Wonkette Gift Guide Preview: Obama Dildo!

by Ken Layne

Famous blue dildo.Unlike our amoral right-wing friends, here at Wonkette we don’t start the War on Xmas until after Thanksgiving (Cyber-Sex Thursday). But here’s a special preview of the kind of trash you can expect to find in our annual War on Xmas Gift Guide: Oh hey, it’s an Obama Dildo, so you can, uh, practice your love.

This “long-anticipated dildo” is, in fact, 7-1/2 inches long. Is this a prediction, somehow? Will Obama be forced from office just before his second term ends, because of some kind of dildo scandal?

More importantly, this Recession/Depression is now officially terrible, as the Obama Dildo has been marked down five bucks to $30. Order a bunch for your homophobic wingnut uncles today, and then … well, they will figure out the rest. [Alternative Tentacles via Wonkette Operative "Andrew L."]

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 53 comments }

Dashboard_Buddha November 25, 2009 at 12:04 pm

That is wrong on so many levels.

dum librul November 25, 2009 at 12:07 pm

It’s more fitting than I wish it were. No puns intended.

Car Ramrod November 25, 2009 at 12:09 pm

/yawn

Call me when the Palin Fleshlight is out.

WarAndG November 25, 2009 at 12:10 pm

This may be confusing for those who might already own the Blue Man Group 3 dildo set also known as the “shocker.”

Dashboard_Buddha November 25, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Now, maybe if they made one in the likeness of Rush Limbaugh. Two big advantages: He’s already a dick, and it would be the perfect size for middle aged Mormon women.

freakishlystrong November 25, 2009 at 12:14 pm

“long-anticipated dildo”? By whom? Fucking Michelle Malkin? FTW.

the problem child November 25, 2009 at 12:17 pm

I’d hit that.

JMP November 25, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Who is this even supposed to be for – people who like and are attracted to Obama, or those who hate him and want to say “ha ha, see he’s a dildo”.

[re=466362]freakishlystrong[/re]: Ugh, now I can’t get that hideous image out of my head. And yes, like with Palin the stupid, not to mention the self-hating racism, cancels out any physical attractiveness.

yargisbargis November 25, 2009 at 12:20 pm

[re=466362]freakishlystrong[/re]: It’s for those tea-baggers in the months when it’s too cold to do your teabagging outside.

RoscoePColtraine November 25, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Yawn. Let me know when they create the “Honest Abe dildo.” The ridge on that top hat would snag all the right places.

freakishlystrong November 25, 2009 at 12:20 pm

I hotly anticipate the Wonkett gift guide.

Humpback November 25, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Whew! I don’t care what this thread is about. I’m just happy to have escaped from that last thread’s pity party.

Oh, now I see. Presidential dildos. How refreshing.

Paul Tardy November 25, 2009 at 12:21 pm

In all fairness he tried, but we failed him, support for the war never fell to 0.0%. Anyway at least he pulled out of Iraq like he promised.

SayItWithWookies November 25, 2009 at 12:21 pm

The Obama Dildo: It doesn’t pull out, either.

slappypaddy November 25, 2009 at 12:23 pm

what, no french tickler?

dum librul November 25, 2009 at 12:24 pm

It really looks like Easter Island’s version of Obama.

Humpback November 25, 2009 at 12:26 pm

[re=466365]JMP[/re]: Now that I look closer, I see he has a lapel flag pin. So I guess it’s pro-Obama.

Dashboard_Buddha November 25, 2009 at 12:26 pm

[re=466375]dum librul[/re]: LOL

Chickensmack November 25, 2009 at 12:27 pm

from the Reviews section of the page:

“I can stimulate the economy and myself!”

“If we’re gonna get screwed by the government, at least we can enjoy it!” — Loni Love, “Chelsea Lately” TV show

but the best part is that this fake dick is made in the U S A!

tbogg November 25, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Does it come in black?

Anonymous Office Zombie November 25, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Looks like one of those Easter Island statues.

teebob2000 November 25, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Well, fuck me! Ouch — figure of speech!!!

CrunchyKnee November 25, 2009 at 12:29 pm

As long as it is “Democratic BLUE!” I can deal.

Alaska Girl November 25, 2009 at 12:31 pm

[re=466361]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: No, no, the Limbaugh model is, appropriately, a butt plug.

JMP November 25, 2009 at 12:31 pm

[re=466370]Humpback[/re]: “I’m just happy to have escaped from that last thread’s pity party.”

See, that’s what happens when you go three and a half hours – that’s THREE AND A HALF HOURS, ALAN – without a post while most people are at work. People get all ranty & serious ‘n stuff.

bbqboy November 25, 2009 at 12:32 pm

I sincerely hope this isn’t a precursor to the John Boehner boner.

Accordion-o-rama November 25, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Nicer that the Sarah Palin one, which has fangs.

Servo November 25, 2009 at 12:32 pm

[re=466380]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]:
Or a piece from a chess set.

taylormattd November 25, 2009 at 12:34 pm

[re=466379]tbogg[/re]: That would be totally RACIST.

depraved indifference engine November 25, 2009 at 12:36 pm
bitchincamaro November 25, 2009 at 12:45 pm

Great. Something for the blue dog dems on my list.

Sharkey November 25, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Lovingly hand carved from the finest blue plastic tree trucks.

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 25, 2009 at 12:49 pm

So, Obama’s penis looks just like him?

Dashboard_Buddha November 25, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=466415]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Interestingly enough, yes. Michelle calls it “Little Barry”.

Norbert November 25, 2009 at 1:00 pm

Attach a pair of Red Trucknutz and you’ve got an allegorical sculpture of the country.

eclecticbrotha November 25, 2009 at 1:07 pm

Only 7 1/2 inches? They seem to be selling Obama short.

On the real, this is the perfect gift for all those tea bagging females who harbor Mandingo fantasies. Now they can literally shove a black man’s head in every orifice. Also.

blather.rinse.repeat November 25, 2009 at 1:10 pm

“Who is this even supposed to be for?”

For the hard-to-shop-for Log Cabin Repubs and Republican Senators. Or is that redundant?

magic titty November 25, 2009 at 1:12 pm

[re=466372]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The Obama Dildo: also made in Kenya.

ella November 25, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Mom always said once I’ve had a blue dildo I’ll never go back.

QuestionEvil November 25, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Big change is cumming….

Click November 25, 2009 at 1:47 pm

SEVEN AND A HALF INCHES is hardly what I’d call a great stimulus package.

Click November 25, 2009 at 1:48 pm

[re=466430]Norbert[/re]: Where’s the white cunts?

Cheney Guevara November 25, 2009 at 2:02 pm

[re=466496]Click[/re]:

Despite Paul Krugman’s protestations to the contrary, more important than how MUCH stimulus we provide is how that stimulus is used.

JMP November 25, 2009 at 2:12 pm

[re=466522]Cheney Guevara[/re]: That’s just something folks who know the stimulus is too small claim to make themselves feel better about the inadequacy.

Extemporanus November 25, 2009 at 2:17 pm

[re=466359]Car Ramrod[/re]: A quick check of her schedule shows that the Sarah Palin Fleshlight will be back out on December 3, at Sam’s Club in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

She apparently needed some time to recharge.

Click November 25, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=466537]JMP[/re]: Also, having a fat wallet makes a dick appear bigger.

Extemporanus November 25, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Those looking for more pious plyers of personal pink parts are strongly encouraged to visit Divine Interventions.

I think it’s safe for work, if only because I can’t imagine anyone’s boss walking by, seeing a bright blue rubber baby Jesus, and immediately thinking “Buttplug?! You’re fired!”

Mr Blifil November 25, 2009 at 2:29 pm

The Hope Dildo?

joeybrill November 25, 2009 at 2:58 pm

[re=466450]blather.rinse.repeat[/re]: For them, it’s merely a hotdog tossed down the hallway.

Barrelhse November 25, 2009 at 6:51 pm

[re=466361]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: And small cattle.

Bearbloke November 25, 2009 at 7:53 pm

[re=466359]Car Ramrod[/re]: Which Plain Fleshlight? The Arse-to-Mouth model or Silly Cunt model?

Click November 26, 2009 at 1:28 am

You know my gay buddy got one of those things and he re-gifted it to me.
It turned out to be a really shitty present.

maylee1985 December 15, 2009 at 9:46 am

Here is a site where you can comparison shop for the Obama Dildo. I’m not sure I would be able to get off using it, but for some of you hardcore obama fans out there maybe? :)

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