In honor of Jonah Goldberg’s hot new million-dollar book deal, we thought we’d re-share this great moment from our nation’s most greatest political thinker ever. When’s your book coming out, average reader? [Gawker]
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{ 39 comments }
Jonah Goldberg, RW writefare Queen.
yet another reason to weep for our country– JoGo has a million dollar book deal
He needs a prop.
Wonder what he does on LBJ’s birthday…
I’m hoping to ink my first deal next week. It’s on an incredibly boring topic, which makes it a lot like Goldberg’s book, except I’m probably going to get a one figure (finger?) advance.
Ever since he saw his first fax machine, young Jonah had always wondered how they squeezed those documents through such tiny wires.
Okay, this is weirdin’ me out. Why didn’t anyone tell me JoGo was the PHB.
Mom’s his agent?
Good thing the internet wasn’t invented in 2007. That would have BLOWN Jonah’s mind.
We need to xerox this post by the thousands and e-mail it to everybody we know— immediately.
The writers at National Review Online are a series of boobs (and not the good kind).
JoGo? Why are you guys moving from “Doughy Pantload” to “JoGo?” The original is timeless.
In other news, a couple days ago I was at the Borders in Pentagon City and overheard a guy asking for help finding “Liberal Fascism by Jonah Goldberg.” This person was not only actively and knowingly engaging in Jonah Goldberg consumption, but was not too ashamed to announce it in public! The girl gave him a sort of pained look while walking over to the appropriate section (Morbidly Obese Beneficiaries of Semen-Caked Dresses? Is there such a section in Borders?).
Jonah Goldberg once paid a million bucks for a Bob Novak-George Will tag team, and he’d like you to know that—even though Novak was dead—it was worth every penny.
[re=473422]dum librul[/re]: I thought Mike Huckabee was the Doughy Pantload?
where I’m doing all my Christmas shopping!
http://mivasecure.abac.com/trucknutz1/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=T&Category_Code=TN
What kind of airplane will he be taking his bus tour in?
Which tumblr blog did he start?
Good question, Wonkette. Sadly, my book, entitled “Hitler Lovers: Why Liberals Want to Have Sex with Your Dead Aborted Black Baby (And I’m Not a Racist for Saying That)”- has yet to find a publisher. According to my agent, I’m having problems selling the book because publishers said it wasn’t Jesus-y enough and because I admitted that scientists make a good point with that whole evolution thing.
No no no. First I need a senile old man to name me his VP running mate. Then I say a bunch of stupid shit on TV. Quit my job. Get a book deal. Profit!
For the troops. Also.
Hooray for Anything: I’m sure you can cancel all the bad out by simply titling a chapter: “Slavery: It Never Happened in America”. Rightie revisionists will get all hot and bothered over that.
By interfence, I’d like to know exactly what kind of fax machine ‘sometimes’ transmits the actual paper a message is printed on???
[re=473457]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Cargo.
I love the image of Romney’s press guy running a U-haul full of blank paper through a fax machine, one sheet at a time. And frankly, I can’t imaging a better use for his time.
If I had a million dollars, we wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinners,
but we would eat Kraft dinners, of course we would, we’d just eat more.
Jonah Goldberg always wondered why he’d lost his first apartment and had his car repossessed. After all, he always made sure to fax the payments on time. He never trusted those wicked, deceitful Fax Machines again, forever.
[re=473496]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: I’m not sure if it should be “Slavery never happened”, or if it should be “Why Slavery was the Best Gift of All, and You’re Not Racist”
In honor of Jonah Goldberg’s hot new million-dollar book deal…
ffffffffff m m l
f mm mm l
f m m m m l
ffffff m m m m l
f m mm m l
f m m l
f m m l
f m m lllllllll
And there goes my feeble attempt at concrete poetry, dribbling down like LBJ’s jizz on Lucienne Goldberg’s face.
There is no God.
You call it a best selling book, I call it a voluntary stupid tax. My new book, Conservative Socialism will be on sale April 1. Chapter 3 is titled Karl Marx, the closet capitalist. Chapter four is devoted to Sarah Palin’s plan for reducing CO2 in the atmosphere by shooting them from an airplane.
Call me Jonah. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.
…….
And who was the stewart on thePequod?
Dough-boy.
Word has it that while Jonah Goldberg was working on this book, he had as many as three editorial assistants on hand to wipe the Wite-Outâ„¢ from his monitor when it got too thick.
Johan Goldberg , still a twelve sandwich eating human bolillo.
[re=473621]El Pinche[/re]: Johan, Jonah…same loaf.
Heh, heh: “usually.” Sometimes, though!
At least he didn’t turn purple like his brother. Not counting the massive discolored patches of skin that seethe and ooze beneath his clothing.
If there wasn’t proof, before, that Jonah is inking a book deal is proof-positive that there is no Christian, Muslin, and/or Jewish god (the jury is still out on Shiva, Ganesh, Vishnu etc…).
BTW, this has inspired me to write my own book:
“8 is not enough: The Tiger Wood’s Story”
Alternate Title:
“Two Above Par: The Tiger Woods Story”
or:
“How many licks does it take to get to the center of a whore-pop?”
His first book buried the notion of American meritocracy; this book is just pissing on its grave.
The Tyranny of Cliches
I think he mixed up the used napkin that had his book title on it, with the post-it that had his review of Going Rogue on it. The book title is Fuck You I Got Mine from My Mom, but it’s too smudged for him to read it now after those two racks of ribs he stuffed in his face.
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