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Dancing with the Stars, divorce, porn, etc.Famous dingbat Sarah Palin continues her exciting Publicity Tour of Middle America, and pretty soon she’ll be at the famous Giant Shopping Mall of Minnesota. Interested in covering her appearance? Well if you are, there’s a good chance you’re some kind of “reporter” or “communist.” What’s that? You speak the French? Then kindly go the fuck back to Russia because this is an AMERICAN event, for AMERICANS. Also, no questions or anything. Just watch her, quietly, for 10 minutes, and then get OUT come on this woman has books to sell!

TeeVee station WCCO of Minneapolis got a copy of these awesome Media Regulations for the Palin porn stop:

For Palin’s appearance at the Mall of America next week we received a list of seven media guidelines, including one stating there can be no foreign press — only English-speaking press and another that said media must address Palin as “Governor.”

The other rules include no interviews — but if the media want one, a request must be submitted to her publicist — plus no microphones, only background sound and pictures and only the first 10 minutes of her appearance can be taped.

Ha ha, the lazy trash quit being governor during her first term because she wanted to be a celebrity and sell a million books, but now she insists everyone act like she’s the “Governor.” Not even Twitter allows her to keep referring to herself as “Governor,” and Twitter is a just a sad computer picture of a bird or a whale.

We also like how there are NO INTERVIEWS, but if you want to do an interview with Palin, you must ask nicely. And? Ugh, this woman. When will she just lead her followers into the Lake of Fire and get it over with? [WCCO]

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  • MGBYG

    But what rules does Sarah play by?

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    I want to be addressed as “Young Man” because I was one, you know.

  • memzilla

    Perhaps her motorcade will cross one of those Minneapolis bridges that falls down because there aren’t enough taxes (that she doesn’t believe in) being collected to spend on the decaying infrastructure.

    Alternatively, maybe Canada will launch a preemptive first strike to prevent teh stupid from leaking across the border, not that they could home in on the GPS transponder on her vehicle or anything…

  • Bearbloke

    I can’t wait for her International book tour to commence – perhaps she’ll bring Bush and/or Cheney with her… then we can arrest all 3 of them…

  • qwerty42

    can she be addressed as “princess” instead?

  • shadowMark

    Sarah is really hoping that Mary will complete the proper paperwork for an interview with Ted because Sarah is sure Murray would write great questions that a great editor like Lou will double check and the whole segment on WJM would get a local emmy that Mary would accept with that eye-rolling yet spunky smile of hers and THAT’S THE KIND OF AMERICA Sarah Palin approves of so she’s really looking forward to this stop in Minnesota because she wants to meet Mary Richards in real life.

  • Sharkey

    Meg Stapleton? Our Hero? I hereby request that Baby Sara K-Smith interview Sarah in baby-speak.

  • mhale0

    See you next tuesday!

  • Barrelhse

    And the yokels flock to toss her the lucre. “Governor”?- what a presumptuous bitch. (Dismal cunt?)

  • Magnus Maximus

    I hope we get to see some photos of her Governorship buying a slice of cheese pizza from Sbarro.

  • ivenson
  • Chuckie Jesus

    I’m up here in the Minnesnowta. I’ll gladly get my heels on and yell TITS OR GTFO for Teh Wonkett.

  • Terry

    Really, Palin is exactly the politician you’d just be hankering to ask a question in a language other than English.

  • Sharkey

    Is “Governator” an acceptable mispronunciation?

    Also, computers don’t know which pictures are sad or not. They don’t have emotions.

  • Mahousu

    You know, she’s going to a state where Harold Stassen, Jesse Ventura and Tim Pawlenty have all been governors. I don’t think the title “Governor” is going to buy her quite as much respect as she thinks.

  • Bearbloke

    Perhaps everyone in attendance can play this simultaneously on their iphone-like devices…

  • Larry McAwful

    I would love to address her as “Governor.” If I saw her in a mall or a Waldenbooks somewhere, I’d shout, “Hey! Governor! Ms. Parnell! Can you break a twenty?” Then her security detail would knock me out cold.

  • Chuckie Jesus

    [re=471478]Terry[/re]: Really, Palin is exactly the politician you’d just be hankering to ask a question in a language other than English.

    Buenos Dias, Governor, Maria Elena Salinas, Univision. [In Spanish]Why should any of us take you seriously?[/In Spanish]

    Uh… Yo quiero Taco Bell, you betcha!

  • ShiningMathPath

    [re=471465]shadowMark[/re]: too much thinking

  • mollymcguire

    Playboy Magazine, March issue 2015:

    FIFTY AND STILL SEXY; THE (F)GILF

    SHE HUNTS WOLVES, BUT SHE CAN’T ESCAPE THE WHISTLES!

  • ShiningMathPath

    [re=471485]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: or perhaps the Etruscan salutation “Kyborg”?

  • snideinplainsight

    I prefer to be referred to as “The Baron Vladimir Smirnoff, Most Grand Czar of Snidery, Duke of Earl”. Just don’t call me late for dinner, also.

  • obfuscator

    media guideline #8: do not taunt happy fun ball.

  • shadowMark

    [re=471478]Terry[/re]: Führer Palin entfernen Sie Ihre Kleidung für uns?

  • DoctorCulturae

    Sarah? Who dat? Is she one of the dweebs who’s been boinking that famous golfer fella?

  • RoscoePColtraine

    What if I were a member of the foreign press, and what if I were to show up, and what if I were to have a pen and paper, and what if I were to just write a few observations, and what if I were to go back and publish my observations….would there be any problem with that???

    FREEDUMB!!!!

  • snideinplainsight

    Some people call me the gangster of love…

  • Sharkey

    [re=471466]Sharkey[/re]: Apparently it’s now Tina Andreadis, and I am an idiot.

    Ont-ils des journaux à Alaska ?

  • pampl

    I appreciate that she’s giving us the opportunity to see which reporters are so desperate and pathetic they’re willing to toss Palin salad just to get a little footage. I’m guessing attendance will be high.

  • NYNYNY

    What if I was Governor for a week? Would everyone call me Governor for the rest of my life? Also, do media people call Blagoivitch “Governor”?

  • Extemporanus

    TRUE FACT: The “Mall of America” is the largest redundancy in the world.

  • Decker

    [re=471493]shadowMark[/re]: Lieber Gott, meine Augen! Es brennt, es brennt!

    It’s a wonder she knows how to breathe.

  • imissopus

    FURRINERS GTFO

  • smitallica

    So wait. She’s been speaking English this whole time?

  • Guppy06

    But do these rules apply to former non-journalists?

  • PerhapsSo

    Governor is only a worthwhile address if it is said in a British accent, which clearly won’t happen if there is no foreign press there. Will some intrepid Minnesota reporter please address her as “pip pip, guv’nor” at least once? Pretty please?

  • Guppy06

    And remember: Sarah knows newspapers are ferrin because she reads all of them!

  • El Pinche

    MALL OF MURRIKKKA IS SACRED, NO SOCIALIST MARXIST EURO FURRINERS ALLOWED TO SET EYES ON SARAH. SHES THE MECCA OF CONSERVATISTS.

    YER DEMRATS ARE AFRIAD OF SARRAH!!

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=471481]Mahousu[/re]: Harold Stassen, as persistently pathetic as he may have become, was never as crazy as Governor Mooseclown. He was just an early test lab for the Peter Principle. Jesse Ventura may be a good comparison with the good Elk Goddess, though. And who is this Pawlenty of whom you speak?

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=471506]Extemporanus[/re]: Clearly you’ve never been to West Edmonton Mall!!!

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=471511]PerhapsSo[/re]: Wot ho? The thought of Sarah Palin spending a summer at Bernie Wooster’s estate makes me long for the childhood in the south of England I never had (on the other hand I’m thankful I didn’t grow up in Another Country).

  • assistant/atlas

    “Twitter is a just a sad computer picture of a bird or a whale.”

    Best. Description. Of. My. Hate. Ever.

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=471509]smitallica[/re]: You betcha! She speaks English in the tradition of Edward Lear and Lewis Carroll. In fact I’m quite sure that she engages with the snark each day after dark.

  • Oh hell to the no

    As an unemployed resident of Minnesota, it is my duty to indulge in alcohol (and some food) at one of the MOA’s dining establishments and report on this shitshow from one of the 3 levels of the Rotunda above the first floor. Something I might do. Or I’ll stay in bed all day. Either.

  • AddHomonym

    Sarah — excusez moi, Gouvernor Palin, qu’est-ce que vous avez fait avec vos sac a dildeaux?

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=471518]assistant/atlas[/re]: I can’t really blame you for feeling hate, Atlas, what with holding up the world and wot not, but I think this twitter thing has a role to play. The wingnuts tend to think in spur of the moment short blasts. And smart people with a sense of humour tend to monitor the spigots of potentially funny content.

    So it’s really one of these things often referred to in the vernacular as “win-win”.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=471516]phineas_bounderby[/re]: Clearly, you’ve never been to America.

    Though considering the relentless, ruthless, global brand of idustrious capitalism that your nom de Wonkette brings to mind, I could very well be mistaken.

    And yet!

    Does the West Edmonton Mall have a Camp FUCKING Snoopy amusement park inside of it? A General FUCKING Mills “Cereal Experience” attraction? A wedding dress store, multi-denominationl wedding chapel, and divorce FUCKING lawyer’s office all right next door to each other, and within puking distance of a food court?

    I pray that the answer is “No”, or North America is in way worse shape than I thought.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=471523]Extemporanus[/re]: By the way, “idustrious capitalism” is what Lou Dobb’s maid practices.

  • Oh hell to the no

    Um, Camp Snoopy isn’t there anymore nor is there a General Mills Cereal Adventure anymore. It’s called Nickelodeon Universe. Also, don’t forget Underwater World!

    But yeah, it’s all tragic.

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=471523]Extemporanus[/re]: I visited America once in my youth. I saw pastoral pecan groves and cotton fields. And I saw no copulating Snoopies or Cereal. Also.

  • obfuscator

    [re=471511]PerhapsSo[/re]: “guv’na palin! might you expand on the reasons why your base is composed of a bunch of bloody nutters? all this faffin’ is a lot of shite! buncha bollocks.”

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=471528]Oh hell to the no[/re]: You really betcha. And I say that as an urban elitist from a number of Canadian and US cities. Steve McQueen said “I would rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on earth.” My own quote would be “I’d rather wake up in any city on earth than in any dismal sprawl”.

  • King of the Dipshits

    Maybe the English Speaking press restriction and the having to call her “governor” rule are meant to be read together so that all of the media will have to dress as chimney sweeps and address her in a fake British accent with something like “Ello Govna.”

    Or possibly she only wants American media present because of her propensity to mistake anyone with a French accent for Nicolas Sarkozy.

  • obfuscator

    [re=471532]phineas_bounderby[/re]: “i’d rather pass conjoined twins thru my urethra than listen to sarah palin speak at the mall of america.”

  • Oh hell to the no

    I’m only going because I believe there’s a special place in Heaven for anyone willing to endure the hell of watching Palin at the MOA purely for the hilarity that will ensue. And to shout “quitter!” at the end of her signing, also.

  • obfuscator

    [re=471538]Oh hell to the no[/re]: i normally wouldn’t support this, but i’d love to see some wonk-fags or lib-queers gather outside the mall and burn a few hundred copies of GOVERNOR sarah palin’s book.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    Well I’m glad they found a mall big enough to contain her awesomeness.

  • BetterDaysAreComing

    Just who, pray tell, is taking care of her special needs baby while she runs around being special needs GOVERNOR?

  • Suds McKenzie

    She should just stay there on permanent display.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’m going to call her Gover Palin. It’s like I was going to say Governor, but quit a bit more than halfway through.

  • ccwx

    if you all would take a little breather from your hate/fear and intolerance here to read the entire article..you would see the following statement from the MOA in the WCCO story: “We inadvertently distributed internal protocol for the event rather than actual media guidelines,” the statement read.”

    I have been a journalist at this station and worked with the MOA and this is pretty standard.

    Why would you twist a fact to spread hate and fear of those who are not “your kind?” What are you doing here to make the world better?

    Is it only the right of the ivy league educated to attempt to make a difference. Is it your mission to crush diversity by twisting the truth? Because it sure sounds like you are your the enemy you cry so loudly against.

    And it’s sad.

  • Guppy06

    “I have been a journalist at this station and worked with the MOA and this is pretty standard.”

    So it’s standard at the Mall to address guests as “governor” while turning away them Spanish? What a remarkable coincidence for Citizen Palin!

  • Suds McKenzie

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: You will not get my hate/fear/intolerance unless you pry it from my cold dead hands –

    p.s. “twisting the truth” about Sister Sarah ? That’s Rich

  • Oh hell to the no

    Really? This is standard MOA protocol? “No foreign press” is standard? Also, how is diversity being hurt here? If this were a non-issue then your beloved WCCO wouldn’t have published it in the first place. In fact, they would have probably pointed out this was standard protocol for the MOA. So, maybe you should take this up with your former employer, where there I’m certain there are some non-Ivy League grads and stop getting on Wonkette’s case for linking to this.

    – Not An Ivy League Grad

  • Escape Goat Nation

    Well that explains why he signed my book, “Governor Richard Dawkins”

  • Oh hell to the no

    @Obfuscator: That means we’d have to acquire 100 copies of the GOV’NAH’s book and then touch them. Haven’t you heard The Stupid is contagious?

  • Herman the German

    [re=471493]shadowMark[/re]: Congratulations.
    That’s almost correct German.

  • rottenart

    [re=471507]Decker[/re]: Die dumm, es brennt ES BRENNT! Deutsch ist so geil. Und so perfekt für dieses situation.

  • Potater

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: “HARUMPH HARUMPH HARUMPH HARUMPH HARUMPH HARUMPH!”

    Wingnut, your misunderstanding of “diversity” troubles me. When liberals say they want diversity they mean they want intelligent people of different backgrounds and perspectives to contribute to a well-rounded social environment. They do not mean lying, quitting, lazy, stupid, Muslim-hating, self-entitled Heathers like Empress Sarah. Get your brown-streaked panties out of a twist and actually understand WHY we hate Sarah so.

  • rottenart

    [re=471558]Herman the German[/re]: Ach. Ich hab dich da nicht gesehen. Mein Deutsch ist auch bald genau…

  • zhubajie

    [re=471478]Terry[/re]: Russian!

  • LowerdPeninsula

    I hear that you can call her Governor Palin, but Ms. Palin…if you’re nasty. Well, you could also call her Governor Shit-head, if you’re nasty.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    BTW, I’m not sure if anyone’s mentioned, but this is one sweet-assed Blingee, of here. By far my favorite: Sarah: Plain & Gangsta, I call it.

  • zhubajie

    [re=471504]NYNYNY[/re]: Will she go visit Blago? Maybe witness to him, lead him to Christ??

  • Boojum

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: Hate/fear and intolerance is wrong. Contempt/disdain and disgust, much closer.

    And while I agree that diversity can include a diversity of intellect, I’m not sure how adding more of teh mouth breathing stoopid is helpful.

    (Graduate of a Southern Public University)

  • Extemporanus

    [re=471528]Oh hell to the no[/re]: Wait, what?!

    Campy Snoopy, gone? Cereal Adventure, gone? American Dream, GONE?!

    NOOOOOO!

    My sister’s first college job was at Camp Snoopy; the last meal my family had together before my grandparents passed away was at Camp Snoopy (heartwrenching, I know); the hotel I stayed at for my sister’s wedding was right across the street from Mall of America; the lame-ass wedding present my wife and I got my sister was from a Mall of America kiosk (FYI: Mall of America does not sell vases of any kind, so don’t even think about purchasing last minute items—such as luck bamboo plants—that require one); I carried my 3 year-old nephew on my shoulders as we experienced the General Mills “Cereal Experience”, and created a custom cereal mix with him that was 50% Trix, 50% Lucky Charms, and 100% Awesome; etc.

    That was 6(?) years ago; I haven’t set foot in a “mall” ever since. And there isn’t a Freedom Tray big enough to contain the tear-soaked tsunami of sorrow that reports of the Mall of America’s tragic decline has brought forth.

    I hope you’re happy, Sarah Palin.

    I hope you’re fucking happy…

  • Herman the German

    [re=471562]rottenart[/re]: Yeah, I wonder what will happen, when your future Führer Palin is going to meet our Führer Merkel. Perhaps they are going to annihilate each other like an electron and a positron.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=471546]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Thank you.

    This made me feel much more better.

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: “Because it sure sounds like you are your the enemy you cry so loudly against.

    And it’s sad.”

    I am are our enemy, indeed. And I is cry so loudly it are sad.

    It are so, so sad…

  • zhubajie

    Interview Todd! He’s sure to say something embarrassing, given a chance!

  • x111e7thst

    [re=471562]rottenart[/re]:
    Die Luft ist kühl und es dunkelt,
    Und ruhig fließt der des Moines
    Der (Die?) Blingee von Palin leuchtet
    Im Abendsonnenschein

  • Herman the German

    [re=471580]x111e7thst[/re]: DAS (!!!) Blingee.

  • Boondock Saint

    Cum Dumpster. Also.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=471581]Herman the German[/re]: Who made that rule and where do I go to appeal it?

  • Suds McKenzie

    [re=471561]Potater[/re]: revre

  • Gumboz1953

    [re=471521]AddHomonym[/re]: Mon dieu. You speak cajun. Alseaux.

  • Herman the German

    [re=471585]x111e7thst[/re]: These rules are made by our language-Führers from the Duden. We spend most of our time to learn them.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    Darf ich bitte die Scheide riechen?

    –Governor Schwarzenegger

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: So you step on in, make a number of irresponsible claims, and… disappear? If you want to be taken seriously among the grownups, be prepared to stand fire and debate, not cut ‘n run like a Palin would.

    (I graduated from Portland State, by the way)

  • Hunger Tallest Palin

    A spokesman for the Mall of America declined to comment in an interview but issued a written statement apologizing to Palin, calling it “an internal miscommunication.”

    “We inadvertently distributed internal protocol for the event rather than actual media guidelines,” the statement read.

    What? Clearly the Palin Failin is contagious, like cooties.

  • betterDeadThanRed

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: Two things come to mind:

    If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
    The pot calling the kettle black.

    “What are you doing here to make the world better?”
    Mocking a fake, lying, hate mongering “Governor” Palin for everyones amusement so we can stand another day of this hell that the “conservative” movement has made out of our America. Also.

  • arewethereyet

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: so we are all guvnahs today, if we were in minnasota….cool.

  • mn_sleuth

    [re=471545]Suds McKenzie[/re]:
    “She should just stay there on permanent display.” No way! We already have one crazy woman name Michelle Bachmann to deal with.

  • keepintime

    [re=471481]Mahousu[/re]:

    Good point. It’s also not in her best interests to keep reminding everyone that she’s an habitual quitter. Seems to me her stunted stint as governor is something she’d rather we all forget. Sure have to wonder why it’s become such a badge of honor in her mind all of a sudden. It sure didn’t mean much to her when she actually WAS governor of Alaska.

  • El Pinche

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: jeeebus.. someone needs prozac.

  • nonbeliever7

    Someone enterprising librul needs to print up some 3XL t-shirts with Barbie’s photo and the words “Americas True Demagogue” underneath. Just tell everyone it’s a religious compliment and you’ll sell hundreds.

  • Keram2

    [re=471511]PerhapsSo[/re]: Your plan is flawed: NO FOREIGNS!

    By the way, I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one who thought of this.

  • TGY

    Cool. That way we can address her as ‘The Virgin Sarah Palin’, too. What an immaculate conception.

    Also, you may all address me as ‘Sir Enormous Hardcock’, but I’ll wave the title on informal occasions.

  • jetjaguar

    soooooo MAVRICKY!!!!!

  • Darkness

    Baby jeebus, this woman is Bush in Drag. Have we ever seen the two of them together? I rest my case.

  • Chuckie Jesus

    [re=471576]Extemporanus:[/re] Oh hell to the no: Wait, what?!

    Campy Snoopy, gone? Cereal Adventure, gone? American Dream, GONE?!

    NOOOOOO!

    The 9/11 store also hasn’t been around for a while.

    I used to work in one of the newspaper kiosks on the first floor back when it first opened. 612, reprazent. It was fucked up back then, it’s been fucked up in the middle (back when they had “The 9/11 Store”, and now, due to knowing Sarah Palin’s going to fuck up traffic around here for a while, it will be fucked up now and forever.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    I’d bloody hate for Grannie Palin to be governess to my kids. I’m holding out for Mary Poppins.

  • Darkness

    [re=471490]ShiningMathPath[/re]: I was thinking “Caesar” myself or the German pronunciation, except that might be Godwin (who knows these days).

  • Darkness

    [re=471493]shadowMark[/re]: [re=471558]Herman the German[/re]: The key to almost German is to speak it very quickly and let your (probably beer hazed) listener fill in the gaps subconsciously.

    (–also not an Ivy League Grad. Public Big Ten, thank you.)

  • Darkness

    [re=471556]Oh hell to the no[/re]: NAH. Print 100 copies of the slip cover and put them on some of those free hardcovers that sit molding outside most any used book store. Come on, use your imagination.

    (–still not an ivy-leaguer)

  • binarian

    [re=471595]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: So you step on in, make a number of irresponsible claims, and… disappear?

    Yes, this is what internet trolls do. He/She/It is probably reading the responses and snickering as we speak. Also Chickenhawk Keyboard Kommando types.

    ccwx, we don’t hate or fear, just disparage(sp?). Ms. Palin quit her job yet still insists on being addressed as Governer? Now THAT’S sad.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=471460]MGBYG[/re]: Actually at the turn of the century you were as likely to hear French in Moscow or Petrograd as Russian. But then something happened.

  • Rusty Shackleford

    And DO NOT look her in the eye, speak ONLY if spoken to, and NO personalized autographs, she signs everything “Governor Snowbilly.”

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: That brought a tear to my eye. I would also like to alert you that kkshoe com mall for you, which involves a number of well-known brands from the Asia-Pacific region the trend of merchandise. Promotional discounts should be, come SHOPPING bar!Christmas sale, free shipping discounts are beautifully gift ,Christmas gifts,look, Best quality, Best reputation , Best services Service is our Lift.

    Pretty sure they sell giant black dildoes, so you can think of it as the ultimate one-stop shopping solution.

  • binarian

    [re=471686]Valentin1982[/re]: Great. Spammers now. Wonderful.

  • Leftie Lucy

    Is it true that there are apartments for rent INSIDE the Mall of America? Because watching this event from my carpeted mall-view living room balcony would be a new peak experience.

    (–a Seven Sisters grad. Any Ivy Leaguer will be happy to expound upon our inferiority and how we’re all lesbians anyway.)

  • havefunordie

    MAUL of AMERICA

  • Paterlanger

    [re=471546]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Best coinage of the week. With your permission I will adopt also, also.

  • norbizness

    INSERT SAME SARAH PALIN JOKE FOR THE 4,218th TIME.

  • This Cat

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: We’re here trying to make the world better? I thought we were making jokes about pandas and assfucking.

  • vladster

    and you must call me…miguel

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=471682]binarian[/re]: I treat everybody who bothers me the same: the way I treat my students.

    Neilist is a pain in the ass but at least he sticks up for himself and isn’t a miserable fucking coward like this dipshit.

  • pub_option

    [re=471572]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: The Blingee reminds me more of Hunter S. Thompson. Did she ever buy good stuff from Levi’s mother?

  • Flanders

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: “We inadvertently distributed internal protocol for the event rather than actual media guidelines,” HA HA that means (in AN”Y language) we fucked up big-time.

    University of Washington grad

  • Flanders

    [re=471774]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Valentin1982 and ccwx make me long for Neilist,

  • Jim89048

    Wait. Are Lutherans still considered foreign? She’s gonna have a tough time filling her mall, if so.
    For my $16 does she wear the antlers for the picture? A picture of the Moosiah without antlers just won’t work for me.

  • EvlUnclBud

    I want Michele Bachmann to show up for her book signing. That would be epic.

  • EvlUnclBud

    Will Michele Bachmann show up for the book signing? That would be epic.

  • Decker

    [re=471560]rottenart[/re]: Eben – “Zwei Dinge sind unendlich: Das Universum und die Menschliche Dummheit. Aber beim Universum bin ich mir nicht ganz sicher.” – Einstein

    Na, der musste wegen extrem Dummheiten auswandern.

  • S.Luggo

    It is clear the type of situation that the Palin folks are trying to avoid:

    Madame gouverneur, m’appelle Marcel Marcel, Paris Match. “The pen of my uncle is in the inkwell of my aunt.” Votre commentaire?

  • montresor

    I see Governor Medusa’s next appearance is in Fort Hood, Texas, where she’ll be signing her book and, according to claims made by her PR Play-Doh poop factory, will ostensibly be donating all royalties from Fort Hood sales to the families of the people killed in the Fort Hood shootings. Am I the only one disgusted by this sickening exploitation of peoples’ personal tragedies? And how much you want to bet she makes some kind of Liebermanesque statements about combating terrorism over there so we don’t have any more Muslin Terrist attacks like this one? Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh! Meantime, her PR loafpinching extruder is claiming that 20,000 tickets for her Fort Hood appearance were snatched up in under two days! Can someone with a calculator and a knowledge of the average royalty arrangement please come up with a figure that probably actually won’t be donated?

  • marioninnyc

    But the press is SOO mean to her! And they keep sending those fake reporters with the funny accents from Canada to mess with her, so of course she has to protect herself from them. Fortunately, once she’s Prez, she won’t have to worry about that anymore since most of ’em are Jews (or work for Jews) and will be going back to the Holy Land.

  • labenson27

    Freakin’ oxygen thief….

  • DeLand DeLakes

    [re=471493]shadowMark[/re]: SIDESHOW MOOSETITS UBER ALLES

  • DeLand DeLakes

    [re=471523]Extemporanus[/re]: My mom and stepdad got married there, Christmas Eve, 1998. Seriously.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: Is it only the right of the ivy league educated to attempt to make a difference.

    No, but it is the exclusive right of the Ivy League to capitalize proper nouns and end interrogatives with a question mark.

  • noodleman

    [re=471481]Mahousu[/re]: Stassen only became a joke years after being MN governor. At the height of his fame, he was youngest candidate ever elected to a US governorship; he is also remembered as the head of US delegation that chartered the United Nation. In between Japan’s surrender and the start of the Occupation, in August, 1945, Stassen also led military missions to rescue Allied POWs still imprisoned in Japan.

  • foulmouthed mrscreant

    I wonder if the twitter quitter will arrive at Fort Hood in her campaign bus with $arahPAC plastered all over it, and diss the president and let her dumbass dad tell soldiers and their families that the president is scary. And then give some money to the families and then ask for a donation to $arahPAC after scaring the bejeebus out of everyone. It’s not fucking right. Fuck the half term quitter, fuck her father, fuck Jason Recher her campaign aid, and a special fuck you to John McCain (fuck you you fucking fucker), fuck them all. IRS, PLEASE!?
    Rant over.

  • uncletravelingmatt

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: “And it’s sad.”

    Someone’s non-Ivy League J-School credentials are showing.

    And it’s sad.

    Also.

  • Neilist

    Whoever added that Glock to the Blingee: My Deepest Appreciation.

    (But is it a Model 23 (S&W .40 cal.) or a M 19 (9mm)? Batshit Crazy America NEEDS to KNOW!)

  • Oh hell to the no

    Okay, so which Minnesota Wonketteers will be joining me for the Palin Show: The Greatest Gift of All?

  • ShiningMathPath

    [re=471642]Darkness[/re]: jawohl, Kaiserin Palin!

  • natteringnabomb

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: Twist facts to spread hate and fear among those who are not your kind.Are you referring to Sarah’s M.O. her book or politicians in general?

  • TCDang

    [re=472171]Oh hell to the no[/re]: I would totally be there but for a family-wide cold. Please REPRESENT…

  • Custersdeadhorse

    [re=471547]ccwx[/re]: Damn, I hadn’t realized that the University of Kansas was Ivy League even though their school song does refer to it as Harvard on the Kaw (the Native American name of the Kansas River).

  • villageatrois

    [re=471515]phineas_bounderby[/re]: “And who is this Pawlenty of whom you speak?”

    It’s an Italian food thing. Mario Batale says its great and he’s fatter than a brace of Arkansas governors.

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