• May 27, 2012

Everyone Is Mad At America, But America Is Mad At Everyone Too!

by Juli Weiner  8:40 am December 8, 2009

  • America is very serious capital S serious about the Pakistanis doing away with all of Pakistan’s Taliban. [New York Times]
  • Obama’s new thing is going to be unemployment. This, in fact, is many people’s new thing. [Washington Post]
  • It’s looking like an American, Chicago born was instrumental in the Mumbai hotel bombings last year. A man’s character is his fate, says Heraclitus, etc. etc. [WSJ]
  • Amanda Knox, for one, is very interested in appealing the Amanda Knox verdict! [CNN]
  • The continent of Europe—the “Canada of Eurasia”—is trying to convince China and America to do more than the absolute bare minimum re: cutting carbon emissions. [Times Online]
  • Afghanistan is more violent and deathier than ever, and will only continue to become more so. [AP]

{ 33 comments }

slavojzizek December 8, 2009 at 8:45 am

What happened? Sarah having another baby or something? (just kidding Juli!)

norbizness December 8, 2009 at 8:45 am

America’s foreign policy : reducing terrorism ::

(a) chopsticks : eating jello;
(b) feeding gremlins after midnight : mayhem prevention;
(c) War on Drugs : KFMDM’s A Drug Against War;
(d) tendentiousness : loquacity.

wheelie December 8, 2009 at 8:48 am

Jeez. Sara’s comeback tour didn’t last long, did it?

Advocatus_Diaboli December 8, 2009 at 8:52 am

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS FROM CHICAGO!?!111!!1

CycloneArmageddon December 8, 2009 at 8:53 am

I’m disgusted that we’re not covering the big news. Someone a block away from Tiger wood’s house needed medics during the night – it’s a headline on FOX.

SHAME ON YOU COMMUNISTS

Sparky McGruff December 8, 2009 at 8:54 am

S[re=473688]wheelie[/re]: Sara’s locked in the basement. She forgot to say the “safe word”.

proudgrampa December 8, 2009 at 8:55 am

Obama could do more about unemployment if he did less about Afghanistan.

As a person who is unemployed, I care quite a bit about the former. Do not give a damn about the latter.

US Out of Afghanistan. Also.

Larry McAwful December 8, 2009 at 8:59 am

I’ve been concerned about unemployment for a long time, so in September, I took action: I quit my job. Now someone else has my crappy job while I slack off from my grad school work while screwing around on the internet. Everyone wins!

ChernobylSoup v2 December 8, 2009 at 9:00 am

[re=473688]wheelie[/re]: The Bush admin changed the FMLA while nobody was looking. You only have to let them come back for half a day, then you can fire them. Obama needs to fix this loophole because apparently even Ken is taking advantage of it to keep costs down.

charlesdegoal December 8, 2009 at 9:03 am

That so-called domestic terrorist seems to have been born not in Chicago but in or near Washington DC, after having probably been conceived within the extraterritorial confines of the Pakistani embassy. Whether he could serve as president is questionable for those and a multitude of other reasons. Still, I bet he came to regret anglicizing his name, unlike that more famous Chicago muslin.

JMP December 8, 2009 at 9:06 am

Doesn’t Europe understand that doing a half-assed, bare minimum job is the American way? Oh wait, no, they actually have rules that make employers treat their workers decently.

Here’s a prediction: the Blue Dogs will whine and moan about the deficit to fight against every cent used to fight unemployment, but not say one word about money for Afghanistan.

Monsieur Grumpe December 8, 2009 at 9:13 am

[re=473690]CycloneArmageddon[/re]:
Yes, and what about the horrific vegetable attack on Palin?
http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/TWSFP/2009/12/man_throws_tomatoes_at_palin_m.asp

freakishlystrong December 8, 2009 at 9:13 am

More domestic terra; a guy chucked two tomatoes at the Alaskan Tamatah-and fucking missed. A grim day indeed.

CycloneArmageddon December 8, 2009 at 9:19 am

[re=473700]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: “…what about the horrific vegetable attack on Palin?”

Even I am ashamed at some of the responses I thought of in regard to this line in your post.

freakishlystrong December 8, 2009 at 9:20 am

[re=473700]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I owe you a beer, or likewise!

Tundra Grifter December 8, 2009 at 9:25 am

“Amanda Knox, for one, is very interested in appealing the Amanda Knox verdict!”

Brings a smile to my face at 6:15 am. Great writing! Juli’s back!

Sweet!

Larry McAwful December 8, 2009 at 9:26 am

Why throw tomatoes at Palin? Cabbages are better. They fucking hurt.

Monsieur Grumpe December 8, 2009 at 9:27 am

[re=473707]freakishlystrong[/re]:
Today I’m pretty much proud to be a Minnesotan. Where the men throw like sissies and the politicians are insane.

[re=473707]freakishlystrong[/re]:
Make that a good beer and I’ll buy.

sra December 8, 2009 at 9:32 am

[re=473712]Tundra Grifter[/re]: Same feeling here, though the one that really got me was “Obama’s new thing is going to be unemployment. This, in fact, is many people’s new thing.”

Come here a minute December 8, 2009 at 9:36 am

Somebody’s been reading philosophy during nap time.

Oh, wait a minute.

Somebody’s bringing textbooks into the workplace.

Mr Blifil December 8, 2009 at 9:40 am

The lesson I derive is there’s no problem so big it can’t be solved by choking a bitch.

magic titty December 8, 2009 at 9:40 am

Just read the WSJ comments on the American-born terrorist plotter story, to see how many people think Obama smuggled Mr. Headley into the country, by hiding him in the space beneath his balls.

I’d say 31% believe that to be exactly how it went down.

freakishlystrong December 8, 2009 at 9:41 am

[re=473714]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Perk up pickle, y’all at least have Franken!

Ever had Chimay?

steverino247 December 8, 2009 at 9:44 am

Look at the bright side. Ms. Knox now has plenty of time to work on her masturbatory technique.

vitira December 8, 2009 at 9:46 am

[re=473689]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Let’s see, this guy is a muslin from Chicago … HAVE YOU SEEN HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE? Since he’s obvi Kenyan we can just ship him to Gitmo, right? Right?

Flanders December 8, 2009 at 9:48 am

Juli! You’re back! Did you get all your “homework” done? And where the hell is Riley? Didyou forget to tell him the safe word?

Monsieur Grumpe December 8, 2009 at 9:49 am

[re=473721]freakishlystrong[/re]:
Yes. Grand Reserve = Yum!

x111e7thst December 8, 2009 at 9:57 am

“The character of every act depends upon the circumstances in which it is done.” O. W. Holmes

JMP December 8, 2009 at 10:01 am

[re=473717]Come here a minute[/re]: Oh come now, don’t you ever read up on the pre-Socratics for fun?

V572625694 December 8, 2009 at 10:07 am

[re=473719]Mr Blifil[/re]: Tax cuts solve all the rest of the problems!

President Beeblebrox December 8, 2009 at 10:09 am

[re=473700]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: There are several problems with that article…

1. Use of “epic fail”, or a derivative thereof by a conservative = epic fail per se.

2. Cover art of scientist and politician having buttsecks in celebration of climate change conspiracy while shredding documents = moar fail.

3. Snarky reference to a Minnesotan going “Winter Solstice” shopping and pelting Palin in a fit of rage. Everyone should know that in Minnesota, with all those heathen Hmongs, it couldn’t have been the solstice, more like one of them Buddhist holidays or sumthin’. Or a holiday devoted to lye-soaked fish.

S.Luggo December 8, 2009 at 10:28 am

In other news:
Facebook Forms Board To Lick Molesters
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/12/08/facebook_safety_advisory_board/

chaste everywhere December 8, 2009 at 12:34 pm

“[Mr Headley's] Chicago apartment is leased in the name of a dead person, the October FBI affidavit said.”

Silly FBI affidavit! That was just so he could vote a few extra times in Chicago elections. And note that they’re too lazy or chicken to print said stiff’s name, to wit: David Headley Lamarr.

“In the mid-1980s, Mr. Headley ran a Philadelphia nightspot called the Khyber Pass, a 100-year-old bar that his mother renamed and decked out with exotic furnishings. ‘He ran the place for a couple of years and did a poor job of it from what I understand,’ said Jeremy Thomson, the day manager of the bar, now known as The Khyber.”

Most useless quote–indeed, most meaningless graf–in the history of the WSJ? Which would, like, rilly be sayin’ sump’n.

Meantime: a moment of silenzio, per favore, for Amanda Knox’s roomie (well, ex-roomie, I guess), who all too evidently forgot the safe word.

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