DON'T WATCH IT IN HD  5:03 pm December 2, 2009

Arizona Senator Makes 878,967,542-9th Teevee Appearances Of Year, Today

by Jim Newell

Judging from how hard television producers have already worked to book John McCain on their shows this year, to discuss topics he doesn’t give a flying fuck about, like health care or domestic policy in general or really anything non-deathbomby, he will now probably be on most television shows at all times for the next week or so to discuss his figurehead (Very Serious) role in determining Afghanistan strategy. He even has three programs left today — yeah, that’s right England, you have to put up with this shit too; he’s coming to bomb your “telly” at 19:00 Royal Queen’s Time. And don’t be surprised if he shows up on tomorrow’s episode of Friends, or whatever the top programs are these days. [John McCain via No More Mister Nice Guy/Balloon Juice]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 50 comments }

shadowMark December 2, 2009 at 5:10 pm

Yeah everything’s funny Wonkette but watch when John McCain becomes the rogue Pope people mysteriously will stop buying big black and pink ads and this place will stop looking like Shanghai at night REAL FUCKING FAST when John McCain becomes the rogue Pope.

V572625694 December 2, 2009 at 5:11 pm

WALNUTS! has to elbow Chuck Hegel out of the way at every interview, but it’s easier now that Biden’s the veep.

Bearbloke December 2, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Just keep ‘im in your hemisphere, Yanks… we’ve got enough codgers to laff at down here…

chascates December 2, 2009 at 5:13 pm

A failed Presidential candidate who isn’t even the head of his own party. A man whose military experience consists of crashing planes and getting out of scrapes due to his father’s influence. A man who bucks his own party only when it doesn’t really matter and whose main purpose in life seems to be as fifth wheel in politics.

On the other hand, Both Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman are close friends.

grevillea December 2, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Wow, he can be on three shows at once. Or are they all just running a live feed of his morning sponge bath?

shadowMark December 2, 2009 at 5:18 pm

[re=470432]chascates[/re]: Fifth wheel? Hey, Palin is saying the president took HER advice:

Three months ago, I joined a number of Americans in urging President Obama to provide the resources necessary to achieve our goals in Afghanistan. Tonight, I am glad he mostly heeded that advice.

At long last, President Obama decided to give his military commanders much of what they need to accomplish their mission in Afghanistan…

Finally, A Decision for Afghanistan: We’re In It to Win It

MarSF December 2, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Like I said before, this old fart of man lost his final shred of credibility when he picked that White Trash Grifter from Wasilla to be his VP.

Nice to see the networks still love his maverick douchebaggery!

Extemporanus December 2, 2009 at 5:20 pm

What I said earlier x 878,967,542-9th.

mollymcguire December 2, 2009 at 5:22 pm

What does this have to do with boobs?

Hooray For Anything December 2, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Remember when Obama was on like 5 talk shows in one day and remember how the chattering class spent a few days before and a few days after debating on whether or not Obama was overexposing himself with most of the people saying it was a political liability? Whatever happened to that viewpoint?

Aflac Shrugged December 2, 2009 at 5:27 pm

John McCain: the special guest no one could see coming, tonight on Glee!

Suds McKenzie December 2, 2009 at 5:28 pm

He’s good to go for the Muppet’s, no make up needed.

Buzz Feedback December 2, 2009 at 5:29 pm

What happens between 8am and 7pm? Devil’s Triangle w/Lindsay and Holy Joe?

SayItWithWookies December 2, 2009 at 5:31 pm

He’s going to go on all these shows and talk about how Obama is overexposed.

Gorillionaire December 2, 2009 at 5:32 pm

I don’t care what anybody says, he sucked on SNL.

Georgia Burning December 2, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=470432]chascates[/re]: You forget making propaganda broadcasts for North Vietnam.

If he loses in 2010, he’ll be shilling on TV for reverse mortgages or some other vague financial product that preys on the olds. Air pirates are like that.

iwillsavethispatient December 2, 2009 at 5:34 pm

At least the BBC has improved since I was last home, when Fmr UN Ambassador John Bolton was their go-to guy on all things America-related.

As this was around the time of the Lockerbie bomber debacle, he was having a whale of a time saying he should have been put to death instead of released and the like.

Extemporanus December 2, 2009 at 5:35 pm

By the way, has anyone here ever visited the backside of Mount Rushmore?

If not, I highly recommend doing so the next time you find yourself in the Territory with time to kill. That photo up top—epic though it may be—just doesn’t do it justice.

nappyduggs December 2, 2009 at 5:38 pm

I have Ameritrade up in another window and all my money is going into oatmeal and Absorbine Jr. futures right now. The advertising windfall is going to be tremendous. I may also invest in the Jazzy Powerchair people.

the problem child December 2, 2009 at 5:41 pm

[re=470457]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Fuckin’ CBC still has him on speedial, though. He was shooting his mouth off just this morning.

Hedley Lamar December 2, 2009 at 5:48 pm

God, I hope this human dung beetle gets ass cancer.

glamourdammerung December 2, 2009 at 5:50 pm

[re=470445]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Like most viewpoints of the “liberal media”, it seems to be different if a Republican is involved.

Though as much as he has been on shows, you would think he had not been defeated by a huge margin.

Bearbloke December 2, 2009 at 5:54 pm

[re=470458]Extemporanus[/re]: The back side of Rushmore? I thought that was where one puts in the coins to make the mouths move…

Bearbloke December 2, 2009 at 5:56 pm

[re=470464]Hedley Lamar[/re]:
“God, I hope this human dung beetle gets ass-to-mouth cancer from Lieberman.”

/fixed

Jim89048 December 2, 2009 at 6:00 pm

[re=470464]Hedley Lamar[/re]: I think he did, on his face.

Flanders December 2, 2009 at 6:01 pm

This is totally weird becusae the Pass Health Care Reform ad appears to be changing color balance as the day wears on.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 2, 2009 at 6:03 pm

That’s it, I’m taking the Hopey stickers off my car until he can find a way to legally have this crippled ass, dust farting Bram Stoker’s Mummy cast reject barred from the morning chat circuit. Srsly. He didn’t just lose, he got upstaged by his single digit starburst producin running mate who can’t even hire a ghost writer that doesn’t get inflicted with chronic liar syndrome. I don’t want to see this guy on my tv unless he’s hawking shamwow and trucknutz at 2 in the morning.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 2, 2009 at 6:03 pm

*…single digit IQ starburst…*

/ragefixed

Cicada December 2, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Dear god. That’s the picture he uses on his campaign website?!? Is he trying to corner the Morlock vote?

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 2, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=470483]Cicada[/re]: I would have said that’s him getting his first look at the Miley Cyrus bareback picks. Either way, that is the creepiest Non-Orly-Taits smile I’ve ever seen.

shadowMark December 2, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=470474]Flanders[/re]: This morning they drove me crazy but I’ve grown to love them. I’m going to miss them when they’re gone. The bright colors make me think of beautiful Japanese women in oddball clothes and weird hair giggling like school girls. Most things do, but these ads especially.

bitchincamaro December 2, 2009 at 6:18 pm

His schedule says more about the MSM than about him.

“Uh, let’s get the oppostition party’s opinion on this, but this time from some asswipe who knows what he’s talking about because of his fucked up arms and stuff, instead of that pretty human beehive in the tight skirt, because, well, because. Let’s do this!”

Servo December 2, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Go ride your Rascal into the sunset, McCorpse.

Suds McKenzie December 2, 2009 at 6:29 pm

[re=470483]Cicada[/re]: And that’s his “good” side.

Downtheroadapiece December 2, 2009 at 6:34 pm

I look forward to seeing Walnuts! attempt to drive the ‘Star in a Reasonably Priced Car’ segment on Top Gear next week. In his case though, they’ll have to temporarily call it ‘Irrelevant American Old Fart in a Reasonably Priced Car’. He’ll of course have the left blinker on the whole time.

Jim89048 December 2, 2009 at 6:34 pm

In other news, Happy Birthday to my Senator Harry Reid today.

Uncle Joe December 2, 2009 at 6:37 pm

He’s the biggest celebrity in the world.

Extemporanus December 2, 2009 at 6:38 pm

[re=470470]Bearbloke[/re]: No, the backside is where the likenesses of monumental dickheads such as McCain are carved in tribute to the bedrock principles upon which this great country of ours was founded: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Ass-to-Ass.

Mr Blifil December 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm

He is love.

NJB December 2, 2009 at 7:38 pm

I voted against this senile old welfare recipient geezer so I wouldn’t have to look at his leering, creepy face every day. Good thing I never watch Meet the Press. I hated Timmeh, but David Gregory gives hero worshipping dick sucking a bad name. I mean if they want a really talented professional bottom, they should get Mike Allen.

Long Form Def Certificate December 2, 2009 at 7:47 pm

He’ll be reading Warhol in front of his sagging, geriatric man-tits.

lamoll December 2, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Can’t Cindy give him a few extra beer dollars so he can whiten his creepy, yellow, old-man teeth?

Socialist hip replacement December 2, 2009 at 8:02 pm

ummm … Sarah Palin?

coolcatdaddy December 2, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Damn Walnuts … get off my television!

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO December 2, 2009 at 8:41 pm

Goddammit guys, that picture is seriously screwing with my head. He looks like my neighbor from across the street that fixes his roof at TWELVE THIRTY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUGGIN NIGHT! That’s what trucknutz is; he’s the creepy neighbor that does midnight lawn work in galoshes and holy sweat pants and his house is filled with neatly stacked cardboard boxes that are unlabled so you have to guess what’s inside of him.

Grand, now I’m going to have nightmares about Trucknutz and my creepy neighbor from across the street. (who voted for McCain and was three people in front of me in line for two hours on election day)

AutomaticPilot December 2, 2009 at 10:07 pm

[re=470443]mollymcguire[/re]: Nothing – McCain’s a cunt man.

Ken Layne December 3, 2009 at 1:14 am

John McCain has never led any military campaign, unless you’re counting all the times he led the nose of a multi-million-dollar fighter plane into the hull of a ship or Vietnam or whatever. His one and only military credential is “shitty pilot.” And even that’s only because he father and grandfather were admirals.

vladster December 3, 2009 at 9:34 am

I was tortured in the jungle for 5 1/2 years so I have enough of my marbles left to make rational statements all the time, right?

vladster December 3, 2009 at 9:46 am

[re=470619]AutomaticPilot[/re]: Then I married Cruella who has tortured my jungle junk ever since.

mollymcguire December 3, 2009 at 9:59 pm

[re=470619]AutomaticPilot[/re]: I still like boobs.

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