Chelsea Clinton’s Getting Married To the Investment Banker Son of a Federal Prisoner!

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'goodbye to the ugly steeple fear, good times for ever after ...'Love is in the air! Famous first daughter Chelsea Clinton is getting married to some guy she’s shacked up with, in Manhattan. He’s a Wall Street hotshot, and everybody loves those guys. And his dad is a convicted felon who recently got out of FEDERAL PRISON. The Clintons: Still making everybody else look better. [Chicago Sun-Times]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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50 comments

  1. Way Cool Larry

    Goldman Sachs, no less!!!

    And could they have gotten a dorkier picture of her in the article???

  2. Darkness

    As long as the bankers in question aren’t laundering money for the Nazis. . .still better than the Bush family.

  3. Mr Blifil

    The Sun-Times story on Chelsea also links to a story about a guy who collapsed to death in a Chicago “adult theatre.” Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

  4. the problem child

    On the plus side, by saying yes to this banker, her google hits for the 40 goats and 20 cows Kenyan guy will eventually slide off the front page.

  5. shadowMark

    [re=467972]chascates[/re]: Meghan is still single. And she says her new book will be “…more Hunter Thompson “Fear & Loathing on Campaign Trail” than Going Rogue.”

    I guessing Meghan will wait for her second or third marriage before she gets to an investment banker.

  6. shadowMark

    [re=467991]proudgrampa[/re]: With my luck I’d switch teams and get an investment banker from Dubai.

  7. Mad Brahms

    [re=468010]Min[/re]: Haha, honest banker. You crack me up.

    Do we have WND coverage yet? I am salivating over the thought of cross-generational Clinton rage.

  8. Terry

    Good for her. I hope this guy absolutely adores Chelsea and they have a long and happy life together. She spent her adolescent years in the media fishbowl and ended up an intelligent and accomplished woman. No photos of her drunk on a sidewalk in front of a bar, either.

  9. thesheriffisnear

    [re=468015]Extemporanus[/re]: Your mean spirited Sally Field reference renders my Marge Redmond referece somewhat moot. Damn your eyes.

  10. bitchincamaro

    [re=468041]dum librul[/re]: No, but here’s to hoping she’ll be seated next to Walnuts at the reception.

  11. ivenson

    [re=468005]shadowMark[/re]: Hunter Thompson, eh? So that’s not junk in her trunk, it’s a suitcase of pharmaceuticals.

  12. Manos: Hands of Fate

    Didn’t the Bush kids at least make some effort — in between doing shots on U St of course — to do something that at least sounds like they were trying to give something back to the world, like keeping kids from getting AIDS or whats all.

    Not only does Chelsea marry a Wall Street scumbag — she’s one herself.

  13. Extemporanus

    [re=468042]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Isn’t Marge the one right behind Sally?

    My mom is a dead ringer for Sally Field, and the exact same age. You can imagine the adolescent angst I experienced upon coming to this realization mid-Smokey and the Bandit beat-off session.

  14. chascates

    [re=468005]shadowMark[/re]: I can see Meghan waving around a pistol, smoking cigarettes through a holder, and downing quarts of tequila with hits of LSD. And then she rips her bodice and . . .

  15. Mr Blifil

    For their wedding gift, new Clinton best bud Richard Mellon Scaife will pay to have Vince Foster’s body exhumed.

  16. Flanders

    [re=468065]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Uh no, you are totally wrong. Did you even *read* the article? The two live in New York, he employed by Goldman Sachs, she attending graduate school at Columbia University’s School of Public Health. Besides, what’s with your venom?

  17. thesheriffisnear

    [re=468070]Extemporanus[/re]: Then why didn’t you pound it to Marlo Thomas in “That Girl” or Elizabeth Montgomery in “Bewitched.” It sounds very Freudian to me.

  18. skutre

    Oh Nooeess!!!11!!

    If we’re not careful those Wall Street guys are going to take over the gubmint.

    And that is the ugliest old transvestite wall street nun I have ever seen. Chelsea needs to invest in some o’ them new fangled spectacles.

  19. Extemporanus

    [re=468119]shadowMark[/re]: That sounds perfectly Norman to me. I mean, seriously, have you seen Megan Fox’s thumbs?

    [re=468160]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Freud not. I switched back to my old standby, Laura Petrie, as soon as I noticed the similarity.

    Though to this day, every time I hear “Eastbound and Down”, a warm tingly feeling spreads throughout my swimsuit area.

  20. thesheriffisnear

    [re=468070]Extemporanus[/re]: Laura Petrie, YUM!!! The toe in the faucet episode makes me all excited in my private place.

  21. thefrontpage

    Within 10 years, this Clinton woman and her psycho husband will be under investigation for questionable finances, questionable campaign donations, possibly embezzlement, possible involvement in sham donations, and fraud, mismanagement and public corruption. Both will be sent to jail. “I told ya’ so!” Bill Clinton will say, as he sits back in his leather chair in the den at his fancy New York estate, counting his money.

  22. DP

    Why does that one statue have a weird flesh colored face? Is Chelsea posing before one of those elitist Maplethorpe installations?

  23. Alex Trebeks Girl

    i hope that in the new wall street we can bet on things like whether there are chelsea clinton sex tapes

  24. CanadianBacon

    Can’t wait to hear John McCain’s toast to the bride. And if the new hubby pulls a Tiger Woods (or a Bill Clinton), two words, Vince Foster.

  25. LowerdPeninsula

    Apparently, she’s known the guy since high school. To see a stable relationship come out of Washington and then New York (and, out of that family, no less), is a beautiful thing.

    But, really, Mr. Mezvinsky: Jewish, investment banker, Goldman Sachs, Manhattan, hots for gentiles? Sir, if I may be so bold, are you trying to play a stereotype to a t?

  26. qaf

    [re=468024]Terry[/re]: Hear, hear. She’s an inspiration to all of us (or at least those whose parents might be elected President, which I admit might be a vanishingly small number).

Comments are closed.