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Slobberin' up this bird I amHomophobic fat-butt Mr. Pastor Rick Warren likes to do one thing and that is to lie. He’s a lot like that other guy, Lanny Davis: they both cultivate images of themselves as non-partisan peacebrokers, but when you point out that they’re really just self-centered establishment whores looking out for their own professional interests at all times, they get super mad and whine about the lack of Civility in today’s discourse and blame everything on bloggers. (If only!)

Rick Warren is somewhere in the middle of this narrative, currently, with his latest crap, where he refuses to condemn a piece of Ugandan legislation that would essentially legalize the genocide of 500,000 gay folks there, because he — along with the secret C-Street cumswappers known as “The Family” — is great pals with the powerful African ministers backing this legislation.

The homophobic fat-butt declareth:

The fundamental dignity of every person, our right to be free, and the freedom to make moral choices are gifts endowed by God, our creator. However, it is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations.

Diarrhea. The man is made of diarrhea.

Oh but maybe this is just a disagreement and that is not a civil way to respond? Fine. Dear Sir Pastor Mr. Dr. Baron Richard Warren: You are a false human. With warmest regards, Jeebus.

Pastor Rick Warren Refuses To Condemn Ugandan Law Making Homosexual Acts Punishable By Death [Think Progress]

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  • WarAndG

    “However, it is not my personal calling…to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations.” Hey libtards, conservatives have been saying and acting on this principle forever. There is no inconsistency here.

  • Aflac Shrugged

    Reminds me of the time that Jesus told his disciples that he’d rather not see moneychangers in the Temple, but would respect the functioning of the free market and the Roman colonial government.

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    Dear Father Warren, or whatever you’re called. I will attempt to make this is civil as possible. The excrement that you believe to be your brain is dribbling out your nose and mouth down your chin. I suggest that you may require a handkerchief.

  • MLHencken

    He bloviated on Meat the Press this past Sunday. Apparently it is okay for him to take Sundays off. To bloviate.

  • the problem child

    “However, it is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations.”

    Since when? Aren’t they always bitching about the poor persecuted x-tians in China?

  • rocktonsammy

    A purpose driven life…

  • proudgrampa

    Stunning. I guess he would have said similar tripe about Nazi Germany. Can’t comment on the political process that kills millions.

    Jesus wept.

  • JMP

    Now, the Ugandan politicians who are sponsoring the kill-the-gays legislation aren’t pals with The Family. They’re members of The Family. Get it right.

    The whole Family organization is a bit crazy. It’s a secretive collection of powerful fundamentalist cumstains determined to control politics; sort of like what the black helicopter crowd imagines the Jews or, more recently, ACORN to be, but real.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    To right wing ‘tards like Warren, the only thing worse than the gayz is poverty-stricken, black gayz. They can’t be having them one second of relief from their constant misery, you know.

  • AggieDemocrat

    Yeah, I’m sure Jesus really gave a crap about political boundaries and niceties when genocide was happening.

  • gurukalehuru

    It is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations. That would explain why he was so vocal in his opposition to the war in Iraq. If, of course, he had been.

  • Sparky McGruff

    [re=468609]WarAndG[/re]: “However, it is not my personal calling…to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations.” Hey libtards, conservatives have been saying and acting on this principle forever. There is no inconsistency here.

    Since freakin’ when? St. Ronnie cut sleazy deals with the Muslins in order to send weapons to the “freedom fighters” in central america so they could overthrow a popular government. Hell, St. Ronnie invaded Grenada because some med students complained about their scores. Conservatives have never shied away from sticking their nose in other peoples business, at least not when the government in question actually is trying to help their people, or if there’s oil to be found.

    You can be damn sure if the Ugandan goverment was giving out condoms to try to stem the AIDS epidemic in central Africa that Ricky Warren would be all over it like shit on a hiking boot. Face it, he’s happy to see someone killing fags, and he’s jealous that we can’t do it here.

  • bago

    [re=468620]proudgrampa[/re]: That would totally drain their talent pool. If there were no nazis, we wouldn’t have pope ratzi.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    The Family sounds like something out of a Stephen King novel only scarier. Calling him human diarrhea is an insult to runny bowel movements. He probably thinks the world is his diaper.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Dear Rick:
    Ur doin it RONG.
    No love,
    GOD

  • Mad Brahms

    If I thought for a moment he were sincere and was simply trying to express an anxiety over the overreach of U.S. interests in the world, I might be sympathetic. This is unlikely. Fail.

  • norbizness

    (while Robot Santa is shooting up the place)

    Mayor: Jesus! Do something!

    Zoidberg: (as Jesus, hiding) I help those who help themselves!

  • TGY

    If Jesus could feed the multitude from a few loaves and fishes, I firmly believe that Warren could feed all of Africa with his heart alone. And the sooner the better.

  • bobwurst

    Is this the same Reverend Warren who needs his wife to lock his computer so he doesn’t give in to his internet porn addiction? Maybe he should ignore the speck in someone else’s eye until he removes the log from his own. And by log, I mean a dick, and by eye, I mean brown eye.

  • x111e7thst

    Mr Pastor Rick is , in and of himself, the best possible arguement that humans are entirely without inherent dignity, fundamental or otherwise, and that they should not be permitted to make moral choices as they tend to make the wrong ones. Fit him with a shock collar and give me the control.

  • Cicada

    Well, this is hardly the first time a Christian leader has signed off on genocidal policies.
    Which brings up the question: is it still a violation of Godwin’s law if the comparison is actually apt?

  • magic titty

    That is one amazing lie. So…he has no opinion/comment on Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Honduras, Venezuela, Uganda, China, Israel, etc? Is that what we’re to understand?

  • OReillysVibrator

    So I guess Jesus’s proclamations were just local ordinances.

  • snideinplainsight

    U ganda make a purse out of a sow’s ear! Er, whatever. I tried.

  • freakishlystrong

    So what we have here is a cabal of fundie, right wing nuts who make secret deals with other countries to enact legislation they wish they could enact here. Hope n’ change!

    And didn’t this hateful jeebustard give the benediction at the inauguration?

  • Terry

    “However, it is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations.”

    But you’re more than willing to break that Church-State barrier and screw around with the political process here, aren’t you Rick?

    This guy is amoral.

  • Cicada

    [re=468651]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yes. And he did a “I’m not a homophobe, some of my best friends are gay” press junket for damage control back then. What a fuckstick.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I’m still trying to figure out why a Christian pastor should be commenting or interfering in the political process of any nation, including this one. Shouldn’t he be focusing his attention on his parishioners, people who have explicitly requested he monitor their penis use, for Jesus?

  • Aflac Shrugged

    Wow, you guys are being unjustifiably harsh. Don’t you realize these so-called persecuted Ugandans are not only gay, but umm, *black* too?

    I hope that makes everything clear.

  • WarAndG

    [re=468630]Sparky McGruff[/re]: I was being Bocephus or is it facetious? Anywho I just recalled the “Liberate Iraq” lawn signs all along the streets of Christian white suburbia of 2003.

  • hockeymom

    Warren has no problem, however, inserting himself into the abortion debate. He likens abortion to “the Holocaust”.
    You know who else had some experience with the Holocaust…..

  • P Drizzle

    Do I read bitterness in that statement? I think somebody got kicked off the BearsOnline forum…

  • Holy Cow!!

    So if they were executing Christians, he’d be ok with that?

    I can hear the cries of persecution now.

  • hockeymom

    [re=468671]Holy Cow!![/re]: There are no gay Christians, duh. It’s against the law.

  • ivenson

    So, if a foreign nation goes against the will of your god, you don’t think you have the right to interfere?

    Precedent, set. Full stop.

    Now fuck off fat man.

  • Sparky McGruff

    [re=468659]WarAndG[/re]: I was quick on the trigger, good thing I didn’t shoot you in the face. But it’s okay. I blame the liberal media conspiracy. And Katie Couric. Also.

  • Decker

    [re=468610]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: I’ve met plenty of Christians who could pick a line from the Bible when it suited them, but none who could pursue a coherent line of thought.

  • JMP

    [re=468674]ivenson[/re]: No, these are Christians; Uganda is going right along with the will of their god.

  • Prommie

    This is a disturbing pattern; the christ-tard homophobes have discovered that there is a strain of homophobia rampant in Africa which is even more vicious and virulent than their own, and they are embracing it left and right. Even that most liberal and mainstream of protestant churches, teh episcopalians, those of them with the extreme hatred of the gheys, have been divorcing their individual parishes from their diocese, and submitting to the authority of African Bishops, who hates teh gheys something fierce.

    The GOP is even trying to use black homophobia as a wedge to peel black support away from the Demoncrat party (they are so funny with the pejorative nicknames, those guys).

  • Flanders

    So why does he have a prison pussy again?

  • Cicada

    [re=468689]Prommie[/re]: Oh they’ve been playing on black homophobia for years. Luckily for the Dems, black voters tend to prioritize things like education and the economy before homophobia when they vote. Then there’s the fact that younger black people are less homophobic than their parents, just like every other group.
    The GOP has wrung almost all of the milk from that sad, withered udder.

  • Woodwards Friend

    If he doesn’t want to interfere in political processes, etc why is he meddling in their AIDS?

  • frumious_bandersnatch

    Is it okay if I was *already* pissed at Rick Warren, just for existing? I’m still going on a theory that the people who love him are lifelong hemhorroid sufferers, who are basking in the miracle of this walking-talking polyp…

  • ReverendAdam

    “More than one half of the world’s population lives in places that severely restrict or prohibit the freedom to practice one’s religious beliefs,” explained Warren, apparently in violation of his own principled stand against commenting on more than half of the world’s leaders.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    I could tell you all that Rick Warren was, right now, under a “cone of silence” as he is driving around the block, but you’d all know it was bullshit and a lie. They couldn’t build a cone big enough to fit around his fat ass.

    You lie, Rick. Liar liar liar liar. And you’re fat. Go fuck off and die, please.

  • Mr Blifil

    Sounds like somebody likes his Ugandan rent boys.

  • ReverendAdam

    Rick Warren to Jeffrey Goldberg in The Atlantic discussing Darfur:

    JG: Talk about one issue we’ve talked about before, genocide, and the American response to genocide. What are you, as a human, a Christian, and an American, commanded to do when you know a genocide is taking place, a documented genocide?

    RW: In the Old Testament, it says that if you have the power to do something good, then you have to do it. You’re not to avoid helping somebody in their time of need. Shoot, the Torah says that if you find a cow in a ditch you’ve got to help it out. Even if it’s the enemy’s cow, you’ve got to help it out. We’ve got this compassion fatigue in America. It’s why we have a slow genocide going on in Darfur.

    JG: So America has a duty to help.

    RW: The answer is, we must do all we can. People say America is not the policeman of the world. We may not be, but the Bible says, if you have been blessed, then you are to care for people who can’t care for themselves, you are to speak up for people who can’t speak for themselves, and to defend the defenseless.

  • Cicada

    [re=468739]ReverendAdam[/re]: Arrrgh! My eyes are stinging from all the blatant hypocrisy getting rubbed in them.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Accusing a clergyman of hypocrisy is like accusing water of dampness.

  • Autochthon

    “However, it is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations.”

    Just in the political process of *THIS* nation, then?

    “Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!”

  • Dean Booth

    A purpose driven lie.

  • CycloneArmageddon

    Jesus wouldn’t piss on this man if he was on fire.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Rules for the Holy:
    1. When a nation acts benificently, you praise it.
    2. When a nation acts evilly, you condemn it.
    3. When a nation does something unspeakable in the name of your blood-drenched paleolithic desert god, and you approve it but don’t want the condemnation of the entire civilized world, announce that you are above politics and will let nations act as they please.

  • yellowdogdem

    [re=468689]Prommie[/re]: I think you meant “embracing it right and right.”

  • coolcatdaddy

    Thanks, Mr. Warren, for reminding me how crass, opportunistic and generally reprehensible human beings can be in the name of “religion”.

    Excuse me while I go worship at my personal altar to Dionysius to wash the thought of that human butt pimple out of my mind.

  • An Outhouse

    Didn’t that fat fuck read the part in the Bible about gluttony? What a fat fucking glutton. He is a disgrace and a poor example for our children. We should put all gluttons to death starting with fat fucking Rick Warren and his bareback church.

  • Brendan M.

    [re=468630]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Actually, Uganda did distribute condoms and were an unprecedented success story in their fight against HIV/AIDS. But then Bush came into office and, with the help of the Family and Evangelical nuts, they pressured the Ugandan government to change their emphasis to abstinence-only education to fight HIV/AIDS. Shockingly, infection rates doubled and much of the progress that had been made was ruined. Jesus saves, etc..

    [re=468739]ReverendAdam[/re]: Ouch. Good find.

  • glamourdammerung

    Maybe we should persecute Christians as a balance? After a couple of Christian death camps, they might finally get it through their collective heads that their behaviour is not acceptable. The other obvious benefit would be that it would finally mean all the bullshit they claim about being mistreated could be true.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Could someone please make a Major Motion Picture that portrays The Family as anti-vampire? Then maybe people would hate them the way they deserve to hated.

  • smitallica

    “However, it is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations. It is my personal calling to shove as much hateful biblical bullshit into my chowderheaded minions and as much cheese-coated animal flesh into my bloated piehole as fast as my Vienna Sausage fingers can manage, just before my fucking empty black heart gives out. In Jesus’ name.”

    Fixed.

  • Autochthon

    what a hippo-crite. and to think that Hopey could be taken in by this bigot’s shameless self-promotion…

  • AlexisHidell

    Jesus hung out with 12 dudes who were in love with him and a couple of dried-up fag hags. The only time he cried was when his “friend” died of ancient Middle Eastern AIDS. He was as gay as the day is long, Warren. Admit it.

  • FilthyMilk

    [re=468630]Sparky McGruff[/re]:

    I agree that he is jealous that they can’t just round all us homos up here. I think he and his ilk should have the balls to say what they really think about the gays, blacks, browns, muslins, etc.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    [re=468689]Prommie[/re]: You know, I’m really tired of blacks and/or Africans getting dragged through the mud as being particularly homophobic. Much of the Middle East and West Asia have much further to go, and always have. The truth is that Uganda is a particularly fucked-up place, socially. This is the land of Idi Amin. ‘Nuff said.

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