REVENGE OF DIAPERMAN  4:26 pm November 24, 2009

David Vitter Now Pooping In Ladies’ Underwear

by Ken Layne

That'll be $500, Senator Vitter.Louisiana sex creep David “Diaperman” Vitter is known for one thing, and one thing only: Hiring hookers and then making those hookers put adult diapers on him, so he can poop in the diapers, for sex kicks. He has been caught employing prostitutes at least twice, in New Orleans and in Washington DC — his number found in the client phone records of the since-suicided “DC Madam,” in the latter case. He is a gross scumbag and a human joke, and guess where serious Congressional Journalistic Institution Roll Call found him fondling ladies’ lingerie and looking “a bit lost,” because he was about to spurt/poop?

(We are sorry about the imagery in this post, already. Sorry!)

Here, the official gossip from Roll Call:

Just hours before casting his health care vote, the sex-scandal-scarred Louisiana Republican looked “a bit lost” amid the ladies’ unmentionables, our spy said. Our witty, bargain-seeking HOH tipster mused on a few reasons that the Senator might be there.

“Is he looking for some ‘extra support’ for tonight’s big health care floor vote or is he up to his old habits?” the spy wondered.

Look, even a criminal douche like David Diaperman Vitter must occasionally feel a vague “emotion” in some ways similar to our human sense of shame, and maybe he just can’t get off these days by having a hooker dress him up like an infant so he can shit in a Depends. Maybe this dingleberry thinks his pathetic attempts to act like Mr. Conservative Firebrand will be more “real” if he could somehow stop his crippling addiction to poo play.

And maybe this is why he now wants to defecate and jack off in ladies thongs … oh god this is too gross, sorry again. All finished here, with this David Vitter post. Happy, er, thanksgiving or whatever, the end. [Roll Call]

 
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{ 72 comments }

WarAndG November 24, 2009 at 4:28 pm

The tautologically correct term is “blow mud”

ManchuCandidate November 24, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Aw come on! He just wanted some pampering.

WarAndG November 24, 2009 at 4:32 pm

or “scatologically” correct term (screw you spell checker)

Radiotherapy November 24, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Purity Tests and Party Cleansing have a whole new meaning with this shameless shitbag.

Gregoire November 24, 2009 at 4:40 pm

“Is he looking for some ‘extra support’ for tonight’s big health care floor vote or is he up to his old habits?”

Answer: Depends!

SayItWithWookies November 24, 2009 at 4:40 pm

I, for one, find it refreshing that Senator Vitter doesn’t treat himself any differently than he treats his constituents. He can shit all over the people of Louisiana with a clear conscience.

TastyCakes November 24, 2009 at 4:40 pm

He’s dreaming if he thinks a thong could ever accommodate his leavings after 3 helpings of momma’s gumbo.

V572625694 November 24, 2009 at 4:41 pm

Shame died some years ago–you’d have to give Bill Clinton credit for the throat shot, with all his blowjobs and tobacco play. Or maybe Kevin Starr. Now former congresscritter and current jailbird Randy “Duke” Cunningham could claim with a straight face that a defense contractor bought his home district house at twice the market value because the Navy wanted to use it for aircraft tracking. Ensign’s parents, fer chrissake, buy off his lover’s husband with “gifts” that strain the definition of charity but fit quite neatly under the term “bribe.”

DP November 24, 2009 at 4:41 pm

How fucking grateful am I that I never got caught shitting in a diaper(as an adult, anyway)? Also.

Johnny Zhivago November 24, 2009 at 4:42 pm

It’s probably appropriate that the state where New Orleans is located would be represented by a diaper pervert and a pork whore.

shadowMark November 24, 2009 at 4:42 pm

“Is a sociopath sane?” legislative aide John Bitney, on his former boss, Sarah Palin

Will there ever be a thread about any Republican where that quote wouldn’t fit?

bureaucrap November 24, 2009 at 4:43 pm

Perhaps he was going to use the panties to illustrate a point during floor debate: “Health Care will be making a Panty Raid on the US Treasury!” Cicero couldn’t have said it better.

Suds McKenzie November 24, 2009 at 4:45 pm

[re=465942]V572625694[/re]: maybe he just forgot his Victoria’s Secret password.

Come here a minute November 24, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Oh dear, I hope somebody gets mental health assistance for this poor hooker, Filene.

Decker November 24, 2009 at 4:49 pm

[re=465943]DP[/re]: C’mon. I’m sure McCain and Byrd have filled their diapers many times. Maybe even on the Senate floor!

Monsieur Grumpe November 24, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Vitter in a Victoria’s Secret?
I would have thought him more of an Ann Taylor kind of a guy.

Humpback November 24, 2009 at 4:50 pm

If it’s not one thong, it’s another.

Scarab November 24, 2009 at 4:52 pm

What can ‘brown’ do for you?

rottenart November 24, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Are there people who buy unmentionables from a place called Filene’s Basement? Besides the aforementioned Sen. Shitter, I mean. I think that takes ironic store names just too damn far.

chaste everywhere November 24, 2009 at 4:54 pm

[re=465945]shadowMark[/re]: And yet, ’twas a Republican his bad self who popped the ultimate rhetorical question!

chascates November 24, 2009 at 4:55 pm

If I have to think about this I’ll imagine Sarah Palin wiping his ass and handing it to Michele Bachmann, who is smacking her lips.

the problem child November 24, 2009 at 4:58 pm

A thong would hardly do for poo-play. Perhaps he was looking for the granny panties. I’m sure Filene’s has those in his size, with or without the bulk of an additional *ahem* layer.

hillarys_left_nut November 24, 2009 at 5:03 pm

IIRC, quite convenient (as in, adjacent) to the Mayflower Hotel, though I’m not a local….

MARCdMan November 24, 2009 at 5:05 pm

And he’s going to be reelected with probably 70% of the vote because the best the democrats can find to run against him is a former porn star. What a fucked up country.

Jumping Jim November 24, 2009 at 5:07 pm

#6 Republican Purity Test – the ability to wear adult diapers with pride as Ronamd Reagun did in the last few years of life.

Vitter only needs to pass 9 more.

PrairiePossum November 24, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Somehow the thought of him standing on the Senate floor whining about traditional conservative family values while wearing a fresh pair of lacy pink thong panties seems so appropriate for this hypocrite.

Jukesgrrl November 24, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Filene’s Basement is a discount store on the order of Marshall’s or TJ Maxx. Had he been shopping at Victoria’s Secret I would wonder, but the discount store component leads me to believe he was shopping for that pathetic wife he’s probably still trying to win back (half-heartedly). In my book, a discount store would be reason enough to dump him, regardless of the other stuff.

chascates November 24, 2009 at 5:10 pm

[re=465971]MARCdMan[/re]: The Louisiana folk figure his ‘mistakes’ were with a paid prostitute so it’s not like he was cheating with another woman. Such is the logic.

bitchincamaro November 24, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Marv Albert is lookin normal-er all the time.

V572625694 November 24, 2009 at 5:12 pm

[re=465949]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Ha ha! Nice to be read. I think of my comments here as my oeuvre or festschrift.

teebob2000 November 24, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Pooping in ladies’ underwear — the clothing item? — or Ladies’ Underwear — the section of the store?

V572625694 November 24, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=465974]Jukesgrrl[/re]: nancymeyer.com is where the elite go to find their La Perla discretely. Plus: nipples!

Bearbloke November 24, 2009 at 5:16 pm

[re=465943]DP[/re]: It’s never too late, mate!

[re=465957]rottenart[/re]: Filene’s Basement sound like on of those ‘specialty’ stores that carry size 13 Wide Stilettos, for the … ahem… larger “women” who are 71% of their clients… right behind the Gillette disposables and Extra Strength “Made for a Woman, but I like it too” deodorants…

Gorillionaire November 24, 2009 at 5:24 pm

If Stormy Daniels can’t win against this creep, then you’ve had it, America!

thesheriffisnear November 24, 2009 at 5:38 pm

That’s just nasty

slappypaddy November 24, 2009 at 5:39 pm

if the end is near it needs to hurry, 2012 is going to be too late

Jim89048 November 24, 2009 at 5:49 pm

[re=465980]V572625694[/re]: DAMN it, you made me look.

rottenart November 24, 2009 at 5:52 pm

[re=465974]Jukesgrrl[/re]: [re=465981]Bearbloke[/re]: I guess if the purpose is to shit in them, bulk discount would be a plus.

Harvey Birdman November 24, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Jesus Christ, it’s good to have Ken back. There’s only so much bile I can sublimate into snark.

Larry McAwful November 24, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Nice photo, Ken. Been cruising the White House feed again?

Accordion-o-rama November 24, 2009 at 5:57 pm

You’d think this was a right-wing blog for all the hatin’ on the browns.

Accordion-o-rama November 24, 2009 at 6:00 pm

[re=465957]rottenart[/re]: Filine’s Basement: where the elite meet to excrete.

Extemporanus November 24, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Vitter’s a malingering right winger into lingering lingerie fingering?

ummm November 24, 2009 at 6:03 pm

why didn’t he get them online?

Larry McAwful November 24, 2009 at 6:04 pm

[re=466005]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: I’m a Steelers fan, myself. It’s an old rivalry. That’s just how it is.

Mr Blifil November 24, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Fortunately, satin comes in brown.

rottenart November 24, 2009 at 6:09 pm

[re=466006]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Filine’s Basement: where the effete meet to excrete.

Fixed it for ya.

rottenart November 24, 2009 at 6:10 pm

[re=466007]Extemporanus[/re]: That was quite the zinger.

Jim89048 November 24, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=465999]Harvey Birdman[/re]: And this overnight thread is proof of how much he loves us, too.

Extemporanus November 24, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=466006]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Not to be confused with Filene’s Debasement, where the hoi polloi enjoy boy toys.

WideStance November 24, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[H]is number found in the client phone records of the since-suicided “DC Madam” . . .

Suicide should also be in quotes.

Bearbloke November 24, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Regarding this Vitter story – has anyone yet discovered who these ladies are whose underwear Vitter is shitting into, and how they both fit into the same garment at the same time?

rottenart November 24, 2009 at 6:24 pm

[re=466020]Extemporanus[/re]: Where Larry Craig begs for smeg on his leg?

Jim89048 November 24, 2009 at 6:25 pm

[re=466022]WideStance[/re]: Yeah, about as believable as this guy’s “suicide”…

bitchincamaro November 24, 2009 at 6:49 pm

[re=466034]Jim89048[/re]: Since you brought it up.

taylormattd November 24, 2009 at 6:55 pm

[re=465953]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: You are both incorrect: he’s a Lane Bryant gal.

Extemporanus November 24, 2009 at 7:12 pm

[re=466030]rottenart[/re]: Or toe-taps and slow-faps his pole flaps while a bro craps through the door gaps all over his big ol’ dunlap.

rottenart November 24, 2009 at 7:48 pm

[re=466056]Extemporanus[/re]: Holy Moly! If only Mark Foley could slowly roll-y his lonely, bony baloney into his phoney crony, we’d have a list for a tryst betwixt these pricks, Crist and a fist!

Dean Booth November 24, 2009 at 8:02 pm

The Vitter episode: The only time that a woman has ever succeeded in changing a man.*

*Today’s cryptoquote solution, btw.

iburl November 24, 2009 at 8:40 pm

Only a state as racist, drunken and depraved as Louisiana could allow this shitbag to keep representing them. Bon Ton Roulet, bitches.

Extemporanus November 24, 2009 at 8:55 pm

[re=466071]rottenart[/re]: Ohhh, Billy!

Decker November 24, 2009 at 10:14 pm

[re=465986]Gorillionaire[/re]: How pissed would Palin be if Stormy Daniels wins?

artbot2000 November 24, 2009 at 11:12 pm

The big unanswered question regarding Senator Poo Poo is, who PAID? Can Vitter PROVE that he paid for diaper service out of his own savings, or did he use public money, in the classic Louisiana style? Stormy Daniels beating this closet Socialist would be a triumph for Free Enterprise and the American Way. There is no free (hot) lunch!

rottenart November 24, 2009 at 11:20 pm

[re=466082]Extemporanus[/re]: Ride the pony…

LowerdPeninsula November 25, 2009 at 2:09 am

I am so nauseous reading this thread….

Babs_Johnson November 25, 2009 at 8:32 am

David Vitter has some vague hint of a sense of shame? Won’t that disqualify him as a Republican?

mardam422 November 25, 2009 at 9:57 am

[re=465938]Gregoire[/re]: That’s just wrong…but oh, so so right.

Mr Blifil November 25, 2009 at 11:16 am

[re=465944]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Pork whore? I barely knew whore.

S.Luggo November 25, 2009 at 1:43 pm

It’s not so much a lingerie department as it is a way of life.

alkybookworm November 25, 2009 at 3:03 pm

“The honorable gentleman will now produce a brownie in his silks…”

My ghod, I am so frightened that this fudgeie may actually get another term!

cenghan November 29, 2009 at 6:39 am

The big unanswered question regarding Senator Poo Poo is, who PAID? Can Vitter PROVE that he paid for film izle diaper service out of his own savings, or did he use public film izle money, in the classic Louisiana style? Stormy Daniels beating this closet Socialist would be a triumph for Free Enterprise and the American Way. There is no free (hot) lunch

zehirliii April 26, 2010 at 4:09 pm

bfngfjgjm

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