OH BOY  3:27 pm December 9, 2009

Buy John Edwards’ Slave’s Book!

by Jim Newell

Look what’s up for pre-sale, everybody: the memoir from John Edwards’ famous ex-slave, Andrew Young, about how he would blow and grundle-pump ol’ Haircut every morning for years, only to be rewarded with an order to claim the fatherhood of John Edwards’ bastard child. Hey, publisher’s website? We think you have the wrong Andrew Young here, in your bio. If you thought you were getting that Andrew Young to write a book, well then, ha ha ha, oh man… don’t shoot the messenger! [Macmillan]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 29 comments }

RoscoePColtraine December 9, 2009 at 3:31 pm

I wonder if they have the same problem with the credit bureaus?

Buzz Feedback December 9, 2009 at 3:32 pm

fukking interns

V572625694 December 9, 2009 at 3:33 pm

I thought Andrew Young was the father on “Father’s Knows Best.” You know, along with Bud and the Princess and Kitten…

Manos: Hands of Fate December 9, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Must be a former Fox News employee.

Jukesgrrl December 9, 2009 at 3:37 pm

That book you describe would be a best-seller. The author would get on Larry King, The View, every morning show there is, Joy Behar, Jane Velez-Mitchell, Show Biz Tonight, maybe even ET. With the real one, Andrew Young will be Jon Stewart’s guest, if he’s lucky. Oh, and maybe Charlie Rose.

vladster December 9, 2009 at 3:40 pm

[re=474929]V572625694[/re]: No, I think that’s Gig Young. Gig? Sounds like one of Sarah’s kids.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 9, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Wow, it’s still up there.

BarackMyWorld December 9, 2009 at 3:43 pm

Ironically, the politician Andrew Young is actually writing a book about the host of the psychic tv-show “Crossing Over”.

JMP December 9, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Hee; the publisher’s bio is the first paragraph of the wiki entry, word for word. Talk about laziness (and inability to check the “disambiguation” link at the top).

Still, isn’t this how Sen. Paul Simon got most of his 92 primary support, despite his incredible dullness and bow ties?

Extemporanus December 9, 2009 at 3:51 pm

After decades working alongside some of the Civil Rights Movement’s most inspirational figures, he’s still a wealthy white Southerner’s slave?!

THAT’S NOT RACIAL TRANSCENDENCE!

AnnieGetYourFun December 9, 2009 at 3:51 pm

[re=474949]JMP[/re]: Those were the days of miracle and wonder.

marioninnyc December 9, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=474944]BarackMyWorld[/re]: best post EVEH

Extemporanus December 9, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=474949]JMP[/re]: I think he really scored big with the bow tie.

Jim89048 December 9, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Well, to be fair to McMillan, the “correct” Andrew Young is a disambiguation according to the wiki and we all know we can’t trust those.

shortsshortsshorts December 9, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Like many bloggers, Macmillon is forgetting what it publishes hours after editing it.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 9, 2009 at 4:02 pm

the memoir from John Edwards’ famous ex-slave, Andrew Young, about how he would blow and grundle-pump ol’ Haircut every morning for years, only to be rewarded with an order to claim the fatherhood of John Edwards’ bastard child.

Congratulations, Newell. This is the single greatest sentence in the English language since James Joyce drank a case of Guinness and fapped out Finnegan’s Wake.

Extemporanus December 9, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=474956]Jim89048[/re]: It’s an ambiguous diss of disambiguous shits.

SayItWithWookies December 9, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=474952]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: As in whip and bread.

JMP December 9, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=474944]BarackMyWorld[/re]: And even all the sordid details of the whole scandal couldn’t make the politician the bigger douchebag of the two.

thesheriffisnear December 9, 2009 at 4:09 pm

[re=474939]vladster[/re]: You are both wrong, he’s the quarterback for the Titans. No, wait that’s Vince Edwards. No,wait. Vince Evans was a Black quarterback but not THE Black quarterback insulted by that dick Rush Limbaugh. There is an actor named Andrew “Andy” Dick. And Vince Edwards was an actor not a doctor but he played one on TV, also.

HuddledMass December 9, 2009 at 4:39 pm

[re=474974]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Good god, pull yourself together, man.

thesheriffisnear December 9, 2009 at 4:53 pm

[re=475033]HuddledMass[/re]: Its the f’ing Red Bulls,DAMMIT!!!

bureaucrap December 9, 2009 at 4:55 pm

Here’s a bit from the correct andrew young’s wikipedia bio, even better than Amb. Andrew Young fapping haircut boy:

“MSNBC reports that Young was charged with passing bad checks, possession of marijuana, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest when in his 20′s. MSNBC reports that in 2006, he was cited for having open beer containers at a park and charged with driving while impaired. A substance abuse counselor stated that there was evidence of alcohol abuse.[5]“

dr.giraud December 9, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Grundle-pump??? That’s so fucking elegant I’ll bet it turns up in Peggington’s Friday column.

Lladros December 9, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Wow bureaucrap – stuff he did 20 years ago in college?? Uhh – he wasn’t running for president. Who wouldn’t have a dwi working for assholes like them. I wanna see the sex tape!

proudgrampa December 9, 2009 at 8:12 pm

[re=474963]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: You are right. That sentence is downright Pynchon-esque.

sezme December 9, 2009 at 9:21 pm

Ha ha, Pwned!

LowerdPeninsula December 10, 2009 at 2:06 am

My funometer must be broken, because I can’t even wrap my mind around even jokingly refering to someone like Andrew Young as a slave. Meh.

Bruno December 13, 2009 at 9:14 am

Today we are all Georgians

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