HOT BLONDES  10:22 am December 9, 2009

George Stephanopoulos Is Your New Diane Sawyer

by Sara K. Smith

Just Google 'hairy muppet'Former Clintonite insider George Stephanopoulos will replace former Nixonite insider Diane Sawyer on ABC’s important hard-hitting American morning newsmagazine Good Morning America. Stephanopoulos is notorious for the most groundbreaking journalistic coup of the 21st century: “twitterviewing” John McCain and getting him to admit that “if the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.”

Will Stephanopoulos still host This Week, the Sunday talk show that famously alienated millions of Americans by making them look at Cokie Roberts’ bad perm every weekend? Probably not for long! He has reportedly attempted to inject “hard news” into GMA as a condition of his contract, so he may be too busy doing serious journalistic work over there to bother with Cokie and Sam Donaldson and all the other Early Bird Specials on This Week. The interim or replacement host will probably be, hmm, DAVID PLOUFFE????

George Stephanopoulos to co-host ‘Good Morning America” [Washington Post]

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4tehlulz December 9, 2009 at 10:25 am

>inject “hard news”

George is going to fuck someone live on GMA. That’s the only way to interpret this statement.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 9, 2009 at 10:27 am

Carrie Underwood is for the grilling of her life. Go George!

norbizness December 9, 2009 at 10:30 am

Expect more stories about the Lollipop Guild.

Gopherit December 9, 2009 at 10:31 am

Compared to Fox and Friends, I’m sure his interviews will appear to be Cronkite-esque.

Also, bravo on finding that excellent publicity pic of George.

TGY December 9, 2009 at 10:31 am

I’m glad George is leaving serious journalism. Oh, wait…

JadedDIssonance December 9, 2009 at 10:31 am

I keep getting steph and blago con-fused, what with their forward-focused coiffures.

memzilla December 9, 2009 at 10:35 am

I guess SKS has got Morning Nooz Duty cuz they figure “Hey, she’s got a baby, she’ll BE UP ANYWAY!”

There, that had as much hard news value as anything George Stuphumockulis ever said, and it may even have been true! Also.

Monsieur Grumpe December 9, 2009 at 10:36 am

It’s a well known true fact that Jim Henson’s biggest Muppet creation failure is George Stephanopoulos.

Sara, I missed your Muppet links. Something with a Xmas theme please.

Doris Ziffel December 9, 2009 at 10:36 am

I hate these AM TV people who protest too much about being hard journalists–Matt Lauer comes to mind. One minute they’re hammering Obama, the next minute they’re giving you today’s latest scoop about Lindsay Lohan. Does anybody even watch TV in the morning?

Fox News Light December 9, 2009 at 10:41 am

Whisky Tango Foxtrot! Tapper is getting a new job!

mumblyjoe December 9, 2009 at 10:42 am

[re=474579]Gopherit[/re]: Compared to Fox and Friends, the thing I left in my toilet this morning was Cronkite-esque

nbawriter December 9, 2009 at 10:43 am

Until you give George a blonde wig and a penis, he is no Diane Sawyer.

OReillysVibrator December 9, 2009 at 10:44 am

At least this will accelerate the death of TV news: he’ll bring in the “hard” news, which will cause people actively ignoring reality and the world around them to tune out to right wing/escapist nonsense, causing advocates of dumbing Americans to death to point to lowered ratings and blaming it on “left-wing bias” (which will actually just be coverage of issues that matter in the real world), leading to his dismissal, and continuing this endless cycle faster and faster, like water circling the drain.

Actually, Steph will give up his vision in a month and talk about chimps attacking people over a morning coffee mixed with whiskey and qualudes.

Mr Blifil December 9, 2009 at 10:45 am

When was George ever a journalist? Seriously, he cut his teeth teaching Clinton about media messaging. I was hoping they would hire the guy from “We Got That B-Roll!”

red sky December 9, 2009 at 10:49 am

I would think Sara is spending enought time watching muppets that she doesn’t need to google them in her spare time, however, I will admit “The Street” as it’s called in my house is a great form of baby prozac, plus no commericals! Sara, DVR it and keep a few episodes saved, you never know when you’ll need it.

Advocatus_Diaboli December 9, 2009 at 10:52 am

Well isn’t that cute. Little Georgie’s going to put on his big boy pants and pretend to be a journalist 5 days a week.

binarian December 9, 2009 at 10:52 am

SKS, Jedi Master of the alt-text. Continue the instruction of Padiwan Juli and she, too, will become formidable.

Rotundo December 9, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=474588]Fox News Light[/re]: Sounds about right, Gregory at MTP, Tapper at This Weak, and now who will CBS replace Schieffer with? It will have to be a real winner to complete the incompetent asshole trifecta now in play on Sunday pundit shows.

Franklin Pierce & Pierce December 9, 2009 at 10:54 am

But does Good Morning America love America as much as Reverend Wright does?!?!11!?

SayItWithWookies December 9, 2009 at 10:55 am

Congratulations, George, on finally descending to your level of competence. After watching your hard-hitting journalism on This Week, your dream of being on a show with more adorable puppies and exclusive tours of celebrity exercise rooms has at long last come true.

Vermonster December 9, 2009 at 10:56 am

Hey, check out the ad link to the left for Ben & Jerry’s Maple Blondie. I would like a lick of Maple Blondie right now. Later I will send her a Chunkmail (I am not making this up. it is SFW, but so wrong…)

Man, and it is all funded through ice cream and hemp bracelet sales. I love Vermont.

nappyduggs December 9, 2009 at 10:57 am

The only benefit for “me” as a “viewer” is more relatability. Now instead of a sophisticated, blonde, articulate, former beauty queen interviewing major celebrites and minor world figures, the “journalist” will, like me, be wearing footie pajamas and eating Honeycombs out of a mixing bowl.

Nice move, dickfaces.

Buzz Feedback December 9, 2009 at 10:57 am

George was once on my flight to Paris. He looked like hell when we arrived in CDG, and he was in first class! I was with the littles in business and was fresh as a daisy. Brother can’t hang.

BeWoot December 9, 2009 at 10:57 am

I hear Stephie’s sign-off every morning will be Keep Fucking that Chicken.

JMP December 9, 2009 at 11:02 am

[re=474586]Doris Ziffel[/re]: “Does anybody even watch TV in the morning?”

Pretty much just unemployed married women (AKA “stay-at-home-moms”) and the olds, otherwise most people are either going to work or sleeping at that time of day. It’s the People Magazine demographic, which is why the morning shows offer the same level of “news”.

dijetlo December 9, 2009 at 11:03 am

Well, that makes it official, you can now shoot your television and call it self defense.

finallyhappy December 9, 2009 at 11:04 am

I didn’t know these shows were supposed to be news- aren’t they all about cooking and shopping and tabloid stories and then there is a brief weather and news report. That is all I ever see on GMA or Today when I catch a brief view on the weekend.

Guppy06 December 9, 2009 at 11:10 am

[re=474571]4tehlulz[/re]: More specifically, in this confluence of morning shows and Henson creations, he’s going to fuck an Ewok.

Advocatus_Diaboli December 9, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=474606]Vermonster[/re]: Regarding your handle, didn’t you get your cease and desist letter from Hansen Beverages?

V572625694 December 9, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=474603]Rotundo[/re]: Isn’t the logical replacement for Schiefer Katie “lookit-my-legs” Couric? She’s got real Professional Journalistical credibility cuz she took down Snowbilly. And working one day a week beats the heck out of working five.

AnnieGetYourFun December 9, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=474605]SayItWithWookies[/re]: PUPPIES!?!? Why didn’t I try to become a fake lame TV morning talk show host? Other than the whole “raging alcoholic” thing.

Dorje Chenpo December 9, 2009 at 11:38 am

I was wondering why he had Lynn Cheney on This Week. I guess he was proving he could be enough of a right wing suck-up to get a promotion.

SayItWithWookies December 9, 2009 at 11:54 am

[re=474650]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Maybe because you have to get up at three in the morning to do the broadcast? That would be the deal-breaker for me, as that’s usually when I’m crawling home.

Scaggsvillain December 9, 2009 at 12:00 pm

I, for one, will miss George Snuffleupagus on This Week.

He did a fine job there. He will eventually get bored with all the fluffy nonsense that goes on at GMA.

Come here a minute December 9, 2009 at 12:07 pm

Doh! I always thought George was the one that looked like a furry brown elephant.

Gopherit December 9, 2009 at 12:16 pm

[re=474650]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I think having a raging alcoholic on GMA would boost ratings. I’d watch.

RoscoePColtraine December 9, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Maybe I’ll finally get the chance to watch a morning show with a “how to make baklava” segment. Honey, nuts and pastry. Sounds easy, but it isn’t.

thesheriffisnear December 9, 2009 at 12:37 pm

The NEW Diane Sawyer? Ha! Diane is nowhere near as pretty as George

the cold war makes me hot December 9, 2009 at 12:45 pm

Welcome back SKS! When can we expect your tips for new mothers post?

Vermonster December 9, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=474622]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: They’ll take my name when they pry it out of my cold, dead…or pay me $50. Seriously, check out the B&J’s ad here. So full of nuts.


thefrontpage December 9, 2009 at 12:55 pm

This is a stupid move all around. For about the millionth time, and every sane person knows it: Most political types–the vast majority of them–are not actors, are not broadcasters, are not showmen, do not have “prescence,” are not schooled in acting or broadcasting, have no idea how to relate to a show biz audience, come across as boring, dull and nerdy on the air, and are simply, very simply, not show business people and are deathly boring to listen to on radio and watch on television. That is the truth. Watch for “Good Morning, America,” which is already a terrible show, to fail with Stephanoplous in the “anchor” chair. ABC is run by idiots, and this was an idiot. They should keep him on the political show. What a stupid move!

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 9, 2009 at 1:00 pm

I can’t wait until, oh, his fifteenth hard hitting interview with whoever got voted off whatever lame ABC reality show the night before. If it wasn’t for years of talking with George Wills, I think his head would spontaneously combust.

SmutBoffin December 9, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=474685]Gopherit[/re]: Tune in to your local morning news for the alcoholics.

I also don’t think of Stephanopolis as a muppet. More like a fantastical being played by a midget (Hobbit, Jawa, Ewok, etc…).

Extemporanus December 9, 2009 at 1:40 pm

Is it true that he was forced to take the job due to an extortion plot involving two people who threatened to go public with pictures of him posing with fans?

Κουράγιο, αδελφός!

Jukesgrrl December 9, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Does this mean I have to hear more about that twit George is married to? I need to know so I can prepare to defend myself.

gurukalehuru December 9, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Stephanopoulos is a wanker. I will never forget the time he was interviewing some right wing retard, I forget who it was but supposedly he had some foreign policy cred, and the jerk referred to some country, I forget which one, by the wrong name, like 3 or 4 fucking times, and George didn’t catch it. I don’t think he was being polite or anything, his whole body language was just business as usual, he was just as big a wanker as the right wing wanker.
Conclusion: George Stephanopoulos is a wanker.

GeneralLerong December 9, 2009 at 2:10 pm

[re=474607]nappyduggs[/re]: Yeah, considering the demographic, Sarah Palin would be a much better choice.

“Now instead of a sophisticated, blonde, articulate, former beauty queen…” we could have a hick, rubbed mink, inarticulate word salad former beauty queen runner-up.

Works for me. I keep the TV off except for football.

NJB December 9, 2009 at 4:34 pm

George Snuffaluffagus belongs on Good Morning America. He’s just the right combination of banal and insipid – and he and his Blago hair will fit right in. Better still, I will never even accidentally run into him on TV because I never watch morning shows. Win / win all around.

Rotundo December 9, 2009 at 5:17 pm

[re=474628]V572625694[/re]: Who could fill Katys’ pumps on the evening news? CBS would have to go out of their stable on this one: Poaching Greta? Luring away one of the Foxettes? The mind reels.

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