JOKE'S HERE SOMEWHERE  1:44 pm December 1, 2009

Barack Obama And Tiger Woods Are Connected In Some Scandal Maybe?

by Jim Newell

Oh no, this much-anticipated cover of January’s Golf Digest could something something Obama’s “political capital” with his wars and stuff! What is he doing here, taking “tips” from the known… [checks latest TMZ press release in inbox]… murderous adulterous evil goblin Tiger Woods?

The Atlantic is really worried about this cover, categorizing it under the “Dept. of Bad Timing:”

What timing: President Obama and Tiger Woods will appear together on the cover of the January issue of Golf Digest.

It could be the most politically charged Golf Digest cover ever. Woods is dealing with a swirl of rumors and media scrutiny after crashing into a fire hydrant outside his house at 2:30 a.m. and his wife bashing his SUV’s window with a golf club. Obama is sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan and trying to pass a health care bill.

On the inside spread, the cover story is titled: “What President Obama could learn from Tiger Woods–and vice versa.” Seriously.

Ha ha ha, oh man, the shit’s gonna hit the fan now… Wait, what? What does this person mean? We demand to know why we should be shocked!

Dept. Of Bad Timing: Obama And Tiger On The Cover Of Golf Digest [Atlantic Politics]

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Cicada December 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Looking at that cover, I’m somehow convinced that Obama will crash Afghanistan into a fire hydrant and cheat on health care reform with a model. Bad timing!

Terry December 1, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Bad timing, yes, but it also looks like the first scene in a golf themed gay p0rn film

AxmxZ December 1, 2009 at 1:50 pm


Carry on.

Joshua Norton December 1, 2009 at 1:50 pm

They make an adorable couple.

AggieDemocrat December 1, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Damn you, long-lead publication thingy!

Also: So Barry’s a bottom?

Lascauxcaveman December 1, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Is it subtle racism on the part of Golf Digest (or me?) that that picture evokes thoughts of two Masai tribesmen stalking a water buffalo or somesuch with spears. etc.?

petehammer December 1, 2009 at 1:52 pm

I still don’t really get what Tiger did. He crashed his car and there are no reports of alcohol. I’ve heard “rumors” of infidelity, but ????

So he crashed a car and that’s what everyone is so excited about? What am I missing?

AggieDemocrat December 1, 2009 at 1:53 pm

[re=468985]petehammer[/re]: Wifey beat him up.

Sharkey December 1, 2009 at 1:53 pm

Looks to me like Obama has already “taken a tip from Woods”. In the rear. There’s nine more tips where that came from.

Crank Tango December 1, 2009 at 1:54 pm

this is great news for mccain, no?

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 1, 2009 at 1:56 pm

I think Golf Digest should be ashamed of darkening the skin of Greg Norman and Fuzzy Zoeller on that cover.

JMP December 1, 2009 at 1:57 pm

So in the world of Washington being friendly with a famous guy who may be a victim of domestic violence is apparently a political liability. Makes perfect sense.

AnnieGetYourFun December 1, 2009 at 1:57 pm

[re=468985]petehammer[/re]: Well, everyone is over the whole party crashing idiots, so it’s on to the next non-interesting bit of non-news!

chaste everywhere December 1, 2009 at 2:03 pm

Naked Bunny with a Whip:

They made their lips bigger, too. And made them look like they’re going fishing. Or practicing “Hike!” Or . . . something else.

Sussemilch December 1, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Tiger has been dead for days, and that’s his ghost giving Obama advice on golf, economics and Afghanistan simultaneously. “Read the lie, play the green, don’t take your eye off the ball.”

Sweet Baby Cheeses December 1, 2009 at 2:10 pm


Extemporanus December 1, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Here’s an older White House-issued photo of the twin Michigan J. Frog impersonators that will no doubt be making the rounds again.

Extemporanus December 1, 2009 at 2:11 pm

[re=468975]Terry[/re]: The Legend of Teabagger Vance?

[re=468978]AxmxZ[/re]: Ballwashing!

[re=468985]petehammer[/re]: He had sex with a white woman, and then crashed a luxury SUV into a gated community’s tree.

Lesson: Tiger should’ve called a cablasian.

seriesoftubescleaner December 1, 2009 at 2:11 pm

What!? Those are two different guys? All this time I thought it was a Clark Kent/Superman situation.

Terry December 1, 2009 at 2:19 pm


And wifey could be convicted of spousal abuse and deported.

Suds McKenzie December 1, 2009 at 2:19 pm

John Daily is the JFK of this shit; long URL, but there’s a Hooters involved,118313

SmutBoffin December 1, 2009 at 2:19 pm

What’s the difference between a SUV and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards.

Cape Clod December 1, 2009 at 2:20 pm

“How to outsmart your buddies.”
Step one: Only make buddies with morons.
Step two: Outsmart them.

I could write for Golf Digest.

AbstinenceOnly Ed December 1, 2009 at 2:27 pm

[re=468982]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Looks like Barry’s playing passionate Jack Twist to Tiger’s brooding Ennis Del Mar.

Accordion-o-rama December 1, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=468975]Terry[/re]: Exactly. Bad Timing (1980), starring Art Garfunkel (NSFW)

Carrabuda December 1, 2009 at 2:29 pm

[re=469031]Extemporanus[/re]: It’s a remake of Duck Soup.

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 1, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Or . . . something else.

Playing leapfrog, you mean? *wide-eyed innocence*

american mutt December 1, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Oh I get it. They’re both secret muslims.

WadISay December 1, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Redstate crack about Obama improving his “lie” coming in 3…2…1.

betterDeadThanRed December 1, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Someone in The Hamptons is shaking his head thinking, “How could this happen? We never let them into the country clubs.”

TGY December 1, 2009 at 2:39 pm

The Silly Season has been shifted to Nov/Dec, obvs.

mumblyjoe December 1, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Of course, scandal: two half-black dudes who golf==one fully black dude on a golf course. Which, of course, ==scandal.

gurukalehuru December 1, 2009 at 2:46 pm

You know, when I was in Thailand, I saw lots of advertisements with Tiger Woods in them. But he looked a bit more Asian.

Humpback December 1, 2009 at 2:49 pm

It’s bad timing because it is winter. And they are golfing. In short sleeves.

bitchincamaro December 1, 2009 at 2:53 pm

11. Mulligans are for pussies.
12. Stay the course. (formerly a nautical aphorism, now a golfing reference)

Prommie December 1, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Hey, I hear Top Flight is coming out with a new set of womens clubs, along with the driver and the fairway woods, there is a full set of driveway woods. They are very effective when someone’s balls have been in the rough. For use in case of the worst lies. They are perimiter weighted and forged from titanium, so they can smach through the toughest auto glass. They’re called the “Tigress” line.

Badump bump.

mardam422 December 1, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=469059]SmutBoffin[/re]: Too soon?

Vulpes82 December 1, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Yes, because a somewhat mysterious car crash and the sending of thousands more American soldiers into war are two totally equivalent things, Atlantic!

Min December 1, 2009 at 4:17 pm

A tragedy in the making. The Tea Party Movement will become the Tee Party movement, and all our clever teabagber jokes will be ruined. Ruined, I tell ya!

Jim89048 December 1, 2009 at 4:53 pm

His black half bought a Cadillac, then his asian half crashed it into a hydrant and a tree. Nothing to see here.

CanadianBacon December 1, 2009 at 10:51 pm

Apparently one of the tips is to not be too surprised on how the wife reacts when you call for a mulligan.

MFAWG December 2, 2009 at 12:29 am

It’s good to see those guys at GD still have a sense of humor…

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 2, 2009 at 1:52 am

So, Tiger has been having an affair with Obama. And he is a top?

I can’t believe it. Although it would explain why Tiger’s wife can beat him up.

LowerdPeninsula December 2, 2009 at 3:05 am

I’m not so sure the timing is offensive or scandalous as the subtle, mean-well racism (i.e. comparing two youngish minorities when they operate in similar realms, at similar calibers, or have similar social statuses). It’s like when you’re at a party, and you’ve got two black people at the party, and another walks in, and the host/hostess brings them over to you as if you are supposed to know each other or automatically click.

DustinXP December 2, 2009 at 8:30 am

“Power load it and let it go!”

I always imagined Obama was a power bottom.

ms_mcgee December 2, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Anyone else notice the suggestive headline: “Power Load it & Let it Go!” ??

dedalus December 3, 2009 at 11:15 am

Another tip from Tiger:

“You can do 18 holes in an hour with the right putter.”

LibbyBourbon December 3, 2009 at 6:51 pm

[re=469156]Prommie[/re]: Don’t stop Prommie, I think I love you.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us December 9, 2009 at 10:03 am

Hey Barry! SURPRISE BUTTSECKS!!! I think Woods will hump anything with a hole… must explain why he likes golf so much.

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