Stately, plump Tom DeLay unceremoniously took a sabbatical from Dance, Star, Dance! back when he hurt… his… clavicle (?). Anyway, for the season finale of the teevee show DeLay and the one they call “Cheryl” danced some more because of all the demand that they do exactly that. What will Tom DeLay do for attention now that television has also turned its sequinless, inelegant back on Dance? Worry not! He has that Millionare thing! And—fingers crossed!—Twitter, probably. He will probably also audition for Twitter. [YouTube]
BLACK FRIDAY
November 27, 2009
{ 54 comments }
Tom’s going to be a hit in El Paso Federal Prison.
Is “Texas Two Step” another word for violent diarrhea, or is it uncontrollable dysentery?
Either would be appropriate for Tom DeLay, one of the Top Ten People I would most like to see timetraveled back to a Lincoln Convertible in Dealey Plaza, 1963.
Big Sale on Belt Buckle Nutz.
Shouldn’t he be in jail by now? Or is dancing the new twinkies defense.
He’s just waiting for the return of the Right. If he hasn’t made too many enemies he’ll land some sinecure. Secretary of Offense in the Paliln/Bachmann administration?
There must be something wrong with my computer. All I saw was some chick and a dancing penis.
[re=467149]chascates[/re]: Ambassador to Dubai?
Usually his dancing gals wear their tassels higher up.
I hope he got new stress fractures in his hooves from that porcine exhibit of ass-shaking. And how did he get back on the damn show? And where’s Jeff Gillooly when you really need him?
Perhaps he could gain some notoriety by jumping from the top of Martello tower and surviving. Although hopefully he wouldn’t.
[re=467150]FMA[/re]: You saw right.
I guess a train wreck is only a train wreck if the people involved are willing to acknowledge that they have in fact been involved in a train wreck.
Why is that everything that is bad labeled “Black?”
Won’t that rat bastard be going to trial soon for some minor thing that will open up a 55 gallon oil drum of worms that will lead to him being forced to have buttseks with Tom Foley and the horse that used to dive from the tower in New Jersey?
Do they allow dancing between unmarried men in Texas prisons?
I’d like to see Tom Delay compete in a show hosted by Jigsaw the mischievous clown.
Did their dicks touch?
Blood shot from my eyes after viewing that. Thanks Wonkett.
[re=467157]rocktonsammy[/re]: Black Tar. Black Label. Black President. Black Taco.
I can see Tom Delay coming down the stairs, but I’m not sure he has anything else in common with Buck Mulligan.
While I lived in SF, there used to be a lot of “manly” cowboys in the “Castro Glutch.”
Dancing. Roping. “Shooting.”
“Quck draws,” a lot of them.
Of course, the ones who rode “bareback” are dead.
Sort of like I wish Ol’ Tom was . . . .
[re=467169]Neilist[/re]:OT: Are you the one who shot down today’s Daily Briefing? I coulda swore I saw it alive and kicking earlier this morning.
[re=467170]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Not me, Cave. There’s little meat in Daily Brief. And what there is has a musky, rancid smell that reminds one of the rotting carcases of . . . WOLVERINES!!!!!!
[Sorry. Just had to sneak that in.]
[re=467157]rocktonsammy[/re]: I don’t know–when I picture Bristol in sexy weekend wear it’s black stockings, black panties, black bra. I think many of the guys who like Levi picture him dressed in black stockings, black panties and a black bra, too. Black might not be the new black but it’s still kind of cool.
I think he should have picked her pocket during the act. That’s why you should hire actors to play historical figures.
As a service to the youth they should do dancing with famous historical figures. An actor playing Hitler could be paired with a hot Jewess who at the end of the number kicks him in the …
[re=467169]Neilist[/re]: Grew up a block away, on Collingwood. Back then we died of more natural causes, like drugs or Viet Nam. Good times.
I can’t wait to see the YouTube of him lap dancing on some 6’5″ heavily tatooed black dude with a do-rag, in prison.
[re=467146]memzilla[/re]: No, here we call it the shocker.
White Friday.
[re=467176]Jim89048[/re]: I started my martial arts “career” on Collingwood. (“Cat” Yamaguchi’s Goju studio right around the corner from the Castro.)
Before the neighborhood morphed into a DisneyLand of “cowboys,” Tom of Finland clones, and the odd disgusting crappy camera shop owner and future close range pistol tar . . . .
:::Whoops:::
Make that last: “Noble Political Martyr To The Cause of Individual Freedom.”
(The freedom to engage in Buttseks, that is.)
What odd traditions you US Mericans have. Someone should do an ethnocultural study of that audience, to find out if they are aware of well, anything.
So let me get this straight:
Tom “The Hammer” DeLay conceded, and then unconceded, DWTS… just like fellow conservatard Doug Hoffman did in his competition: http://wonkette.com/412392/sarah-palins-pet-wingnut-concedes-ny-congressional-race-again.
And we all missed this comparison? I blame the tryptophan. The white tryptophan.
Would be acceptable w/o audio. And video.
Stately, plump Tom Delay came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.
Thanks, Juli.
The dance in that video is to the Texas Two-Step as John McCain is to Jackie Onassis. Here’s how it’s done: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbGMoyqYSsg&feature=fvw.
[re=467183]Neilist[/re]: It was a good neighborhhood–Gerty Gurnsey’s Ice Cream parlor, Edna and Jerry’s toy store, the Twin Peaks Tavern…
Frankly, Stephen Hawking would look good dancing with “Cheryl”.
He could be roping, shooting, drinking, chawing, sod-busting, and poker-playing, but he’d still look like a bottom to most folks.
+5000 LitNerd pts for the Ulysses reference, though I’m guessing you didn’t get very far past the first page. DeLay is certainly the Buck Mulligan of TV Dance! But the Bella Cohen of politics.
[re=467169]Neilist[/re]: You are fucking scum. I hope your weapons rebel against you for using them in your masturbatory fantasies, you sick, pathetic tool. Also, Duboce Triangle is the shit.
“back when he hurt… his… clavicle (?)”
It was actually the twisted coccyx that did him in.
DeLay’s delays delay Delay.
[re=467234]Extemporanus[/re]: He was in a tailspin, a little sacral black and bleu.
Certainly Tom wants us to think of him as all Marlboro Man-like but my undying image of him is the John Goodman character in Arachnophobia. Of course I’ve tried to purge that whole adult diaper image from my brain-housing group.
[re=467224]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: “You are fucking scum.”
Aw, sucks, Ed. You say the nicest things. But I don’t think I’m your type.
:::Boyishly stubbing toe in dirt. Like a good Republican:::
More . . . milk?
[re=467234]Extemporanus[/re]: The twist is…. BreakBack…..He just can’t quit.
I wish I hadn’t seen that. Damned ineluctable modality of the visible.
I know a lot of fancy dancers
People who can glide you on a floor
They move so smooth but have no answers…
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7d388_cat-stevens-hard-headed-woman-live_music
[re=467259]Harry[/re]: Man, what a great songwriter Cat was, too bad he’s a FUCKING MUSLIN now!!!
[re=467254]Neilist[/re]:
Troll.
[re=467298]artbot2000[/re]: Nice to meet you, Troll. Have you met Ed?
Sometimes, there is no substitute for pure, unadulterated white trash stupid, and we have now seen it!
I was in Dallas once and ended up in this gay bar where all the men were dressed just like Tom Delay in this clip — but without a hint of irony or camp. It was just too weird, man.
The gays danced better, though.
Nice allusion.
I’m going to come out of the closet here: I’m a poor ballroom dancer and a hardcore Dancing with the Stars fan … and I am absolutely queer for Cheryl, o my lord. But even Cheryl could not dance well with Tom Delay. I don’t think it was because he was a shitty dancer–she’s been stuck with even worse dance partners on that show and still danced like the torridly graceful and lubricious sex kitten she so manifestly is. No, I think Tom Delay threw her off her game because he is such a shitty person.
Just to clarify: Cheryl is one hot babe and a great dancer; Tom Delay is reeking, steaming turd, and also can’t dance.
Is that Biden at 1:31 whistling for his motorcade??
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