Wonkette
Before you dismiss this video as another “cute red-state gal is going to cum again remembering how the beautiful Sarah Palin touched her,” please just duct-tape yourself to the office chair and watch the WHOLE THING because, good god, PALIN MAN! [YouTube video-documentary by Wonkette commenter PabaBritanica.]
I only lasted 30 seconds. Life imitating art.
Oh, you have to watch it all.
Palinman’s 2012 veep will “…emerge out of obscurity.” Just like the Sarahrahrah herself.
Sounds a bit like he’s saying it will crawl out from under a rock like a toad.
Well, there’s 4:45 I will never get back.
“Sarah Palin rules! All that punk shit sucks…and fuck Madonna, she’s a dick!”
And Palin Man has 8 kids, a real ‘quiver full.’ Palin speaks for him and all the other great unwashed. A new Queen Esther. And he got Piper’s signature!
I think I’ve heard Palin Man speak somewhere before.
Gay for Palin ‘12!!
“I spent the night on the sidewalk. In *Columbus*.”
Columbus hobos, Palin Man is someone you should have mugged, raped and left for dead. Where’s your civic pride?
That’s one hell of a terrorist fist jab Palin Man.
I need to sit down. And drink 4 or 5 double martinis.
Of course teh gayz likes Palin; she looks like a hot (”hot” for a tranny, anyhow) tranny.
Well, *I* think it’s nice that his mental institution lets him out for a day to indulge himself. And he’s right: moose burgers are the shiznit.
Those people are really sad.
Sarah Palin is Jewish? What?
But seriously, Jeebus Fucking Christ on a goddamn pogo stick. Is it possible for people to be that stupid and still be able to walk around and function?
Do these people have the gland that produces shame removed surgically, or are they just born without it?
Ever since Hulk Hogan retired, these folks have been in vain for the New Messiah - until now.
3/1 that guy’s on a sex offender list somewhere.
This is Mr. Gary L. Chiero.
Tharah remindth him of the Queen Ethter thtory? Inconthievable!
What a clothet cathe.
First he called her “just like us,” then he called her “exceptional.”
What an amazing case of doublethink in the truest Orwellian sense: he does it, and isn’t even aware that he’s doing it.
Caribou Barbie: DoublePlusGood!
Shit - if I had any idea there’d be that many excited, squealing 18-years-and-over girls, I’d have hit one of those Palin signings!!
He probably travels the country when the “Ribwich” is on sale too.
You this guy already has a Sarah Palin Real Doll.
FMA: “Is it possible for people to be that stupid and still be able to walk around and function?”
There’s no way to beat the stupidity-amplification capabilities of unthinking, rabid fandom. What makes this frightening and discouraging is that these folks do function, at least well enough to get on local Republican Party committees and fill the coffers of retarded winger PACs.
And people wonder how Fox News [sic] can claim so many viewers.
I don’t get it. These are the people who accuse Obama supporters of viewing the president as some kind of messiah, and then they go ahead and freely draw parallels between some unemployed blogger from Alaska and the Bible itself. Honestly: what the hell?
so, ok - here’s what I learned from watching this:
1. the Palin Man isn’t a person (really, he didn’t have to tell me that)
2. Bible Spice is actually Esther from the old testament (hmmmmmm?)
3. Bible Spice is here to save the Jewish race (this did surprise me, didn’t see that coming at all!)
4. it’s a lot harder to pluck your own eyes out that you’d think, but given this level of motivation it’s worth it
Thsufferin’ Thsuccotasth!
Suds McKenzie: That’s McRib, thank you very much. How about a little respect?!
Primitive life forms and logic fitting for the Palineozoic Era.
Did anyone else notice the “Terrorist Fist Bump” with the suicide bomb at about the 3:50 mark? When will Fox News run a story about this deliberately un-American hand gesture?!
The Palin movement spreads articulation across the land.
Thanks for the views everyone
I filmed bits and pieces of the rest of the two day ordeal (follow the links) and I think the thing I noticed the most was how self-righteous these people are. In their mind, there is America and there is anything not espoused by Palin, Limbaugh, the Legend of Reagan they’ve created, etc. These are two completely exclusive ideas. This is a law as true as gravity.
Carrie_Okie: He’s “Super Thanks for Asking Dave”!
Suds McKenzie: “4. To get a sample of a moose burger.”
When Sarah Palin fans are involved, snark can often take a backseat to reality.
You know, people used to cry when they met Tiny Tim. At least that weird fucker could play the ukulele.
Our country is doomed.
Minnie Mean: I am skeared, of this ’save the jews” thing, I am confused and scared, I am. Just a couple of days ago, whe was asked what she thought of the Israelis building more settlements in the West Bank, and she said she was in favor, because Isreal needs the room becuase so many Jews will be flocking to Israel in the coming years.
Now what the hell might she be talking about? There is the “just making shit up” part, yes, but there is also this insane christ-tard left behind raving insane nonsense about how the red calf will be born and the jews will rebuild the temple, and then the christers will be raptured while the rest of us go through tribulations. And Obama is the antichrist, I can only assume.
And I figure she must have been talking about this. And so must Palinman.
Extemporanus: Sample the moose burger…Nah…too easy…
Even the back of the shirt says absolutely nothing. He’s a walking talking point just like Sarah.
FMA: SmutBoffin: I think you’re looking at this the wrong way. Following their way of thinking to its “logical” conclusion opens doors for all of us. Sarah didn’t have an abortion, so she’s qualified to be POTUS. I went to the WalMart and didn’t shoplift; I’m qualified to head up the World Bank. My husband didn’t beat the crap out of me over the weekend; he’s a shoo-in for the next SCOTUS vacancy. My neighbor didn’t litter; he’s a UN weapons inspector in the making. And so on. In a universe where SP is presidential, any ignorant serf can be king!
El Pinche: They love her because she can’t articulate the same things they can’t articulate, and what makes it so wonderful is, they can’t even articulate that. But they can point and grunt, and say “yay, yay, yay.”
FMA: That was printed on Palinman’s back, right above “5. To join Palin’s Posse.”
That sentence obviously contains a typo, but I’m too much the gentleman to point it out.
Uhh, Queen Ester was a concubine of a Persian king, one of apparently hundreds. She didn’t do booksignings, she charmed the king with her beauty and her intelligence. She had been an orphan raised by Mordecai, her cousin. She sent some new clothes to Mordecai after he ‘rent’ his own. Then she talked the king into hanging some this other dude Haman the Agagite, a prince who had been plotting to “extirpate” the Jews.
As per Wikipedia, “The king also issued a second edict allowing the Jews to arm themselves, and kill not only their enemies but also their wives and children, as well as betake of the plunder (Esther 8:11). This precipitated a series of reprisals by the Jews against their enemies.”
Yeah, I can see the similarity here. Our Lady Sarah is like Queen Ester. Todd is maybe like the king, or maybe Palin man(?), and Mordecai is kind of like McCain, and maybe Haman is like Obama, except well… maybe the Persian Jews are like republicans, Purim is like Christmas, and the Agagites are, well, uhhhh…ok wait…
Ah, here: “Esther lifted up in the eyes of God became an instrument for God. Because of her devotion and willingness to listen to the voice of God she was able to prevent the devastation and destruction of her people. Queen Esther an instrument of God used by God because of her willingness to obey the voice of God.”
So there you have it. They’re just like each other (except for the extirpation, the reprisals, the unused concession speech, the harem, the snowmobiles, the king holding out his sceptre, the moose chili, the dead previous queen, etc.)
SmutBoffin: I think DEVO explained this all back in 1978…
Mongoloid, mongoloid
Happier than you and me
Mongoloid, mongoloid
And it determined what he could see
And he wore a hat
And he had a job
And he brough home the bacon
So that no one knew…
why did you make me watch that horrible crap? and can someone swing by and un-do this duct tape? or at least refresh the redtube, har?
Prommie: You mean non-explicit, generic “conservative values” and “because she’s beautiful” aren’t good enough examples of why they’d gladly drink her bath water?
Larry McAwful: It’s called “transference” among psychologists. And it’s not generally considered the hallmark of good mental health.
Extemporanus: You know, when she said to me “get this guy!”, I turned so quickly and barely caught him out of the corner of my eye and when I did, I immediately thought “Super Dave Osbourne?”
Buzz Feedback: I beg to differ;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27m_Spelling_as_Fast_as_I
Prommie:
So, if she gets her fingers on the button, Palin can facilitate the End of Days with a nuclear war. What’s wrong with that?
Prommie: It’s Bush in 2000 all over again. Let’s try another dumbass and maybe we can out of this mess! HYUCKKKK!!!
People went into a curtained room with Sarah Palin and returned bawling. Haw haw haw.
Aflac Shrugged: I’m sorry! I was going to go, I swear, but the concentration of stupidity in such a small area created some kind of electro-moranic field that made me psychically ill. Read my comments at Shortsshortsshorts.com on that date at that time if you don’t believe me. I just had to drink until she left town, and, after seeing the local news coverage of the “event,” I do not regret my decision.
Buzz Feedback: There’s a lot of life imitating art (and visa-versa) these days…
Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_man_passionate_defender_of
I never thought of a Palin man having a lisp.
Extemporanus: “Posse”? Jesus, these people can’t even spell.
Two thoughts.
1. I hope Palin Man teaches wood shop or gym.
2. I really think they should give out Sarah commemorative condoms at these events.
And people say Twihards are the world’s scariest fangirls.
He has 8 kids and one wife?
guess he is not a Morman but IS a pro-forced pregnancy guy.
OMFG when i see these insane fanatics, all i can do is quote Peggy Gravel : “I tell you Grizelda, there’s something wrong here. Look around you. It’s a village if idiots!”
PabaBritannica: HOLY SHIT! Larry David has been behind this whole thing since Day One!
It all makes so much sense now.
FMA: For realz. There’s only one “n” in “penis”!
The Palin man makes
Everything he makes
Satisfying and Delicious
Palin Man called NPR’s Talk of the Nation today…and the guest was Ross Neckbeard, talkin’ ’bout how Palin appears to have chosen celebrity over politics (which is fine with me…someone give her a talk show on cable and make her go away).
Great, now I’m too stupid to work. Thanks for probably getting me fired, PabaBritannica, you big jerk, you.
Palin/Dobbs/Beck 20012!!!
These folks and the Twilight fans look very similar. Same unquestioning repetition of the hype; same sleeping-on-the-sidewalk fanaticism; same difficulty separating fact from fiction.
I only watched half-way in, so I can still say I’ve been faithful to reason.
If this psycho has eight kids, someone needs to call Social Services.
These morons are idiots.
Palin is an idiot, a moron, and an asshole.
But wait! There’s more…
http://instaputz.blogspot.com/2009/11/this-goes-as-well-as-you-might-expect.html
Mr. “Alaska is across the street from Russia” is channeling Harlan Williams as the crazy hitchhiker in There’s Something About Mary (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIYYZPnacWo)
It’s a fucking shame PALIN MAN didn’t meet TROJAN MAN back when it could have made a difference. This retard’s vas deferens is a threat to our national security.
I could have told you that he’s from Columbus. Costuming is second nature around here; Columbus engages in the sports version of Furry madness each fall. No doubt he decorates his lawns every late August in scarlet and gray, applies copious numbers of strung horse-chestnuts around his neck, and shouts “O-H” to passing cars in the hopes of a nearly discernible but nonetheless fanatic “I-O” in response.
I’m sure that he also sleeps with a Brutus Buckeye blow-up doll.
This is Unclean.
Rupert Murdoch is a genius. He realized that in a nation of 330 million people, there are probably a good 100 million bona fide retards. That’s a lot of buying power, if you got something retarded to sell them.
I think “out of obscurity” says it all!
lochnessmonster: Like a Genie out of the bottle, or toothpaste out of the tube, you can’t put it back.
Palin Man seems to be a sweet and gracious person. But are retarded people allowed to vote?
I’m left wondering what Palin Man has written on his underwear.
I watched the whole thing. Put a gun to my head, and I could not wrest an iota of coherence from that drivel. Just pull the trigger.
sati demise: Can you imagine how proud of their father those kids must be? Those lucky lucky kids.
Over my lifetime I have met simpeltons like Palin Man, on several occasions when it was amusing to listen to them and ask politely for them to expand on whatever drivel it was they were doling out. Usually you can elicit progressively more inane comments, opinions and observations from them than the initial line of “thought” they are allegedly following.
I’ll bet this borderline illiterate would have completely taken off if he had been asked, when he was talking about how “exceptional” Sarah Palin is, if he didn’t think that Obama has some sort of messianic complex, or that he has never accomplished anything in his life, so who is he to want to be President? The stupid that could be drawn out of guys like him is truly mind bending.
He’s a fucking TEACHER???
well that democracy thing was an interesting experiment . . .
Want to buy my book “How to Profit From the Coming Dark Ages”?
This wacky parade is coming to my town soon… as this is a red-state Southern city, I shudder to think what shenanigans will go on. Did you notice the only people of color in the film were security guys in coat & ties?
DoktorZoom: Requiem eternam, Dona Evita.
NiceButStupid: where “written” means “stained”?
snideinplainsight: 20012? May we wait that long.
Dashboard_Buddha: Well how ELSE could he afford 8 kids?
Anyone here watch the Project Runway? He sounds absolutely like Michael Kors. This guy is a plant and a total queen.
geminisunmars: Oh that book is a Palin movement alright and one that should be spread on farmland.
What’s weird is that these are the same people who are always saying liberals think Obama is the “messiah.” But I’ve never heard any liberal, even my own uber-elite East Coast kind, drivel on in such blatant, crazy hero worship as this. She could tell them to put a tattoo of her butt on their foreheads and they’d all do it.
So now Piper is signing books. Does she ever go to school?
EIGHT kids? I’m making myself nauseous trying to imagine a woman repulsive enough that she’d fuck THAT.
Gary “Palin Man” Chiero’s place of business is located across the street from one of our neighborhood pizza joints.
Now every time I get a pie there, all I’ll taste is the crazy.
Dashboard_Buddha: Jim89048: I believe 8 is the minimum number of children the government requires one to have before one’s home qualifies as a school, and is therefore elegible for tax exempt federal funding.
Every time one of Super Dave Palin Man’s kids becomes a senior, he has to knock-up his wife so that she can give birth to another student before graduation day. This cycle will continue until his wife’s uterus falls out—at which point the oldest daughter will pick it up and assume the responsibility of ensuring healthy enrollment numbers—or he is arrested for sucking trucker cock at an I-90 rest stop just east of Toledo.
The Duggar’s have this shit down to a science.
I made through the “triple pump” terrorist fist jab before my self-credulity choked on itself.
minute 1:19 says it all: Of the top 10 reasons to meet Sarah Palin, FOUR of them are to meet Sarah Palin.
Queen Methster
Will someone please cut this mans tongue out, please?
Dashboard_Buddha: Terry: Looks like he may teach silkscreening/ shop. If it’s the same guy, and it appears likely that it is, since he says he didn’t “buy” all his gear. Walking billboard, anyone? http://www.allbusiness.com/companyprofile/Charisma_Products_Inc/854DDB1F59EB20E9424CC4816AA87EEC-1.html
This man called NPR today. They were interviewing Ross Douchhat about the lack of intelligence in Palin/Huckabee. This man called in. This. Very. Man.
Hey kiddos ever want to rat your teacher out. WTF is Palin man? Enquiring minds want to know.
His wife looked like on of Palin’s illigitimate welfare queens.
Is he impressed or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with Palin Man?
Derange-ed man, Palin Man.
thatonegirlsays: You’ve obviously never heard of Yaoi.
Desthpicable! Wonketthe! I’m going to hath nightmarths!
I think that was the gayest thing that I’ve ever seen. And I’ve watched gay porn.
the problem child: It gets better on P-Man’s listing at a different small-businesses-too-poor-to-have-their-own-Websites site, where other recommended businesses include The Lion’s Den, specializing in supplies for bachelor parties and “all your erotic needs”:
http://www.merchantcircle.com/business/Charisma.Products.614-846-8888
Remind me never to shop in Columbus, O. Nevernevernever.
Heywood Jablome: Life intimates fart.
Brendan M.: Please also refer to my comments at shortshortshorts.com. Also my comments at driftglass are highly interesting.
Brendan M.: Please also refer to comments at shortshortshorts.com. And forward my mail there.
I would be a Palin-Man, but I’m too fond of having a penis. And being able to pronounce s-sounds. I do envy the fist pounding skills, though. I would have pounded the fuck out of that [clearly 18 year old] brunette, too.
Made it to 3:37 before I started rubbing my temples in an effort to keep my brain from going into shock.
Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all
Or if he moves will he fall?
Is he alive or dead?
Has he thoughts within his head
We’ll just pass him there
Why should we even care?
Nobody wants him
They just turn their heads
Nobody helps him
Now he has his revenge
Heavy boots of lead
Fills his victims full of dread
Running as fast as they can
Palin Man lives again!
Why do I know this guy goes to football games to see the half-time show.
Pity Me Sarah is less Queen Esther and more Aunt Esther.
This ass is a lot like my moron, excuse me, Mormon, neighbor. He has a “I heart Palin” sticker on his car, but I give him the benefit of the doubt, ’cause he was in a motorcycle accident and is more then a little brain damaged.
FMA: Is that Alaskan slang for muff diving?
PabaBritannica: It’s that Oz thing - never, never, never peak behind the curtain!
Was this a Sarah Palin booksigning or a visit the Shrine of Lourdes (and I’m not talking about visitng Madonna’s daughter’s bedroom, either).
How can this tweeker have 8 kids?
Finally, was that Jackie from the Grand Rapids’ booksigning at the end?
they like to call Obama’s popularity a “cult of Personality”
this is the textbook DEFINITION of cult of Personality!!
sheesh
I don’t know if anyone’s still trying to watch this, but I had to take it down. Some local tuffs/waterheads/tea partiers identified the girl at the beginning as a minor who was volunteering at the event and were ready to “do something” according to my editor at the newsblog I write for (http://starcityharbinger.com). I took it down to avoid controversy, and believe me, I really don’t want my name tied to inappropriate things done with a minor.
I did have this video of the whole event, though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vstxf3IIBuk
Some local tuffs/waterheads/tea partiers identified the girl at the beginning as a minor
WHERE IS THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?