WAR OF THE RACISTS  12:09 pm December 3, 2009

Anti-Mexican Group Attacks Former Mexican-Hating Hero Lou Dobbs For Suddenly Claiming To Not Hate Mexicans That Much

by Ken Layne

Dumb fat fuck.Bloated pigsicle Lou Dobbs left his stupid CNN show (and its 14 viewers) because a Ghost Mexican (New Jersey deer hunter) shot a gun in the vicinity of Dobbs’ acreage, and also because Lou Dobbs had somehow deluded himself into thinking there were people somewhere who gave a shit about him. But it turns out that repeating the jabbering lunacy of, say, a Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin does not make *you* a Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin if you aren’t a) on Fox News, or b) a person with tits. (Okay, that is not fair, Lou Dobbs probably has tits.) Anyway, the anti-Mexican Immigrant group that was Dobbs’ only constituency has dumped him, because now he claims not to hate Mexicans as much as he used to hate Mexicans.

Here is an actual Press Release your editor received via the gmail on this very morning:

ALIPAC Withdraws Support for Lou Dobbs

(MMD Newswire) December 3, 2009 — Americans for Legal Immigration PAC is withdrawing support for Lou Dobbs after years, including the suspension of websites calling on Dobbs to run for President due to the perceived change in Mr. Dobbs’s stances on immigration issues.

“While Mr. Dobbs claims his positions have not changed, however, that is not the perception of many of our mutual supporters,” said William Gheen of ALIPAC. “His recent comments on Telemundo and his national radio show supporting some kind of path to citizenship for illegal immigrants is inconsistent with positions of ALIPAC and the views of most American citizens.”

Oh jesus, they’re even shutting down the only websites on Earth to ever actually promote Lou Dobbs as some sort of politician? Good-bye, Lou! Thanks for playing Survivor: Racist Asshole. You lost.

(Oh whoops, dudes, you forgot to actually shut down the LouDobbsforPresident.org website. Might want to take care of that, next time, before you send out a press release to the entire planet. Lamers.)

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 49 comments }

rottenart December 3, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Won’t someone, SOMEONE take pity on our last great freedom fighter? I’m with you, Lou (sniff). Go for the gold.

Humpback December 3, 2009 at 12:13 pm

But I love you both! Decide between yourselves which I marry and which I have an affair with.

Monsieur Grumpe December 3, 2009 at 12:15 pm

The independents are always looking candidates.
Liebermann/Dobbs 2012

memzilla December 3, 2009 at 12:16 pm

In case anyone wishes to contact Mr. Gheen:

Domain ID:D150573595-LROR
Domain Name:LOUDOBBSFORPRESIDENT.ORG

[Personal info removed because we do not encourage jackass internet harassment -- Ed.]

SmutBoffin December 3, 2009 at 12:16 pm

pigsicle = gigalolz

Hah, and anyone who describes themself as a “populist”, like Lou, probably isn’t. As a matter of fact, they deserve nothing but scorn and projectiles of scalding-hot walrus poo.

Lazy Media December 3, 2009 at 12:17 pm

They had to shorten the name from Americans for Legal Immigration By Two Rich White Men From England Per Century Political Action Committee (ALIBTWMFMPCPAC).

Barcode of the Apocalypse December 3, 2009 at 12:17 pm

There’s some confusion — Lou Dobbs was supporting some kind of path to MEXICAN citizenship for illegal immigrants. Because Mexican law does not currently recognize subhumans as qualifying for citizenship. So unfair to the subhuman illegal immigrants, and where can we dump them all, except Mexico?

Ken Layne December 3, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Please[re=470814]memzilla[/re]: Please don’t do this kind of Michele Malkin crap here, okay?

DemmeFatale December 3, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Live by the sword, die by the sword!

memzilla December 3, 2009 at 12:19 pm

[re=470818]Ken Layne[/re]: Oh, OK. But they’re just so damn deserving of it.

earnestcivilservant December 3, 2009 at 12:19 pm

He had to alter his stance on illegals when he left his job, because he was home spending more time with his his Hispanic wife and his Hispanic in-laws who live with him!

Paterlanger December 3, 2009 at 12:23 pm

Just who does this man think he is? Advocating that illegals should somehow be given a path to citizenship?!? There is a path already Lou, it’s called the birth canal. You can’t just go around makin’ Mexicans into Americans by fiat like some sort of king! Not yet anyway.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 3, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Shouldn’t that be “Tamale shucking, underage Mexican boy humping, bloated pigsicle Lou Dobbs”? On account of truth in advertising, is all.

S.Luggo December 3, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Guest book. Ummm, must not use. Must. Not. Use. Help me.

http://www.loudobbsforpresident.org/guestbook/index.php

ivenson December 3, 2009 at 12:30 pm

First draft of their press release:

“His recent comments on Tele-fucking-mundo. Need we elaborate? The end.”

freakishlystrong December 3, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Gee Ken. You’re really waffling about this Dobbs character. Get off that fence man and state your opinion…oh wait, just read the alt text. Nevermind.

bitchincamaro December 3, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Racist melon head.

Snarkalicious December 3, 2009 at 12:33 pm

[re=470816]Lazy Media[/re]: But Rupert Murdoch is Austrailian. Oh well, I guess they can’t tell the difference anyhow, what with those funny furner accents and all.

TGY December 3, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Soon he will lose the fake orange tan, too.

WadISay December 3, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Moral: if you get on the train to Crazytown, plan to stay on until the last stop.

stew December 3, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Wonk, you’re kidding yourself if you think Dobbs doesn’t have some major moobs. I hear when he speaks before the Daughters Of The American Revolution, he’s wears pasties.

freakishlystrong December 3, 2009 at 12:34 pm

[re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: Wow! That’s a racist, toxic stew over there. I need a shower.

bureaucrap December 3, 2009 at 12:36 pm

[re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: You may as well. Even before you posted the link, it appears that the vast majority of his guests were telling him to go f**k himself. For exactly the wrong reason, of course.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 3, 2009 at 12:36 pm

[re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: Heh. Their guestbook doesn’t go from “First” to “Last” but rather “Top” and “Bottom.” Begging the question: if Lou is the Top, is Tucker Carlson the Bottom?

ivenson December 3, 2009 at 12:39 pm

[re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: From said guestbook:

“December 01, 2009 – 07:36 PM
BXX FXXXXXX – Phoenix, AZ

After hearing the Telemundo interview and the Gheen interview, I officially WITHDRAW any pedged support, monetary or otherwise from Lou Dobbs. If I want to be sold out on amnesty, I already have one McCain, I don’t need two. I am so done with you. Bye Bye!
Serious as a heart attack,
BXXXXXXX H. FXXXXX III”

I’d like to believe that Mr. FXXXXX uses this same sign off on all of his correspondence:

Dear Aunt Jen,
Thank you so much for making time to attend Jimmy’s bris. The malted milk balls were not only thoughtful, but delicious (Marge keeps asking me where I’ve hidden them…I’ll never tell!).
Anyhoo, it was great to see you and the boys. I hope G-d blesses you real good in the coming year and the restraining order doesn’t interfere too much with bow hunting season (Reg tells me you’re a regular “Willamena Tell”!).
Serious as a heart attack,
BXXXXXXXX H. FXXXXX III

Decker December 3, 2009 at 12:46 pm

[re=470844]WadISay[/re]: Double Indumbnity

The Church of Realism December 3, 2009 at 12:52 pm

[re=470849]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I just added my screed, this is fun. Should be easy to spot.

Georgia Burning December 3, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=470844]WadISay[/re]: the train to Crazytown was a lot more fun before Dreamland Security took over the baggage inspection.

ALIVE! December 3, 2009 at 1:07 pm

[re=470806]rottenart[/re]: [re=470807]Humpback[/re]: Separated at birth?

montyburns4prez December 3, 2009 at 1:12 pm

You mean Lou Dobbs took on an anti-immigration stance to boost his ratings on CNN? I’m shocked and appalled. Also.

Cicada December 3, 2009 at 1:14 pm

[re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: That was fun! It’s hard to believe that a pack of rabid xenophobic nutters would turn so quickly on someone for one remark. Live and learn.

One Yield Regular December 3, 2009 at 1:21 pm

I can’t hear Lou Dobbs’ name without picturing him at the front of the crowd in that scene in Roland Emmerich’s otherwise awful “The Day After Tomorrow” when thousands of U.S. refugees stream desperately across the Tijuana/San Ysidro border crossing into Mexico.

user-of-owls December 3, 2009 at 1:25 pm

Ahem, MY editor is Jesus.

Oh, no, wait.

My gardener is Jesus.

Lazy Media December 3, 2009 at 2:05 pm

[re=470842]Snarkalicious[/re]: He speaks ENGLISH, don’t he? Therefore he’s from England. Duh.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 3, 2009 at 2:08 pm

[re=470837]S.Luggo[/re]: I couldn’t tell who was being on the Guest book and who wasn’t.

thefrontpage December 3, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Lou Dobbs: You’re a dickhead.

That may not be clever, but it feels great!

S.Luggo December 3, 2009 at 3:11 pm

[re=470926]user-of-owls[/re]: Win.

problemwithcaring December 3, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Thank you, Wonkette overlords, for “bloated pigcicle.” I can’t even re-type it with laughing aloud in my cubicle.

Extemporanus December 3, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Is “pigsicle” American for “weinersickle”?

And if so, wouldn’t it be more accurate to call Dobbs a “cerduhoz”?

NJB December 3, 2009 at 4:12 pm

“Bloated pigsicle”….poetry. Sheer poetry.

Suds McKenzie December 3, 2009 at 4:16 pm

who “the hell” does he think he is;

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1209/30114.html

Cicada December 3, 2009 at 5:18 pm

[re=471172]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Hahahaha. He’s the POTUS, you sad silly fartsack! No matter how much you can’t wrap your orange head around the fact. Now show some respect, you hyperbolic piece of rat vomit.

God I hate Lou Dobbs.

coolforsale144 December 3, 2009 at 10:52 pm

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zhubajie December 3, 2009 at 11:41 pm

Retire to Chiapas, Lou!

LowerdPeninsula December 4, 2009 at 2:01 am

Don’t you just love it when they eat their own. This is called karma, Dumb-fuck Dobs.

Zulu December 4, 2009 at 10:51 am

Man, aint dis a bitch! We’re running out of vapid, ignant, bloated white pigsicles to fuck with. Life aint fair!

Advocate54 December 8, 2009 at 10:28 am

Willy Gheen is a nobody, as evidenced repeatedly on the cutting edge website Immigration Clearinghouse.

Gheen’s ALIPAC is nothing more that a machine to generate income for the pompous bastard and give a platform to his hysterics and fearmongering.

Like a jackass braying at the moon!

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us December 9, 2009 at 10:14 am

pigsicle? WIN! I shall add this term to my insult repartee.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us December 9, 2009 at 10:16 am

“Bloated pigsicle Lou Dobbs…” I didn’t even read the rest of the article because it just cannot get any better than that.

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