Good lord. Senator Ben “Wario” Nelson has introduced the “United States War Bonds Act of 2009″ this afternoon, “which would authorize the Treasury Department to begin selling bonds to fund the wars.” But this is superfluous, because we already have such bonds: they are called United States Treasury Bonds, which we use to finance any sort of deficit spending! For how many years, as a child, did Ben Nelson drink paint-thinner on a daily basis?
“I believe that we need shared sacrifice and fiscal discipline in financing the war effort,” Nelson said in a statement. “I don’t believe our first instinct should always be a rush to tax. The government has gone to great lengths to address the economic downturn and adding new taxes right now could undermine those efforts.”
$#$@#$#@R#@ what a cockmonger this guy is. Issuing, say, $30 billion in new “war bonds” means taking on $30 billion in new debt, plus interest. If Ben Nelson wants to be Fiscally Serious, then he should either (a) add a surtax to accumulate $30 billion in new revenue or (b) offset $30 billion in the Defense Department budget, at the expense of other things. That’s probably like four F-35s, seriously. Seriously.
Ben Nelson poops through his mouth.
The return of war bonds? [Salon/War Room]
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Give him a break, this is probably his best “idea” of the decade.
Ya don’t drink paint thinner, you sniff it.
See, this only surprises people who actually think all/most elected officials know anything about anything. I loved how in the Bill Maher movie, the senator from Arkansas after saying something particularly stupid then said ” well, you don’t have to take a test to get into the Senate”
Nelson just remembers how well War Bonds worked back when he was a mere middle-aged man.
Must you be so wonky, Jim? It’s only 1:00 here and I’m all out of work scotch.
I don’t understand. Is any of this money real?
But who has got has money to buy war bonds?
You forget that these war bonds pay INTEREST! So lessee, if I invest $100 today, in 30 years I’ll get $127 back! What do you think of THAT, Mr. Wonkette Smarty Pants?
How about Estate Tax bonds to offset the loss of taxes caused by Bush (via the Gallo family lobbyists)? Or Trickle Down bonds for the drop in revenue due to high earner tax cuts? Probably not big sellers either.
I can go for a Pentagon bake sale though.
I think it’s brilliant. The slackjaws who regularly vote against their own economic self interest will by these like crazy (note to marketing: make them available at Waffle Houses and gun shows). Then when Joe Bob needs a new shotgun, grandma needs to make bail, or the fridge done goes out again, they’ll sell early and with huge penalties and the Treasury wins.
Does this mean that my victory garden and hoarded nylon pantyhose* are superfluous?
* People are starting to wonder why I have a closetfull of Leggs eggs and no apparent desire to walk around in drag.
You can’t expect the poor fuckwit to understand that issuing bonds increases debt; he is one of those morons with “business experience” that are way more smarter than “career politicians” any day of the week.
[re=474188]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Racist kids, of course:
http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=40:qslap-a-japq&catid=35:propaganda-index&Itemid=35
Ben Nelson’s safe word is “Turpentine Tax”.
[re=474193]SmutBoffin[/re]: Problem solved!
I’m still waiting to buy my War on Christmas bonds.
I’m all for going to back to the days of victory gardens, war bonds, homemade scrip, and naturally victory gin and victory whiskey.
Hmm…with a mind like Nelson’s we can allow him to have his stupid abortion amendment to the healthcare bill, as long as (per Dan Quayle) we allow pregnant women to get D and Cs, which of course are completely different.
“Shared sacrifice?” How about a fucking tax increase for once. Christ. The middle class is sacrificing by sending their loved ones to war. The rich can shell out a few bucks to help the effort.
I think the war bonds could be way cooler than savings bonds. Now savings bonds are just some book keeping thing that you can see on a web account. These could be actual pieces of paper with soaring eagles and flags and an F-18 blowing shit up. Then people will feel all patriotic when they buy them and half of the paper bonds would get lost over the next 30 years so we never have to pay them back.
[re=474187]Sussemilch[/re]: As real as the Ameros in your bank account…
[re=474193]SmutBoffin[/re]: Not at all! However, your neighbours think you’re using those nylons to strain the ‘chunks’ out of your homemade rat-milk cheese
BTW – on the subject of another stupid Politician…
[re=474198]Extemporanus[/re]: That’s…pretty neat actually.
[re=474215]Bearbloke[/re]: RAT MILK CHEESE CURDS ANYONE? (They squeak when you bite them…)
Ben Nelson: The Democratic answer to Chuck Grassley.
[re=474193]SmutBoffin[/re]: The thing is, with War Bonds, you get Bond Drives, and with Bond Drives, you get fabulous entertainment by dames, with dynamite gams, also.
[re=474207]Surprised_Still[/re]: Here Here!
War Bonds – how about War Equities? You buy shares in a predator drone, say, and get to keep any booty it brings back (e.g. wedding pix of now deceased Afghan bride and groom). Major shareholders could rename or otherwise customize their assets (e.g. call it “Wicked Witch of the East” with picture of your ex-wife on the nose cone). If it crashes, however, tough rocks.
[re=474231]DangerousLiberal[/re]: AND you get those great War Bonds posters like they used to print in WWII:
http://www.rare-posters.com/ww2bond.html
“$#$@#$#@R#@ what a cockmonger this guy is.”
Sheesh, how d’ya think that makes the rest of the cockmongers feel?
Not that there are any cockmongers who read Wonkette.
Not that there would be anything wrong with any cockmongers who did happen to read Wonkette.
Not that there would be anything suspicious about my saying there wouldn’t be anything wrong with . . .
And just WHO is supposed to buy the things with so many people out of work? Do they use their unemployment checks?
My dad’s going to be so excited. First, War Bonds are back in vogue. Soon, people are going to comment on how fashionable his saddle shoes are and how much they appreciate a man who saves aluminum foil.
He always did tell me that good things never go out of style!
[re=474327]loquaciousmusic[/re]: I didn’t even know I had a son; but I guess he’s you.
Would it help if I planted a victory garden?
Woot! Finally my chance to a be a real live war profiteer! May have to change my avatar here to daddy warbucks.
I say yes! to this idea, as long as they post a list online of everyone who buys them, so Republics can be taunted by their unwillingness to finance the war. If they issued them in $1 and $5 denominations, this would be a fantastic gift idea for any moron with a “Support Our Troops” ribbon on their gas-guzzler.
[re=474190]chascates[/re]: Whenever the “death taxes” come up here in the Heartland, I always comment that I’m so relieved to know that Paris Hilton’s inheritance is safe. And they all know who she is, because they read the mags at the checker counter.
OT–I wasn’t in the mood to listen to callers on cancer on Talk of the Nation and tired of listening to my A Chorus Line CD, so I switched to AM for five or so minutes. Rush Limbaugh is really a maniac as as well as a complete douche, isn’t he? I mean, it’s not just that Keith and John take him out of context–he’s a fucking moron. And they love him around here. No wonder the brain trust of Coburn and Inhofe are our senators.
[re=474206]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “women to get D and Cs”
I had a summer job being something called a Ward Clerk one summer after I started college (this would be, oh, 1967 ot 68).
There were more women in the hospital for D and Cs than kids to have their tonsiles out. An Irish Catholic friend in Seattle had one back in the 70s. My daughter in North Carolina reports that in the hospital where she works, it’s mostly Hispanic women who get them.
The D and C was to middle class women what the coat hanger was to poor ones. Rich women? Vacations in London, Tokyo or Toronto. Stupac’s Brave New World, except I’ve been there already and didn’t much care for it.
[re=474195]JMP[/re]: To be fair, Supes did work for Reagan.
[re=474358]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Dad! You got a computer!
Maybe Ben Nelson is a secret genius. It’s a way to increase deficit spending and boost the economy while making the rubes think they’re being fiscally responsible.
I mean, so the guy didn’t realize that bonds are just the other half of government debt. Big deal; it’s a pretty easy mistake to make, unless you’ve PAID ATTENTION DURING A HIGH SCHOOL-LEVEL ECONOMICS CLASS.
Say yes to war bonds, and finance the war solely with them. Watch no one buy them, and then we have to pull out of said war(s). Amerite?
BTW, I’m not sure if this is really all that much cognitive dissonance. Aren’t the conservatives more pissed about deficits than debt?
[re=474188]ManchuCandidate[/re]: China, Japan. Although I think the ordinary savers in China and Japan will end up screwed when the US Dollar goes the way of the German Mark.
Don’t you know that war is totally free? We make up for any intial spending by taking our enemies shit and selling it on Ebay. That’s right, because if war added a cent to our national debt you gotta believe that Joementum and Even Bayh would have been all over Fox and Friends complaining about it.
i think we need the help of mario to address this issue. we already have the United States Treasury Bonds, which we use to finance the deficit.
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