Wonkette
The Trooper from America’s forgotten “Troopergate” scandal has a thing on the Internet today, for some reason. No one has cared about this person for over a year, so you can just imagine the overwrought similes he has saved up! “[Todd and Sarah] are like poisonous snakes in the grass who spew nothing but venom. They just lay in wait and they attack you until you’re dead.” Exactly. Wait, what? Anyway, let’s wait to see how this random human from Sarah Palin’s past finds a way to monetize that connection! Head towards the Internet, young man. [HuffPost]
They’re like dogs that shoot bees when they bark and then the bees sting you and it really hurts and you’re allergic to bees too
Wait, since when is the HuffPo hosted in your GMail account
Other people still displeased with Sarah P.
1) people with all their teeth (= librul Demoncraps)
2) Republicans running for office
3) Meg Stapleton (we can only assume)
4) anyone in Alaska
5) Levi
pampl: Just now! It is Arianna’s new Gmail vertical.
pampl: Yeah???
Super Trooper’s memes are gonna blind me.
I’ve always pictured Juli as a female, sexy Rikki-Tikki-Tavi !
Sarah Palin’s venom gun goes SPEW SPEW SPEW!
Oh goody, it’s a Wooten It. I love mysteries… Colonel Mustard in the dining room with a rusty hatchet, amirite?
shadowMark: Riki Tiki Tavi mongoose has gone…black face.
Palin contends “the chapter for our family was closed” with the divorce but fails to acknowledge any of the sustained harassment of Wooten, which, he says, continues to this day.
Sarah seems never to have seen a personal feud she wouldn’t jump right into — or create, if circumstances required. She’s the kinda person who would go out pre-dawn and move the rocks delineating the border with her neighbor’s yard over a foot. Once a month for a couple of years.
Oh, and her bus tour isn’t actually a bus tour. Well — the bus goes on the tour, definitely. Just Sarah can’t be bothered to travel with the roadies.
They just lay in wait and they attack you until you’re dead.
You could love Trooper Wooten for his hope-filled, optimistic worldview alone.
Why does Wonkette choose to participate in what is clearly a “news dump”? Revelations like Trooper Wooten’s are startling and a “game changer”! My all caps key is on the fritz or you would have surely felt my whole wrath, dear editor!!1!1
Amazing, you can fire tens of thousands of civilians without a reason, but one state trooper that gives you some back talk and it is red alert.
Sarah Shenanigans…
This story will be lost in the Black Hole Friday of journalistic, day-old turkey farts.
SayItWithWookies:
Yeah she gives me that kind of vibe too, like the neighbor who would spray round up on every vine of whatever plant you have growing on the fence that happens to stray over to their side, or poison cats with anti-freeze, or completely and utterly destroy a tree cause it suited them. She seems to be exactly that kind of person.
SayItWithWookies: When Mark Twain observed the orchards in Greece marked only with cairns, he mused as to how the average American would expand his holdings considerably the first night at the expense of a little manual effort. It’s the ‘Merican way!
“They just lay in wait and they attack you until you’re dead.” So they stop attacking when you’re dead. Just another example of Sarah being a quitter.
“[Todd and Sarah] are like poisonous snakes in the grass who spew nothing but venom.” What other kind of poisonous snakes do they have in Alaska? Is the Trouser Snake poisonous in Alaska?
There are no snakes in Alaska. Apart from Todd and Sarah, of course.
Seriously. No snakes.
So maybe Todd and Sarah are actually shit weasels? Fell ferrets?
Sarah, smile!
You know, I’m torn. On one account, Wooten is a known woman-beater, right? So, for whatever he receives, I chalk it up to karma, thank Vishnu. Still, it doesn’t make Sarah & Co. anymore attractive human beings.
I have a feeling that this guy is a gift which will keep on giving. He may get together with Levi, so they both can crap on Sarah whenever possible.
WadISay: “They just lay in wait and they attack you until you’re dead.
You could love Trooper Wooten for his hope-filled, optimistic worldview alone.”
GeneralLerong: No snakes in Hawaii, either.
And his grammar!
V572625694: The centipedes in Hawaii more than make up for the lack of venomous snakes. Total monsters.
I can’t bring myself to compare Sarah or Todd to a centipede, however. Just too over the top, they’re not evil enough. Didn’t C.S. Lewis reserve that transformation for the demon in the Screwtape Letters?
GeneralLerong:
Centipede on Maui, Hawaii
GeneralLerong: Small tayters Gen’ral. The Scorpions of the desert southwest make the centipedes of Hawaii look like lady bugs.Though he’s the martyr Trooper Wooten doesn’t seem like the sharpest knife in the draw. Super Troopers isn’t the proper reference, more like Reno 911. Didn’t he Tase his own kid or some such thing. And they think Reno is farce? HA!!!
SmutBoffin:
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