joke's here somewhere

Barack Obama And Tiger Woods Are Connected In Some Scandal Maybe?

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Oh no, this much-anticipated cover of January’s Golf Digest could something something Obama’s “political capital” with his wars and stuff! What is he doing here, taking “tips” from the known… [checks latest TMZ press release in inbox]… murderous adulterous evil goblin Tiger Woods?

The Atlantic is really worried about this cover, categorizing it under the “Dept. of Bad Timing:”

What timing: President Obama and Tiger Woods will appear together on the cover of the January issue of Golf Digest.

It could be the most politically charged Golf Digest cover ever. Woods is dealing with a swirl of rumors and media scrutiny after crashing into a fire hydrant outside his house at 2:30 a.m. and his wife bashing his SUV’s window with a golf club. Obama is sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan and trying to pass a health care bill.

On the inside spread, the cover story is titled: “What President Obama could learn from Tiger Woods–and vice versa.” Seriously.

Ha ha ha, oh man, the shit’s gonna hit the fan now… Wait, what? What does this person mean? We demand to know why we should be shocked!

Dept. Of Bad Timing: Obama And Tiger On The Cover Of Golf Digest [Atlantic Politics]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Cicada

    Looking at that cover, I’m somehow convinced that Obama will crash Afghanistan into a fire hydrant and cheat on health care reform with a model. Bad timing!

  • Terry

    Bad timing, yes, but it also looks like the first scene in a golf themed gay p0rn film

  • AxmxZ


    Carry on.

  • Joshua Norton

    They make an adorable couple.

  • AggieDemocrat

    Damn you, long-lead publication thingy!

    Also: So Barry’s a bottom?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Is it subtle racism on the part of Golf Digest (or me?) that that picture evokes thoughts of two Masai tribesmen stalking a water buffalo or somesuch with spears. etc.?

  • petehammer

    I still don’t really get what Tiger did. He crashed his car and there are no reports of alcohol. I’ve heard “rumors” of infidelity, but ????

    So he crashed a car and that’s what everyone is so excited about? What am I missing?

  • AggieDemocrat

    [re=468985]petehammer[/re]: Wifey beat him up.

  • Sharkey

    Looks to me like Obama has already “taken a tip from Woods”. In the rear. There’s nine more tips where that came from.

  • Crank Tango

    this is great news for mccain, no?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I think Golf Digest should be ashamed of darkening the skin of Greg Norman and Fuzzy Zoeller on that cover.

  • JMP

    So in the world of Washington being friendly with a famous guy who may be a victim of domestic violence is apparently a political liability. Makes perfect sense.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=468985]petehammer[/re]: Well, everyone is over the whole party crashing idiots, so it’s on to the next non-interesting bit of non-news!

  • chaste everywhere

    Naked Bunny with a Whip:

    They made their lips bigger, too. And made them look like they’re going fishing. Or practicing “Hike!” Or . . . something else.

  • Sussemilch

    Tiger has been dead for days, and that’s his ghost giving Obama advice on golf, economics and Afghanistan simultaneously. “Read the lie, play the green, don’t take your eye off the ball.”

  • Sweet Baby Cheeses

    Of course, this means DO NOT GIVE MICHELLE OBAMA A GOLF CLUB.

  • Extemporanus

    Here’s an older White House-issued photo of the twin Michigan J. Frog impersonators that will no doubt be making the rounds again.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=468975]Terry[/re]: The Legend of Teabagger Vance?

    [re=468978]AxmxZ[/re]: Ballwashing!

    [re=468985]petehammer[/re]: He had sex with a white woman, and then crashed a luxury SUV into a gated community’s tree.

    Lesson: Tiger should’ve called a cablasian.

  • seriesoftubescleaner

    What!? Those are two different guys? All this time I thought it was a Clark Kent/Superman situation.

  • Terry


    And wifey could be convicted of spousal abuse and deported.

  • Suds McKenzie

    John Daily is the JFK of this shit; long URL, but there’s a Hooters involved,118313

  • SmutBoffin

    What’s the difference between a SUV and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards.

  • Cape Clod

    “How to outsmart your buddies.”
    Step one: Only make buddies with morons.
    Step two: Outsmart them.

    I could write for Golf Digest.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=468982]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Looks like Barry’s playing passionate Jack Twist to Tiger’s brooding Ennis Del Mar.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=468975]Terry[/re]: Exactly. Bad Timing (1980), starring Art Garfunkel (NSFW)

  • Carrabuda

    [re=469031]Extemporanus[/re]: It’s a remake of Duck Soup.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Or . . . something else.

    Playing leapfrog, you mean? *wide-eyed innocence*

  • american mutt

    Oh I get it. They’re both secret muslims.

  • WadISay

    Redstate crack about Obama improving his “lie” coming in 3…2…1.

  • betterDeadThanRed

    Someone in The Hamptons is shaking his head thinking, “How could this happen? We never let them into the country clubs.”

  • TGY

    The Silly Season has been shifted to Nov/Dec, obvs.

  • mumblyjoe

    Of course, scandal: two half-black dudes who golf==one fully black dude on a golf course. Which, of course, ==scandal.

  • gurukalehuru

    You know, when I was in Thailand, I saw lots of advertisements with Tiger Woods in them. But he looked a bit more Asian.

  • Humpback

    It’s bad timing because it is winter. And they are golfing. In short sleeves.

  • bitchincamaro

    11. Mulligans are for pussies.
    12. Stay the course. (formerly a nautical aphorism, now a golfing reference)

  • Prommie

    Hey, I hear Top Flight is coming out with a new set of womens clubs, along with the driver and the fairway woods, there is a full set of driveway woods. They are very effective when someone’s balls have been in the rough. For use in case of the worst lies. They are perimiter weighted and forged from titanium, so they can smach through the toughest auto glass. They’re called the “Tigress” line.

    Badump bump.

  • mardam422

    [re=469059]SmutBoffin[/re]: Too soon?

  • Vulpes82

    Yes, because a somewhat mysterious car crash and the sending of thousands more American soldiers into war are two totally equivalent things, Atlantic!

  • Min

    A tragedy in the making. The Tea Party Movement will become the Tee Party movement, and all our clever teabagber jokes will be ruined. Ruined, I tell ya!

  • Jim89048

    His black half bought a Cadillac, then his asian half crashed it into a hydrant and a tree. Nothing to see here.

  • CanadianBacon

    Apparently one of the tips is to not be too surprised on how the wife reacts when you call for a mulligan.


    It’s good to see those guys at GD still have a sense of humor…

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    So, Tiger has been having an affair with Obama. And he is a top?

    I can’t believe it. Although it would explain why Tiger’s wife can beat him up.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    I’m not so sure the timing is offensive or scandalous as the subtle, mean-well racism (i.e. comparing two youngish minorities when they operate in similar realms, at similar calibers, or have similar social statuses). It’s like when you’re at a party, and you’ve got two black people at the party, and another walks in, and the host/hostess brings them over to you as if you are supposed to know each other or automatically click.

  • DustinXP

    “Power load it and let it go!”

    I always imagined Obama was a power bottom.

  • ms_mcgee

    Anyone else notice the suggestive headline: “Power Load it & Let it Go!” ??

  • dedalus

    Another tip from Tiger:

    “You can do 18 holes in an hour with the right putter.”

  • LibbyBourbon

    [re=469156]Prommie[/re]: Don’t stop Prommie, I think I love you.

  • CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us

    Hey Barry! SURPRISE BUTTSECKS!!! I think Woods will hump anything with a hole… must explain why he likes golf so much.