monsters

Joe Lieberman Quite Pleased With Young Obama’s Progress

'Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side. '
America’s second-favorite Death’s Head, Joe Lieberman, is very happy today because Barack Obama has finally embraced war and horror as really the only thing this country can do anymore.

“I hope that [Obama's decision] will inspire and encourage a majority of members from both political parties to do the same and to thereby show that America’s political leadership is still capable of suspending partisanship at the water’s edge, when our security and our troops our on the line,” Lieberman said today.

He was speaking from a bottomless pit of pain and sorrow, where he lives on the soul-vapors of crushed children. [TPM]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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47 comments

  1. Dustin de Wynde

    Finally.

    For years I’ve been telling anyone that would listen that the one that Lieberman most closely resembled in the Star Wars Pantheon was Empire Palpatine, the slime that no one saw coming, despite his ridiculous disguise.

  2. Advocatus_Diaboli

    ”I hope that [Obama's decision] will inspire and encourage a majority of members from both political parties to do the same …

    Do the same what, exactly, you fucking fuck?

  3. Humpback

    So, wait, is Obama a Sith? I thought he was Spock.

    We really have to get our space opera metaphors straight.

  4. stanpan

    I do believe Sen Droopy Dog would improve his credibility if he were to go serve there himself, maybe take part in a few firefights just for shits and grins.

  5. coolcatdaddy

    [re=470209]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Become mired in a bottomless pit of needless death and destruction for another decade, perhaps?

  6. JMP

    [re=470208]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: Nah, Cheney has the Palpatine role locked up. Lieberman is Jabba the Hutt’s (Rush, obv.) butler-creature; the one with the jowls and the droopy head-tentacles.

  7. rambone

    Anyone else notice that Lieberman seems to be pro-anything that will likely result in dead moozies?

  8. petehammer

    I don’t know which is worse, Lieberman or the Star Wars prequels. One had that ass who can’t act, is completely wooden and unconvincing, and always sounds like a whiney little toad. The other had really fake-looking CGI and pinball Yoda.

  9. Gopherit

    Jesus Fuck. So was this the 30 pieces of silver to get health reform passed?

    Fuck you, spawn of alien shit.

  10. germansteel

    Think this will get that shriveled prune face to consider allowing his commander-in-chief to move his most important piece of legislation to a vote?

    If you thought “yes,” you don’t know that asshole very well.

  11. magic titty

    You know you’ve made the wrong move when Joe Lieberman is like, “Totally do this shit, bro.”

  12. chascates

    [re=470230]Gopherit[/re]: No, Joe’s still against that. War against the Arabs is always good for him, though.

  13. doxastic

    I should be more charitable. How is Vinegar Joe supposed to get an erection if we stop bombing Muslims?

  14. SayItWithWookies

    I hope all the neocons who are cheering this troop escalation don’t imagine for a minute that this’ll restore their credibility. The intervention in Afghanistan lost momentum due to political infighting between Rumsfeld and the CIA as well as the shameful Iraq boondoggle. And that President Obama wants to go in there and finally get rid of al-Qaida doesn’t vindicate their childish dilettantism, reckless disregard for human life and their vile desire to play chicken with actual nations and economies for their own aggrandizement.
    Nevertheless, they’re glomming onto this plan like it’s their own lost child. Too bad they didn’t have the brilliant idea of taking Afghanistan seriously eight years ago.

  15. Hooray For Anything

    [re=470208]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: I’m not sure about Palapatine as he always looked like he was enjoying things too much and had a thing for boys. Lieberman looks more like Palapatine’s older, more annoying brother– Senator Droopastein. Droopastein was the one who was with the Jedi’s but slowly went to the Dark Side because of his man-crush of Darth McCain.

  16. Judas Peckerwood

    [re=470225]rambone[/re]: “Anyone else notice that Lieberman seems to be pro-anything that will likely result in dead moozies?”

    And dead Americans of all creeds.

  17. P Drizzle

    Am I alone in thinking that Episode 3 was ALMOST watchable (after the traditional college movie diet of three 40′s and 4 bong hits, of course)?

  18. Zadig

    [re=470221]facehead[/re]: You take that back, some of Wonkette’s best friends are (sayitwith)wookies!

  19. pampl

    [re=470208]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: But everyone saw him coming. He’s more like Jar-Jar; you hope he’s not going to be as awful and stupid as last time but he always is.

  20. Extemporanus

    The Borscht is strong with this one.

    [re=470237]doxastic[/re]: The stench he exudes is Palpatine.

  21. Extemporanus

    [re=470224]JMP[/re]: Lando’s copilot Nien Nunb ain’t a bad match, either.

    [re=470221]facehead[/re]: Kashyyykistan is the graveyard of empires! We must pull out now!

  22. WadISay

    Meh, this is Lieberman trying to save his beloved committee chairmanship. I keep hoping against hope that Reid busts him down to hatcheck boy in the Senate cloakroom anyhow.

  23. norbizness

    [re=470223]proudgrampa[/re]: I see Obama this morning as Gob Bluth from Arrested Development after making one of his many life-changing realizations… “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

  24. lovethebomb

    Jabba the Hut’s “butler” was Salacious B. Crumb, with the world’s most memorable laugh. I tend to agree he is a Lieberman.

  25. imissopus

    [re=470243]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I think that’s one of the big fears of the left, hence all the “Obama is just like Bush!” screaming I’ve heard today.

  26. Vulpes82

    [re=470224]JMP[/re]: [re=470309]lovethebomb[/re]: Jabba’s butler is Bib Fortuna; Salacious Crumb was his Kowakian monkey-lizard pet/jester. (I’m a total and complete nerd, BTW. In case you were wondering.) “Monkey-lizard” is one of the kinder things one can call Lieberman, so I think we have a Star Wars character match!!!

  27. osama bin drinkin

    I miss the joke about how Lieberman has never had sex. I was hoping we’d get it going into an authentic internet rumor/meme so I started trying to convince my friends that it was an ‘open secret’ in DC that his kids aren’t his and that he’s never had intercourse.

    Such a despicable sack of shit.

  28. SayItWithWookies

    [re=470414]imissopus[/re]: And of course the neocons will all be saying that Obama has finally followed their plan — only it’s just not true. Their plan — such as it was — involved throwing troops in harm’s way and hoping they’ll figure out how to win it. It should be driven into their heads that the Rambo movies are not history and pithy aphorisms about staying the course and not cutting and running don’t add up to a strategy.
    Of course, when our president does take the time required to formulate a thorough and effective (I hope) plan, they sit on the sidelines bitching and moaning that he’s dithering.

  29. Mr Blifil

    The way that old dude is looking at that young dude. There’s just something about it that doesn’t feel right.

  30. Zadig

    [re=470414]imissopus[/re]: Yeah, those statements piss me the fuck off. I mean, for one thing, Barry is a seekrit muslin.

  31. LowerdPeninsula

    I’m sorry, but this is yet another damning piece of Obama’s decision. When you’re emboldening and advancing the ideology of the likes of J-Liebs, you’ve lost me. Lierberman will not be happy until we help Israel bomb Iran to hell with a nuclear bomb, at that. The president is continuing to empower the wrong people, most of the time. It’s time for the real liberals in Congress to grow some balls, or they’ll be the casualties of this mediocrity.

  32. LowerdPeninsula

    [re=470251]P Drizzle[/re]: You’re not the only one, but I’m a diehard fan of the story. The dialogue for the movies have never been good, neither the originally trilogy nor the sequels, but I’m a sucker for the actual story. BTW, one of my favorite movie lines of all times comes from the scene pictured at the head of the post:

    “Not from a Jedi…”

    One of the most bad-ass movie quotes and ledes of all times.

  33. vladster

    Oh good, Joe is content. Now he can focus on killing 42000 american civillians anually. Or maybe Liebtard will shut the fuck up now about healthcare since Hopey gave him more troops to kill.

  34. Al Keiderman

    Ah, yes, Joe Lieberman, my shadow. No pork in either of his orthodox barrels. He needs to have a chin enlargement if he wants to look as tough as Kirk Douglas with that dimple. But if missing a chin, he definitely has a pair of major Connecticut hills oysters on him.

    In the words of Donald Swann: “If the JuJu had meant us not to eat people he wouldn’t have made us of meat.” Joe Lieberman is a meathead’s meathead. Feed him to the republicans. They’re all cannibals. Kosher meat fed is the next best thing to grain fed long pig, and Lieberman is as long a pig as I’ve seen.

    http://www.imeem.com/joshgreenslade/music/Xz2mNr59/flanders-and-swann-the-reluctant-cannibal/

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