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Washington Post Pundit Contest Winner Has All Kinds Of New Perspectives On Things!

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Hey meet the winner of the Washington Post‘s pundit match: “Kevin”! He appears to be nothing more than a composite of all preexisting Washington Post op-ed writers, yet somehow even whiter. Synergy! [Washington Post]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    I guess my editorial, “Run Dog Run,” was an utter failure. I even fashioned after Sarah Palin’s voice.


  • Hedley Lamar

    I’m sure that wearing women’s clothing and a Bill Kristol mask helped seal the deal.

  • Extemporanus

    Huffman Post?

    Zsa Zsa ain’t gonna like this.

  • magic titty

    They picked the most harmless looking/sounding/seeming/balding white guy they could find, eh? Shocking.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=465815]Hedley Lamar[/re]: Good point.

    <—- Huffmanpost looks pretty pundit-y in his other promo pic.

  • SayItWithWookies

    A nice, inoffensive liberal garnish for the crazy steak of Krauthammer and Kristol — just the thing for the Post to pretend it’s balanced again.

  • JMP

    Hey look it’s a white guy! ‘Bout time the Post brought the neglected white dude perspective to its editorial pages; if only they could have found one over 70 it really would have gone against the grain.

  • Suds McKenzie

    wow, and he showed up at the WA Post at such a perfect time, excelsior!

  • snideinplainsight

    See you’re missing the story here. “Let’s cane Andrei Aggasi”? He’s not the token white guy, he’s the token gay-ish guy.

  • snideinplainsight

    He’s not going to talk about equal rights or the definition of marriage or anything a person engaged with real gay issues would, but he can make cheeky commentary on news items like “counterfeit condoms in Hunan province” and Mr. Hiatt can feel good about his paper’s diversityness.

  • Cape Clod

    Pleeease! Now fire Richard Cohen.

  • JMP

    [re=465848]snideinplainsight[/re]: I thought that was already George Will of the bow ties?

  • snideinplainsight

    “Final thoughts by Fred Hiatt”? We should really be so lucky!

  • FlownOver

    I demand a recount! Wait, no I don’t! Well, maybe I do! Or not!

  • norbizness

    He looks like a graduate of the Alan Colmes School Of Cowering And Yelling ‘Not in the Face’

  • Elephants Gerald

    [re=465827]JMP[/re]: He may be a plant – a member of Keepers of the Eternal and Victorious Islamic Nation (KEVIN)? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

  • BlueStateLibtard

    Laugh it up, libtards, this gentleman has penned the most elegant, persuasive discourse I have been privelaged to read in quite a while: “I was on Facebook the other day, yukking it up about the lamestream media and seeing which of my friends had procreated, when I came across Sarah Palin ruminating on the recent reports on mammograms and Pap smears.”

  • ManchuCandidate


    His punditry reminded me of the style of a less feeble Dicky Cohen. I don’t even get what his fucking point was.

  • snideinplainsight

    Excuse me for feeling a little cheated, but I don’t feel like “Let’s cane Andre Agassi” is an effective counterbalance for Gerson, Krauthhammer, George Will, Kristol, Cohen, Mallaby, Diehl, Kinsley, Parker Broder Samuelson…

  • Come here a minute

    I read the news today oh boy
    About a lucky man who made the grade

  • Car Ramrod

    Congratulations, Kevin. At the end of your three months, remember to turn off the lights and lock the door.

  • norbizness

    “From the SFW Files: Shitty Employer Hires Shithead Employee”

  • coolcatdaddy

    In the words of a Hollywood producer … “Yeah … gimme something like we already done. Only different…”

  • Mara47

    Don’t blame me. I voted for the chick.

  • Fuck Toad

    “I was [idle consumption of media] the other day when I came across [recent statement by bete noire]” followed by a quote. That’s writing straight out of the college newspaper op-ed stylebook. I am myself prone to lazy writing, but I’d stop short of using the journalistic equivalent of “what is the DEAL with AIRPLANE FOOD?” in an attempt to win a job at one of the country’s newspapers of record.

    The very concept of voting for an opinion columnist is faintly hilarious. Wasn’t there a time when newspapers claimed to prize unconventional and out-of-the-mainstream thinkers?

    I don’t really care for snark in newspapers. It leads to Maureen Dowd and lazy writing. But if the WaPo is looking for snark, they might have tried to poach some Wonketteers. Is there anything this wang has ever written that matches, say, “Not content with hating, on principle, the executive and legislative branches of government, conservatives now find America’s court system not to their taste either really.”?

  • gurukalehuru

    Good gravy, he actually referred to Sarah Palin as “the leading conserative intellect.” Not a. The.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    I’m guessing he’s going to be writing about Wonder Bread, Snow, Newt Gingrich’s ass and other really white stuff.

  • Decker

    I don’t know which I find more objectionable: “keen political observations” or “the world of punditry.” It’s like choosing between Huckabee or Palin.

  • WarAndG

    He’s used “cognitive dissonance.” I’m 110% sure I will never read his column again.

  • rottenart

    I dunno, he seems to combine the pastiness of Gerson, the hair of Brooks and the wispy neck beard of Douchehat. He’ll go far, I tells ya. Were we supposed to talk about his writing?

  • Uncle Glenny

    Let’s start a pool on how long it takes for him to get Greenwalded.

  • GeneralLerong

    Maybe Taibbi should include pundits in his analysis as well as reporters?

    “Your average political reporter is a spineless dweeb who went to all the best schools and made it to that privileged seat inside the campaign-trail ropeline by being keenly sensitive to the editorial wishes of his social and professional superiors.”

    You know where I found this. Compared to the usual handwringing about MSM, this was like rolling in rose petals.

  • bitchincamaro

    By definition, isn’t a “launching pad into the world of [anything]” aimed straight down?

  • artpepper

    “Humor and keen political observations” — yeah, that and the “Jumble” puzzle is why I read the newspaper every single day, whilst listening to 78s on my Victrola.

  • OhTheHorror

    To hell with starting with the police blotter. Let’s just have a contest!

  • overyourhead
  • lampadadog

    You guys called this on day 1, remember. I remember.

  • overyourhead

    I remember.

  • Mr Blifil

    Great time to be hopping aboard the newspaper juggernaut.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    This guys was married to District of Columbia Public School Führer…ermmm…Chancellor Michelle Rhee. ‘Nugh said.

  • DangerousLiberal

    Now that the WaPo is closing down every bureau from LA to Anacostia, (ok, that was closed years ago. I mean, DuPont Circle), the WaPo as about as good as any weekly shopper and community rag. Or the Coffee News, which is available at the DQ near me. Didn’t think that papers like that needed “commentary.”

  • Pizzuti

    but maybe he’s gay.