Dan Balz has written for the Washington Post for SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY YEARS and this is his greatest lede yet: “Sarah Palin may or may not run for president in 2012, but she is already the overwhelming favorite in the Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck primaries.” Meh, not enough Trig. [Washington Post]
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{ 71 comments }
Stop the presses, I want to get off.
The Post also notice that people are very much like human beings, and sometimes stuff happens.
It’s a good thing we have the Balz to point that out.
How is this “news”?
Well, we certainly needed a poll to show us this! What else are they going to tell us, “Obama popular among Democrats, unpopular among Republicans” or “People with the last name of “Balz” likely to be teased about similarity to “balls”?”
Dammit, Jim. We were doing so well this morning. But I admit holding off on a Palin story until 11:24 wasn’t bad…
I can’t wait to hear more about the minds of Limbaugh and Beck fans.
“Limbaugh and Beck fans unsure about whether light in refrigerator goes off when the door closes, say it’s obviously socialist”
“175% of Limbaugh and Beck fans demand law of gravity be repealed”
In an unrelated story, Beck and Libaugh fans also comprise the largest number of wankers who are to chicken to download teh pronz on the computer at the public library, but like the funny feeling in the goolies they get from looking at Snowbillie’s legs online.
This just in…
88.3% of turkey farmers think Palin should sit on their face.
Now that’s news!
His name is almost a complete sentence!
Also, this whole story would be much better if it included Space Orcs. That’s true of almost any snowbilly story. Also.
Well duh.
This is like those imaginary ledes from The Shipping News;
Women Talk of Rain
Phone Rings in Empty Room
89% of Palinites believe that Adam & Eve rode to church on the back of a dinosaur.
How did Palin, Beck or Limbaugh, (let alone all three!), become any one to be taken even with a shred of credibility or seriousness? Someone actually took the time to write that horseshit.
We’re doomed.
I smell Pulitzer!
Those are the primaries that require you to either consume a bottle of pain pills or run (full-speed and headfirst) into a steel girder before voting, right?
[re=467759]proudgrampa[/re]: I would have thought that the low threshold of newsworthiness, combined with a poorly-controlled news feed-to-post process, would have led to at least one or two items here about Michael Palin, palindromes, or paleontology.
In other news, Thomas the Train sets off my gaydar. Anybody else feel like this? Anybody?
Limbaugh does the anal during their M/F/M three-ways because Beck is a good Mormon.
The “buried lede” of this story is the byline — Dan Balz and Jon Cohen are a single Washington Post Staff Writer. Since they have no money, the Washington Post is now paying its writers in identities.
[re=467772]snideinplainsight[/re]: Schrodinger’s Cat Found Dead!
[re=467778]BeWoot[/re]: That’s Poolitzer.
I forget, what state(s) host(s) the Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck primaries?
He should be in the running for the Cokie Roberts award for stating the painfully obvious.
Actually, I’d be more shocked if polling found Bekc and Limbaugh’s fans to be well educated, intelligent and skinny.
This Just In: Deranged Crackers Agree About Stuff
For years conspiracy types warned that the HAARP project in Alaska was going to fuck up the world. And now there’s Sarah Palin. From Alaska. I’m just saying.
But how does she fare with people who eat deep fried turkey on Thanksgiving?
This just in: space is big.
Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades
[re=467776]freakishlystrong[/re]: As long as they keep driving the Republican Party further and further into crazyland and electoral irrelevance, it’s all good. What I find hilarious is that the wignuts now only love Palin, but think that she could win.
that’s 2 million people. Only 46 million more to go.
You laugh now, but wait until he breaks the story about fire being hot, and water being wet.
Since Palin is largely a creation of Beck and Limbaugh, this is not surprising.
He forgot to mention the percentage of those same people who still think Iraq had something to do with 911. Context please.
And yet both Beck and Limbaugh are too gross/functionally impaired/attracted-to-the-same-sex to ever have a chance to nail Palin. So there’s that.
4 out of 5 Repugs wash their Klan robes in Clorox.
[re=467800]JMP[/re]: Dubya won, TWICE.
[re=467801]bureaucrap[/re]: Wait until Bristol and Willow put up their website where they pose for photos re-creating the covers of Heart albums. That’ll be ten or twenty million right there. Then there will be Trig’s Playgirl spread . . .
86.3% of Beck and Limbaugh fans think Dan Balz is the star of a hi-larious new Fox reality program called “Ow! My Balz”.
[re=467809]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yeah, but the first time he ran as a “uniter” who was going to move beyond partisan politics and bring integrity to the White House (snicker). And the second time he ran against John Kerry.
They are trying to avoid saying Sarah Palin is popular with white people.
Retards of a feather…
[re=467800]JMP[/re]: What I find hilarious is that the wignuts now only love Palin, but think that she could win.
Just further proof a majority of these people are egocentric nutcases. “Because I like Snowbilly and all my (6)friends do and I/we are the important/knowledgable people in the country she must have an EXCELLENT chance of winning. In fact….it’s….it’s….preordained…..whatever that means…”
“Washington Post Recieves Massive Reaming Fron Syphilitic Pole”
Fixed
[re=467809]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yeah, but he had handlers from his dad’s days who were able to make him seem competent, along with a compliant media. Palin, on the other hand, is an overt idiot, and can’t erase her disastrous interviews from history.
[re=467789]forgracie[/re]: I think this puts him in the finals of the annual NoShitSherlock award. Also.
Further proof that Limbaugh and Beck listeners should not be included in the business of deciding important things, like who should be elected.
Remind me again, why are newspapers going broke? Content?
If this is journalism print is dead.
And there’s still some mystery about why newspapers are dying a quick death.
It took two writers and a polling analyst to write that? Clearly I’m in the wrong line of work.
New Post poll: Eighty-Six Percent of All Apes Enjoy Flinging Their Own Shit.
[re=467781]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: But, in any hook up, Beck spends all his time in the corner, flagellating himself over his inability to maintain an erection.
Oh, wait! This is really The Onion. Right?
This just in: black people are often good at basketball. Lindsay Lohan likes cocaine. Politico is a hateful cesspool. Piss flows downhill.
Unbelievably stinking piles of shit–again–from the Post. This is just absolutely crap, on every level–journalistically, politically, in terms of common sense, and in terms of intelligence. The Post should be ashamed of itself–and should take itself out of the bullshit “polling” business. It’s a bit of a surpise that Dan Balz is remotely attached to this stack of shit, but nothing much surprises people today when it comes to the Post. Unbelievably bad.
[re=467780]snideinplainsight[/re]: I have my own questions about Bob The Builder, actually.
This leaves a taint on Katharine Graham’s grave.
WaPo closed its bureaus because it’s “a city paper.” Apparently that city is Eye Socket, Mississippi.
[re=467788]Ronnie8[/re]: South Carolina
And, in other news, Jesse Helms, former North Carolina Senator, is still dead.
[re=467823]JMP[/re]: And then there’s the quitting her governership ’cause people were picking on her.
This just in from SNL: Generalismo Franco is still dead. Richard Nixon: “General Franco was a loyal friend and ally of the United States. He earned worldwide respect for Spain through firmness and fairness”
And Richard Nixon is dead. Also.
[re=467865]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: What happened to Tito?
[re=467757]the problem child[/re]: “news” == “requires no work to write”
where have you been the last 25 years? who are your people?
[re=467809]freakishlystrong[/re]: GWB won only once.
So here’s the critical question: What does that I-tye (the hairier of the two) on the SCOTUS think of shooting wolf-pups from a helicopter with an AK? In 300 words or less, please.
[re=467882]Jim89048[/re]: He retired after Michael left the group.
Well, considering Beck hates Palin now for stepping out of the kitchen or whatever, this actually might end up not only being totally obvious, but also half false.
Wait to go, print media.
…and Abe Vigoda is still alive
This story Sux Balz.
This is the type of analysis that we will have to do without when all the newspapers go out of business.
So, who’s winning the Lou Dobbs Primaries? American’s deserve to known!
[re=468552]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: Lou Dobbs, naturally.
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