Sarah Palin came to Northern Virginia over the weekend to sign her ghost writer’s book, and she brought along with her the first snow of the season. (Friends call her Snow Miser.) Your Wonkette was going to go but did not, because shut up. Fortunately operative “Bruce” weathered the freezing cold to meet the Snowbilly and get his book signed — but was it really his?
I went to the Palin book signing. Here’s the rundown.
* I got in line at 9:30. I ended up being just around the middle of the line.
* She arrived through the back at 11am
* They forced you to buy a BJs membership in order to get a book signed.
* They forced you to buy a book from BJs, even if you already had your own book. You had to show your receipt.
* They took away all bags and cameras before you got to palin. I took some SECRET SPY photos with my Jesus phone. They are blurry — sorry.
* You didn’t get “your” book back, you got a different one.
– Walk in, give them your book, it goes into the first pile
– A handler gives Palin a book from a second pile
– Sarah signes that book and puts it into a 4th pile.
– As you walk out, a book is given to you from a 5th pile.
* 2 books max a person.
* No personalizations (because you don’t get the same book you give).
* Sarah shook our hands, took my friend’s hand into hers, and told her that her hands were very cold.
* It was cold as fuck outside. everyone had to wait outside, the inside of BJs was pretty much empty.
* Sarah’s parents and aunt were also there and allowed you to take pictures.
* I was out of there around 1pm.
(1) What is the third pile? Is that the pile of books Sarah is signing at any one time? Does she have nine writing hands?
(2) What happens between the first and second piles, and the fourth and fifth piles? We’re thinking some sort of… vetting. Books in the first pile are scanned through to look for any prank graffiti or whatever, so Sarah doesn’t open them and find pictures of fat donkey penises on the title page, which would produce a comical and well-Internetted reaction. Once cleared, they go into the second pile. Similarly, books Sarah puts into the fourth pile are scanned to make sure Sarah didn’t accidentally write or draw anything, like pictures of fat donkey penises.