Twilight heart-throb and South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford loved his Argentine Firecracker soul-mate so much that he abandoned his wife, kids and that annoying job (Republican leader of a slave state) just to pile up frequent-flier miles and bang his mistress with romance. But now the mean twerps at the state’s “ethics panel” have examined Sanford’s behavior and charged him with 37 crimes, hooray! But the state attorney general won’t necessarily pursue this, because come on, does he look black?
Also he might be impeached tomorrow, or not. The State reports:
If that committee votes to impeach Sanford, the resolution would go to the full House. If the full House passes the resolution, it would go to the S.C. Senate, which would try Sanford. If convicted, he would be removed from office. House Speaker Bobby Harrell, R-Charleston, has said he does not believe there are sufficient grounds — known now — to remove Sanford.
All clear now, right? [The State]
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So now true love is a crime? Sentenced for finding your soul mate? If only he’d chosen a black slave from amongst the house workers no one would have objected.
Heterosexual flavored adultery is still the only thing republicans will forgive.
This would be a great occasion to try out Bill Kristol’s idiotic idea (apologies for the redundancy) of skipping the trial and moving right on to the execution.
“He does not believe there are sufficient grounds to remove Sanford” = “He believes there are sufficient grounds to suspect the Lieutenant Gov is a gay”.
Those Argentinian cans were purchased at a heavy price.
Does that album have anything titled: “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina”?
I’m waiting for the movie, “Last Tango in Dentsville.” Starring Jennifer Lopez as The Firecracker and Larry the Cable Guy as Gov. Sanford.
Sandford, poor dears.
Songs for Soul Mates wasn’t bad, but he showed real maturation as an artist on his follow-up album, All my friends are dead.
[re=465047]Prommie[/re]: Oops, it is me, who am the stupid talking guy.
What luck! The republicans have just deigned to extend unemployment benefits!
The Judiciary subcommittee will meet in Room 101 of the Blatt Building.
In college, this is how we referred to the shitter.
Two, Four, Six, Eight, now’s the time to liberate
Go Buenos, Go Aires, Go Firecracka, Go Argentina,
Go Appalachia, go adultery-a, go state-run aircraft for personal use-a,
You 86 the rules, you do what feels just right.
Happy do whatever you wanukkah, and to all a cheery night.
I could never take Sanford seriously, let alone forgive him, once he praised Kemal Ataturk in his state-of-the-state message to the SC legislature:
http://www.turks.us/article.php?story=20030125094433369
That kind of grandstanding is unforgivable.
Ha ha. This is South Carolina. At the last minute, the legislature will vote not to impeach him and then elect him governor for life.
So, we impeach a president for a couple of in the office, Secret Service always knew where he was, didn’t cost the taxpayers a dime blow jobs, but Sanford disappears for 5 days, leaves the North American continent entirely without notice to anyone, violates a host of State travel rules, and his lawyer calls it all just “minor and technical.” Seems the Sanford must have found the secet of “what is is.”
“The largest single expenditure — $864.90 in November 2008 — was to attend a Republican governors meeting and pay for an Irish hunting trip.”
An “Irish hunting trip” is slang for a three day bender, right?
I hate Mark Sanford because of his freedoms.
[re=465028]JMP[/re]: word
[re=465071]McDuff[/re]:
It’s all excused by “It’s Okay if you’re a Republican.”
[re=465071]McDuff[/re]: Come to think of it, where the hell is Ken Starr? He’s usually all about the steamy bits of the story and lord knows there’s got to be some here! I mean.. Argentinian, amirite?
Sarah says these ethics panels are just the librule meedeeya trying to bring down the American family values that our troops fight for so why don’tcha try printin’ the truth for the troops and for the hockey moms huntin’ and fishin’. God bless ya.
Go corruption!
[re=465073]happyrock[/re]:
That’s GOP slang for buttsecks with a ginger.
And somehow, not a single indictment for David Vitter, he of the $200,000+ in legal fees associated with keeping him from facing solicitation charges.
Either the gods despise Mark Sanford, or Dave lined his diapers with four-leaf clovers and rosary beads.
Sanford: resign. What does it take? They’ve got you, the media has got you, the public has got you–everyone on the planet has got you. You seem to be the only moron who doesn’t get you.
RESIGN!
[re=465119]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: What’s really scary is that it is not at all clear that LA would reject him even if convicted. What a strange place, that bayou.
[re=465025]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Please, they’ll forgive anything if it’s their ilk partaking in the homosexual chicken-fucking or whatever. And it usually is.
This all leaves the press asking, “Dude, is everything ok?”
[re=465066]Jim Demintia[/re]: Especially if he pledges to go to the floor of a legislative session of their choice and beat a democrat with a cane until he’s a cripple. Those wonderfully Christian South Carolinines just eat up that shit.
[re=465071]McDuff[/re]: Clinton was impeached for lying to congress, technically. It wasn’t the BJ itself; rather the lying about the BJ.
They’re talking impeachment for Stanford because of misuse of state resources, and instructing staff to lie for him; rather that trysting w/Argentine ‘tang, which is not technically illegal.
He then added, “If our Lt. Governor weren’t a gay, we might consider impeachment under these charges. But really, Gov. Andre Bauer?”
[re=465227]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Lying to a grand jury, not to congress.
It is all part of the plan by the gays to take over South Carolina. First they elected a gay senator, and now a gay Lt.gov will take over. Gay agenda, FTW.
[re=465295]fishandvodka[/re]: They’ve already marched on Myrtle Beach, with the lesbans taking Columbia… It’s only a matter of months before they take Charleston, & Summerville, & Orangeburg, & Greenville — & then it’s on to Ft. Mill & South of the Border. Yee-haw!
[re=465295]fishandvodka[/re]: Ft Sumptuous here we cum!
This sounds like a job for Jeanne Cummings.
(Republican leader of a slave state)
“A” slave state?! Fuck, South Carolina was the OG of slave states; the Cadillac of slave states, if you will. South Carolina is the slave state. Get it right, Ken, and stopping besmirching the notorious name of South Carolina. You’re being inappropriate, Ken.
Meh. Ethics panels, death panels, same difference, right? The results the same, no?
You know, I wonder if the Andre Bauer dude owns slaves, because they’ll overlook the gayness, but if you ain’t got a slave, you ain’t got nuthin’ down there.
So why doesn’t he just leave wife no. 1, go live in Argentina with his true love? This is not at all rare in either the US or Argentina. He’d have to stop being gov. of South Carolina, but why would anyone rather live in South Carolina than South America, anyway?
[re=465452]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: Yes, indeed. That’s why his Brittanic Majesty could recruit so many slaves in the War of Independence. They too wanted to be free, and taking the King’s shilling was the best way.
I don’t see the problem. Sanford may sleep around, but I’m almost certain he’s racist enough to be an effective governor of South Carolina.
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