Wonkette
Doug Hoffman, the wingnut geek who forced the Republican out of New York’s 23rd congressional district special election but then lost that election to the Democrat and then proceeded to concede and later unconcede, finally admitted defeat (again) today, which caused the spontaneous pregnancy of Sarah Palin (again) and the immediate sale of 1 gazillion copies of Palin’s book, I’m Awesome.
Hoffman says he doesn’t have the votes to make a recount worthwhile, which is pretty much what people on Earth believe, too, as Democrat Bill Owens not only won the race but was sworn in three weeks ago, and is currently the Congressman in Congress, in Washington. [WPTZ/AP]
He literally lost by the skin of his teeth.
Talk about efficiency — this man managed to lose twice in one race. With a record like that, he should be president of everything!
ACORN!!!!11
Obviously Acorn has gotten to Hoffman.
Extemporanus: AAAAAAAAA grossgrossgross. Cannot unsee.
Teeth the color of urine…check. An E-T proportioned forehead…check. A lazy eye…check. Elven ears…check. I have heard of good looking for Washington. This dude would’ve been ugly for Washington. I don’t think even Lindsey would hit that.
So does this make him a born-again loser or a lose-again birther?
Extemporanus: It rubs the toothpaste on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!
Judas Peckerwood:
Both.
New wingnut meme: hugging makes baby jesus cry…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/24/the-side-hug-youth-group_n_369651.html
Hoffman was the REAL DEAL. So sad. So so sad.
So why does POTUS BHO needed to escalate in Afghanistan if the Ds can win safe republican seats, and the war is getting more unpopular. Tuesday POTUS will give the clear rational.
He was for loosing before he was against it.
I pray he gets his teeth fixed before making another public appearance. That foto is totally vile and disgusting. Says something about RNC handlers as well, eh?
Hoffman quit the election the first time he conceded, then quit the quit when he unconceded, and now he has quit the quit quit. No wonder Sarah can relate to this guy. He could teach even her a few things about being professional quitter.
RINO - Reality in Name Only.
Next time up, he’ll run against a dead man.
And lose.
Judas Peckerwood: He’s Jame Gumb, aka Buffalo Bill.
Only he doesn’t have gums, and he doesn’t live in Buffalo: two leading reasons why he needed to re-conceed his unconceeded concession.
bitchincamaro: It worked for Ashcroft.
Extemporanus: Eewwwwww!
Extemporanus: Palin found him quite toothsome.
Extemporanus: You’d think he could have at least shaved it.
If there ever was a need to use the teeth-whitening tool in Photoshop…
AnnieGetYourFun: I believe that photo was actually taken mid-Brazilian.
Well, at least we know who’ll play Milhouse Van Houten in the live-action Simpsons movie.
up_yer_snufflegus: Skippy made his teeth a lighter shade of FAIL in the last Hoffman thread.
Pop a few zits, as well.
Palin/Yellow Fang 2012!
Scuzzlebutt!
Since I’m Awesome was unveiled (I think that’s more appropriate than “published”), I’ve been to bookstores here in Red Arizona twice. Both of them (and Costco, come to think of it) had huge piles right at the front door, but I didn’t see anyone even looking, let alone buying. It’s like the teen movie phenomenon. Everyone who’s interested spends their money on opening night. When Hoffman sells his story, let’s hope his publisher doesn’t spring for photos.
Extemporanus: In looking for Skippy’s photo links in the last Hoffman thread, I noticed that The Huffington Pogue was first with a dentidermis comment:
“When asked about his potential margin of victory, Mr. Hoffman cited his campaign song: “The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth.””
Going forward, kindly direct all retching in The HuffPogue’s general direction.
Extemporanus: Huh, that actually made my teeth hurt.
We need to get Beck out there to get him to un-concede his previous concessions. Then a corp of teatards to protect him from teh acornz forcing him to concede again.
The color in the catalogue is actually Teabagger Yellow.
D’ya think maybe someone explained to him, in words of one syllable, that unconceding while talking to a loony radio host doesn’t actually legally count as filing a challenge to the count?
What state can he carpetbag to next? Certainly, this toothy old sop is a good fit for SOME Congressional district. Preferably one with a love for solid American values, like eating raw meat without utencils.
Extemporanus: Is it too late for that to be today’s winner?
I see that picture, I think of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRFKvSrmX-M
I’m pretty sure Hoffman is from the same clonebank as Malcolm Stevenson “Steve” Forbes, Jr..
The clone arrangers there just cannot, for all their dark science, perfect normal human blinking. Keep trying guys! Maybe you need more pentagrams?
Every day is Groundhog Day for Guffman.
DickTaterPeeNoShay: WIN!!!1!!!!11!
Oh my God, Ken Layne is back from his hike in the appalachian trail. How did I miss this momentous news? Also why isn’t there a siren for Barry’s first state dinner. Michelle looks stunning for those of you who give a fuck.
Dreamer: And they are serving arugula salad! That alone deserves a drudge siren.
It’s those frameless glasses that allow the Palinistas to see the world so clearly.
He needs to take a lesson from the Muskrat in Colorado….
You don’t EVER fucking concede!!
This guy makes Randy Newman look hot.
Did ya notice that his teeth look like the teeth in the “mom discovers secret teeth whitening process”?
Can we use this same strategy in Afghanistan?
Concede that the Taliban kicked our ass. Then, a week later, unconcede, and nuke the entire country.
Several thousand square miles of sandy green-glass “Trinite,” interlaced with the half-baked, but highly irradiated, corpses of the odd camel and occasional Afghani.
Then, while the place is still glowing, concede again. (Since “they beat us,” we don’t have to pay to “re-build” what wasn’t there in first place.)
And spend the next 20 years making Chuck Norris-type movies about how We Really Could Have Won, But For The Goddamn Communists Who Hate America And Post On Wonkette.
(Damnit. I think I just wrote the GOP’s 2016 platform statement.)
DickTaterPeeNoShay: Nickname verbalization FTW!
OffTheRecord: and the first lady bared her arms. I think that would be the new shining object for the villagers, at least for the rest of the week.
Since the Republicans have become so moderate I guess the future lies in the Conservative, Independent, and Libertarian parties. And I’m hoping there will be at least 6 different wingnut parties in 2012.
Shorter Doug Hoffman: Let the reign of murderdom begin afresh.
I bet all the bullies who used to beat up Doug Hoffman in the sixth grade are laughing their asses off now that the entire neighboring congressional district beat up Doug Hoffman–twice–and shoved him in a locker with a wedgie up to his armpits.
Hard as it is to believe, video of this guy look even MORE like taxidermy than a photo does … Ozzy Osbourne would pay good money to be that creepy again.
After going over these comments, I ran to the bathroom and scrubbed my teeth with bleach and a toilet brush, BUT THEY’RE STILL NOT CLEAN ENOUGH.
Granny Palin should have paid to have Hoffman’s ugly teeth fixed instead of wasting her money on his loser campaign.
Is ACORN invincible or what?
I can’t help but feel sorry for this schmuck.
Oh, so *that’s* what happens to people who think floridated water is a communist plot! I’d always wondered.
Palin’s dumped this wingnut for conceding.
He is a quitter, and Sarah is not a quitter.
Except when it comes to Alaska.
If this guy had won, we’d all be subjected to a “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” narrative in the conservative media, about this grassroots accountant who went to Washington and found a budget deficit or something. Yuk.
Now at least he can engage in his own private narrative about finally wearing panties.
I got a twenty sez he still goes by “Dougie.“
Is it just me or is this guy not a ringer for “Where’s Waldo”?
Hoffman,
So now will Palin be able to give her concession speech?
All snark aside I find this man’s looks to be quite unnerving.
Yup, nothing says political acumen like Brit teeth, canned tan and a total lack of any math skills whatsoever.
I always wondered what it would look like in real life when a human morphed into a donkey, a la Pinocchio.
Larry McAwful: actually, it was the 5th grade and we thought we were doing God’s work by taking his lunch money.