• May 26, 2012
NATION OF MURDERERS

December 1, 2009

When Will Mike Huckabee (and Tiger Woods?) Praise the Death-Shooting of the Suspected Cop Killer?

by Ken Layne  

Hey Mike, do you know the bassline for 'Willie Horton and the Poor Boys'?Woo-hoo, the Seattle police just cold gunned down a black guy! But not just a regular standing-around black guy, an actual alleged cop killer who is likely the guy — eh, he can’t sue now, right? — okay, the actual cop-killing sonofabitch, totally dead, “shot and killed in South Seattle early this morning by a Seattle police officer making a routine check of a stolen car.” Yes! This is basically what every policeman is thinking during every traffic stop, so it’s a good thing this one worked out. Also, Mike Huckabee, when are you going to denounce yourself?

The Palin-Drones are super happy to be rid of “Nice Mike,” what with his real-America credentials such as being a fat-ass, and actually knowing how to hunt wild animals, and being an actual Evangelical Jesus Reverend instead of some phony dingbat who has her ghostwriter mention God in every sentence, but otherwise avoids church because it’s “too much work.”

RedState happily notes that soft-on-negro-criminals Mike Huckabee pardoned a DOZEN convicted murderers, many of whom may be murdering white people right now:

With the Washington State police killings, people will probably pay attention in a different way now.

As Fournier noted at the time, while Mike Huckabee was Governor of Arkansas, he granted “1,033 pardons and commutations, including for 12 convicted murderers.”

To quote a different preacher, those chickens are now coming home to roost in inconvenient ways.

Ha ha, that’s what the Lord Jesus says in John 3:16, “Those chickens are now coming home to roost in inconvenient ways.” But Jesus was talking about Al Gore, so come on.

Anyway, Huckabee nows says he’s “less likely” to run for the GOP nomination in 2012, because can you imagine what Sarah Palin’s going to say about this, during the rare campaign stop when she’s not leading a chant of “Lynch Obama and other coloreds”?

And Tim Pawlenty (remember him? neither do we), he wants the Palin nuts to know that he sure never pardoned any cop killers, not him.

Ugh, the families of these poor cops have it bad enough, with the pointless executions of their loved ones. Must make it so much better to watch it turn into a Republican primary contest. [RedState/Washington Post/The Hill/Seattle Times]

{ 75 comments }

memzilla December 1, 2009 at 11:46 am

A statement by the families of the slain cops, saying “don’t politicize this horrible event,” would go a long way to stop the conservatard grandstanding which would otherwise occur.

Oh who am I kidding… might as well wish for an unrestricted public health care option.

Chain Tattoo December 1, 2009 at 11:49 am

Jesus also said: “This is my body: EAT ME!”
I think Governor Humpyfuck should make that a campaign slogan, seeing how he’s a holy roller reverend and all.

PsycGirl December 1, 2009 at 11:52 am

Huckabee’s book is coming out in a new edition “Quit digging your grave with a knife, fork and that pen you use to sign pardons with”.

Sparky McGruff December 1, 2009 at 11:53 am

[re=468771]Chain Tattoo[/re]: Jesus also said: “This is my body: EAT ME!”

Mike Huckabee hears donuts saying “EAT ME!” every damn minute. Then again, I hear it too. It’s my inner lard-ass, trying to break free, and let me be the 800 pounder that I could be if I just ate every damn thing in sight. Damn donuts!

AnnieGetYourFun December 1, 2009 at 11:53 am

Hey, I live FOUR BLOCKS FROM WHERE HE WAS GUNNED DOWN and I’m all about making this a political moment. Mostly because I am an unlovable, heartless beast-thing.

Mustang December 1, 2009 at 11:54 am

No tag backs and no fair ripping off Lee Atwater!

Buzz Feedback December 1, 2009 at 11:57 am

Willie Horton just endorsed Huck.

JMP December 1, 2009 at 11:58 am

Of course, this guy, whose draconian sentence probably did deserve commuting (though not for Huck’s reasoning, that he began worshiping a dead guy), will drag down Huckabee’s chances, even though the previous murderer who was released from a rape conviction by Huck did not. Of course, that guy was released for illegitimate reasons, because insane conspiracy theorist conservatives thought he was framed by Clinton.

Mr Blifil December 1, 2009 at 11:59 am

Huckabee’s very existence is a holocaust to all the light loving plants eternally thwarted by having to contend with the vast shadow he gives off.

slappypaddy December 1, 2009 at 11:59 am

i never pardoned any cop-killers or molesters or rapers or robbers or anything like that. can i be president? i’m easily bought.

Decker December 1, 2009 at 12:00 pm

[re=468768]memzilla[/re]: Exactly. See “9/11 widows.” Republicans know that politics is for hedge fund managers, football coaches, lobbyists and slavers – NOT people living in the real world.

Chain Tattoo December 1, 2009 at 12:00 pm

[re=468773]Sparky McGruff[/re]: I moved to France to escape the talking donuts. Worked for awhile, but as my French improved I started to hear the croissants imploring “Mangez-moi” and I was right back where I started.

hockeymom December 1, 2009 at 12:02 pm

It’s been fun watching the tap dancing going on over at the FOX network. O’Reilly “forgave” Huckabee last night on his show. This is the same O’Reilly who regularly ambushes “activist” judges who hand down sentences he doesn’t think are harsh enough.

And the same FOX network run by Roger Ailes who once said of an ad he created about Willie Horton “the only question is whether we depict Willie Horton with a knife in his hand or without it.”

Looking forward to the new promos Ailes comes up with for Huckabee’s show.

rafflesinc December 1, 2009 at 12:03 pm

[re=468779]Buzz Feedback[/re]: How about that. He’s still alive

http://www.dpscs.state.md.us/inmate/search.do?searchType=detail&id=78228

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2009 at 12:04 pm

Slobbering ghoulishness — finally a public option the GOP can get behind.

shadowMark December 1, 2009 at 12:04 pm

Bill Gates is safe, though, right? Nobody has shot Bill Gates, right?

DemmeFatale December 1, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Warren, Cheney, Attention Whores, and now Huckabee?!
(The Obama/Afghanistan thing was bad enough!)

My bleeding heart makes my head hurt!

magic titty December 1, 2009 at 12:05 pm

RedState invoking Malcolm X? Meghan McCain alluding to Hunter S. Thompson? To quote Vince Lombardi, “What the hell is going on around here?”

Aflac Shrugged December 1, 2009 at 12:06 pm

I would point out that this guy convinced not one, but two parole boards in Arkansas to release him after Huckabee’s grant of clemency nine years ago, and that a crazed, out-of-nowhere killing spree does not invalidate the inherent good of allowing an executive the power to pardon.

But this is Mike Huckabee, who out of all the known Republican hopefuls for 2000 is the one most capable of simulating actual human emotion. He can be genuine, self-deprecating and relatable to the public at large, and thus I hope that even more vicious and unfounded falsehoods crop up around this story.

Cape Clod December 1, 2009 at 12:06 pm

[re=468774]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Is Sarah Palin standing on the guy’s dead body right now?

hockeymom December 1, 2009 at 12:07 pm

And not to point out the obvious, but pardoning heinous criminals is probably EXACTLY what Jesus would do.
So I’m assuming all the bible wing of the party is lining up to support Huckabee.

4tehlulz December 1, 2009 at 12:08 pm

If Democratic governors hadn’t put the cop killer in jail, Huckabee would never have been forced to pardon him.

mgardener December 1, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Well well well.
Is sarah palin and inch closer to the nomination?
People better start talking or she will still look good to the loons in ’12

JMP December 1, 2009 at 12:13 pm

[re=468796]magic titty[/re]: Once someone’s dead, it becomes easy for the right-wing punditry to try and misappropriate their message, no matter how much conservatives may have hated them while alive. You see it all the time with Martin Luther King.

Or maybe the conservative movement is just trying to invoke the spirit of the 60s. In that case, they’re doing it wrong; about the only thing the teabaggers have in common with the hippies is the lack of bathing and consequent body odor.

ManchuCandidate December 1, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Somewhere the ghost of Lee Atwater is crying “Caught in our web of racism!”

mumblyjoe December 1, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Honestly, given how many “convicted murderers” are actually guilty of being near a crime scene whilst brown, I’m honestly a little surprised that he’s only commuted and/or pardoned a dozen or so.

Oh, wait. Arkansas. Never mind, then.

WarAndG December 1, 2009 at 12:16 pm

That’s it, every fucking news event from today forward will be framed in the context of crowning the next Presidentalist in 2012.

Jewdishoowary Square December 1, 2009 at 12:17 pm

To a “Palin Drone”, everything backwards looks totally normal.

Carrie_Okie December 1, 2009 at 12:19 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSvD5SM_uI4 Also, if the zombie cop killing black feller is not dead, undead, like Bela Lugosi, then will Sarah Palin shoot him from her snowmobilly death panel gone wild like abstinence only pubic option? Huh? Will she?

shadowMark December 1, 2009 at 12:19 pm

[re=468796]magic titty[/re]: What the hell is going on around here?

There’s something happening here
What it is ain’t exactly clear
There’s a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

I think it’s time we stop, children,
What’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

There’s battle lines being drawn
Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind

I think it’s time we stop, hey,
What’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side

It’s time we stop, hey,
What’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you’re always afraid
You step out of line
The man come and take you away

We better stop, hey,
What’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

Stop, hey,
What’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

Stop, now,
What’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

Stop, children,
What’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down

donner_froh December 1, 2009 at 12:20 pm

[re=468768]memzilla[/re]: They might be a bit busy now, dealing with the shock of the sudden death of husband/wife, father/mother to think about how it might affect the Republican primaries in a few years.

RoscoePColtraine December 1, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=468801]hockeymom[/re]: I’d imagine Jesus would have the good sense to stay out of politics… – Mike Huckabee

By the way, that line always left me wondering who the fuck thought it made Huckabee look smart, in a “good sense” sort of way.

Anyhoo, I really came here to blow and go with the comment that this Seattle cop is a definite hero. He saved the taxpayers the cost of incarcerating this worthless human and the a trial. When it’s this cut and dried, I say execute ‘em on the spot. It’s the Murikan way.

V572625694 December 1, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Another impediment to the TPaw uuggernaught’s unerring path to the White House in 2013 has been removed. Feel the glory!

weejee December 1, 2009 at 12:24 pm

2012 mantra – Mike WillieHorton WillieHorton WillieHorton WillieHorton Huckabeebee.

Cicada December 1, 2009 at 12:24 pm

[re=468796]magic titty[/re]: Now that W is out of power, the wingers are adopting the rebel aesthetic that they once so dearly loved to paint as “unpatriotic”. It’s funny. Just think of the poutrage if Cindy Sheehan had paraphrased Malcolm X in 2005.

V572625694 December 1, 2009 at 12:25 pm

[re=468817]shadowMark[/re]: “For What It’s Worth” the song: kinda tired of it after all these years. Not all that profound when you see the words written out that way.

Pre-alcoholic Stephen Stills austere and beautiful guitar work on FWIW: oh my!

magic titty December 1, 2009 at 12:25 pm

[re=468817]shadowMark[/re]: Mellencamp?

AnnieGetYourFun December 1, 2009 at 12:26 pm

[re=468800]Cape Clod[/re]: I’m sure she’s angry that she didn’t get a chance to shoot him from a helicopter. She probably thinks it’s ironic, because she campaigned on a message of hope, and shooting dark moving things with high-powered rifles.

NoWireHangers December 1, 2009 at 12:26 pm

Willie Horton times infinity forever and ever. Amen.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 1, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=468788]hockeymom[/re]: Bless you for watching Fox Snooze. Or bless your heart, as ’twere.

Dashboard_Buddha December 1, 2009 at 12:30 pm

An Inconvenient Roost?

RoscoePColtraine December 1, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Hoisted on his own pitard.

Also.

thatonegirlsays December 1, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Oh my God, Ken Layne, you managed to make me laugh about something very sad. But seriously, all the conservative dingbat retards here in Seattle are NOT blaming Mike Huckabee. Instead it is our libruhl King & Pierce county judges (“These damn counties are why we have Gregoire and Comrade Obama in office,” sayeth my bus driver this morning to a bus full of nodding gremlins) who are to blame for the colored cop killer.

germansteel December 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Every time something happens that shows what scum sucking hypocrits the Republicans, Christists, and conservatives in general, are, liberals assume that that will be the end of that particular iteration of double-douchebag-standards for the right wingnuts.

That will be proved wrong, again. Trust me. They have no shame, moral consistency, memory or bottom line. Fuck em all with a red hot poker, I say with all due religiousity.

bago December 1, 2009 at 12:36 pm

[re=468774]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I know about three people that live about 4 blocks from where he was gunned down. Go Beacon Hill!

memzilla December 1, 2009 at 12:37 pm

[re=468807]JMP[/re]: In the hippies’ defense, we did use a lot of patchouli and Ozium to cover up the B.O. and dope smoke. Oh wait, that’s not better. Never mind.

shadowMark December 1, 2009 at 12:44 pm

[re=468827]V572625694[/re]: kinda tired of it after all these years — Aw, actually it makes me feel a million years old first because I AM an old freak and second because to my old freak ears the lyrics seem to fit so well today. And to me it feels weird around here without Juli around being, you know, young and all. I’m going to do one more then shut up:

Everywhere is
Freaks and hairies
Dykes and fairies
Tell me where is sanity

Tax the rich
Feed the poor
Till there are no rich no more

I’d love to change the world
But I don’t know what to do
So I’ll leave it up to you

Population
Keeps on breeding
Nation bleeding
Still more feeding
Economy

Life is funny
Skies are sunny
Bees make honey
Who needs money
Monopoly

I’d love to change the world
But I don’t know what to do
So I’ll leave it up to you

World pollution
There’s no solution
Institution
Electrocution

Just black and white
Rich or poor
Them and us
Stop the war

I’d love to change the world
But I don’t know what to do
So I’ll leave it up to you

AnnieGetYourFun December 1, 2009 at 12:52 pm

[re=468843]bago[/re]: I lived on Beacon Hill for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. Wait, oh. Five and a half months, actually.

Min December 1, 2009 at 12:53 pm

We must surely be in the midst of the End Times, if Mike Huckabee’s decision not to run for president is potentially a Bad Thing.

Paul Tardy December 1, 2009 at 12:54 pm

Has ‘person of interest’ Clemmons been upgraded to guilty beyond a reasonable doubt? I have not seen an explanation of how they decided he did it.

Next Great Pwndit December 1, 2009 at 12:54 pm

Cop shoots cop-killer. Dog bites man.

OReillysVibrator December 1, 2009 at 12:59 pm

If he was Mormon, he’d be so used to broadcasting propaganda in the face of undeniable facts as to persevere and run in 2012. I’ll miss his hilarious “God’s cool with war and tax cuts” platform delivered with “preaching-lies-with-a-smile” charm in the Republican debates, sigh.

TGY December 1, 2009 at 1:00 pm

The chickens coming home to roost had better beware the deep fryer.

Spike December 1, 2009 at 1:01 pm

OK, so yesterday, there were reports that the cops had this guy holed up in a house and the Seattle Times reported, specifically “Police shoot into a house during a search for Maurice Clemmons after a standoff that lasted several hours early Monday morning.”

Turns out he wasn’t there. Later, they find this guy during a traffic stop.

So, uh, are the Seattle cops just shooting into houses at random now?

DangerousLiberal December 1, 2009 at 1:08 pm

Spike: where they shot the guy is not far from where this house is. Who knows what this dude was up to?

Also see that BillO is the Huckster’s big enabler, blaming Washington State judges for this bad guy’s low bail. Billo claims that the judges set bail at $15k on a child rape case, which is bullshit, because that’s what the bail bondsman asked for, not the actual bail. Therefore, Billo is a dick.

@Paul Tardy: They found one of the dead cops’ guns on this Clemmons punk. Good enough for me.

Jukesgrrl December 1, 2009 at 1:08 pm

[re=468817]shadowMark[/re]: That should be our National Anthem.

Fox n Fiends December 1, 2009 at 1:10 pm

THE HUCK STOPS HERE.

momus December 1, 2009 at 1:19 pm

One thing Pallin isn’t is a phony digbat. She may be a digbat phony but she still a real digbat.

Lascauxcaveman December 1, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=468860]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Hope that street has gotten less scary since I was very nearly carjacked there back in ’86. Driving through there in my old chevy convertible, top down, on my way home after a gig with a back seat full of expensive-looking guitars and amps. Sitting at a red light waiting for it to change. Fortunately, my drummer was sober/paranoid enough to notice the two young pigmented fellows come out of the shadows and start running up to us, one pulling a gun out of his jacket.

“Uhh… Tim! GO!!!”

PoetryMan December 1, 2009 at 1:27 pm

[re=468781]Mr Blifil[/re]: Is that a “holocaust” or a “Holocaust”?

SmilingMightyJesus December 1, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Don’t forget that Huckabee once pardoned a convicted rapist because some Mena Airport Conspiracy Buffs thought it would be a slap to Bill Clinton. I wish we could wait until after the Republican Convention for people to get to know this asshole.

Accordion-o-rama December 1, 2009 at 1:58 pm

[re=468920]PoetryMan[/re]: The Huckcaust.

depraved indifference engine December 1, 2009 at 2:13 pm

[re=468768]memzilla[/re]: Not so sure. Aren’t cops just a bunch of Union Thugs beholden to the Liberals? It would probably just reinforce what conservatards already believed.

chascates December 1, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Even Clinton executed a mentally retarded inmate who saved his last meal dessert to eat afterwards. Someone who believes in mercy has no chance of being elected President.

Sweet Baby Cheeses December 1, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Not only should Huckabee denounce himself, but he should recuse himself from being Mike Huckabee in the future, just to be safe.

user-of-owls December 1, 2009 at 2:36 pm

From Mike’s Xmas Album!

Letting out the skeeves;
Letting out the skeeves;
We all come rejoicing,
letting out the skeeves.

coochiemama December 1, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=468862]Paul Tardy[/re]: Clemmons bragged the night before the murders that he was going to go on a killing spree, incl. cops. The baristas picked him out of a montage (he has….err had a distinctive mole on his face). He was running around the city, eluding LE, dripping blood from a close-range gunshot wound to his gut, courtesy of one of the dead cops. He was found with one of the dead cop’s guns on him. I think they got the right guy.

Words December 1, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=468828]magic titty[/re]: Crosby, Stills, and Nash..

Flanders December 1, 2009 at 4:54 pm

[re=468880]Spike[/re]: No, it was pretty awful here the last couple of days. He had family and friends giving him money, medical care (he was seriously wounded in the abdomen by one of the cops he killed), transportation and cell phones. There was an all out manhunt going on in Seattle for this guy. Friends in Leschi had to deal with the second manhunt for a cop killer in less than a month. That said, it took exactly five comments in the Seattle Times before the killing was blamed on Obama.

Flanders December 1, 2009 at 4:56 pm

[re=468862]Paul Tardy[/re]: Let’s see, the gaping gunshot wound in his abdomen from one of the cops he killed, or the cop’s gun that that he stole during the murders that was found on his body?? Would that do it for ya, big guy?

PerhapsSo December 1, 2009 at 7:37 pm

[re=469416]Flanders[/re]: Conbined with him bragging to people in the days before the shooting that he was going to kill some cops and that they should watch the news.

Jennasaurus Rex December 1, 2009 at 8:33 pm

[re=468860]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: It really seems like the Seattle area has suddenly become cop-killing central in the past month or so. What the fuck is going on?

NYNYNY December 1, 2009 at 10:23 pm

[re=468849]shadowMark[/re]: Stop!

LowerdPeninsula December 2, 2009 at 2:36 am

[re=468798]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Best post of the thread, so I’ll repeat it for you in all bold:

“I would point out that this guy convinced not one, but two parole boards in Arkansas to release him after Huckabee’s grant of clemency nine years ago, and that a crazed, out-of-nowhere killing spree does not invalidate the inherent good of allowing an executive the power to pardon.

But this is Mike Huckabee, who out of all the known Republican hopefuls for 2000 is the one most capable of simulating actual human emotion. He can be genuine, self-deprecating and relatable to the public at large, and thus I hope that even more vicious and unfounded falsehoods crop up around this story.”

Boondock Saint December 2, 2009 at 7:21 am

This would have been a good time to use that 5000# “christmas card” photo of the enlarged HuCkSters….

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