Rudy Giuliani LITERALLY Wins The Olympics

Everyone in Rio very kindly say "Olá" to Rudy Giuliani, who is now working for sports as the 2016 Olympics' "security consultant." This is like winning a gold medal in synchronized 9/11. The governor of Rio is so stoked on Giuliani for some reason, and Giuliani is very excited to be America's South American mayor. "'You have to pay attention to big and small things,' Giuliani told reporters after visiting a local shantytown." Commercial airliners and skyscrapers presumably counting as "medium-sized things," is the implication here. [ NY Daily News ]