get your affairs in order

So There Are Actually Two Sarah Palins But Don’t Panic You Guys!


A perfectly logical explanation for this, after the jump!

See?

The only possible conclusion is that the one on the left is a post-op Meghan McCain. Hey America, just try ignoring Meghan now that she’s actually Sarah Palin.

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About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

Hola wonkerados.

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114 comments

  1. blinky_twinkie

    I once cut my hair to make myself look like Dorothy Hamill. Of course I couldn’t ice skate for shit. I then shoved my bewbies up into my chin and taught them to read Andy Warhol’s photographs. Can I be preznit now plz?

  2. pampl

    Carrying around a plastic surgeon’s business cards and handing ‘em out to ugly people sounds like a pretty fun hobby

  3. OReillysVibrator

    Sarah must feel like she’s looking into a mirror! Except for the fact that when Sarah looks in the mirror she only sees a swirling black cloud and thunder.

  4. Decker

    Palin’s body doubles should totally hook up with Saddam’s body doubles to create history’s greatest monster.

  5. jetjaguar

    One of the other pictures shows that she’s sitting in the religion section… which is about right.

  6. iburl

    Not Surprised. How many Kim Jung Il’s, Saddam Hussein, and Bin Ladens are there? Why should our torture-loving, lying-out-their-ass, violence worshipping (wannabe) dictators be any different?

  7. Oldskool

    Sure she can do her hair like Sayruh and wear the same glasses but can she ramble incoherently and be applauded for it? The bar is high, lady.

  8. ph7

    The Freepers are dedicated to the cause!:

    I would rather stick a very private and important part of my anatomy in a meat grinder than to shop at Best Buy.

    Oh, and this Freeper’s not shopping at Best Buy, but will participate in an Honor shunning:

    I am buying both a laptop and desktop for myself this year and will get one of my daughters (the oldest) a laptop. My youngest continues to be a disappointment so she will not be recieving much.

  9. Advocatus_Diaboli

    “Why just the other day I was telling my other brother Daryl and my sisters Sarah and Sarah how bad those taxes are, you betcha.

    “Also.”

  10. Lascauxcaveman

    I will never, ever again fantasize about making it with identical twins.

    Thanks for that, Wonkett.

  11. Vulpes82

    Sarah’s look is totally, “Listen, bitch, there’s only room for one Sarah Palin in this podunk town, and I’m her. When I get out of here, I’m going to shoot you from a helicopter. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!111!!! Also.”

  12. Snidely

    They could be the Doublemint Twins if the one on the right could just learn to walk and chew gum at the same time.

  13. JMP

    Looking closer, the Palin on the left looks a bit younger, from maybe around 1985. Don’t worry, young Sarah; you can find out what traumatic event caused your life to go so wrong, and fix it – and America – when you get back.

    Unfortunately, we don’t actually have Mr. Fusion available yet in 2009, so generating the 1.21 gigawatts might prove difficult.

  14. Joshua Norton

    Funny thing is you can’t find Palin’s book anywhere in San Francisco. Funnier thing is that no one has even asked for it.

  15. Cape Clod

    At that point Palin lept over the table, knocked the woman to the ground and started strangling her while screaming ‘There can be only one!!!’

  16. SayItWithWookies

    [re=464964]Snarkalicious[/re]: It depends on your definition of a permanent vegetative state.

  17. ManchuCandidate

    Hopefully, it will be like Highlander.

    One of these two Sarahs will lose their heads in a death duel.

    “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! ALSO!!”

  18. V572625694

    [re=464988]Joshua Norton[/re]: Well duh! because SF isn’t “real America,” as everyone knows. There probably aren’t a lot of HBO “Real Sex” episodes filmed in Wasilla, either.

  19. rottenart

    I think all you people talking about a Wonder Twin Sandwich are overlooking the danger posed to the space-time continuum if they were to actually touch. I think I saw it on The Twighlight Zone. Or maybe The Simpsons.

  20. Madeline

    Oddly, the woman next to fake shiny-vest Sarah is a Nicole Wallace look-alike. Coincidence?

    Fake Nicole Wallace is telling fake Sarah Palin that the fake Katie Couric (7th from left, blue shirt, white sweater) has low self-esteem.

  21. Whitey Did Katrina

    You should see the half dozen Todds doing whippits and drag racin’ pickups in the parking lot.

  22. RoscoePColtraine

    If Wannabe Sarah doesn’t have a voice that could strip the paint off of aluminum siding, I’ll have to deduct points.

  23. Country Club Jihadi

    Dopplegangtard is terrifying, but WTF kind of chastity belt is the lady next to her wearing?

  24. The Cap'

    [re=464939]pampl[/re]: And is my new scheme for picking up women with poor self-esteem at bars – “I’m a plastic surgeon, and while you have a nice pair, I can make them perkier for you. Let’s go back to my place and I’ll show you what I mean.”

  25. Accordion-o-rama

    [re=464966]Extemporanus[/re]: All those folks lining up to stick very private and important parts of their anatomy into a meat grinder.

    (their brains)

  26. Centrist

    Wonkette, this Centrist loves you but there are really three Sarah Palins. This one stars in a famous music video…
    I was watching the new Eminem video “We Made You’. Its an excellent vid. I was intrigued by the celebrity look-alikes and then I noticed an absolute ringer for Gov. Palin. Turns out its the adult film star who played Sara Palin in the parody ‘Nalin Paylin’. It is the most read post on my site to date…

    http://palinyoubetcha2012.com/wordpress/?p=884

  27. Prommie

    Can this doppelganger talk like this, though?
    O’REILLY: Let me be very bold and fresh again. Do you believe that you are smart enough, incisive enough, intellectual enough to handle the most powerful job in the world?
    PALIN: I believe that I am because I have common sense, and I have, I believe, the values that are reflective of so many other American values. And I believe that what Americans are seeking is not the elitism, the the kind of spineless… a spinelessness that perhaps is made up for that with some kind of elite Ivy League education and a fat resume that’s based on anything but hard work and private sector, free enterprise principles. Americans could be seeking something like that in positive change in their leadership. I’m not saying that has to be me.

  28. What Fresh Hell is This?

    I look like Curly from the Three Stooges, but I don’t flaunt it. Unlike the ladies in the photo, I have a life.

  29. BlueStateLibtard

    I think Megan is actually talking about her father. He is the only “human” I know who would actually do this. I may be poor white trash living in the underbelly of a bankrupt East Coast elitist state, subsisting on hobo beans and cheap laughs, but at least I don’t have to deal with that.

  30. lawrenceofthedesert

    She didn’t mention them, because Meghan didn’t get it when people gave her the brown paper bags.

  31. V572625694

    [re=465033]Prommie[/re]: Ms Palin’s prose is like (pick one):

    (1) a surrealist game of Mad-Libs.
    (2) Edward Lear on meth.
    (3) Successories wisdom randomized and strung together.

  32. thesheriffisnear

    I’m reminded of the scene in Fast Times at Ridgement High with all the wannabe Pat Benatars. What’s worse, I’m still trying to get my head around the Octo-mom, Angelina Jolie thing. In both cases very get a life-ish.

  33. Extemporanus

    [re=465058]V572625694[/re]: I’ll reaffirm my my vote for Mad-Libs, with the added observation that she appears to have skipped all the noun blanks, and instead focused solely on the verbs, adverbs, and adjectives. I believe she then went back and filled in more adjectives where the nouns were supposed to go. And in the margins. And on on her hand. And…

    Also, Lear on meth actually sounds like something I might want to read. Redundant, also.

  34. NYNYNY

    [re=464939]pampl[/re]: Popular activity among straight Republican men. The subtext of the action is “If you get enough plastic surgery, I might find you (a woman) attractive.” The sub-subtext is “Get a sex-change.”

  35. rottenart

    Also, if all Palin fans were to engage in this level of commitment to their idolatry, they’d be a lot easier to recognize and ridicule.

  36. rottenart

    [re=465093]NYNYNY[/re]: Scrolling down to Woo’s filmography, I’m amazed at how many of those titles would fit a movie about the Palinator Twins:


    Heroes Shed No Tears
    Plain Jane to the Rescue
    Paycheck
    Run, Tiger, Run
    Once a Thief
    Laughing Times
    All the Invisible Children
    Princess Chang Ping

    Wow. It’s actually a little weird.

  37. One Yield Regular

    o/~”They’re cousins! Identical cousins, and you’ll find/
    They laugh alike, they walk alike/
    At times they even talk alike/
    You can lose your mind!

  38. Rotundo

    [re=465245]brown_recluse[/re]: Well said! I was wondering if the doppelganger Palin would have to have a lobotomy so she could get the intellectual side to match Caribou Barbie too. I’m thinking that the answer is an unqualified “You Betcha”.

  39. DickRod

    So, apparently, getting plastic surgery to look more like Snowbilly means getting a MAJOR LEAGUE boob reduction. I mean, honey, you gave THOSE up to look like Palin?? Jesus wept.

  40. Bebe Loves You

    OMG, when Sarah becomes president, this woman can be her body double. And while she’s doing that she can learn from Sarah’s wisdom and run in 2020.

  41. ShiningBodyMassPath

    [re=465309]gaswhisperer[/re]: Palin’s some kind of monopole? Maybe this is a side effect of turning on the Large Hadron Collider.

  42. Long Form Def Certificate

    This reminds me: I am not looking forward to Christmas. Got some probable Palinologists in the family. & since I like them otherwise, I won’t be able to laugh in their faces.

  43. AnSnarkist

    [re=464927]Mr Blifil[/re]:
    “I am Sarah Palin of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service us.”

    Yeah, that pretty much sums things up.

  44. Boojum

    The caption on this photo on the actual Facebook page, which says it was added by Sarah Palin herself herself, is as follows:

    “Gov. Sarah Palin talks with a woman who’s looks resemble that of Gov. Sarah Palin at Borders bookstore during the third “Going Rogue” book signing event Thursday, November 19, 2009, in Noblesville, IN.”

    “who’s looks resemble”. And people say she isn’t smart.

  45. sweet old bob

    Well,I got two Palins and I’m not ashamed…two Palins and I love ‘em both the same…but I digress and there may actually be three if you squint and include the short one (who really looks more Alaska) behind the one on the left. Anyway, the real reason I wrote was to put you on notice (as if you didn’t already know) that Slate is having a “Write like Sarah” contest and I’d dare say there are quite a few of you who would be up to the challenge since she’s not exactly Hemingway. Check it out at: http://www.slate.com/id/2236477/?from=rss

  46. peeno nwar

    Dammit, Meghan. I loved you in spite of all your faults. Then you had to go and become Moosetard. I can’t take all of your faults combined with all of HER faults.

    We’ll always have Twitter.

    Sincerely,
    peeno nwar

  47. desertwind

    There was a short haired brunette Palin at the Fort Bragg signin’.

    The frozen smile on Palin’s yap… tee hee. She knows it’s Meghan, but she can’t make a scene.

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