We’ve got to side with the majority here. Regardless of whether you’re posting to agree or disagree, any Gretawire commenter is pretty much by definition a loser. [Gretawire]
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{ 76 comments }
Legitimate Beef = Worst Porn Name Ever
I prefer to spend my time on Hanzelwire.
I don’t know how to answer this.
I hate Greta. But I also hate anyone who would actually read GretaWire.
Indeed, nothing get’s by the Gretawire, including armchair psychoanalysis.
I, too, have noticed that anyone who disagrees with me is unhappy in his or her life and can only feel better by criticizing others. That is why my opinions are so much stronger without my having to defend them at all.
Wow, passive-agressive much, greta fans?
This says it all:
http://www.snotr.com/video/80
27 + 73 = 100% ???
This poll would make sense if it were in pie chart form.
Tainted beef is the most likely explanation for the brain-damaged legitimate fans of GretaWire.
[re=472931]the problem child[/re]: Crap “aggressive”. And bitchy, too.
I hang out with midgets so that I can feel tall.
Sara, Didn’t know if you knew this or not, but it is not Necessary to kill the rest of the staff when returning from maternity leave.
Even slimy, unwashed, basement dwelling malcontents who will never get laid can and do have a legitimate beef with GretaWire.
Welcome back SKS!
And 100% of poster on the website of L.-Ron-Ted-Baxter-in-Drag are xtians waiting for the rapture.
[re=472941]Fox News Light[/re]: Ken and Jim and Juli and Riley thought they would be cool with the breastfeeding but when Sara actually unbuttoned and took out a breast Ken and Jim and Juli and Riley all left to get donuts and now are afraid to come back.
Why do I follow the links? Most of those commentors are just nuts. I especially liked (meaning loathed) the rapture-believer, and the one who was angry because an article didn’t capitalize god.
What about choice (c), “FUCK YOU I’M EATING”?
This poll brought to you by Zenu, Tom Cruise, and “Jonestown, the sequel” (coming soon!!).
So 73% of “Gretawire??” are typical, average Republics, hating their bitter lives and criticizing others? That poll makes perfect sense.
Obviously any person who criticizes any Scientologist for any reason is unhappy in their life.
Memo to myself: Begin each GretaWire post with “Tho I am happy in my life…”. Example: Tho I am happy in my life, I find Greta blows wharf rats. Problem solved.
[re=472941]Fox News Light[/re]: First Juli and Riley mysteriously disappear “doing homework” – whatever the fuck THAT is supposed to mean – and now Ken and Jim have evaporated. WHAT IS GOING ON??11??
[re=472941]Fox News Light[/re]: It seems like the male editors are never willing to get up for the morning postings whenever there’s a woman who can take care of it. Sexists!
I demand a similarly insightful poll to find out why people post comments here!
[re=472947]JMP[/re]: …and went on to equate “god” with “hannity”…
[re=472953]arwing[/re]: Of course they’re unhappy; their thetans are out of balance.
They only have a few hundred votes – come on Wonkettes, we can change this – vote “they have a legitimate beef.”
[re=472957]Guppy06[/re]: Fox News Poll: Why are Wonkette readers such dickfaces?
1) Parents never loved them/loved them too much in cloying, liberal way
2) Don’t watch The Factor to see how dickfacin’ is done right
3) Um, Ted Kennedy
I personally thought that Gretawire was some kind of Gitmo Slang for a torture device that forces prisoners to watch Greta Van Sustren’s “Why the Long Face?” Hour while being constantly shocked with electrodes at the testicles.
Before this post, I was one of the lucky ones who had no clue about Greta, or her blog. Never having watched Fox news outside of a medical/dental waiting room, and even then only with the volume cranked down and the closed caption turned on, I have been blissfully ignorant of all but the very worst that goes on over there.
And then you people had to come along and ruin it for me. Thank you, thank you very much, and now I’m going to go soak my head in a bottle of Jack until each and every one of my pores is capable of puking and developing miniature hangovers.
I prefer to reside among the gentlemen and scholars found here. Besides, I didn’t know Gretawire existed. Sound like some kind of Tron-flavored fetishbot.
[re=472941]Fox News Light[/re]: [re=472955]Flanders[/re]:
Oh my god. It’s Year Zero at Wonkette!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_Zero_(political_notion)
Will the Greta-critic 27% end up on Scientology’s shit list and will they be followed by L. Ron’s hired P.I. goons or will Tom Cruise just stop by to jump on their sofas?
Wazup with the Gretas? They have husbands who work and the Gretas must use them to secure interview subjects – but then fail to acknowledge those husbands?
Gretas: Put a [tube] sock in it!
[re=472960]drewonline[/re]: done.
[re=472964]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: That last bit reminded me of a post several weeks back by someone I don’t remember that promised she would not shave her legs for several months and then use ciliary motion to squirm all the way to Alaska for some reason or another. Ciliary motion. That, that my friends, is my Wonkette. Belatedly, I offer great thanks and applause for that poster.
p.s. Pores with nano-hangovers compares favorably.
[re=472966]user-of-owls[/re]: “As the year zero begins, people feel fairly confident that something big is about to happen.” – Could it be the climate change announcement today at 9:00??
The legitimate beef side has gained two points – keep at it people.
[re=472964]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Same here. And I have decided to skip the link and keep my virginal ignorance. I sustpect the Greta in question here is the lawyer (last name “von Schtupp”?) who shot to prominence commenting on the OJ trial and recently re-emerged in a wife-swap group with the Palins, right? Actually, whether I am right or wrong, just let me wallow in my fantasy, which I am sure is more pleasant than reality.
[re=472960]drewonline[/re]: I have heard rumors Wonkette used to be a war blog.
The tally is up to 30 percent — only 250 votes needed to tie. Do your part, America! Or do you hate the troops???!!11!1!!!!!!!
I was a lot happier not knowing about this “gretawire”. Thanks a lot wonkette.
I am so proud of her and the work that she is doing.
Oh, and she’s totally irrelevant.
I’m really bewildered because I have never heard of any critical posts on any blogs other than GretaWire. She’s so special (ed).
[re=472978]Humpback[/re]: Because of you, and because I’m such a nice guy, I actually went to Wikipedia’s page to back up the OJ bit, and I want you to know that I am planning on resenting you for all of eternity. Her Wiki pic shall haunt my nightmares for years to come. How am I going to explain the midnight screams of “NO GRETA NO!” to my wife and kids I ask you? HOW?!
[re=472973]user-of-owls[/re]: *bows* My nanohangovers thank you.
I mean come on this lady is like the worst blogger in the world. Did any of you check this out, screw the whole concept of block quotes or cogent thoughts or sentences. Oh, and I’m guessing the little slanty I button is one that Greta must feel is to be used randomly for whatever strikes her fancy at the moment. I’m not trying to be funny here, I just get the impression that her approach to blogging is to throw a monkey at a laptop, wait for five minutes, and hit the publish button come what may…
Wait, I can do that. Is FNC hiring right now?
OK. Which one of you Wonket assclowns posted this comment on teh Gretawirez? Please tell me this is a fake comment and isn’t a real example of Freedom Tray-purchasing wingnuttery, ‘cos if it is, I’m just going to curl up in my Snuggie and eat KFC Famous Bowls until I die of a heart attack since the world’s ending soon anyway.
“Oral sex rpt oral sex”, also.
nick
You would think Hillary Clinton would have more to do than lesson to this women senator from Washington state, the state that outlawed CHRISTMAS. She would be better off talking to TIGER WOODS wife and tell her how she handled the deal of BILL CLINTON having oral sex rpt oral sex in the peoples house, the WHITEHOUSE. She would be better off taking up for our brave NAVY SEALS that ERIC HOLDER doesn’t have the balls to stop this outrage, were looking like fools overseas, LET THEM GO.
December 7, 2009 at 10:16 am
[re=472973]user-of-owls[/re]: The great squirm will commence soon. Powered by cilli and hatred.
This is true. I was happy with my life until I found out Gretawire exists. Now all hope is lost.
Greta Garboage
[re=472992]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I can’t tell if that’s parody or legit, but I do think that person is also commenting on Politico. Ben Smith attracts the crackers like a bowl of tomato soup.
GRETA GET’S BY BEING ILLIGITIMATE!!1 WERE IS HER BEEF CERTIFECATE!?!
[re=472992]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Hate to tell you, but that post was put on their comments site before this one was put up on Wonkette. So it must be the real deal.
So, they melted down Greta van Sustersustersusteren and drew her out through teensy wires? Good job.
Cant I have a legitimate beef and still need to get laid??
[re=472965]Decker[/re]: Ahem.
[re=472935]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: You mean, like this one? I’ll have contractors get right on it.
Dec 7, 1941
Maybe it would have been better if the Japs had won.
[re=473010]canadians for pussy[/re]: if the Japs had won
Greta would look hot with blue and red hair dressed like a sexy schoolgirl sailor.
What the hell is Grettawire? Eh, nevermind, I don’t actually give a shit.
Gretawire? What the fuckity FUCK!
Absentee ballots must be pouring in over there (or, at last, the warblog has spoken). It’s now 35% “Greta is a moron”
[re=473018]superdave[/re]: [re=473016]Darkness[/re]: A gretawire is like an underwire that supports teabags instead of funbags.
[re=472955]Flanders[/re]: Don’t you know? Max Baucus Penis Day is approaching (otherwise known as Christmas) and Ken and Jim are presumably busy doing some advance “cramming.”
Yay, it’s SKS! Welcome back. I guess you finally found a place to store the baby during the day so you can “work”?
Surely no Fox Viewer could ever be described as unhappy with their lives. Not with the likes of Cavuto, Beck, Hannity, Douchy, and Papa Ailes keeping them continually buoyed and inflated with joyful hatred of the ****er ****ers.
[re=473010]canadians for pussy[/re]: Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Now if you’re one of the lucky ones…really really lucky ones. You can post something that offends Gretel so much that she’ll take your post and make a new topic out of it so all the droolers in Gretel land can attack you. A sure fire way to achieve this awesome notoriety is to criticize her non-stop coverage of Sarah Palin. Doing that drives Gretel into spastic fits. Gretel is also a Gadget Nerd and announces to her followers of every little new thing she buys. She bought a new Nikon D90 and talked about it for days and would post her lousy pictures from it. It became obvious real fast that she didn’t know how to use it. The Gadget Nerd was shooting every thing on Full Auto so the flash would go off a lot. One picture she posted was of the Washington Memorial in low light from six blocks away. Of course the flash went and lit up everything 5 feet in front of her. I remarked on her blog that she should spend some time learning about photography and that the on camera flash wasn’t bright enough to light a subject up a half a mile away. She didn’t like that either.
I know this because I was once the subject of her and her drooler’s ire for 2 days. Gretel put up a whole post about me. Thank God they didn’t know my real name or they would have probably killed me.
She talks like a Scientologist, but walks like a man.
Me thinks they have shut down that blog for the day. Greta won’t let me post!
[re=472978]Humpback[/re]: I hear that neilist is Greta’s lawyer spouse IRL, so maybe we could ask him how that Sarah + Todd + Greta thing went.
Hm. Actually, I do not want to know. Ever.
[re=473004]trondant[/re]: Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Did Sara K. Smith break the Wonkette?
I will now raise my glass to everyone who went to the trouble of joining the witches coven and leaving HILARIOUS comments.
I’d do the same, but for some reason my snark seems to be broken today.
Must.
Have.
More.
Bacardi.
She really needs to be fucked with.
Should someone who has had plastic surgery to go from fugly to ugly and spends her life criticizing others really be calling people out on being unhappy with their lives and criticizing others to feel better? Because I think the pot might be…well, crying out for help.
Also, isn’t Gretawire what’s holding up her face? Or is it what the cheap bra I acquired at Wal-Mart contains. I forget.
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