Bruno

    That’s a really fine head of hair he has. Would said product allow me to grow a chia-pet ‘fro on the dragon?

  • Avetre

    [re=475773]chascates[/re]: Did you notice the “I American boys” shirt? Rather telling, that.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    [re=475774]grendel[/re]: Because Obama and Carter do have some giant-assed teeth.

    BTW, I’m going to buy one. It’s going to Feng Shui the fuck out of my bathroom; that’s for damned sure.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=475773]chascates[/re]: More than a few of those ‘witty’ slogans look like retreads of things they should’ve said against Bush, like “Selected Not Elected”… hey conservativebuys.com, project much?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=475867]Extemporanus[/re]: This will be the first powerpoint in next Monday morning’s staff meeting…