How to make a Comedy Film: go to one of Sarah Palin’s book signings, walk near the front of the line (where they’ve been waiting for several hours), find the folks with the wackiest We Love Sarah-style t-shirts, preferably covered in stickers declaring even more support for Sarah Palin, introduce yourself to them, *make sure the camera is rolling,* and then ask basically any question. [YouTube]

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  1. “…and now we’re reaping the benefits, er, consequences of big government.”

    Freudian slip, much? Or did she just not study her talking points enough before heading to the bookstore? Lord knows I don’t.

  2. It’s time to declare new country for these knuckle draggers: The Patriotic Peoples Republican of Reagan-i-stan. Wall ’em out, give ’em a pile of money and a pile of guns and say, folks you’re on own. President Lincoln? FAIL.

  3. I am mortified on behalf of my dear state of Michigan.

    I’m just glad that Joe didn’t say “Big Government isn’t the Final Solution.”

    Sarah Palin upholds the Constitution? With what? She’s not even in office!


  4. Is anyone else getting the ‘mo vibe from Joe? I mean… yellow rubber wrist bracelet, tight fitted-T on top of a long sleeved-T and everything is white? And girl those jeans were WAY too tight for straight man standards.

    I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’…

  5. [re=461887]Jim Newell[/re]: Which, of course, is why the United States of America still has the Articles of Confederation. A weak central government worked out just great (other than almost losing the Revolutionary War for us, of course).

    There simply weren’t any good reasons to replace the Articles of Confederation. The Heritage Foundation ad says it best: “The Founding Fathers got it right the first time.”

    Other than slavery, maybe. And women voting. And people who don’t own property voting. Direct election of Senators.

    And that whole Constitution thingy…

  6. [re=461899]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: WIN! Who does she think she is, Katie Couric? She’s supposed to ask Palin supporters what kind of music they like, their favorite tv shows, etc.

  7. Norah should have asked these idjits how much they think they’ll get for her autographed book on eBay, which is why I’ll bet a majority of them are standing in line because hey, home credit line don’t work anymore.

    Jim Newell, please have Riley track how many copies of her autographed “book” appear on eBay over the next several weeks.

  8. These people are doing a terrific job of making Scientologists, Rajneeshees, and members of the Spartacus Youth League look like deep independent thinkers.

  9. [re=461888]SmutBoffin[/re]: I wish there was a way to promote this comment.

    I love that the two supports they chose (a couple?) were a fem guy (wearing makeup?) in a youth large shirt and lots of fabulous flair(!) and a manly sounding girl.


  10. [re=461906]earnestcivilservant[/re]: Since an essential aspect of the American system is that the people are the government – we don’t have kings and stuff, or a permanent ruling class, and since the government is of, by, and for the people, if someone is so against the government aren’t they against themselves?

    I never have understood on right wing nutz from Ronald Reagan to John Bohner can be so anti-government yet work so hard to get elected to that same government.

  11. Oh I get it know. Sarah Palin was for the bail before she was against it.
    These people need to be thrown off the “Bridge to Nowhere”

    Wish SP was coming to Philly :(

  12. I’m waiting (hoping/praying) one of these ‘tards is a DailyKoser in disguise & when they get up to Snowbilly for her autograph, they ask her about all those lies she’s been telling … oh, & if she banged Levi (all on camera, of course).

  13. [re=461900]Capricatony[/re]: Apparently, like her smile, Sarah Palin’s penchant for mixed metaphors is contagious.

    It’s not the smile or disemboweled metaphors we need to be worried about. It’s the HOOKWORMS!

  14. Christ. Who made it through all four minutes? (raises hand) Here’s the thing: if you can only say “uphold the Constitution” over and over again, please have some idea of what is contained in the document.

    I don’t go around saying Chris Dudley was the best basketball player of all time.

  15. In other news, morons are stupid, and are prone to endlessly waiting in pointless lines, forever, to meet other morons, because of shitty books, which are ghost written by yet more morons.

  16. The people waiting in this line are people who can listen to Sarah Palin talk, then nod and say without irony: “I never thought of it that way before.”

    This is where bipartisanship fails, for the same reason that hospitals don’t hire vagrants with Down’s syndrome and serious head trauma for their doctors to consult on a diagnosis.

  17. Yes, they feel a connection, because they’re all special ed, just like her. She arrived on the bus for the book burning, I mean signing, the short bus.

  18. Q1: Can you read?
    Q2: What grade did you drop out of?
    Q3: How many books have you purchased before today?
    Q4: If you could buy the Goin’ Rogue dust jacket covering a completely blank book, would you?

  19. [re=461932]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: my sentiments exactly…if i didn’t have to wait in line with “thousands” of Pennslytuckians, I’d do it.

  20. [re=461934]user-of-owls[/re]: Christ Jeebus you’re right, the Palin Book Tour is a traveling health disaster. DON’T SHAKE HANDS WITH THE HOOKWORM LADY, WINGNUTS, OR YOU WILL NEED ALL THE HEALTHCARE YOU PROTEST AGAINST!

  21. What I Learned From This Clip:
    -The only catchphrases these people know are “Big Government” and “Uphold the Constitution”
    -Sarah Palin’s unique brand of “English” isn’t so unique after all.

  22. Grand Rapids….home to the Gerald Ford Museum, Amway and thousands and thousands of squeaky clean Christians.
    There are still towns surrounding the city with rules on the books about mowing your lawn on Sunday.

  23. So “MSNBC Chief Whitehouse Corespondant” Norah O’Donnell is at a Michigan strip mall hours before Palin is even going to show up? Who’d she stop bangin?

  24. I love the chick doing the interview, doesn’t make a single move to help Clueless Joe in his embarrassing attempt to remember a name (try writing it on your shirt, asshole). And what was with Little Nicky? I was preparing for a meltdown when that horrifying monotone of hers gave way to a slight tremulo.

  25. “She’s a real person who’s not afraid to tell it like it is and more competent than McCain to be President and setting the record straight and let Sarah be Sarah, and wait, she was for the bailout?”

    “But we lost the Constitution to big government and whoever was in charge of the Fed said he’d do something different and it’s one of those questions that the bailout was different than Sarah wanted and I can’t remember his name.”

  26. Grand Rapids is one of the more conservative towns in MI. Home of Amway, the multi billion dollar pyramid scheme company. Palin will fit right in there.

  27. [re=461886]Woodwards Friend[/re]: You mean the shoplifter?

    Don’t worry, I’m sure mall security has their eye on him. He won’t get far.

    [re=461935]JoeMac[/re]: All of them, Katie. They needed all of them.

    [re=461906]earnestcivilservant[/re]: From Roger & Me to Rogue & Me.

    When the hell are you guys gonna get your shit together? Michael Moore is running out film!

  28. Now you people see what I have to deal with all the time. Grand Rapids is 90 miles south of me, those nuts actually sound a little smarter than my nuts. Michigan: love the scenery hate the people. Also, If you liked Bush you’ll love Palin!

  29. [re=461924]Tundra Grifter[/re]: They’re not against themselves being the government, they’re against all those other people being a part of this “government” concept too.

    The constitution was meant to protect and promote the superiority of stupid insecure white people who fear thought, new things and scary scary brown people. Rights is about what you’re allowed to do to other people you don’t like, because you’re better than them. That is equality. Anything else is soshalist/fascist/terrizms.

  30. “The hammer was clamped on her.”

    Unfortunately for Sarah, Tom Delay only knew how to grind during the election. If only Dancing with the Stars had come earlier…

  31. [re=461906]earnestcivilservant[/re]: Ah, the end result of the abominable cuts the morans in Lansing keep making to education in this state. I demand Stupak’s head on a pike pole!

  32. She just lies and lies and these people are so scared that they believe whatever they hear from someone who reassures them at all. Horrible. And sad, also.

  33. In fairness to those two that Norah interviewed, they were up late last night at an “Ow My Balls” marathon, and really weren’t thinking straight.

  34. It’s a veritable tsunami of stupid. It’s an ignorance so massive and so dense, that it manifests itself as physical pain amongst those with the misfortune to witness its stumbling, bumbling, mumbling incoherence (i.e., man, it hurts to watch that shit).

  35. You can totally see the vaporlock happen on her face when she is told Palin supported the bailout. The machinery came to a grinding halt. Somebody should edit in a stock film scene of a car crash. SMALLER GUBBERMINT!!!! (CRASH)

  36. To be fair, all those people waited in line to see her for three hours only because nobody in Michigan has a job and there’s nothing else to do. I guess the appropriate question for Norah to ask would have been to see who was paying for that book with either unemployment money, welfare, or from working at a car company propped up by the government.

  37. What a bunch of FREAKIN’ MORONS.

    Note to every television broadcaster on the planet:

    Have any of you not learned that “the walk” is just about the most stupid, hackneyed and dumb-looking thing you can do on television? It’s been parodied and satirized for at least 25 years. DO NOT DO “THE WALK.” It’s just stupid.

    And what’s up with these news organizations complaining about decreasing revenues and profits, but they waste money on sending some nitwit reporter and some camera guy to the Midwest for a book signing? And a Palin book signing at that! What a waste of money! Who cares!

    There’s real news occurring right here, in Washington, D.C.

    News guys: Get a life.

  38. [re=462005]Extemporanus[/re]: I saw her too. Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain. She was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook’s.

  39. [re=461919]memzilla[/re]: There are signed “imited edition” boxed sets on Ebay right now. So go for it. Only $91! TruckNutz not included, also.

  40. [re=461890]depraved indifference engine[/re]: She didn’t study the talking points, but she did pause to sell her foodstamps for a bottle of Wild Irish Rose.

  41. [re=462021]user-of-owls[/re]: I knew a different Vikki. I guess you could say she was a text fiend.

    She said “How’d you like to waste some time?” And I could not resist when I saw little Vikki’s line.

    [re=462039]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=462031]Click[/re]: A little old lady got death panel rated late last night!

  42. [re=462066]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=462059]user-of-owls[/re]: Thanks for letting me borrow your t-shirt!

    (And please don’t be mad, but I think I might have stretched it out a bit…)

  43. I’m gonna tattoo “USS Constitution” on my dick and wade into the next book signing. I bet I can pick up her AND him.

    I miss Nora’s pregnant primary thighs. Also.

  44. [re=461941]Uncle Joe[/re]: Not to mention the US Constitution’s negative rights, the Takings Clause, and does promoting the general welfare include Federally-mandated health insurance.

  45. I particularly like when the massive dolt and others insist the McCain campaign wouldn’t “let Sarah be Sarah”, despite it being common knowledge during the campaign that she had “gone rogue” and would not follow instructions or accept any advice, prepping, or coaching. They are all too stupid to realize the contradiction of maintaining this belief while buying a book called GOING ROGUE, a memoir about having gone rogue, in the past tense, specifically, during the McCain campaign. GAH.

  46. I am so heartened to hear that these folks are for “The Constitution”. I hope that means that they will dump a little of their cash into the ACLU’s coffers and join in the fight to undo the damage the Bush administration did with regards to civil liberties.

    Ha ha ha ha ha. I know they don’t mean the actual Constitution, they mean the pretend one that Sarah and her ilk invoke. You know, the one that talks about our country being founded by Jesus and repealing the capital gains tax. Sigh.

  47. [re=461887]Jim Newell[/re]: So wait, that’s a “lady,” not a tween? Cause when I thought she was some 8th grader it looked like the newslady was being totally mean, but then she was actually smarter than the other guy (who I assumed was her father).

    Maybe it’s just mean to ask any Palinites/TEABaggers/Klansmen/etc any questions that have demonstrably true or false answers.

  48. [re=461962]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Whoever it was, their taste in revenge is sweet. Norah needs to learn to smirk to the camera like Jay Leno if she’s going to keep doing these gigs and stay sane.

  49. [re=462147]Sleeves[/re]: The complicating factor here is that all these people think like 8th graders. But she looks like a kid to me, and sounds like a reasonably smart one. She’ll probably go through an Ayn Rand phase in a year or two, and may wind up commenting on Wonkette in college.

    Also: if she’s a kid, everyone stop picking on her, please.

  50. [re=461913]Tundra Grifter[/re]: I don’t think the Constitution or the Articles forbade blacks and women voting. Both groups, including at least one documented black woman, voted in NJ from 1776-1807. There was only a property requirement.

  51. Norah O’Donnell tricked the poor Palin supporters with fact-based questions. This is what’s known as “gotcha journalism,” and it’s not fair. A better question would have been more like, “What’s your favorite Constitution?” or “How do you like Sarah’s new blonde highlights?” That sort of thing. It covers both sides of the issues, you know?

  52. [re=462178]NYNYNY[/re]: Yep. If you wanted to ban blacks and women from voting, you had to rely on your state legislature to git ‘r done. This is what they mean when they talk about “states’ rights.”

  53. Shuster: “So are they there because of POLICY [eye roll — AS IF] or because, like some kind of human-crow hybrids they are drawn to shiny objects?”

    Always with the overkill!

  54. [re=462157]hunter.blatherer[/re]: She didn’t sound like a kid to me, but I did some googling just to make sure (I would feel terrible making fun of a 14 year old! sometimes?), and I think this is her (, and apparently she is the best soccer player in world history, and a college freshman, and insanely jesusy, and an intern for the Michigan Republican Party.

    I assume she got the t-shirt at her internship, which resolves the main question I had after watching this video, which was why didn’t I get a snide, cliche, Republican t-shirt after TARP?

  55. “smithmen (36 minutes ago)”

    “Wow, you liberals are so damn sensitive, and scared shitless of this woman. (-7) ratings on my comment less than an hour ago. Haha. Can’t handle the truth …. so you tune into the MSNBC’s, ABC’s, and CNN’s of television, where shameless reporters mock everyday Americans for feeling a connection to a public figure.”

    If it did not involve the deposit of five dollars and change on a nightstand table, I’d certainly go for feeling the connection. But these are tough times.

  56. [re=462219]Jim Newell[/re]: Right over her shoulder is Kris Kringle and the elf incognita, reading “And I still had to pay for it!” on the reverse…a-checking that off the list, for Chrissakes. :)

  57. Newsbite TV (broadcast, cable, DSL, satellite, or the interbet). Corral dazed commoners into the scope of the camera lights and let them enjoy their fifteen seconds by giving random quotable phrases. (Ignore anyone with a fresh shave or an Ann Taylor suit, even if from Goodwill.) End with, “Palin supporters still against Big Government”, without asking any of them what they mean by Big Government.

    If O’Donnell had the looks of Mamie Eisenhower, she’d be doing the radio traffic reports from Cedar Rapids.

  58. A few things…

    – Grand Rapids is the Mississippi of Michigan, though, the Christianity is of a significantly different variety: Dutch Reformed, which is more insular (less evangelical, think the Amish), stoic, intellectual and sparse. Regardless, it fits Palin to a “T” the accent and all.

    – Michigan gave went to Obama by over 15% points. That’s even after the Dems snubbed Michigan for moving their primary up, thus meaning Obama didn’t even campaign in the state, at all.

    I guess what I’m saying is that if Palin thinks her originally “Going Rogue” to visit Michigan will mean she has any chance in this state, than she’s more stupid than I thought, which is a feat hard to accomplish.

  59. [re=462239]S.Luggo[/re]:
    Top portion of my deathless words chopped of due to some fucking happy face. So I’ll repeat. You’re welcome.
    Newsbite TV (broadcast , cable, DSL, satellite, or the interbet). Corral dazed commoners into the scope of the camera lights and let them enjoy their fifteen seconds by giving random quotable phrases. (Ignore anyone with a fresh shave or an Ann Taylor suit, even if from Goodwill.) End with, “Palin supporters still against Big Government”, without asking any of them what they mean by Big Government.

    If O’Donnell had the looks of Mamie Eisenhower, she’d be doing the radio traffic reports from Cedar Rapids.

  60. [re=462241]LowerdPeninsula[/re]:
    Grand Rapids was once (20, 30 years ago?) a major center for the manufacture of household furniture (bedroom and living room suites) for the US market.

    Since then, the manufacture of same has shifted abroad (which is why we can now buy the flimsy fiberboard shit at K/Wal/Target Mart.

    The lathers, carpenters, tackers, and upholstery workers have long since been laid off, leaving their kids with unskilled service economy jobs.

    Much the same has happened with rest of blue collar Michigan.

    Point: Michigan is an open wound looking for a salve, even one that does not cure, but merely distracts it from its pain. It is a sewer for the vague, populist motto. Palin is taking her turn now.

  61. Well, first she bombed a presidential election that could have been a
    shoo-in for any white male, and then she quit a governor job –
    presumably to start a career as a community disorganizer.

    Oh, then she helped switch a town to Democrat, who had voted
    Republican ever since that meant Northern educated liberals. And she
    did it all by making racists think their voting bloc is much,
    much bigger than it really is!

    Go Sarah! Obama welcomes his re-election.

  62. The first sentence of Ben Smith’s midnight missive on Miss Wasilla’s Michigan visit to Grand “Mall” Rapids:

    “If Sarah Palin were running for president, this is where she’d come…”

    The second sentence of said missive:

    “And if she were running for president, she’d be doing about what she did Wednesday, under the watchful eyes a half-dozen capable advance hands…”

    Also, these:

    “The state seemed to be returning her affection Wednesday…”

    “‘I wear a suit and nylons and pumps to work,’ while loving…”

    “‘…they got into that donut hole…'”

    “She represents, he said…’putting homos back in the closet.'”

    “A few minutes later, a diffident young man wandered by with a handmade ‘Homos for Palin’ t-shirt…”

    ““You’ve got to zip it up or leave,” said the security guard…”

    Featuring characters with names such as Trig, Yob, Voorhees, Huntsman, Agema, Recher, Crouch, Weinert, Rexanna, Rush, Mitt, and—for comic relief—Joe Biden’s Butt, it’s one Mount Pleasant byline away from “Charlatan Romance”-level Fabio-lousness.

  63. [re=462250]S.Luggo[/re]: “Point: Michigan is an open wound looking for a salve, even one that does not cure, but merely distracts it from its pain. It is a sewer for the vague, populist motto. Palin is taking her turn now.”

    Sorry, Palin could come uproot her family and plant down her base in Michigan, and it would still vote in the double-digits, Democratically at the national level for years to come. We don’t take kindly to evangelicals, here. It’s why Granholm stomped the creepy Amway dude for governor a few years back. That shit may play further south, but you practically have to be a non-showy Catholic (and even some times a non-practicing one) to win governorships and such.

  64. [re=461960]blader[/re]: ” isn’t a culture war, it is a breeding war.” That’s bad news for teh gays here. Bad news for everybody, actually.

    It’s cold in Michigan in November, and only a third of the people have jobs. Anyone would draw a crowd to a mall. The worst you can do is stay warm. You might also score some food samples from Meijers, or a bong hit, or a Palin t-shirt.

  65. [re=462219]Jim Newell[/re]: Ok, if she’s in college already it’s probably too late. There’s also this: “After visiting and meeting Coach and the girls and lots of praying and seeing God work in different areas, I feel that this is where God wants me.”

    So that’s where the ultra-religious belong: playing sports, thanking G-d when they win and remaining moot on the subject otherwise.

  66. [re=462219]Jim Newell[/re]: Hey Jim, can you do some googling on me, next? I can’t remember whether I made it past the fourth grade. Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

  67. [re=462250]S.Luggo[/re]: Try more than a century…the story of Berkey & Gay of Grand Rapids, MI; April/September (quarto), 1911:

    Berkey & Gay are not a money-making concern, primarily. The atmosphere of their plant is that of a studio, where artists bring into being their conceptions of beauty. To see the men making the furniture is an education. The patient, true workman’s fondness with which they handle the rare woods, with which they attain perfection in every detail, is an illustration of why the old masters of furniture-making produced pieces that are accepted as authoritative studies, and are used as illustrative examples by connoisseurs who write upon this subject. The Berkey & Gay people have a phrase in their advertising—” For Your Children’s Heirlooms “—which maybe catches the spirit of their work better than anything else that might be said.

    Dead, dead, and long gone…the grandchildren and great-grandchildren, knuckledragger teabaggers to the last…grandpappy who worked a lathe at B&G spins like same lathe in his grave, his progeny getting vacu-formed stackables made by ChiCom hands at Wal-Mart, 5 for 3 sawbucks…

  68. [re=461910]Guy Fawkesy[/re]: What gave it away, the manscaped eyebrows or the index finger ring? Maybe it was the desperate stench of someone so deep in the closet that they have to pretend to be a Republican to pass. I say this will all respect, as some of my best friends (really) are ‘mos. People like that dude just drive me crazy.

  69. Specifically???? “umm.. the constitution.. you know limiting the government..” I love how Palin supporters can’t name a policy that Palin supports or why they like her policies… They just love Rogue.. The word.. Maverick.. Yeah.. Retards…

  70. Time is always non-linear to these people. Although she was for the bailout then, if you ask you ask her now she was not.
    I’m not ready to debate time direction.

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