war of the racists

Anti-Mexican Group Attacks Former Mexican-Hating Hero Lou Dobbs For Suddenly Claiming To Not Hate Mexicans That Much

Dumb fat fuck.Bloated pigsicle Lou Dobbs left his stupid CNN show (and its 14 viewers) because a Ghost Mexican (New Jersey deer hunter) shot a gun in the vicinity of Dobbs’ acreage, and also because Lou Dobbs had somehow deluded himself into thinking there were people somewhere who gave a shit about him. But it turns out that repeating the jabbering lunacy of, say, a Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin does not make *you* a Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin if you aren’t a) on Fox News, or b) a person with tits. (Okay, that is not fair, Lou Dobbs probably has tits.) Anyway, the anti-Mexican Immigrant group that was Dobbs’ only constituency has dumped him, because now he claims not to hate Mexicans as much as he used to hate Mexicans.

Here is an actual Press Release your editor received via the gmail on this very morning:

ALIPAC Withdraws Support for Lou Dobbs

(MMD Newswire) December 3, 2009 — Americans for Legal Immigration PAC is withdrawing support for Lou Dobbs after years, including the suspension of websites calling on Dobbs to run for President due to the perceived change in Mr. Dobbs’s stances on immigration issues.

“While Mr. Dobbs claims his positions have not changed, however, that is not the perception of many of our mutual supporters,” said William Gheen of ALIPAC. “His recent comments on Telemundo and his national radio show supporting some kind of path to citizenship for illegal immigrants is inconsistent with positions of ALIPAC and the views of most American citizens.”

Oh jesus, they’re even shutting down the only websites on Earth to ever actually promote Lou Dobbs as some sort of politician? Good-bye, Lou! Thanks for playing Survivor: Racist Asshole. You lost.

(Oh whoops, dudes, you forgot to actually shut down the LouDobbsforPresident.org website. Might want to take care of that, next time, before you send out a press release to the entire planet. Lamers.)

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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2 comments

  1. rottenart

    Won’t someone, SOMEONE take pity on our last great freedom fighter? I’m with you, Lou (sniff). Go for the gold.

  2. memzilla

    In case anyone wishes to contact Mr. Gheen:

    Domain ID:D150573595-LROR
    Domain Name:LOUDOBBSFORPRESIDENT.ORG

    [Personal info removed because we do not encourage jackass internet harassment -- Ed.]

  3. SmutBoffin

    pigsicle = gigalolz

    Hah, and anyone who describes themself as a “populist”, like Lou, probably isn’t. As a matter of fact, they deserve nothing but scorn and projectiles of scalding-hot walrus poo.

  4. Lazy Media

    They had to shorten the name from Americans for Legal Immigration By Two Rich White Men From England Per Century Political Action Committee (ALIBTWMFMPCPAC).

  5. Barcode of the Apocalypse

    There’s some confusion — Lou Dobbs was supporting some kind of path to MEXICAN citizenship for illegal immigrants. Because Mexican law does not currently recognize subhumans as qualifying for citizenship. So unfair to the subhuman illegal immigrants, and where can we dump them all, except Mexico?


  6. Post author
    Ken Layne

    Please[re=470814]memzilla[/re]: Please don’t do this kind of Michele Malkin crap here, okay?

  7. earnestcivilservant

    He had to alter his stance on illegals when he left his job, because he was home spending more time with his his Hispanic wife and his Hispanic in-laws who live with him!

  8. Paterlanger

    Just who does this man think he is? Advocating that illegals should somehow be given a path to citizenship?!? There is a path already Lou, it’s called the birth canal. You can’t just go around makin’ Mexicans into Americans by fiat like some sort of king! Not yet anyway.

  9. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Shouldn’t that be “Tamale shucking, underage Mexican boy humping, bloated pigsicle Lou Dobbs”? On account of truth in advertising, is all.

  10. ivenson

    First draft of their press release:

    “His recent comments on Tele-fucking-mundo. Need we elaborate? The end.”

  11. freakishlystrong

    Gee Ken. You’re really waffling about this Dobbs character. Get off that fence man and state your opinion…oh wait, just read the alt text. Nevermind.

  12. Snarkalicious

    [re=470816]Lazy Media[/re]: But Rupert Murdoch is Austrailian. Oh well, I guess they can’t tell the difference anyhow, what with those funny furner accents and all.

  13. stew

    Wonk, you’re kidding yourself if you think Dobbs doesn’t have some major moobs. I hear when he speaks before the Daughters Of The American Revolution, he’s wears pasties.

  14. bureaucrap

    [re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: You may as well. Even before you posted the link, it appears that the vast majority of his guests were telling him to go f**k himself. For exactly the wrong reason, of course.

  15. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: Heh. Their guestbook doesn’t go from “First” to “Last” but rather “Top” and “Bottom.” Begging the question: if Lou is the Top, is Tucker Carlson the Bottom?

  16. ivenson

    [re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: From said guestbook:

    “December 01, 2009 – 07:36 PM
    BXX FXXXXXX – Phoenix, AZ

    After hearing the Telemundo interview and the Gheen interview, I officially WITHDRAW any pedged support, monetary or otherwise from Lou Dobbs. If I want to be sold out on amnesty, I already have one McCain, I don’t need two. I am so done with you. Bye Bye!
    Serious as a heart attack,
    BXXXXXXX H. FXXXXX III”

    I’d like to believe that Mr. FXXXXX uses this same sign off on all of his correspondence:

    Dear Aunt Jen,
    Thank you so much for making time to attend Jimmy’s bris. The malted milk balls were not only thoughtful, but delicious (Marge keeps asking me where I’ve hidden them…I’ll never tell!).
    Anyhoo, it was great to see you and the boys. I hope G-d blesses you real good in the coming year and the restraining order doesn’t interfere too much with bow hunting season (Reg tells me you’re a regular “Willamena Tell”!).
    Serious as a heart attack,
    BXXXXXXXX H. FXXXXX III

  17. The Church of Realism

    [re=470849]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I just added my screed, this is fun. Should be easy to spot.

  18. Georgia Burning

    [re=470844]WadISay[/re]: the train to Crazytown was a lot more fun before Dreamland Security took over the baggage inspection.

  19. montyburns4prez

    You mean Lou Dobbs took on an anti-immigration stance to boost his ratings on CNN? I’m shocked and appalled. Also.

  20. Cicada

    [re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: That was fun! It’s hard to believe that a pack of rabid xenophobic nutters would turn so quickly on someone for one remark. Live and learn.

  21. One Yield Regular

    I can’t hear Lou Dobbs’ name without picturing him at the front of the crowd in that scene in Roland Emmerich’s otherwise awful “The Day After Tomorrow” when thousands of U.S. refugees stream desperately across the Tijuana/San Ysidro border crossing into Mexico.

  22. Lazy Media

    [re=470842]Snarkalicious[/re]: He speaks ENGLISH, don’t he? Therefore he’s from England. Duh.

  23. Manos: Hands of Fate

    [re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: I couldn’t tell who was being on the Guest book and who wasn’t.

  24. problemwithcaring

    Thank you, Wonkette overlords, for “bloated pigcicle.” I can’t even re-type it with laughing aloud in my cubicle.

  25. Extemporanus

    Is “pigsicle” American for “weinersickle”?

    And if so, wouldn’t it be more accurate to call Dobbs a “cerduhoz”?

  26. Cicada

    [re=471172]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Hahahaha. He’s the POTUS, you sad silly fartsack! No matter how much you can’t wrap your orange head around the fact. Now show some respect, you hyperbolic piece of rat vomit.

    God I hate Lou Dobbs.

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  28. Zulu

    Man, aint dis a bitch! We’re running out of vapid, ignant, bloated white pigsicles to fuck with. Life aint fair!

  29. Advocate54

    Willy Gheen is a nobody, as evidenced repeatedly on the cutting edge website Immigration Clearinghouse.

    Gheen’s ALIPAC is nothing more that a machine to generate income for the pompous bastard and give a platform to his hysterics and fearmongering.

    Like a jackass braying at the moon!

  30. CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us

    “Bloated pigsicle Lou Dobbs…” I didn’t even read the rest of the article because it just cannot get any better than that.

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