real american georgia

Saxby Chambliss Thinks Georgia Looks Like *This*

Georgia slaveowner Sen. Saxby Chambliss recently participated in this thing from National Geographic, which “invited all 100 U.S. Senators to draw a map of their home state from memory and to label at least three important places.” Most of the participating Senators sketched their states admirably. Chambliss, meanwhile, drew Mississippi, but with more saw teeth on the borders (to keep the Africans out) and a rectangle called “mountains.” This is truly catastrophic. [National Geographic]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • 4tehlulz

    Apparently, in Georgia, mountains are rectangular.

  • trondant

    The saw teeth to the east are to keep out people from the Bad Carolina. Sadly, they don’t work all that well.

  • user-of-owls

    Saxby Chambliss: putting the ‘tain’ in ‘taint’!

  • Extemporanus

    If you think that’s bad, you should see Max Cleland’s drawing.

  • Click

    Looks like a retarded Christmas tree signed by a shit-faced Santa.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    Point your little sharp draft-dodging teeth another way, you moran.

  • el donaldo

    Is that Georgia, or a Christmas Tree? You mock Saxby Chambliss’s Christian faith, you godless liberal heathen? WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!!!1!!!

  • 4tehlulz

    Also, why does Georgia have a square dick dangling from it?

  • Cicada

    It appears that Saxby’s Georgia is also sucking in it’s gut. This is an obvious pander to his beer-gutted and Spanx-wrapped constituency. Well played, sir, well played.

  • Oldskool

    He must go shopping with Charlene.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=462721]user-of-owls[/re]: Damn, I was just about to add that, with a “more” in front.

  • Servo

    What about the river where he buggered Ned Beatty?

  • trondant

    [re=462729]4tehlulz[/re]: You mean Florida?

  • magic titty

    The ‘S‘ in his signature sure is spiffy though!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Could have been worse. Orly Taintz claims that Barry drew a map of Kenya.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    [re=462729]4tehlulz[/re]: Georgia’s dick that it tries to stick into Florida is actually small and atrophied.

  • chascates

    Can we see the one for Alaska?

  • Blue_in_VA

    Al Franken is such a goddamn lovable geography nerd. His drawing pwns all the other lame-o Senators. Hell, he even used annotations, and included the border states.

  • El Pinche

    On word Sax, Al Franken. He can draw all of them, BIATCH!

  • CrunchyKnee

    One would think that SkoalRebel’s house would have made the map, at least, also, too.

  • Blue_in_VA

    Also. Susan Collins clearly cheated. That bitch ain’t free form.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    One of the few times it’s good to be from Wyoming.

  • Jim89048

    Franken coulda made a mint selling his own drawings.

  • hockeymom

    Franken’s was the best….Enzi’s was the worst. He drew a square.
    The Senator from Idaho was enthusiastic about his state, but gets minus points for penmanship.

  • jmfleetwood

    Looks more like Mississippi, hmmm.

  • you cannot be serious

    Will Colorado and Wyoming get dangling participles too?

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=462723]Extemporanus[/re]: Cleland did not get a drawing only active senators were invited and Georgia they kicked his coward ass to the curb to put in handsome war hero Saxby Chambliss.

  • ithasatilde

    [re=462743]chascates[/re]: Actually, a great thing about the Alaska drawing is that Senator Icecube didn’t even label any important places– National Geographic had to pick names out of a hat and pray “Wasilla” didn’t come up.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    RAARRR. Mississippi is like a shark. It bites.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    GEORGIA, SHORTS. GEORGIA… I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

  • glamourdammerung

    Also, I think the drawing is supposed to be a death panel.

  • magic titty

    [re=462758]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Why am I still laughing at this?

  • Godot

    [re=462767]ithasatilde[/re]: He did mark off three places, he just didn’t label them. Which is a style I can appreciate.

    “Hey, I said this shit was notable. You callin’ me a liar? Fuck you!”

  • Terry

    Did you follow the link? I think Susan Collins had a intern trace Maine for her and she just labelled it.

  • Cicada

    [re=462758]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I can’t believe Enzi got full credit for that drawing. He didn’t even bother to draw the borders of the state, just some weird squiggles for Yellowstone and Devil’s Tower.

    C-, at best.

  • Cape Clod

    Chambliss has better things to do with his hands. Like feeling up his preteen grandaughter in campaign commercials.

  • JMP

    After two breast posts in a row,we get this sketch? Not that there is anything wrong with the post, but I was hoping for more breasts.

  • pampl

    Holy shit, Idaho needs some ritalin

  • chascates

    Wyoming is easy enough John Cornyn could have drawn it.

  • Al Keiderman

    “Other arms reach out to me
    Other eyes smile tenderly
    Still in peaceful dreams I see
    The road leads back to you
    Oh Georgia, Georgia”

  • user-of-owls

    You think there’s too much jaggedy in Chambliss’ map? Wait til you get a load of West Virginia as interpreted by Robert Byrd.

  • Mr Blifil

    I was expecting more Great Monuments of the Confederacy.

  • Jerri

    What’s a “Mou)trie?”

  • liquiddaddy

    [re=462740]magic titty[/re]: His signature looks like all the nice lady elementary school teacher’s sig’s I ever saw. Why does he write like a girl?

  • Flanders

    [re=462743]chascates[/re]: It wasn’t bad, actually. My favorite in terms of technical correctness was Wyoming.

  • Zadig

    [re=462775]Cicada[/re]: No, he drew the borders all right. It’s just that the borders are literally a rectangle.

  • SuedeDwayne

    One day I hope to visit Pembina Gorge, and help investigators crack the case of Byron Dorgan’s “beautiful secret”

  • rmontcal

    [re=462744]Blue_in_VA[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0-FYyuvrRk&feature=player_embedded

    You haven’t seen this yet, have you?

  • chaste everywhere

    I want him on my team in Pictionary, then nobody will notice that I can’t draw either. Do people still play Pictionary?

  • Doglessliberal

    Wyoming is pretty good, too. It has a big pimple.

  • Come here a minute

    [re=462780]JMP[/re]: Here you go, this is what [re=462777]Cape Clod[/re] was referring to.

  • ShamWow

    [re=462801]SuedeDwayne[/re]: I bet it has something to do with his ‘youth on horseback’. Rawr!

  • Darkness

    Well, in a contest of knowledge and skill, the comedian won.

  • Cicada

    [re=462795]Zadig[/re]: I was expecting a rectangle within a rectangle. I guess it’s how the picture was cropped. Okay, I’ll upgrade him to a B-.

  • user-of-owls

    Blanche Lincoln has not made up her mind yet whether or not she’s going to draw a map of Arkansas or support a cartographic filibuster instead.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Of coruse fucking Al Franken would go and draw partial borders for surrounding states as well. Show off.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=462765]glamourdammerung[/re]: I know.

    I was making an insensitive reference to the fact that he’s a Chambliss-beaten triple amputee with a terrible eye for art.

  • norbizness

    Don’t know much about history
    Don’t know much about geography
    The devil done wrote those science books
    And don’t even get me started on that French I took

    But I do know that Jesus is Lord
    Actual facts just get me bored
    And that’s why I’m the wonderful GOP.

  • freppish

    Wyoming wins, he just drew a box with yellowstone, devils tower, and some other park, no cities listed because well, who can name a city in Wyoming?

  • Dangerous

    Actually, it looks like a hybrid of Georgia and Mississippi. He got the left (west) side of Georgia correct (ironically), but the right side is a mess with the bump in the wrong place, but it’s also wrong for Mississippi.

    There are lots of better reasons to slam Saxby Chambliss than his weak drawing ability.

  • user-of-owls
  • bobwurst

    Alaska looks like the outline of a projectile vomit splatter that caught the edge of a rug. Or so I’ve been told.

  • bobwurst

    u[re=462832]user-of-owls[/re]:

    There’s nothing like a juicy cut of Argentinian meat.

  • One Yield Regular

    To be fair, I believe that some of our U.S. Senators don’t have maps, such as South Africa and the Iraq and such as, and we should build up our future for our children. Thank you.

  • vladster

    dem thar is the Caucasus Mountains, where all dem damn yogurt eaters live.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=462780]JMP[/re]: [re=462757]Blue_in_VA[/re]: Collins just traced her right breast.

  • twowheeljunkie

    [re=462775]Cicada[/re]: Ha! He used the paper to represnt the state.
    Epic fail

  • snideinplainsight

    No one scribbles that fast in Georgia, son!

  • Next Great Pwndit

    Saxby was sired by Colonel Y.T. Chambliss, out of the dame Cecilia “Sissy” Saxby.

  • snideinplainsight

    Sherman did.

  • bago

    Georgia. Containing the tain.

  • Click

    [re=462828]Extemporanus[/re]: Don’t sweat it, you’re sensitive n all the right places.

  • twowheeljunkie

    [re=462856]twowheeljunkie[/re]: Oh wait. Then how did he write off the paper?
    Epic fail on me.

  • DC Hates Me

    It’s Mississippi .. with a giant oil spill in the Gulf.

  • answerbird

    Leave him alone! Can he help it that this is not one important thing in his state, much less three?!

  • pondscum

    Durdin is such a suckup. Why no mention of Blago’s hair?

  • the problem child

    [re=462743]chascates[/re]: Clicky the clicky. Sen. Begich forgot to label his dots, perhaps because they are in the middle of nowhere.

  • Tamra

    Well, he is related to Robert Chambliss of Mississippi. so not surprised at all. ;)

  • Click

    Saxby nimble
    Saxby quick
    Saxby about as talented as
    any other pig-fucking hick.

  • digibal235

    Enzi seems to have used a stencil to draw a perfect square for Wyoming; but he did a nice sketch of the mountain from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which is awesome.

  • the problem child

    I think Dick Durbin should get points for being cute about his three places.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    What? Nobody from Louisiana stepped up? IT’S A GODDAMNED BOOT WITH A DISTENDED TOE, PEOPLE. NOT HARD.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=462904]the problem child[/re]: Maybe that’s because there are over 40 different words for each of them.

    Also, did they really have to use red dots? It makes the U.S. look like an albino Biggie Smalls.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=462920]the problem child[/re]: “It’s ok, Dick. Just show us on the doll where they touched your three places.”

  • snideinplainsight

    It’s dissappointing to me that he left out Mordor and Barhad-dur.

  • McDuff

    Johnny Isakson’s map of Georgia — actually worse than Chambliss doodle.

  • biscuits

    For the record, the other Senator from Georgia also seems to think that he lives in Mississippi.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Just who the heck does National Geographic think it is, Katie Couric? Going out and asking fact-based questions! De nerve!

    However – neither Senator from Colorado could draw a square?

    Wow!

  • saggyboobedhag

    His “mountains” rectangle excludes the part of Georgia where Deliverance was filmed. Hmmmmm.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    It would have been funner if Shameless had noted Experiment, Bacon, Climax and Butts, Georgia.

    Now if he had been from South Carolina….

  • SouthernDem

    [re=462966]McDuff[/re]: I agree, Isakson’s is worse. Chambliss’ really isn’t that bad except for the weird box of mountains.

    Claire McCaskill’s is really ugly.

  • stratonike

    Holy shit where is Early Cuyler on that map??? Whereas!

  • El Pinche

    Crist’s cockesque Florida is the best though. He uses Cuba and Puerto as Florida’s baawwwls.

  • Blue_in_VA

    [re=462804]rmontcal[/re]: Yeah, I’ve seen it before, but thanks for the link because it’s always worth watching. That’s why I called him a geography wonk. Norm who?

  • El Pinche

    [re=463024]El Pinche[/re]: Puerto Rico, that is.

  • Blue_in_VA

    [re=462844]One Yield Regular[/re]: You win.

  • AxmxZ

    [re=462744]Blue_in_VA[/re]: I dunno, the Idaho one is … very thorough.

  • user-of-owls

    Saxby Chambliss Thinks Georgia Looks Like *This*….

    …but Black People Think Georgia Looks Like *This*

  • Bearbloke

    [re=462791]Mr Blifil[/re]: Hey, at least ol’ Grampa Sexby didn’t spell the name of “Atlanta” as ‘N-I-G-R-A-S’…

  • CapnFatback

    Georgia: The Mullet State.

  • ladymacbeth

    how come pansy ass CA and NY and MI, LA, TX, KY, FL, OK, NM, CO, PA, etc. etc. haven’t stepped up to the plate, hnnnnngggghhhh?

    scared ole saxboy might actually be more creative?

  • tartan

    [re=463240]ladymacbeth[/re]: Indeed–Only Wyoming and Colorado are easier to draw than the lower peninsula of Michigan.

  • tartan

    And wow–there’s some awful penmanship all around. Nifty ‘S’ on Saxby’s signature, though.

  • FilthyMilk

    I couldn’t find Blaine on the Missouri map.

  • BobTheBuilder

    [re=462723]Extemporanus[/re]: Win!

  • LowerdPeninsula

    My first thought was “damn; this really looks like Mississippi.” But, then again, I know about geography and shit.

    [re=462719]trondant[/re]: “The Bad Carolina” I’m going to have to remember that one. Maybe, South Dakota can be called “The Best Dakota”.

  • cenghan

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  • Walker

    [re=463255]FilthyMilk[/re]: Umm….Saxby’s from Georgia….not Missouri. And there is a Blaine in Georgia.

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