Wonkette
Hark, fellow peasants, the House of Lords hath charitably queried its masters and shall permit a rather uncouth “bill of laws” to sully the golden carpets and golden chairs of its exclusive bordello of gold and money and diamonds. We are not worthy recipients of your showerings of mercy, ye angels!
Ha good Lord, why does this stupid vote even exist? It is easily the stupidest of the Senate’s many stupid votes designed to prevent anything from ever happening. Anyway, watch nutty Harry Reid say the best thing of the day, re: David Broder: “To focus on a man who has been retired for many years and writes a column once in a while is not where we should be.”
[CNN]
Nevada, the only Mormon state with legal bordellos!
I love Neveda and its legal mormon bordellos.
I love that Vicki Kennedy called Harry Reid and thru her tears, said “Ted would be proud.”
Now…back to the snark.
Also, where be Senator Voinovich?
hockeymom: Voinovich was probably on the crapper and forgot. “Uhh… sorry guys… daylight savings? No, that doesn’t work…”
Not that it matters, though. Although 60-39 does look more Triumphant than 60-40. Kind of like something costing $39.99 instead of $40.
Okay time to eat food. Thank you few folks for showing up for this, the most historic vote since whatever.
So now the GOP axis of weasels have even more months to lie, cheat, and bribe all concerned until there is no change and things will probably get worse? I hope this is a positive step and the coming months will see rational debate and respect for the needs of America.
Jim Newell: HUGELY more Triumphant. In fact, Harry Reid should have done the press conference afterwards to blaring Wagner.
Well shit, I better get to my supermarket before it becomes the local organic food collective since it appears we’re heading towards collectivist Marxist country at such a breakneck pace!
“Hark, fellow peasants, the House of Lords hath charitably queried its masters and shall permit a rather uncouth “bill of laws” to sully the golden carpets and golden chairs of its exclusive bordello of gold and money and diamonds. We are not worthy recipients of your showerings of mercy, ye angels!”
the best 2 sentences i’ve read all day, and i’ve been trolling the interwebs for about 10 hours. yes, my life sucks. i’m a poor and can’t afford to go out like real ‘mericans. sigh.
chascates: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…(pauses for breaths, wipes away tears of laughter HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…
hockeymom: You know who else listened to Wagner, right?
That thing between Mitch McConnell’s face and collarbones: not a chin, not a throat. “thin” is already a word, and not one that really pertains to McConnell (except for his conscience). I propose instead: choat. Like cankles, but for right under this closet case’s face.
Uncle Glenny: I also believe that now that the dems got a taste of what it’s like to have 60 Senators vote for something, they should continue to march in lockstep until they pass some sort of meaningful healthcare reform.
Jim Newell: Reed’s comment was great. I love when a Democrat shows some ballz. It happens so rarely.
And why the giving up, Jim? You don’t want to sit here all night and listen to me complain about dumping a pan of unbaked, homemade crescent rolls on the kitchen floor? Like Julia said, in your own kitchen, no one will know. They bake at 375–that kills germs, and I scratched off most of the cat fur.
Besides, a little dirt in your food builds up the immune system, which is very important since my deductible is going up by half in 2010 and I can’t go to the doctor again until the Democrats show some more ballz and rescue us from the industrialized world’s shittiest health care (lack-of) system.
hockeymom: You want more than a lukewarm sort of public option kind of thingy that will probably suck worse than selling a kidney in Sri Lanka? Damn some people are really fucking greedy.
chascates: ” will see rational debate and respect for the needs of America.”
You are adorable.
Wow. I certainly know now how it felt to be there during the passage of the Voting Rights Act, and other great American lawmaking triumphs. It’s like your heart is a big bass drum.
Uncle Glenny: Meanwhile, the Republics are telling us about the health reform bill with “Empress of Fortuna” from the Carmina Burada (no idea if I got all that spelling correct but I’m tired, so fuck the language nazis) playing in the background.
Neo Atheist: You’ve got a few days, since the entire Dem-rat party will now follow their KenyIslamic Voodoo Messiah Baraksadam Hoo-sayn Obamarx to his annual Hajj-hideaway, where they can curse All White Satans Great and Small, and your infidel Thanksgiving turkeys swimming in growth hormones and corn-syrup…
Around and around it goes. Where it stops, nobody knows.
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell fuck
Jack and Jill went up the Bill and something tumbling something
hockeymom: I was thinking the same thing. Maybe they’ll get a taste of the power they could have if they only used it. The campaigns against Lincoln are going to be the same no matter how she votes, so why not at least get a few folks in her camp?
Why don’t Democrats simply give speech after speech and sound bite after sound bite telling people the truth? The Republicans don’t care about your health, only the health of the insurance company executives. They don’t believe in government run health care, so what’s next on their chopping block? Medicare? (Meanwhile, they can meet privately with insurance douchelobbyists and give them the old wink, wink, nod, nod.)
Bearbloke: Shit you reminded me. I was wondering why they were “moving” “so” “fast” to bring this bill to the floor of the Senate. The DHIMMIrats probably rushed to have this bill eventually debated at some point in the unknown future so they could all go to Mecca and bow before King Abdullah before letting Iran nuke Israel and setting up the 18th caliphate or whatever so the Mehdi can set up his worldly kingdom on this world.
I wonder if anyone’s alerted Pamela Geller of Atlas Shrugs of this obviousness yet…
Uncle Glenny: i believe it’s spelled “voggner”.
Neo Atheist: Patriot Pam is already undercover in Mecca, disguised as a female camel…
obfuscator: Then that’s how he should spell it. Fuckin’ elitist Eurotrash composer.
I came back from the symphony to find out that Harry Reid got his vote. Very nice of those two delightful Southern ladies to give the peasants their vote (with a major bribe). I miss living in Cunuckistan, you can never hear this kind of stupid debate in the Canadian Parliament. In fact if you campaign against health care your political future ends painfully.
imissopus: If that’s how it’s pronounced, then that’s how he should have spelled it. Fucking gin martinis.
Bearbloke: Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.
Dreamer: Before I say my final, ‘Nitey, losers, let me add this: I wonder sometimes what kind of demographic reads “our” wonkette. Making a punctuation or grammar error (on the part of our enemies, that is) incites venomous attacks. You just got back from the symphony. I’m going to the ballet. Yet site is constantly and humorously filled with obscenities and profane references. Thank god for screen names. I have the feeling a lot of us aren’t openly wonkeratti.
Though dickwad has crept into my speech and the old man commented on it. You have to be careful to keep the wonkette and the real world (though if wonkette were the real world, we’d be better for it) separated.
As I was saying, Nitey-nite, losers.
Bearbloke: Holy fuck dude, a new sexual position and meme. What is it, like 2,000 years since the KAMA SUPRA. Do the humpty hump. Honey, it’s camel style 2nite.
ForTheTurnstiles: Even if your neologism were misheard, it would still suit Mitch McConnell perfectly.
imissopus, DustBowlBlues: Had my HTML skills been better my first sentence (what I actually believe) would have had the ’strike-through’ running through it. And my second sentence (the ‘here we go again’ shrug) would not have seemed so gullible.
As a pessimist the only thing that keeps me going is the mortality of the optimist. But then they don’t die soon enough so I’m back to square one.
Radiotherapy: one cover of Wilco had a Bactrin camel. 2 humps. humpy.
Huzzah, Harry.
The only thing this vote accomplishes is to guarantee Jim Newell about fifteen or sixteen of the easiest writing assignments of his life.
Fuck David Broder with Mitch McConnell’s dick up his ass, after you insert a hot wire in it and shellac it to make it hard enough. I’m so sick and tired of people with government-guaranteed health insurance telling me that other people should just die.
DustBowlBlues: Well thank you very much and “Happy Thanksgiving” to you Yanks, but I must point out that us Dirty Furriners don’t have “Thanksgiving Day”, since we Common Peasants at the arse-end of the world give thanks every bloody day for the Exquisite Privilege to live under the Iron Handbag of our Divinely-Appointed Absentee Landlord & National Grandmother, Her Imperial Brittanic Majesty, ‘ol Lizzee tha’ Duece…
…but at least we have health care, so… ummm… pass the turkey?
sati demise: A handshake drug to you on this quasi-historic eve. Let there be no corporations in your back and fight loneliness with a smile all the time.
Bull Black Novas Siempre.
Bearbloke: Aussie? Kiwi? Please give thanks your politicians have more sense & backbone than those above the so-called equator!
It takes some balls for my senior senator to be calling out Broder for being a useless old coot when Uncle Harry himself looks more and more like Calvin Coolidge as the years pass.
Mitch McConnell - The Imperial Grand Wizard of Closet Pedophiles.
Servo: McConnell is a box turtle who was evicted when the bank foreclosed on his underwater shell. It is true, however that all boxer turtles are NAMBLA members and vice versa.
Apparently things got sexual after the vote. Harry Reid dry humps and deep frenches Lincoln and Landrieu on the floor.
Fuck the Senate. Fuck them and their 60 votes. Lieberman, Lincoln, Landrieu, and Nelson should not in any universe have this kind of power. It’s complete crap.
was anything other than the fact that he addressed the senate the truth?
“It is really disturbing that the neocons can claim to be PRO-LIFE and say every life is sacred. But not support health-care for everyone. It is the Purist Hypocrisy i have ever seen.
I guess A fetus is sacred but not a baby. They must only support abortion in the 100th trimester”
hockeymom: “Also, where be Senator Voinovich?
I assume with Senator Voinovich being one of the very last GOP Senators just slightly west of crazy (i.e. just outside the bounds of it), he didn’t want to have anything to do with this, to be honest. For a Senator anywhere in the Rust Belt to vote against something like this, you’d really have to be absent a conscience. It’s times like these I’m happy to have Senators like C-Lev and D-Stabs.
Hard to see how this would’ve even happened if Sarah Palin were in charge of the senate. She’d be all “getting in there with the senators” and “making a lot of good policy changes.”
No shit, that’s what she reckoned she’d do.
The Wonkette demographic is supposed to be highly educated and wealthy. Indeed, right now I am sitting here eating my arugula salad with a $10 cup of coffee, a copy of the Times beside me, gazing out at my large picture window, where outside my 30-foot yacht sways gently on the glittering waters of the Sound, and polo ponies and racehorses romp merrily on my meticulously manicured lawn.
Socialism/Communism for everybody (except you) now.
Rant/
Isn’t it funny that the CONgress get full medical without paying (well we pay for it, …Wait) but you and I have to pay (if we can) through the nose? Maybe we should change THEIR plan and let that ride for a year or five and then talk about this again?
/Rant
ForTheTurnstiles: Miss McConnell appears to be missing his eyebrows. Also.
BlueStateLibtard: Pardon me, but would you have any Grey Poupon? Or a “Cadillac” health insurance plan paid for by the hedge fund you manage?
BlueStateLibtard: The Wonkette poster demographic consists of the people who would have been scheduling the nobility for guillotine appointments, if this were France in 1789. Lives of true privilege kill the snark.
We in Ohio have been pounding on Voinovich…maybe he just didn’t want to go on record against health care with his career winding down. Would’ve been awesome if he’d voted with the Dems, tho, since he’s not running for re-election.
RoscoePColtraine:
Perish the thought. She’d re-decorate the Senate chamber to give it a log cabin look, complete with a field stone fireplace, moose heads on the walls, and those cute antler chandeliers.
Though I am none of their constituents, I sent Landrieu, Nelson and Lincoln e-mails thanking them for their vote and urging them to look favorably on a final vote for a plan with a vigorous public option. I pity the electrons that died to produce these messages. Now, I am off to buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
jennx: And why shouldn’t they?
Also, I believe you are lost.
My comparison of the final product of the coming “debate” to a warm puddle of piss has been affirmed by your “golden” “showerings”, Jim. Thank you.
I’ve already noticed that the number of insurance pimp/whore sponsored TV commercials has doubled by this mornning.
chascates: “Why demean weasels by relating them to republicans? Cockroaches make for a much better metaphor.”
Not actually mine but certainly apropo.
DustBowlBlues: No ballet or symphony or even a movie theater out here in rural Nevaduh, but we do have stock car racing, fuck yeah! and that’s where I was when this famous vote to continue arguing about whether I have to share my god-given healthcares with the rest of you, quietly keeping up with current events on my “iPhone”, while rubbing shoulders with birthers, Birchers and 2nd Amendment absolutists (well, me too) and listening to NPR on the drive home, so yeah, I keep my views mostly to myself.
This kind of asinine vote makes me wonder why Hunter Thompson was so into politics. It’s the foulest, most shameful, most infuriating thing ever invented.
DustBowlBlues: They are awful cute right up to the point where their idealism cherry gets busted.
Why does Obama and Reid just tell any Democrats that refuse to get on the wagon that they are going to lose any DNC funding for re-election and be stripped of any chairs if they do not quit acting like fools?
I already know the answer. I just try to forget it as it is depressing.
AnglRdr: If two people are in the same place and one of them is lost, can you really be sure its not you?
gurukalehuru: Given my experience of having never once been lost, it’s a safe bet I am exactly where I meant to be.
This should not be interpreted to mean that where I end up was necessarily where I was originally planning on going, naturally. Just that I am flexible.
V572625694:
“Shellac, eh?”
[ponders comment; has idea]
V572625694: I think the comments about Republicans wanting people to just “die quickly” are way out of line.
After all, there are valuable proteins and nutrients that large corporations could extract to sell for profit.
glamourdammerung: Plus, when you think about it, people are just slabs of meat too, like Sarah said. I see a great business opportunity here–something that I think would be right up that handsome Mitt Romney’s alley!
Jim Newell: Actually, I checked the google and he went to a party instead. He just does not care.
glamourdammerung: Seconded. I happen to know for a fact that in many cases, like that of our President for instance, they would prefer slow, agonizing death.
Oldskool: “This kind of asinine vote makes me wonder why Hunter Thompson was so into politics. It’s the foulest, most shameful, most infuriating thing ever invented.”
Do you always answer your own questions? I get shit from people in here when I do it.
glamourdammerung: Not just valuable protein — valuable FAT! You heard about that Peruvian gang who murder people and sell their fat to European cosmetic companies?
http://www.komonews.com/news/national/70593447.html
$60K per gallon. Law & Order, ripped-from-the-headlines episode in 5…4…3…2…
And we want pot legalized and ran by these assholes?
Kent Brockman has said many times”democracy simply doesn’t work.”
Screw it I’m doin’ the medical tourism thing.
HuddledMass: I’m already donating plasma– you mean I can sell my FAT too? omg omg omg omg I’m gonna be rich !!! What’s the market price on earlobes, teeth, digits? Do you know? I can’t wait to pay my mortgage again!
V572625694: I hope the CIA doesn’t read the wonket, for I fear you may be giving them ideas. Tried to watch GPS, but I’m so consumed with being pissed off about assholes who expect the families of gays to sit in the back of the bus and want to give the cross equal billing with the fucking American flag–at church, yet–that I turned to wonkette for some potty-mouthed fun with like-minded pessimists.
Jim89048: In my other life, I’m the world’s best Sunday School teacher. No fuckin’ theology, dogma-obsessed ‘tards coming out of my classes when I’m done with them.
Neilist: Actually, you get shit from people here for alternating between strawmen, idle threats, and the same Bhutto joke.
But why let reality get in your way now?
HuddledMass: The invisible hand of the free market is working its magic. Especially as the final product would be a fraud and probably dangerous as well. If only these “Pishtacos” were on the internet posting, I would almost bet they would be Paultards. Except that Paultards do not have jobs.
Just how did Harry convince those two broads? That crazy mormon!
DustBowlBlues
PESSIMISTS OR REALISTS?
OhTheHorror: Are you implying that Reid married both of them?
And verily I say unto you Madam Chairwoman, we deserve a debate on health care reform and this mighty #2 pencil shall act as my rod and staff. It comforts me, and with it shall be used, mightily I say Madam, to pluck out the eye of any other silly old coot who mumbles to the contrary.
Dreamer: DustBowlBlues: True story: One time I had tickets to a Prokofiev ballet, and I knew my potential date wouldn’t want to go to “one of those classical music things”. So I told her I had tickets to the Tyson fight on closed circuit. She quickly agreed to go. I got her to sit through 10 minutes before she demanded a ride home. Nothing could be more opposite of a Tyson fight than a ballet.
FlipOffResearch: So — how was the rest of the date?
geminisunmars: I hear there was cock punching involved.
FlipOffResearch: the best tyson fights were veritable ballets of savage brutality and ear biting and cock punching and whatnot.
Neilist: Depends on the question. And the answer.
Nie tie, Harry! It’s his secret ball reserve, obvs.
Neilist: You get shit from people here? Maybe you need to blow off steam. Might I recommend a marksmanship demonstration performed at the site of a former employer, perhaps?