This country may no longer be “Number One” in anything important — manufacturing, education, innovation, hot chicks, architecture, infrastructure, wealth, health, spaceships, etc. — but the U.S.A. still leads the world in whining like a special needs titty baby about EVERYTHING, all the time.
We think this started in the early ’90s (what was “grunge,” if not a bunch of dull slobs whining about everything?), but there’s little doubt it has finally reached imprisonment levels. And that’s why Barack Obama today began personally putting everybody in FEMA death camps, where the only entertainment will be Michele Bachman’s nightly six-hour variety show.
Oh wait, this is just a picture of Obama visiting The Troops in Alaska? Same difference. And right after this picture was taken, he went to a super sexy rave with Stephen Harper. [White House Flickr]
{ 48 comments }
Just a question: Will whining about the Planned Parenthood ad result in being detained in a FEMA camp?
Fencing us in? Or them out?
Wait, what’s FEMA again? Funny Entertainment and Magic for Americans?
If Obama outlaws crybabying a lot of people will be out of work. Where is the money in putting on your big girl panties and getting on with it? In Sweden probably.
[re=470063]Humpback[/re]: FEMA is an acronym for Sarah Palin’s next four children (by Levi, natch): Furry, Elm, Moose, and Anus.
Maybe it’s the cold I have, maybe it’s the weed hangover I have. Maybe I need another cup o’ coffee or 3. But, I have no idea what the purpose of this topic is.
I can’t even say “first”.
Jeebus, is Barry facing down a whole roomful of Terminators or something?
Being y’know, US, I’m suprised a hillbilly kerfuffle didn’t break out over taking a picture of our mixed race, black muslin presnit.
We have troops in Alaska? I will pray for them.
At first I thought he was just putting a bunch of the media into a FEMA death camp and I was happy. But apparently it’s just soldiers (?) and that ridiculously adorable little girl on the right. I do not support death panels for the actively adorable.
I’m doubly glad because you’ve finally found a use for the “Michele Bachmann Was Right” category. I know you’ve been saving that up.
A view from the ears.
All those death camp inmates look pretty happy — but I’ll bet after Obama leaves, they have to stand on their heads again.
[re=470079]TGY[/re]: Cutie.
Breaking News: Rep. David Obey just introduced a bill for a “Gulag” tax, saying that “crushing out opponents is a burden every American must carry.”
[re=470077]facehead[/re]: The picture does have a “30 Days of Night” quality that is very Alaska.
But I don’t think your prayers will help.
What kind of food do they serve in FEMA death camps? I mean, they’re not serving Hobo Beans, right?
Sometimes I think it looks like Obama wants to tell the country that everyone in the country has been badly misbehaving, call a “time out” and have us (well, not me or anyone other Wonketeer) go stand in a corner until we’ve stopped throwing a tantrum.
Can he see Russia from there?
[re=470078]assistant/atlas[/re]: Just be careful. You start by joking that Michele Bachmann is right about something and one thing leads to another and before you know it your head is between Sarah Palin’s legs and Todd is yelling from the doorway, “What the fuck is going on here?!”
I think it goes without saying, we have troops in Alaska because:
“Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundry that we have with Canada. It’s funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don’t know, you know … reporters.
Couric: Mocked?
Palin: Yeah, mocked, I guess that’s the word, yeah.
Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.
Palin: Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…
Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?
Palin: We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It’s very important when you consider even national-security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right next to, they are right next to our state.”
Also.
The Alaska crowd looks much less sleepy than the West Point crowd. Is it the meth?
[re=470063]Humpback[/re]: FEMA is named for what it does in places like New Orleans: Forgetting Every Minority in America.
Trust me, no rave at which Stephen Harper is in attendance is sexy anymore. Not even kittens can make him cute. But he keeps trying with those “foster” kitten photo ops. http://www.dailyseagull.com/stephen-harper-attributes-steady-diet-of-kittens-to-lean-physique/
CHAINS you can believe in, amirite, folks?!
*sweats, loosens collar*
tough crowd, tough crowd…
[re=470068]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Anus Palin? Isn’t that like saying the same thing twice?
Just in case you think Fema work camps might be a reprieve, I hear they torture people by playing Fox News reports about Tiger Woods and the White House party crashers.
the only entertainment will be Michele Bachman’s nightly six-hour variety show.
Ugh. That read worse than Wonkette description of Cheney mouth-sodomizing Politico. I want my eyeballs back!
Ha!
http://crooksandliars.com/logan-murphy/ex-con-who-claimed-he-took-drugs-and
What was “grunge,” if not
a bunch of dull slobsNirvana whining about everything?[re=470094]progressiveinga[/re]: We have troops in Alaska for he same reason we have troops in Japan, Korea, Germany and South Carolina: pork delivery. Sometimes you wonder if the British or Roman empires were as unproductive of wealth (except for the chosen few) as ours is.
As I wrote in my “Ballad of FEMA” song, it stands for “Forget Emergency Management Altogether.”
We’ll need at least 20,000 more troops in Alaska before it stabilizes, and some bear spray. Did Hopey notice that Palin was governor, and now there are no black bears in Alaska? Coincidence?
The U. S. of A. is still #1 in Wonking.
[re=470118]Sharkey[/re]: Amurica! Fuck yeah!
Wait, wut? I thought Teh Troopz hated Hopey because, y’know, he is a black socialist draft-dodging, weed-smoking Muslin.
[re=470118]Sharkey[/re]: That’s, uh, wanking.
[re=470089]Hooray For Anything[/re]: and if that doesn’t work, NO SLEEPOVERS THIS WEEKEND. That ought to get their attention.
[re=470117]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]:
“We’ll need at least 20,000 more troops in Alaska before it stabilizes …”
Sorry. Not going along with that. Alaska will become another Viet Nam and there will be no getting out.
We’re No. 1 in Mentally Unstable Reality Show Psychos, and Mentally Unstable and Clueless Entertainment Performers and Professional Athletes!
Where is the table pounding?
[re=470094]progressiveinga[/re]: I never get tired of that.
[re=470142]PsycGirl[/re]: And if we still act up, he’ll send ACORN around to take away our Playstations. That’ll teach us
[re=470146]S.Luggo[/re]: But wouldn’t that send a horrible message to our enemies? Defeatist!
Hope he remembered to wash his hands after touching Stephen Harper.
Alaska. Making Russia look good for 60 years and counting.
We could simplify things by turning all walmarts into death camps starting next black friday.
Man, I hadn’t realized what a tubby our PM had turned into. Seeing him wearing his Marlon Brando-style muumuu, standing next to your trim and athletic-looking prez, really makes it abundantly clear.
Time to take a leave of absence for a few months at diet-camp, Stevie…
[re=470069]NopantsMcGee[/re]: Ken is just cranky becuase CHRISTmas is just around the corner.
[re=470072]SmutBoffin[/re]: Hasta la vista, special needs titty baby!
This country is now Number Two at everything important…if by “Number Two” you are referring to crap.
[re=470114]facehead[/re]: Florida is the Cowcatcher of America, in terms of pedophiles. Florida is nothing but pedophiles, olds, and Cubans. Sometimes, all three at once, even. Oh, and Georgia-level rednecks, also.
Comments on this entry are closed.