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Good-bye, shitty!Good lord, has it really been five years since famous baby panda “Butterstick” — which means Tai Shan in Chinese — was born in the Washington zoo? Yes it has, even though it feels like at least 50 years ago, and the once-adorable little puppet has turned into an immense, terrifying monster. Sometime this morning, the National Zoo will announce that Butterstick is being sent to China, forever. After all, China’s on the up and America’s on the down & out.

The Washington Post reports:

The zoo said last Spring that “Tai” was probably going to China this year, as part of a prior loan agreement with the Chinese government.

Although he has felt like ours since his birth at the zoo on July 9, 2005, he has always been Chinese property.

Ha ha, you could kind of say the same thing about the entirety of the United States of America! Anyway, good-bye, dumb bear. Sorry you’re from such a weird, doomed species! At least you’re kind of cute, from a distance! [Washington Post]

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