MONSTERS  2:32 pm December 2, 2009

Joe Lieberman Quite Pleased With Young Obama’s Progress

by Ken Layne

'Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side. '
America’s second-favorite Death’s Head, Joe Lieberman, is very happy today because Barack Obama has finally embraced war and horror as really the only thing this country can do anymore.

“I hope that [Obama's decision] will inspire and encourage a majority of members from both political parties to do the same and to thereby show that America’s political leadership is still capable of suspending partisanship at the water’s edge, when our security and our troops our on the line,” Lieberman said today.

He was speaking from a bottomless pit of pain and sorrow, where he lives on the soul-vapors of crushed children. [TPM]

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Dustin de Wynde December 2, 2009 at 2:36 pm


For years I’ve been telling anyone that would listen that the one that Lieberman most closely resembled in the Star Wars Pantheon was Empire Palpatine, the slime that no one saw coming, despite his ridiculous disguise.

Advocatus_Diaboli December 2, 2009 at 2:36 pm

”I hope that [Obama's decision] will inspire and encourage a majority of members from both political parties to do the same …

Do the same what, exactly, you fucking fuck?

Humpback December 2, 2009 at 2:37 pm

So, wait, is Obama a Sith? I thought he was Spock.

We really have to get our space opera metaphors straight.

stanpan December 2, 2009 at 2:38 pm

I do believe Sen Droopy Dog would improve his credibility if he were to go serve there himself, maybe take part in a few firefights just for shits and grins.

coolcatdaddy December 2, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=470209]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Become mired in a bottomless pit of needless death and destruction for another decade, perhaps?

Aflac Shrugged December 2, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Many Bothans vomited to bring us this hypocritical bullshit.

facehead December 2, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=470212]Humpback[/re]: Why is Wonkette racist against Wookies?

the problem child December 2, 2009 at 2:44 pm

[re=470209]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Decision to embrace “war and horror”?

proudgrampa December 2, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Now I am convinced: more troops in Afghanistan is a BIG MISTAKE.

Oh, crap. What’s the use?

JMP December 2, 2009 at 2:44 pm

[re=470208]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: Nah, Cheney has the Palpatine role locked up. Lieberman is Jabba the Hutt’s (Rush, obv.) butler-creature; the one with the jowls and the droopy head-tentacles.

rambone December 2, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Anyone else notice that Lieberman seems to be pro-anything that will likely result in dead moozies?

petehammer December 2, 2009 at 2:45 pm

I don’t know which is worse, Lieberman or the Star Wars prequels. One had that ass who can’t act, is completely wooden and unconvincing, and always sounds like a whiney little toad. The other had really fake-looking CGI and pinball Yoda.

Gopherit December 2, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Jesus Fuck. So was this the 30 pieces of silver to get health reform passed?

Fuck you, spawn of alien shit.

germansteel December 2, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Think this will get that shriveled prune face to consider allowing his commander-in-chief to move his most important piece of legislation to a vote?

If you thought “yes,” you don’t know that asshole very well.

magic titty December 2, 2009 at 2:56 pm

You know you’ve made the wrong move when Joe Lieberman is like, “Totally do this shit, bro.”

doxastic December 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Joe Lieberman: World’s most courageous pile of human garbage

chascates December 2, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=470230]Gopherit[/re]: No, Joe’s still against that. War against the Arabs is always good for him, though.

doxastic December 2, 2009 at 2:59 pm

I should be more charitable. How is Vinegar Joe supposed to get an erection if we stop bombing Muslims?

SayItWithWookies December 2, 2009 at 3:00 pm

I hope all the neocons who are cheering this troop escalation don’t imagine for a minute that this’ll restore their credibility. The intervention in Afghanistan lost momentum due to political infighting between Rumsfeld and the CIA as well as the shameful Iraq boondoggle. And that President Obama wants to go in there and finally get rid of al-Qaida doesn’t vindicate their childish dilettantism, reckless disregard for human life and their vile desire to play chicken with actual nations and economies for their own aggrandizement.
Nevertheless, they’re glomming onto this plan like it’s their own lost child. Too bad they didn’t have the brilliant idea of taking Afghanistan seriously eight years ago.

Hooray For Anything December 2, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=470208]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: I’m not sure about Palapatine as he always looked like he was enjoying things too much and had a thing for boys. Lieberman looks more like Palapatine’s older, more annoying brother– Senator Droopastein. Droopastein was the one who was with the Jedi’s but slowly went to the Dark Side because of his man-crush of Darth McCain.

Judas Peckerwood December 2, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=470225]rambone[/re]: “Anyone else notice that Lieberman seems to be pro-anything that will likely result in dead moozies?”

And dead Americans of all creeds.

Jim89048 December 2, 2009 at 3:02 pm

I’ve always compared LIEberman to Zoidberg, favorably.

P Drizzle December 2, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Am I alone in thinking that Episode 3 was ALMOST watchable (after the traditional college movie diet of three 40′s and 4 bong hits, of course)?

Zadig December 2, 2009 at 3:05 pm

[re=470221]facehead[/re]: You take that back, some of Wonkette’s best friends are (sayitwith)wookies!

pampl December 2, 2009 at 3:06 pm

[re=470208]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: But everyone saw him coming. He’s more like Jar-Jar; you hope he’s not going to be as awful and stupid as last time but he always is.

Extemporanus December 2, 2009 at 3:07 pm

The Borscht is strong with this one.

[re=470237]doxastic[/re]: The stench he exudes is Palpatine.

TGY December 2, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Sith happens.

Extemporanus December 2, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=470224]JMP[/re]: Lando’s copilot Nien Nunb ain’t a bad match, either.

[re=470221]facehead[/re]: Kashyyykistan is the graveyard of empires! We must pull out now!

WadISay December 2, 2009 at 3:26 pm

Meh, this is Lieberman trying to save his beloved committee chairmanship. I keep hoping against hope that Reid busts him down to hatcheck boy in the Senate cloakroom anyhow.

Snarkalicious December 2, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=470209]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Eight year olds.

norbizness December 2, 2009 at 3:34 pm

[re=470223]proudgrampa[/re]: I see Obama this morning as Gob Bluth from Arrested Development after making one of his many life-changing realizations… “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

Elephants Gerald December 2, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=470251]P Drizzle[/re]: Yup. Alone.

Nigel December 2, 2009 at 3:40 pm

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

lovethebomb December 2, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Jabba the Hut’s “butler” was Salacious B. Crumb, with the world’s most memorable laugh. I tend to agree he is a Lieberman.

thefrontpage December 2, 2009 at 4:44 pm

Why are we sending 34,000 soldiers to Granada again?

imissopus December 2, 2009 at 4:53 pm

[re=470243]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I think that’s one of the big fears of the left, hence all the “Obama is just like Bush!” screaming I’ve heard today.

Vulpes82 December 2, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=470224]JMP[/re]: [re=470309]lovethebomb[/re]: Jabba’s butler is Bib Fortuna; Salacious Crumb was his Kowakian monkey-lizard pet/jester. (I’m a total and complete nerd, BTW. In case you were wondering.) “Monkey-lizard” is one of the kinder things one can call Lieberman, so I think we have a Star Wars character match!!!

osama bin drinkin December 2, 2009 at 5:22 pm

I miss the joke about how Lieberman has never had sex. I was hoping we’d get it going into an authentic internet rumor/meme so I started trying to convince my friends that it was an ‘open secret’ in DC that his kids aren’t his and that he’s never had intercourse.

Such a despicable sack of shit.

SayItWithWookies December 2, 2009 at 5:27 pm

[re=470414]imissopus[/re]: And of course the neocons will all be saying that Obama has finally followed their plan — only it’s just not true. Their plan — such as it was — involved throwing troops in harm’s way and hoping they’ll figure out how to win it. It should be driven into their heads that the Rambo movies are not history and pithy aphorisms about staying the course and not cutting and running don’t add up to a strategy.
Of course, when our president does take the time required to formulate a thorough and effective (I hope) plan, they sit on the sidelines bitching and moaning that he’s dithering.

glamourdammerung December 2, 2009 at 5:53 pm

[re=470405]thefrontpage[/re]: Nutmeg.

Mr Blifil December 2, 2009 at 7:01 pm

The way that old dude is looking at that young dude. There’s just something about it that doesn’t feel right.

Zadig December 2, 2009 at 8:51 pm

[re=470414]imissopus[/re]: Yeah, those statements piss me the fuck off. I mean, for one thing, Barry is a seekrit muslin.

sezme December 2, 2009 at 9:25 pm

Since we’re at the water’s edge, couldn’t we just push Joe Lieberman in?

LowerdPeninsula December 3, 2009 at 1:05 am

I’m sorry, but this is yet another damning piece of Obama’s decision. When you’re emboldening and advancing the ideology of the likes of J-Liebs, you’ve lost me. Lierberman will not be happy until we help Israel bomb Iran to hell with a nuclear bomb, at that. The president is continuing to empower the wrong people, most of the time. It’s time for the real liberals in Congress to grow some balls, or they’ll be the casualties of this mediocrity.

LowerdPeninsula December 3, 2009 at 1:10 am

[re=470251]P Drizzle[/re]: You’re not the only one, but I’m a diehard fan of the story. The dialogue for the movies have never been good, neither the originally trilogy nor the sequels, but I’m a sucker for the actual story. BTW, one of my favorite movie lines of all times comes from the scene pictured at the head of the post:

“Not from a Jedi…”

One of the most bad-ass movie quotes and ledes of all times.

vladster December 3, 2009 at 9:57 am

Oh good, Joe is content. Now he can focus on killing 42000 american civillians anually. Or maybe Liebtard will shut the fuck up now about healthcare since Hopey gave him more troops to kill.

Al Keiderman December 4, 2009 at 3:01 pm

Ah, yes, Joe Lieberman, my shadow. No pork in either of his orthodox barrels. He needs to have a chin enlargement if he wants to look as tough as Kirk Douglas with that dimple. But if missing a chin, he definitely has a pair of major Connecticut hills oysters on him.

In the words of Donald Swann: “If the JuJu had meant us not to eat people he wouldn’t have made us of meat.” Joe Lieberman is a meathead’s meathead. Feed him to the republicans. They’re all cannibals. Kosher meat fed is the next best thing to grain fed long pig, and Lieberman is as long a pig as I’ve seen.

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