Wonkette
The “Lafayette County Republican Central Committee” of Missouri — an evil power of greater strength than the Chamber of Commerce and AHIP and Jackie Seal combined, times Halloween — has posted this warning on the highway: when the Second Revolutionary War comes… get your ass to New Hampshire and hide, because war is really scary! [Fired Up! Missouri via Oliver Willis]
8 years too late?
Where were these guys when noted GOPer Preznit W Bunnypants added 5 Trillion to the US America debt and Cheney ranted about “Deficits don’t matter”?
Oh right, a black guy wants to give some people healthcare and NOW it’s all about fizkall responsibility.
I see the underpants gnomes have been busy in the Blow Me state.
What if you *are* the beast?
Neilist?
I guess by not putting up any contact information, they figure the Secret Service won’t be able to find them and jail them for inciting to riot and making terroristic threats.
Anonymity FAIL.
You’ll take my Social Security and Medicare, that my grandnieces and nephews will be paying for by borrowing money from the Chinese, from my cold dead hand!
Fucking pussy retards. They keep flapping their gums about the “coming revolution” and “watering the tree of liberty” but none of these dipshits is volunteering to catch the first bullet for freedumb. Here–it’s a surplus ammo can of dicks. Dig in.
In reality, isn’t it much more likely to go like this:
1. Starve the Beast, keep your money.
2. Get caught by the IRS.
3. Go to jail.
pissing up a rope is not “watering the tree of liberty.”
Let’s see the dictionary; under s; sed; yes, here it is! sedition
3. Economize on definite articles.
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Profit!
We need to reconsider whether the North actually won the Civil War. I’m thinking a true win would have had the fuckers secede.
Because every upcoming revolution is always announced via roadside billboards. How else do you think we were ready for the Cracker Barrel Insurrection, the Flying J Putsch, and the Love Travel Stop Coup D’etat?
I really like this advice. Please teabaggers, keep your money. Don’t pay your taxes. once all you fucking retards start going to prison for tax evasion, we will legalize drugs make room for you. Win/win.
Or just die. Win also.
Right. Can we spread democracy to Missouri by bombing them now, please?
Syntax, spelling, grammar, FAIL.
Central Committee? Sounds pretty damn commie to me. Why are these Missouri Stalinists pretending to be Republicans? It’s almost like they want an all-seeing, authoritarian government that controls the press and accuses all its enemies of treason. Oh, wait.
Zorg: Exactly. How can Real Americans refuse to pay taxes IN A TIME OF WAR??!!11!!1!
Wait, so the progression goes: “Illegal action, if that doesn’t work then legal action, and if that doesn’t work, all out treason and war”?
Well, if you must. I’m sure the federal government can build some more prisons to accomodate you all for tax evasion. Now you too can feel like Al Capone!
I sure hope they put out a billboard-on-tape version, because there’s no way a wingnut from Missouri could ever read the whole thing while passing it in a moving vehicle.
Also, all that lip moving would send dip flying everywhere.
I guess there was some big sale on dumb ass bilboards , since look what’s going up in Wheat Ridge, CO:
http://www.am760.net/pages/JayMarvin.html
Well, okay. I guess once the so-called revolutionaries stop paying their taxes, they’ll no longer use the tax-supported infrastructure, such as public roads. Am I right? Can we expect to see less of them on our roads in the near future? I’d like that, actually, so go ahead. Keep your money, oh brave revolutionaries.
They’ll reconsider their position when, after having “starved the beast”, the beast cuts off their social security, their medicare, their clean drinking water and their sewage treatment plants and the electrical grid. They will also have to inspect their own medicine, meat, and other food and hey, good luck with that.
So I can’t yell “fire!” in a movie theater, but this is OK?
Also, this is another example of something wingnutty that mentions “cum”. They just can’t get away from it, can they?
Sara in the West: Multiple choice tests are the absolute worst!
Yeah boy howdy, that ’starve the beast’ strategy worked great over the 20 years (8 for Reagan, 12 for the Bushes) that it was tried. Let’s see: somewhere in there, we had a Dumbocrat preznident who raised taxes, and almost wiped out the national debt, until Greenspan said WTF.
These people will believe any goddamn thing.
I’m with MasterBlaster – Embargo on! Let ‘em revolt alone in the dark.
The Missouri wignuts also need some grammar lessons. For one, don’t use “A” with a plural like “citizens”; it should be just “Citizens guide to”. Now, they’re guiding to the revolution of the corrupt government; I guess this means that the government is turning on an axis at a regular rate, since as this is the government acting here it would contradictory for it to perform a revolution as in revolt instead of revolve.
I had no idea there were dumbshits in Mizzorah too. Suddenly my part of the South looks a little better.
The comments on the website of the folks that put up the website make a case for MO not being a total waste… Most of the comments call the sign treasonous.
give us a bob: Definitely destroys the element of surprise.
Just as the Grift Rift Valley courses through Africa the Great Valley of Idiocy runs through the middle of America.
Extemporanus: I’ve tried to drive through MizzouREE (screw y’all and your pronunciation fetish). There are no moving vehicles, ‘cept mebbe a few completely out of control.
Maybe we could incite some sort of mutually eliminative fringe war by notifying PETA that the LCRCC has demanded that Americans starve the beast.
“Revolution of a corrupt government”??? Is our government going around something? Or, is it going around itself, like the earth revolving around its axis?
Do they have schools in Missouri? Do they teach English? If they do, they need to revolute them, first, into learning the ‘tards in the Republican party.
What a bunch of cry babies.
These are the same people who always said, “Love It or Leave It!”.
As a former Missourian, I’d point out, we voted for our deceased governor over ashcroft. Of course that cleared the way for him to become the AG, but we didn’t know that would happen. Also.
Am I the only one who thinks, for a fleeting second, when she sees such things: “I’d like to see you try.”
Oldskool: Mizzourah’s like Pennsylvania: two relatively sophisticated big cities separated by rural Alabama.
“Starve the Beast. Keep your money.”
Boy, Comcast isn’t going to like that.
germansteel: If they had schools in Missourah, they wouldn’t have billboards like these.
So, the plan for these noble patriots is:
1. Commit felony tax evasion.
2. Still vote.
3. Gun up and head towards French Canuckistan.
I got five on it.
Manchu, I’m sorry.
Wisdom from John Stewart: “It feels like all the people that want limited government really just want government limited to Republicans.”
So, Harry Truman is from Rural Alabama?
“I AM A TRAITOR! I ENCOURAGE YOU TO COMMIT TREASON WITH ME!”
Sore losers.
Yeah, those tea parties sure are nonpartisan!
You don’t go to war with the army you prepared to have, also.
Snarkless: HST (and I don’t mean Hunter S Thompson) was from Independence, MO, a KC suburb. It’s pretty well known that all evil begins in the suburbs.
Actually Harry Truman was born in southwestern rural Missouri and moved to Independence before the turn of the century predating it being a suburb by sometime. I believe I have now proven my moniker.
When Republicans say “Prepare for War,” their frame of reference for “war” is watching someone else’s kids on the tee vee, in Army camouflage, in a place none of them could locate using a good GPS or an atlas, while they reach for the cheetos bag and liter bottle of Mountain Dew, spilling ashes from their cigarette on their wife-beater, yellow-sweat stained t-shirt.
“If you’re really going to start an insurrection, consider bringing more than twenty or so of your closest friends.” - Attributed to John Brown, shortly before his death at the hands of federal troops.
“… he used to wear an old gray coat, all buttoned down before.”
You don’t go to war with the army you prepared to have, also
Snarkless: Harry Truman is from Kansas City. That’s the big, sophisticated one on the west.
Bring it on.
Actually, he’s not.
I thought they were leaving.
These guys are even worse than Ron Paul people, at least they only want Rev-love-ution, right?
Ah, the Ozarks. Ma and Pa Kettle live on.
As a Missouri boy transplanted to Gawjia, all I can say is: fuck it, I’m surrounded!
doxastic: Good point, because the last “revolution” movement was so successful. I’m still looking for early 70’s historical records of People’s Postrevolutionary First Couple Paul Kantner and Grace Slick.
This is the result of people buying into their own bullshit. I mean, do these folks honestly believe that a bunch of pasty overweight people who’s only exposure to the great outdoors is going hunting once a year will be able to start a revolution? The Army has physical fitness requirements for a reason.
And NEWS FLASH: a gun collection does not make you a soldier, no matter how many times you masturbate to that HAWT MILITIA GIRLZ calendar.
Nitwits.
Who knew a billboard was capable of having a toddler-like tantrum?
It’s freedom’s call
Old Glory, raise her
Let’s give the Muslin
A rusty razor
Berma Shave
Cicada:
They also seem to forget that deer and paper targets don’t return fire.
Johnny Zhivago: These clowns probably are their local Ron Paul “people”.
Maybe we’re all wrong. maybe we should all practice praying for mercy from Field Marshal Skoalrebel.
V572625694: O.K., Snarkless, you got the TKO, and Jimmy Carter was from Georgia and Bill Clinton from Arkansas. V’s analysis of Missouri demographics and voting trends is still valid.
Almost forgot:
I, for one, will welcome our new inbred overlords.
snideinplainsight: and you might not want to waste all of your immediate family on your bad bet.
If you were watering the tree of liberty with the blood of tyrants, you’d be home by now
glamourdammerung: Bring it, moron!
1. Spend all your money on worthless billboards.
2. Huddle together under a Rebel flag and look angry.
3. Elect someone who “hears” you but screws you anyway.
4. Get drunk and jerk off to pictures of Sarah Palin.
Amurika, fuck yeah.
Man, I’mo git off ‘is fucking couch and kick some ass, in a minnet.
Damn muslins and libtards cain’t have my cuntry and kick out my baby jesus.
Advocatus_Diaboli: I’m not worried. Last time West Virginia and their friends kicked Virginia’s ass. Bring it on, Rebs.
Just to put that billboard in context–Lafayette County is where that wingnut religious family has been arrested on numerous charges of beastiality, incest, molestation, rape, etc.
I also saw an “Alan Keyes for President” billboard in southern Missouri last summer. Had to put it on my Facebook page under “laugh out loud funny”. Parts of this state scare me!
I never thought I’d miss the phrase, “America. Love it or leave it.”
Can’t blame Paul Tards they spell it RevolUTION or rEVOLution. Maybe yall forgot there is a little backward love in any rEVOLution.
Seems like they are 8 years late to prepare, maybe that’s why they are losing.
give us a bob:
Don’t like Taxes?
_____
Scream like a Hellion.
_____
TeaBag your Senator
_____
Start the Rebellion.
_____
BURMA-SHAVE
Starve the Beast, keep your money.
When did a comma become a conjunctor?
Years ago, through a series of ‘accidents’ and tribulations, I ended up on the Left coast…this shit make me afraid to be more than 10 mile inland in this country!
Living costs money. So go die alreay.
ella: …and since we’re in a geography-correcting mood on this thread, the Ma and Pa Kettle characters were rural yokels from Washington State, about 50 miles from my home town, in fact.
Olympic Peninsula, represent!
These fucking people are lunatics.
Lascauxcaveman:(OT) I lived in P.A. for several yrs, but I’m from New Eng.
Barrelhse: So why’d you leave? This is one place that’s actually getting nicer as time goes on. If you ever come back for a visit, you’ll have to stay at
my place; Wonkette commenters get $10 off the published rates!
Lascauxcaveman: I have a bad feeling that getting the Wonkette Discount involves sodomy, panda costumes, or both.
Lascauxcaveman: That’s actually a nice place. Why am I shocked? The panda stuff, I don’t know though.
Is $P’s bus coming through Missouri?
She can lead them to where ever it is they want to go.
FlownOver: I’m still looking for early 70’s historical records of People’s Postrevolutionary First Couple Paul Kantner and Grace Slick.
I believe that all the evidence of Mr. Kantner and Ms. Slick’s co-presidency was destroyed after they released the song “We Built This City On Rock And Roll”, a song so bad it caused a fake news helicopter to crash into “the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps”, killing thousands.
I love that anyone reading that billboard is driving on an interstate highway.
Also, I thought these people were going Galt? So go Galt already!
BlueStateLibtard: glamourdammerung: Aw c’mon, don’t be such pussies! Show up in a panda suit and you get $20 off the advertised rate!
(Just kidding. If you show up in a panda suit, I’ll give you $20 and send you up the street to shout gibberish at the folks at China First, the shittiest Chinese joint in town. There’s a pawn shop next door, and since in my town Pawnshops=Guns, you’d be an endangered species, to say the least.)
Advocatus_Diaboli: A true win would have seen the Seccess liquidated as a class. At least, that’s what my old Uncle Joe always used to tell me.
Will they bring back slavery, after the revolution?
Zorg: It’s true that the Roman Empire would have sold all confederate prisoners to the Empire of Brazil, the biggest slave power in the world.
Aren’t they likely too fat to fight?
Snarkless: Independance! Site of the Garden of Eden! Future site of the Heavenly Jerusalem! (According to Joseph Smith.)
Step 4. Fuck yourself with pancakes?
Step 5. If Step 4. is a question, repeat the Steps again.
I guess “revolution of a corrupt government” means the government spins around - like on a turn table, or a spit mebbe?
Teabag party at Fort Sumter!
Come one, come all!
Show yer patriotism!
Gunz welcome!
Sponsored by Rebel Yell bourbon!
Then wait until they’re passed out and fire up the cannons.
A billboard advocating the violent overthrow of the US govt? They should be easy enough to find - book ‘em, Dano. It’s a federal offense, punishable by up to 20 yrs in prison.
I’m actually from that county. The billboard is right as you are leaving KC on I-70. When I was growing up, there was a sign for “Murder, Death, Suicide?” Cleaners on the same billboard. COMPLETELY TRUE.
O.K. Lafayette County Republican Central Committee of Missouri, so you puddingbrains want to defend freedom, huh? Just which Party was it that created The Department of Homeland Security (which would have gotten a wry grin from George Orwell)? Which Party’s Prez trashed the Constitution (which every U.S. President takes an oath to defend)? Who engaged in unlawful wire-taps? The list goes on.
If you douchebags want to bloviate about “freedom”, it might be nice if you had some idea of what the word meant.
As for “vote out the incumbents”, that’s what happened- TO YOU PLONKERS! Also…
I’d guess that seen thru’ the spittle-flecked screen of Bubba’s pickup, yer average trailer park spawn will think that sign IS a book, but christamighty what a big ‘un! (Landscape format, opens at the wrong end). Anyway, how the hell do they expect the bipedally part-time to count as far as three? Don’t they know it should be in base “many” (goes one, two, many, many-one, many-two, many-many)?
I wonder if someone actually paid for the ad, or the billbord compant put it up there ’cause they had no payin’ customers
Awww. How cute. A blog: http://lafayettecountyrepublicans.blogspot.com/
and an email: chairman@lafayettecountyrepublicans.com