OMG WTF! That is a lot of exclamation points for a government press release! Lisa Jackson has something to announce, today! It is an announcement regarding the climate! HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS. (!!!) [EPA]
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{ 46 comments }
The FEMA camps are finally fully operational.
The death panels will be solar powered.
Sending 30,000 troops to Afghanistan will actually provide the Government with Carbon Credits!!!!!!
DRUDGE SIRENS!!!!!
OMG-LOL ON THE ALT TEXTZ!!11
“The Obama administration will formally declare Monday that carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gas emissions pose a danger to the public’s health and welfare, a move that lays the groundwork for an economy-wide carbon cap even if Congress fails to enact climate legislation, sources familiar with the process said. ”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/07/AR2009120701645.html?hpid=topnews
This COULD be the first step in telling a certain gentleman from Oklahoma “up yours, buddy”. In reality, though, they probably won’t take advantage of this groundwork.
Studies have irrefutably demonstrated the link between individuals who deny the existence of climate change and climate change.
To combat this, the federal government has poisoned every batch of canned Schlitz and Moon Pies, and added enough lead to the ink used in printing copies of Going Rogue to cause pregnant deniers to birth gilled, flipper-limbed monsters. Bills of attainder for the Whole Foods shoppers who run ExxonMobil, Chevron, and Shell to be published over constitutional objections by Friday.
NICE MOVE, DICKFACE
Welcome back, Sara.
By holding on to my hat, I would be forced to take my hands out of my pants. Sorry, no can do.
Why do the baby seals have to die…
I think the EPA should probably reel it in a little with the exclamation points.
Jesus is buying us all carbon offsets for XMAS.
Declaring CO2 a nasty will allow inhaling, just not exhaling without paying the cap.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!@! EPA HAS HRIED 1 OF MALIA’S BESTEST FRIENDS TO RITE IT’S PRESS RELEASES!!! OMG THIS IZ TOTALLY KOOL U GUYZ!!1!!
Jesus, if this is what clogs up the tips toilet every morning, no wonder I’ve never (ok, very rarely) gotten a reply.
OMG! WB SKS! brb….
HOLYFUCKKINSHITE THEY SOLD OUR ATMOSPHERIC NITROGEN TO CHINA
Inhoff will hold breath during the entire summit, proving we do not need air to breath…huh?
The US Patent Office has finally recognized Sara’s patent of the word “carbon”. All uses of “carbon” now requires a $0.01 royalty be paid to Sara, which means I just gave her my two cents.
WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!1111111
I had a design client who’d call my office 10 times a day. We always let the machine pick up just so we could hear her scream URGENT! in her sweet North Carolina accent. Haha. Good times.
[re=472886]teebob2000[/re]: This or H1N1, or Mullah Omar in a prison, or something. Just keep being afraid! Your gubbermint likes that!
I got the scoop.
http://www.tonic.com/article/poo-power/
“The Obama administration will formally declare Monday that
carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gas emissions pose a danger to the public’s health and welfarewater is wet and puppies are cute.”/fixed
This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of carbon emissions, and it will soon see the end of the health care rebellion. (not really)
from the WashPost article:
“”An endangerment finding from the EPA could result in a top-down command-and-control regime that will choke off growth by adding new mandates to virtually every major construction and renovation project,” Thomas Donohue, president and CEO of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, said in a statement. “The devil will be in the details, and we look forward to working with the government to ensure we don’t stifle our economic recovery.” ”
Translation: Do you know how much the Chamber of Commerce has spent on ads and lobbying to block climate change legislation to protect the coal companies and the trains that haul it? Now Obama does an end run around us. He better let us back to the table so we can find another way to gum up the process.
[re=472868]user-of-owls[/re]: I agree. You’d think the meth-snorting Obama butt-secks guy running for office would be prime snark material.
Oscar Mike Golf, they left all the 1′s out of their exclamation points!!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!!
That is how you save the baby seals, with the ones.
It should say:
[/shameless tip plug]
in that above comment. Stupid Intrawebz! Also.
I got the climate change announcement this morning. It said, “Winds variable out of the southwest. Clear today and partly cloudy by late afternoon. Light snow showers possible. High of 42º.” I guess the Weather Channel scooped the EPA. Again.
[re=472837]Holy Cow!![/re]: Only those with the mark of the beast shall be spared.
[re=472911]Come here a minute[/re]: It’s like an exclamation point offset credit!
WAIT BUT TEH RUSSIANZ EXPOZED ALL DOSE EMAILS FRUM TEH UNIVERSITY IN ENGLAND DAT SHOW A KONSPIRACY 2 KOOK TEH BOOKZ ON CLIMATE CHANGE!!!11 THIS IS A FRAUD!!!!1111
[re=472907]Terry[/re]: Thomas Donohue, Chamber of Commerce, bag of dicks, choke, etc.
Sara, “WTF” is *so* three months ago. We say ‘Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” around here these days. NICE MOVE, DICKFACE!
[re=472915]rottenart[/re]: Maybe you should look at the post tags before you try make with the funny, DICKFACE!
[re=472903]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: “The Republican Party immediately attacked the administration’s announcement, stating that the Bible indicates that water is actually dry, contrary to what those egghead scientists claim, and Obama is making America weak by appeasing the great puppy menace.”
A Day that will live on in infamy. Obama-san snuck up on us and bombed our peaceful SUVs while they slept. Tora Bora Bora!
Why must we wait? WHY MUST WE WAIT?
Yawn. If they can’t bother to use at least 16 exclamation points, I’m not interested.
Don’t be too proud of this ecological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the carbon offset.
America can ill afford a CO2 gap, Mr. President. Just look at the Big Board! China almost has more CO2 than we do. And that’s not counting the dry wall factories…
[re=472942]steverino247[/re]: Yeah, soon they’ll be after our precious bodily fluids…..
“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.” – Terry Pratchett
AND SARA BRINGS THE ALT TEXT BACK WITH HER!!!! YAY!
[re=472982]Neoyorquino[/re]: Maskerade, yes?
[re=472991]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Yes!!!! (note, only 4)
I have a climate announcement! It is currently very cold in the Pacific Northwest! Everyone should care!
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