Here’s a great War On Xmas gift for that kid on your list who cannot read and will never need those fancy elitism skills, anyway: a shitty “children’s book” about how Sarah Palin and her sack of dildos saves this plague rat from these dumb urchins. You know, because liberals are ruining this country! Jesus christ, why do people even send us these press releases? [Ugh]
BOOK LEARNIN'
November 30, 2009
Horrible New ‘Children’s Book’ Features Sarah Palin As Dildo Monster
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Are those kids looking at her naughty bits?
She promises to help the plague rat, but then she backs out.
King Rat, that is. King Rat.
She’s actually carrying the giant bag of lipstick-tipped, lightly-salted poison rat dicks we’ve always told her to eat!
… I just feel sorry for the poor dickless rat….
Somehow I imagine that these anti-realitarians actually think in comic sans.
“…a hilarious and entertaining way for parents to sit down with their children and teach them the origins of the new Tea Party movement and the importance of standing up for liberty and the American Dream.”
Presumably, the same people brought you “a hilarious and entertaining way to teach their children racism, sexism, and how to invade sovereign countries for no legitimate reason.”
Is that a fucking halo around her head?
Everybody knew Marvel Comics would suck after they were bought by Disney.
Marxus Obundus. Seriously.
Remember kids. Never take dildos from strangers.
From the description, the book sounds a lot like a bunch of meaningless wignut talking points thrown together in an incoherent but shiny package. So just like Sarah Palin herself, in other words.
Oh my god, the wink has action lines!
Where’s the Ox? And what is that sticking out of the front those young’uns pants? Gross.
The rat looks like it recognizes her.
Oh, the insanity!
iTouchpublishers.com. Ha! That’s great.
Show me iTouchLibrarians.com and I’ll be there.
What’s with the random thermometer on the right side of the frame?
Katharine DeBrecht is to J.K. Rowling as Sarah Palin is to Albert Einstein.
You know who else had political indoctrination booklets for the kiddies?
http://www.iisg.nl/landsberger/images/pdz01.jpg
Hee-hee.
Even in make believe land, they have to lather on the fake tanner or they confused her with Condi.
Roll over Dr Seuss.
” . . .sit down with their children and teach them the origins of Teabagging . . . ”
I’d rather my children learned about Teabagging the old fashioned way like I did, by reading Wonkette.
Love the Betty Paige shoes Bible Spice is wearing.
It looks like Sarah’s glasses are filling up with the salty tears of freedumb, and she’s crying about all the tyranny being inflicted by the radicals. Or the dildo, rat-dick thing.
Of course, if this book has illustrations of Michael Steele and his little enema dog, I’m getting one.
Sample pages from the book…
http://www.radicalsruiningmycountry.com/sample/sample.htm
I don’t know what the audience is for this book but it’s not children.
I read their sample pages, and I don’t see how kids could make heads or tails of what they’re saying unless they understood politics already, and even then they would merely understand what these people are talking about, despite the words thrown on the page being an embarrassing series of non sequiturs.
And if someone tried to give one of my kids a book talking about people getting “a chill running up his leg,” I’d call the cops. Seriously.
Wow, porn has changed since my day.
Will Tommy and Lou finally decide to join the other kids on the corner in standing up for freedom or will they continue to fear being vilified by the press and demeaned by Marxus Obundus (“the One”)?
When you have to add a parenthetical nickname to clarify the nickname you just invented, you have failed as a writer. Please Katharine DeBrecht, go back to eating the crayons instead of writing with them.
Also, Tommy and Lou are wearing retarded hip-hop Mickey Mouse pants. Also.
Why do those children remind me of the horror that was Highlights in the 1979s?
Needs more:
rogueiness
meth
boobs
Crazed/zombie-eyed Nancy Pelosi in the book is a dead ringer for Michele Bachmann.
[re=467848]mollymcguire[/re]: If I had children, I’d rather they learned about Teabagging the old fashioned way like I did, by reading personals in the back of gay porn magazines.
I thought this was satire until I actually googles the authoresse (authorina?):
My book doesn’t brainwash children. It is a fun story about traditional values and what happens when liberals try to thwart them. It exposes the truth about liberals, that they are for higher taxes and over-regulation. They believe the government is the solution to all problems in society; they are offended by anything Christian; and they constantly push their anti-family views on our children.
Such as funding education?
In any case, now I’m sad and I’ll only feel better if I go out and spread the news about awesome gay marriage-endorsed abortion performed by Marxist terrorists who cherish paying taxes and disenfranchising the white man above all else, just as any good librul pansy should.
That’s the part of the story where she prays to Jesus and he’s all like “Hey Sarah, what’s up? Sure, I’d be happy to send down some she-bears to maul all the children for you, lol.”
THIS IS NOT INDOCTRINATION PEOPLE!!1 THIS IS TRUFINESS!11
“Katharine DeBrecht puts the cunt back in country with her outrageously hilarious send ups of the commander in chief”- The New York Review of Books
Shouldn’t that tag be “Book larnin’,” you elitest educated Commie Pinko sonsabitches…
Rat to Palin: “You lie!”
Follow Tommy and Lou as they struggle to keep their swing set business afloat despite 246 czars, onerous regulations and sky-high taxes in these troubling times. Will Tommy and Lou finally decide to join the other kids on the corner in standing up for freedom or will they continue to fear being vilified by the press and demeaned by Marxus Obundus (“the One”)?
246 czars! Marcus Obundus! Stop! I can’t breathe.
[re=467856]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Damn, that is some crappy, opaque, and non-entertaining writing. It is just a bunch of strung-together dog-whistle references. I guess they figure wingnut parents will buy anything labeled “anti-liberal”, and they’ll never notice it’s shit because they won’t attempt to read it to their kids anyway.
You see? You see? We let kids read about Mormon vampires and Mormon werewolves protecting people from evil non-Mormon vampires and then we get this. What’s next? I mean WHAT’S NEXT?!!!1!1
[re=467842]Cicada[/re]: Funny how these red-staters’ kids books all look alike.
Where does one even go to buy a bag of lightly salted Chihuahua dicks?
“Help! Mom! Radicals Are Responsible for Creating My Country!”"
Fixed that for ya.
Their cover is all wrong, that’s not even what the ‘rostra’ looks like. There are supposed to be heads of political enemies on pikes, you know, for the people.
Call this number and when they answer, just set the phone aside and leave it off the hook! 1-800-791-5806, Extension 150
[re=467873]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: That site’s called “Intellectual Conservative”. These days, isn’t that an oxymoron?
The sample pages are supposed to have illustrations but they just have this incredibly idiotic text:
“But then something strange happened. A very smart-looking radical appeared on TV. “Now is the time for hope and change.” Marxus Obundus looked left and right, back and forth. How amazing he was! People swooned, TV reporters fell in love, and drive-thrus were more pleasant! So many people came from miles to hear his voice, they decided to construct a temple in which for him to speak.
“I’ll never have to work again!” a citizen at the temple gleamed “He’ll pay for my gas, my house and my cheeseburgers! I can sit and watch Dr. Phrill all day!”
“The tingle up my leg just confirms he is a savior!” a TV host proclaimed.
Columnists Kathleen Snarker and Peggy Nowsham girlishly dusted off their diaries, giggling with glee.”
[re=467873]Nigerian[/re]: Wait . . . so WHAT IS in her handbag? Is she leaving lipstick messages on every mirror of the world. Red Rom! Red Rom!
[re=467857]Larry McAwful[/re]: Jaysus K, you didn’t make that part up about “the tingle up my leg” part, did you?
Heh! Love to see some winger explaining that to his pre-teen offspring. It may be the critical point where they become suspicious that ol’ dad is a lunatic, and start digging their mental tunnel out of their family life. Mom is already known to be crazy, and that you should never let her get between you and the door to the room.
Columnists Kathleen Snarker and Peggy Nowsham girlishly dusted off their diaries, giggling with glee … which indicates way more fun than I can foresee any poor kid having who gets this for Christmas. Just imagine the blank looks on the faces of Nutland’s “gifted” children.
All proceeds will go to send Katharine DeBrecht to rehab for her addiction to exclamation points and paranoid delusions of literacy.
This book isn’t for children. It’s for Palin fans who never got past a 3rd grade reading level. If “Going Rogue” has too many big words, this book is for you!
[re=467954]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Wait a gol-darned second here. Are they dissin’ Peg Nooningtonshire?
[re=467834]bago[/re]: According to the Lexicon of Comicana,, the proper term for those lines is “emanata”, though I suppose they could also be referred to as “solerads”.
All I know is that Sarah Palin is a walking, talking squean-machine that makes me wanna grawlix.
These people would never think of brainwashing children. They like it when their kids come to their own independent decisions about which religious faith they would prefer to pursue also. Too.
I was so tired of seeing Britney’s and Lindsay Lohan’s baby rat in all the tabloids…now I gotta see this snowmonster bloodsack’s too? In a “children’s book”, no less? FALLEN OUT AND POINTING BACK AT HER??
I need a maxipad for my brain.
[re=468003]desertwind[/re]: And Kathleen Parker! It’s great when the wignuts turn on their own for not being quite crazy enough.
And the kids apparently pissed themseves, because they’re special that way.
[re=467829]watershed[/re]: Why, yes. Yes, it is.
I can’t wait to buy the new book since one “Grover Norquest” wrote about the previous book:
“Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed combines an ingenious story with hilarious illustrations to teach kide about the value of hard work and the threat that taxed pose to the American Dream.”
Who is Grover Norquest and what is a “kide?” I love books that teach me new words and introduce me to new people!
[re=467978]GeneralLerong[/re]: Yeah, I couldn’t believe they actually put that in there. Were there similar books in the 1990s where kids were told that the president was a bad man because he got blow jobs? I mean, there’s really no delicate way to explain that, either.
If you’re going to make a book for kids, it’s probably not a good idea to write it so they need to check a lot of footnotes. I’m no expert, but having been a kid at one time, I think that’s true.
Wow. That’s a caricature of SP by someone who LIKES her?
[re=467878]WarAndG[/re]: And the Dick in Dixie!
[re=468282]davitydave[/re]: correct spelling has a liberal bias.
You know who else used rats in their propaganda?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Eternal_Jew
[re=467945]yellowdogdem[/re]: Wouldn’t it be better to set up a soundboard or something, or maybe start playing some Toby Keith to give them a false sense of security, and then blast Will.i.am’s Yes We Can?
[re=468080]Mr Blifil[/re]: If I didn’t know better, I might think this was the “brainwashing” part of an indoctrination campaign.
Though now that I think about it, this book *does* make me want to wash my brain… with Clorox.
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