Louisiana sex creep David “Diaperman” Vitter is known for one thing, and one thing only: Hiring hookers and then making those hookers put adult diapers on him, so he can poop in the diapers, for sex kicks. He has been caught employing prostitutes at least twice, in New Orleans and in Washington DC — his number found in the client phone records of the since-suicided “DC Madam,” in the latter case. He is a gross scumbag and a human joke, and guess where serious Congressional Journalistic Institution Roll Call found him fondling ladies’ lingerie and looking “a bit lost,” because he was about to spurt/poop?
(We are sorry about the imagery in this post, already. Sorry!)
Here, the official gossip from Roll Call:
Just hours before casting his health care vote, the sex-scandal-scarred Louisiana Republican looked “a bit lost” amid the ladies’ unmentionables, our spy said. Our witty, bargain-seeking HOH tipster mused on a few reasons that the Senator might be there.
“Is he looking for some ‘extra support’ for tonight’s big health care floor vote or is he up to his old habits?” the spy wondered.
Look, even a criminal douche like David Diaperman Vitter must occasionally feel a vague “emotion” in some ways similar to our human sense of shame, and maybe he just can’t get off these days by having a hooker dress him up like an infant so he can shit in a Depends. Maybe this dingleberry thinks his pathetic attempts to act like Mr. Conservative Firebrand will be more “real” if he could somehow stop his crippling addiction to poo play.
And maybe this is why he now wants to defecate and jack off in ladies thongs … oh god this is too gross, sorry again. All finished here, with this David Vitter post. Happy, er, thanksgiving or whatever, the end. [Roll Call]